Chapter 31
ANNIE – LATE OCTOBER
Tanner and Tequila
He came in his pants.
I cannot fathom how much that makes me want to go again, though my breathing is still labored and I’m still seeing stars from the best orgasm I’ve had in my life. I’ve only been with one other man and mostly for quickies in secret, so I don’t have much of a comparison.
But the way Tanner touched me and spoke to me, the way he made this entirely about me, is making me feel a wicked concoction of emotions.
I want to laugh and cry and jump on him for more but also lie on his chest and let him cuddle me to sleep.
I’m… confused. Happy and satisfied. Utterly terrified that I somehow drew him in to ruining our friendship.
All while my brother is staying in the same hotel and I have a baby, Auston’s baby, at home. While knowing Tanner has so many codes and lines and rules that we just obliterated.
I could deal with it all, if it wasn’t for the way he’s sitting on the end of the bed now, dragging a hand back through his hair. Like an oil painting of regret.
“Annie…”
My name is suddenly very different on his lips – a sound I feel deep in the pit of my stomach. If I was tipsy before, I’m stone-cold sober now. The only regret I have is that the earth clearly didn’t move for Tanner the way it did me.
He’s right, my heart hasn’t been completely broken all this time I’ve worried it was because another piece of it is cracking now.
He turns to look at me across his shoulder and I bring the bedcover over me. “I’m going to clean up,” I tell him, tugging out the sheet from under him, though he eventually has to stand to let me have it.
We’re facing each other as he looks down over me and says, “Are you okay? This isn’t— That wasn’t— It was unexpected.”
“Tanner, please.” I pat his chest – aloof, nonchalant, totally cool. “Let’s not make this weird. We’re two buddies, who shared an orgasm. We’re grown-ups. No need to make it a thing. Right?” Correct me. Tell me I’m wrong.
He clears his throat. “That’s what you— Buddies.” He rubs that perfectly groomed beard that perfectly rubbed my thighs. “Right.”
I swallow through the tightening of my throat, needing to leave the room before the pins scratching the backs of my eyes puncture a hole and Tanner sees me cry. I don’t have more tears for men. Not after Auston. Even if Tanner is nothing like my ex, this hurts as bad.
I gesture to the wet patch seeping through his jeans. “You should probably go clean up, too.”
He grimaces. Genuinely, grimaces. Talk about the straw that broke the camel’s back.
This is me witnessing the other side of Tanner.
The one other women know. The player who wants to run right after the deed, but in this case he can’t, because it’s me, his friend, his housemate Monday to Friday, his best friend’s sister.
“I’m sorry, Annie. I don’t usually— This isn’t how I wanted tonight to go.”
Ouch.
I chuckle, hoping he can’t see straight through it.
“Sorry, I get a little randy-pandy after tequila.” Not really true, since I hardly ever drink.
I scurry off to the bathroom as quickly as I can whilst tripping up the bedsheet trailing the ground around me.
“See you in the morning for breakfast, captain?”
“You don’t want— I could shower and come back. We could—”
“Tanner Pace, lost for words. Never thought I’d see the day.
” I laugh again, this time the pitch of a hyena, as tears catch somewhere inside me.
This is on me. I did this to myself, again.
“There’s no need to snuggle this out. We’re good, Tanner.
You gave me a mind-blowing orgasm. I’m grateful.
We don’t need to make this something it isn’t. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yeah. You’re right. Nothing to tell… anyone, I guess?”
“Our secret is safe with me,” I say. “No need to tell my brother.”
I hear him say, “Right,” as I close the bathroom door, turn on the faucet and cover my mouth to prevent a sob escaping.
What did I do?