Chapter 50
FIFTY
CONNOR
“Before you leave today there’s something I have to tell you.”
Fifteen sets of wide-open, excited eyes turn my way.
I swallow hard, my hands tightening around the boarder separating the walkway from the rink behind me.
How the fuck am I supposed to break their hearts like this?
“I know I don’t say this a lot, but I’m really proud of all of you.
Not just for getting cool goals, but also for being good teammates to each other. ”
“Teammates forever, right, Coach?” Mads chirps to my left, completely oblivious to the tension seeping through me.
Fuck.
They’re playing against a team from Boston next week, and I’m the asshole who’s supposed to tell them that it’ll be their last game.
It’s my own fault for waiting this long, but shit, I wish I had a magic wand that could change this.
Or at the very least that the assholes at city hall were the ones delivering this news.
I swallow again, hoping I can get the words out around the lump that’s formed in my throat. “Exactly. You’re a team when you’re out on the ice, but you’re also a team when you’re not playing.”
“But mostly when we are,” Mads interjects, and I bite back the groan threatening to spill. How the hell are they making this even more difficult?
“That’s true.” I nod. “But I want you to remember what it means to be a team. How we help each other, even when we’re not on the ice.”
“You’re deflecting.” I glance to my right to find Jace staring at me with narrowed eyes.
“What does deflecting mean?” Mads asks, leaning over to look at the boy down the row from him.
“It’s something grownups do when they lie. That’s what my dad did when Mom caught him cheating last year,” Jace says matter-of-factly.
Double fuck.
Mads frowns, looking at me with wide eyes. “Are we not a team, then?”
“Of course you are buddy. I’m not lying.”
“Then why are you defecting?” Mads asks.
“Deflecting,” Jace corrects him, and it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to telling any of them to be quiet. Instead, I decide it’s best to just rip off the Band-Aid before their parents get here.
“Fine, fuck, okay. The team is shutting down.” I cringe as soon as the words are out. I probably shouldn’t curse around children. Probably shouldn’t be so blunt either, but there’s really no other way to say it.
All fifteen kids stare at me like I’ve just told them the moon is falling out of the sky.
Drew is the first one to say anything. “Do you not want to coach us any longer?”
My heart squeezes in my chest. “Of course I do, there’s nothing I want more than to continue to coach you. But they’re closing down the rink, and without ice I’m no good for teaching you how to skate.”
“They can’t close it, we’re using it,” he argues, stomping his skates against the floor.
“I know, buddy.”
“Do something,” Mads demands in the silence, and the next thing I know, they’re all chanting the same thing at me. I let them get the first rush of frustration out before I hold up my hands, motioning for them to quiet down. It takes longer than usual to get their attention.
“I’m trying. But I don’t want to promise you something if I can’t keep it,” I lie, hoping it’ll cushion the blow until they get used to the idea.
“You’ll keep it.” Mads nods, crossing his arms over his chest and staring up at me with wild determination. Sometimes I really wish I had the same confidence as these kids.
“What if I can’t?” My voice breaks on the question.
“Then we’ll break in,” Mads exclaims.
“Yeah!” Drew agrees. “They won’t know if we skate at night.”
I chuckle despite the somber feeling. “You’re all like, ten, how are you going to get here at night?”
“I got a new bike for Christmas,” Mads counters.
“You’re not going to bike here in the middle of the night,” I tell him, running a hand over my face in exasperation. I won’t even bother to tell him that they’re most likely going to tear the whole place down to the ground before long.
Mads narrows his eyes at me, tilting his chin up in sheer defiance, like I’m the one who’s made the decision to tear down this place. “Try and stop us.”
“Fine, I’ll see what I can do, but all of you need to stay in bed at night, okay? No sneaking out,” I tell them with a pointed look.
“Promise?” Mads asks, his voice softer this time.
“I promise, now go home before any of you get any more bad ideas.”
Hayden is the only one who lingers when all of the rest of them make a mad dash for the boards. “You won’t forget about us, will you?” he asks, staring up at me with round eyes.
I shake my head. “I won’t forget about you,” I promise, my voice sounding throatier than normal. These kids are going to be the death of me.