Chapter 45
FORTY-FIVE
DAISY
When the sun starts setting, the guys drag firewood onto the little section of the beach where the sand already looks marked by years of bonfires.
Luke disappears into the shed under the terrace and emerges with an armful of camping chairs and a set of grill skewers.
And before I know it, I’m nestled into a camping chair with a thick fleece blanket wrapped around me, listening to the fire crackling and water lapping against the sand not far from us.
“It’s so quiet here. I think I could stay forever.” Lauren sighs, head tilted back and looking at the stars above us. I tip my head back too, following her gaze. Out here, away from the light pollution in the city, the tiny lights above burn even brighter. It reminds me of the night sky back home.
During senior year, Willa and I used to drive out to the park to go stargazing.
We would spend hours out there in the dark, dreaming up elaborate plans for our future.
Me as a best-selling author traveling the world, her on a stage somewhere big and bright.
I don’t think she ever really cared what she ended up doing, as long as people were watching.
Willa has always been like that—she walks into a room and it’s like the whole world tunes in.
Luke laughs from the other side of the fire. “It’s quiet now, but you might change your mind once you meet my sister. She’ll talk your ear off before you have a chance to introduce yourself.”
“She sounds like just my type of person.”
“You might want to wait to say that until after you meet her.”
Aiden’s sits up straight, the marshmallow he was roasting drooping off the grill skewer and into the fire. He doesn’t notice, staring at Luke instead. “Olivia is coming back?”
“Yeah, she’ll be starting Southbay in the fall.” Luke nods, pointing a stern finger at Tanner and Ollie on his left. “She’s off-limits.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it anyway, Captain. I value my life too much,” Ollie chirps.
“Good, it would suck to have to dismember you before our final season.”
“Ouch, violence. I like it.”
Luke salutes him, before holding his drink up in a toast. “Better off than on the ice.”
“Inspiring words from our new captain.” Tanner snorts a laugh.
Aiden still seems shell shocked by the news of Luke’s sister returning to town. I’m eyeing him with curiosity, when Lauren rests her head on my shoulder, drawing my attention to her.
“I’m really glad you came,” she murmurs happily.
“Me too,” I tell her, meaning every word.
I glance back across the fire, but my attention snags on Connor instead of the goalie.
He’s looking at me too this time, eyes bright and reflecting the fire between us.
His attention on me feels like a warm soothing brand and I wonder how much of that has to do with how seen I feel when he looks at me and how much it’s just him.
As if sensing something between us, Lauren bursts my bubble with the one question I’ve been dreading for weeks. “What’s going on between you and Connor?”
I weigh the options, except I don’t feel like lying this time. We’ve kept it a secret from everyone for so long that I’ve forgotten why I insisted on the rule in the first place.
I was so worried that whatever is happening between us would shift our friendship dynamic, but nothing has changed, except for the way my heart speeds up in my chest whenever he looks at me.
I hope it’ll survive when I leave—it’s going to have to, because the end is barreling at me faster than I want it to.
“It’s complicated,” I admit.
“Whatever it is, it looks good on you. Both of you.” The way she says it has warmth blooming in my chest. I snuggle closer to her, feeling more at home on a strange beach, huddled around a fire with all of them, than I ever have back home. I hold on to the feeling for as long as I can.
When there’s only a few embers left, we decide to call it a night.
The guys stay behind to clean up after us, while Lauren, Vanessa, and I huddle together under our blankets and start for the warmth of the house.
There’s a bite to the night air now that the sun is gone, summer not quite getting a chance to take its hold yet.
I tell the girls good night upstairs and disappear into the guest room at the end of the hallway.
Once inside, I head straight for the bathroom, needing a hot shower to warm me up.
It takes ten minutes under the scolding hot stream before I can finally feel my toes again.
I’m drying off when I hear the guys’ laughter ringing through the house and the stampede on the staircase as they all scurry off to bed.
I slip on the matching purple pajamas I packed and throw on the faded sweatshirt I stole from Connor and have been sleeping in over the last few weeks. Then I flip back the covers and crawl into the queen-sized bed before clicking off the lights.
I lie in the dark, staring at the small sliver in the curtains for longer than I care to admit, trying to figure out how I’m ever going to say goodbye to all of this.
I’m still awake when the floorboards in the hallway creek a little while later. I turn at the sound of the soft click of my door in time to watch Connor step into my room, careful not to make a sound as he pulls the door shut behind him.
“What are you doing?” I whisper into the dark.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says, voice sounding a little bit rough. “Can I join you?”
“Someone could hear us,” I tell him. It’s not a no though, and he must realize that because he’s already pulling back the corner of the covers and sliding in beside me. His hands find my waist and tug me toward him. I go easily, melting into him, and before I know it I’m crushed to him.
“I just want to hold you,” he says, as one of his hands slides under the hem of my sleep shirt and I shiver as his cold fingers meet my warm skin.
“You’re freezing.”
“Yeah, my shower is broken. No hot water.”
“You can use mine if you want.”
He shakes his head as he burrows his face against the crook of my shoulder. “I don’t want to get up. Too comfortable.”
He sinks further down the pillow, holding me to him. My fingers find his hair, threading through it. He sighs, his shoulders easing with my touch.
“I think Luke knows about us,” he says after a moment of silence. I still, and he quickly adds, “He won’t tell anyone.”
“I think Lauren knows too,” I reply, thinking back to our conversation on the beach. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that they know.
He hesitates, giving me a chance to panic, I’m sure. When I don’t, he pulls me a little closer. “Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah, I think I am,” I admit.
I can feel him smiling when he presses a kiss to my neck. “Good.”