18. Date me up, Machado.
18 /
date me up, machado.
rafael
As soon as the words leave my lips, the smile leaves hers.
Fuck .
I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have taken more time to watch the way her cupid’s bow stretches when she smiles. The way her eyes squint a little and how her freckles seem to dance over her crinkled nose. I missed the chance to savor it.
Charlie chews on her bottom lip, and I find I can’t tear my eyes away from that, either. It’s when she clears her throat that I finally look elsewhere, taking in the rosy cheeks and her lowered gaze, intent on the coffee cup at her feet.
“Thank you for saying all of that. I didn’t expect it, but I appreciate it all the same. I think it’d be nice if we could maybe forget all that shit in the past. Otherwise, I feel like we’re going to keep getting stuck in this uncomfortable place where we keep saying sorry to each other, you know?” I massage the back of my neck, aware of the tension building there, knowing all too well that if I let it, it’ll keep building until I can’t take it anymore. It’s been a while since I’ve had a migraine, so part of me feels like I’m due for one, and when this kind of tension builds, it’s a pretty safe way to guarantee I’ll have one. Like the last one. When things with Dad and Arthur really went to shit. Probably best not to think about that now, though.
“Yeah. I think you’re right.” She gives a tight-lipped smile. Twenty minutes ago, I would have been beside myself at seeing any kind of smile on her face, but this isn’t a real smile. Not like the one she just gifted me with a minute ago.
“All right, then let’s move on.” I crouch down, pick up her iced coffee, and extend it to her. It feels like a peace offering of sorts, a way to mark this new start to whatever the fuck this is. “Shall we?”
Charlie takes the coffee, her fingertips brushing over my knuckles in the process. She brings the cup to her lips, then abruptly lowers it again. “Wait. Do you want this? I mean, yours is gone, and you really seemed to want coffee before we walked here, so it only seems fair.”
I chuckle at her offer because while she’s audibly offering me her coffee, she’s also clutching the cup with both hands against her chest, clearly wrestling with letting it go. “I’m good, Ginger Spice. That one is all yours.” She gives me a skeptical eyebrow raise. “I drank most of mine anyway. It wouldn’t be fair to take yours. I’m fine.”
“All right then.” She barely gets out as she tilts the cup to her lips, and that sound comes out of her once again, alerting every nerve ending in my body to the fact that she makes extremely sexual noises when she tastes something she likes.
Fuck. Me.
It’s time to change the subject.
“All right, so how do you want to start tackling this? If you want to feel more comfortable with people, you gotta meet new ones, right?” I shuffle my feet so we’re facing the sidewalk again, and she steps in the direction we’d been walking in before .
“Yeah. I think so. Maybe go on a date? I’ve been out of the dating pool for so long, I think I’m going to need a pool noodle to help me stay afloat.” She’s serious, but I smile at the image she’s painted.
Charlie hanging onto a pool noodle.
Charlie in a bathing suit.
Charlie all wet, coming out of a pool.
Just… Charlie .
Goddamn it, am I really this far gone for this woman?
I’m not laughing anymore.
I clear my throat. “A date. Yeah. We’ll get you back in that pool in no time.” I think about a plan for a moment as she sips her coffee, thankfully without any more erotic noises. “Maybe I could be your wingman. If things aren’t feeling right, you can do what Lainey always did and tug on your left ear. I’ll come and create a reason for you to leave.” I shrug, feeling pretty good about my little plan. “I think that could work; what do you think?”
When I look down at her, she’s gripping her coffee cup tightly, letting out a slow breath. “I might be nervous knowing you were watching me. Maybe I could text you if I need an out?”
“Yeah. Of course. Would dinner at a small restaurant work? Maybe being set up with someone the girls already know, so it’s not a random person?” I sure as hell don’t know anyone I’d be willing to watch Charlie go on a date with.
“Right. Okay. That might be nice. But if we’re trying to keep them out of this, maybe we don’t ask them for suggestions on a potential date. I’m sure you know someone, right?” Well, I guess I’m about to find someone for her to date. She sips her coffee again, visibly relaxed, which is both comforting and not because I’m so very uncomfortable with her going on a date with someone. Anyone . “And you can help me prep? Help me pick an outfit and coach me on what to do? ”
I quickly reign in my thoughts and try to match her nonchalance. “Oh yeah, Pumpkin. I can coach you. I am very good at all of the date things,” I tease, smiling at her with wide eyes. “But, I’m a very hands-on instructor.”
