5. Cassie
CASSIE
I knew I was close to Vigo even before I saw the numbered plaque on the wall marking his room. I could hear his voice alternating with a female voice that I guessed was a nurse, their conversation clearly a product of Vigo’s hearing loss.
“I’m here with your medication,” the nurse said.
“I think it’s too soon to take a vacation,” Vigo said. “Rain check?”
The nurse’s sigh was audible as I approached the door to Vigo’s room. “I’m not going to take you on vacation.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” Vigo said.
I pushed open the door and just about cried with relief. Vigo was sitting propped up in the hospital bed, a small bandage on his forehead and a larger one on his left arm, his upper body hidden by a hospital gown that was stretched to the limit by his broad shoulders.
He turned to look at me, and I was pretty sure I saw the same relief reflected in his sage-green eyes.
“Thank fuck,” he said. “The police said you’d made it to town, but I couldn’t breathe easy until I saw it for myself. Actually, I can’t breathe easy now either, but that’s on account of my broken ribs.”
I hurried toward him and he raised his arms and pulled me into an embrace, then gasped. “Ow, fuck!”
I pulled back. “Sorry!”
“I’m not. Worth it to hug you.”
His blond hair was tousled and his face was covered in small cuts, but he’d never looked better to me. He was alive, and I was just beginning to realize that that was one of the things I needed to feel alive too.
“You scared me,” I said.
“You married me?” he asked. “Wait… I married you?”
I’d forgotten about his hearing loss. “No, ‘scared.’ You scared me.”
“Oh.” He looked disappointed. “That’s significantly less exciting.”
I was surprised when a small laugh escaped my mouth. Two hours earlier I’d been pretty sure I would never laugh again.
Vigo studied me, then carefully lifted a hand to my face. “You okay, mouse? Did you get away before that fucking grenade went off? You look a little rough.”
I reached up to touch my tangled hair, then remembered my race through the woods along the river.
The one time I’d looked in the mirror when I’d finally gone to the bathroom in the hospital waiting room, I’d been shocked by my reflection.
It wasn’t just the dried leaves that had tangled in my hair, the dirt smudged on my face, the tiny cut on my left cheek, a wound I didn’t even remember getting.
It had been the haunted look in my eyes, the eyes of someone who’d almost lost everything.
“I’m fine.” I sat on the edge of his hospital bed, glad Bram and Maeve had stayed in the waiting room so I could talk to Vigo in private. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”
“Like I fell on a grenade.” He looked up, like something was just occurring to him. “Wait a minute…”
I laughed without thinking, then stopped. It felt wrong to laugh when Hawk was in such bad shape. Plus, I hadn’t even seen Jagger yet.
“How bad?” Now Vigo’s expression was serious too, like he’d heard everything I hadn’t said.
“Jagger will be okay,” I said. “I haven’t seen him yet — they have him sedated — but the doctor said he’s pretty cut up. She said he has a concussion and a burn on one arm.”
“Hawk?”
“He’s…” I took a deep breath. For all of Vigo’s humor, he was still injured.
The Hawks had been strong for me after my accident.
Now it was my turn to be strong for them.
“He’s in bad shape, Vigo. He’s cut up like you and Jagger, but he has a bad burn on his right side, and his liver was punctured in the blast. They had to do surgery to stop the bleeding. ”
“Fuck…” Vigo’s forehead creased with worry. “He’s going to make it though… right?”
I licked my lips, forced myself to speak the words I didn’t want to think, let alone say. “They don’t know.”
He scowled. “What do you mean they don’t know?”
I understood his confusion. Hawk was bigger than life, as permanent as a mountain. The possibility of anything happening to him, of anything taking him away from me — from us — seemed impossible.
“He’s lost a lot of blood. They had to do a transfusion. He’s not allowed visitors yet, but he’s in the ICU. The doctor said the next twenty-four hours are critical.”
Vigo sank into the hospital mattress, his gaze traveling to the ceiling. “Fuck.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “This is… this is all my fault.”
He turned his gaze on me. “What the fuck are you talking about, mouse?”
“I lost the Hunt and you got dragged into my mess anyway,” I said. “We shouldn’t have gone to France. We shouldn’t have gone to the paper mill. We should have just left it all alone.”
“Fuck that,” he said, taking my hand. “Those fuckers tried to kill you. No one walks away from that.”
His eyes shone, and for the first time I saw something serious burning in their depths.
Something like conviction.
It didn’t change my mind. I’d taken my search for answers about my parents too far. It had been fine when I was only putting myself at risk, but I’d almost cost the Hawks their lives.
That was something I wouldn’t do again. But now wasn’t the time to talk about it. I needed to make sure my men were okay.
The rest could wait.
“Will you be okay here for a bit?” I asked. “I want to check on Jagger.”
“I’m all good,” Vigo said. “Although I’d feel better if I hadn’t lost my bat at the paper mill.”
“You don’t need your bat.” I could only imagine the kind of damage he’d do in the hospital with it.
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have Bram out there planning to kill you.”
I stifled a smile and shook my head. “He’s not planning to kill you.”
“The fuck he’s not. You almost got blown to bits by a grenade.”
“But I didn’t.” I looked into his eyes and felt my love for him swell like a balloon in my chest. “Because of you.”
“No way we were going to let something happen to you, mouse. We love you too much to let that happen.”
He said it so casually I almost missed it.
“You… love me?”
He scowled. “Obviously.”
I bit my lower lip. “I love you too.”
His face lit up. “Really?”
I nodded. “I was so scared. So scared you might be…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the word.
“Taking a dirt nap? Pushing up daisies? Checking the— ”
“Stop.” I held up a hand, then nodded. “Yeah, I was scared you were dead, okay? Scared that I’d never get to tell you I love you.”
“Is this ‘I love you’ just for me?” he asked. “Or am I sharing it? Asking for a friend.”
I thought of Hawk, of Jagger. “You’re sharing it.”
He held my face in his hands. “Cool.”
He kissed me, and I almost forgot that the other two pieces of my heart were in trouble.
But just for a minute.
“I have to go see Jagger,” I said when Vigo pulled away.
I waited for him to make a wisecrack, something about how he had bigger plans for me (emphasis on the word bigger) or how he could make me forget all about Jagger.
But he didn’t. Not this time.
“Will you come back? Tell me how he’s doing?” Vigo asked.
“Definitely.” I got to my feet. “After I see Hawk.”
“I thought you said he wasn’t allowed visitors yet,” Vigo said.
I headed for the door. “I’d like to see them try and stop me."