“Bollocks! I should have known you wouldn’t make this easy on me.” She huffs out a breath. “Your ego is enormous, you know that? And don’t you dare say anything about it not being the only enormous thing about you because I will turn and walk the other way. And I won’t come back.”
My smile is a full-fledged grin now because that is exactly how I would have responded to that. A small laugh leaves Charlie, and I find myself laughing as well. It feels big, this moment. Because before whatever our new arrangement is, there wouldn’t be this lightheartedness. It’s nice.
“What does a first date usually feel like for you? Do you get nervous? Excited? Turned on?” I quirk an eyebrow, and the heat rushes to her cheeks.
“Mostly nervous because I don’t enjoy meeting new people, and I know I don’t always make the best first impression.” My mind immediately goes to the day we met, and I think she knows it based on the way her lip twitches.
“Hmm. And where had you been meeting guys previously?”
“Usually just dating apps.” She shrugs, but my eyebrows pull together at her answer.
“You go out with complete strangers you swipe right on in an app?” My voice lowers and she nods her response. “Not anymore, red.”
Fuck. That. Shit.
“What? Why not? I don’t see what the big deal is, considering millions of people do this.” She thinks she’s got me, but in my line of work, I know too much.
“I’ve seen that shit go sideways way too many times. So, you won’t be going on any more of those. Your dates will be vetted, got it?” I know I sound like a complete caveman. A scoff escapes her as her blush rises from her chest all the way to the apples of her cheeks. Whether it’s irritation or something else, I don’t know, but I don’t care. I’m not taking chances with her.
“Sure.” She tilts her head to one side and continues, “And you’ll be helping me by giving me pointers? Telling me what to giggle at and when to play footsie under the table?”
“Yeah, Chuck. I’ll help you with all the details, from dressing sexy but not slutty, to when to touch a man to let him know you’re interested. Is that what you want?” Ugh. I fucking hate this.
“Yep. That’ll do it. For now.” She unlocks her phone and opens the calendar app. “When can we get started?”
I groan inwardly, knowing this is going to completely suck, but also knowing that if this is what she wants, I’ll do it. “I’ll see what I can do to make something happen on Saturday. Are you free, then?”
She quickly adds in First date. Man TBD to her calendar and locks her phone. “As a bird. Date me up, Machado.” She wears a triumphant expression, and I laugh, though it’s completely forced.
“I’ll text some guys. I’m sure it won’t be a hard sell.” I throw her a wink, and her breath catches, eyes darting away as she bites her lip to hold back a smile. Fuck, yeah. “So, other than a restaurant, where do you like to go on dates? We should make sure you get to go somewhere you feel comfortable.”
“I feel comfortable on my couch in nothing but my old uni jumper, my favorite pair of panties, and long socks.” I choke on absolutely fucking nothing as Charlie keeps talking. “But since that’s not exactly ideal for a first date, I could settle for a quiet restaurant. Nothing too big. Somewhere where we can hear one another talk without having to yell.”
“Noted.” Wait, what did she say? I’m not sure anything made it into my brain after socks. “Anything else? ”
“No. I like it when the guy puts in some sort of effort, but that’s hard to do when we’ve never met before, so I’ll keep expectations pretty low.” She shrugs again as I feel my face twist into a scowl.
“We’re gonna work on raising your expectations, carrot cake.” Her apartment building comes into view, and I’m kind of glad for it. I’m not sure how much more of this conversation I can take before I take over and show her exactly what effort looks like.
Standing in the same spot we were in a couple of hours ago, before emotional apologies and spilled coffee; I take in Charlie for likely the last time before I have to set her up on a date. She looks at ease, and the realization is comforting. I want that. I want her comfort and her unfiltered comments.
“Thanks for the walk. And the coffee. It was amazing.” She shakes her now-empty cup, save for a couple of ice cubes. “Text me when you have more details for Saturday?”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
“Great. Oh, and if you think of anything I could help you with, just let me know.” Right, because we’re friends now? She’s light as feather on her feet, waving as she walks away. “See you soon, Machado.”
When she’s out of sight, I look up at the sky, but there’s no smile on my face this time. Just a gigantic fucking boulder sitting in the pit of my stomach.