52. He deserves this happiness. More than anyone.
52 /
he deserves this happiness. more than anyone.
charlie
There’s soft music coming from the kitchen where post-dinner clean-up is happening. After sitting at the table for at least three hours, I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten so much, but it was all delicious.
When I step into the kitchen, Ivan is shimmying to Andrea. He spins her around the middle of the kitchen, pulling her into a dance as she laughs. Their eyes immediately soften as they take one another in, falling into what must be a familiar rhythm, swaying to a song with lyrics I can’t understand but with a beautifully soft melody.
Marcelo reaches for Ana Maria, and they start to dance, then, to my absolute shock, Gustavo bows, extending his left hand to me, and for the second time today, I think of a past moment with Rafael. Without thought, I place my hand in his and Gustavo spins me quickly onto the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the kitchen.
“I have no clue what I’m doing,” I say on a laugh.
His smile is wide when he asks, “Raf hasn’t taught you yet?” He cocks his head to the side, and I shake my head. He’s taught me a lot of things, but dancing isn’t one of them. “ Well, no big deal. You’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs and pulls me a little closer, keeping his hand in the middle of my back. Right when I feel like I might be getting the steps, Gustavo spins me again, and I land against Gabriel’s chest who immediately huffs at his brother.
“Sorry about that. He probably didn’t prepare you for that spin or the partner change, right?” His voice is deep but not loud—the deepest of all the brothers—and it suits him perfectly.
“He did not. And as you can see, I’m not much of a dancer.” I wince, and he smiles kindly back at me.
“You’re fine. Just follow our lead.” He looks up momentarily, and I follow his gaze to Rafael, who’s watching us with intensity in his eyes. “I’m sure by the next family dinner, you’ll have it down.” His calm and confident tone is reassuring. “Thanks for being so great with Cece today, by the way. I really appreciate your patience with her.”
“Well, she’s wonderful. But you already know that.” I sway a little more confidently, not thinking about the steps as I go.
Gabriel smiles, pride for his daughter beaming out of his eyes as he watches her dancing with her grandfather. “She really is. Now, are you ready? To your left. Pai’s got you now.”
And then Ivan is there with a warm smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not a very good—” I start, but for the second time today he interrupts me to stop me from apologizing. How is it possible to feel so seen by people you don’t even really know?
“Nonsense. You’re doing great.” The song changes, but the beat is similar, which I’m thankful for. “I hope today hasn’t been too overwhelming. I know my family is a lot.” He chuckles, looking around at the group, who are mostly being silly as they dance together.
I shake my head because, yes, they’re a little loud, a lot affectionate, but they’re all so wonderful. “Your family is beautiful.I feel really lucky to be here.”
“Good. Good. Because you’re stuck with us now, Charlie!” He doesn’t explain; he just pulls away from me and tucks himself under our joined hands, and I’m met with Marcelo as my next dance partner.
“I bet you were hoping I’d be Raf, but we’re trying to see how angry he gets that we’re all getting to dance with you first.” His smile, so similar to Gustavo’s, makes me believe these brothers are nothing but mischief.
“Rafael? Angry? He doesn’t get angry over anything.” I chance a look at him as he dances with his mom. They’re laughing, and I wish I could take a photo.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the exception, Charlie. To just about everything for him.” Marcelo is looking at me when I meet his gaze, and that’s when I see the silliness in his face fade away. “Be good to him, yeah? He deserves this. He deserves this happiness. More than anyone.” His eyes shine with tears, and my God, I have to hold my breath to keep my own eyes from welling up. These Machado men…oof.
Marcelo stops, takes a step back, and lowers into a bow before placing my hand in another’s.
Rafael .
“Finally,” he whispers into my hair, pulling me in much closer than any of my previous dance partners, letting his hand settle a little lower on my back. “I missed you.”
I giggle at his seriousness. “I’ve been here the whole time.”
“Not close enough unless you’re right here, firecracker.” He lets go of my hand and pulls me into him with both hands until my cheek is resting on his chest and my hands are on the back of his neck. “That’s better.”
“Yeah, it is,” I agree. We stay like that for a couple of minutes, and when I let out a contented sigh, he puts a little space between us .
“Ready to see how it’s really done?” His eyebrows dance on his forehead, and the moment my hands slip down his chest, he takes them both and starts to move us around. I spin one way, then another, and nearly crash into him, but he catches me smoothly at the last second. Somehow, he moves my body exactly the way he wants, and I hardly even need to do anything but let him.
My laughter is uncontrollable and as soon as I hear Raf laughing with me, I swear I float up into the air. It’s magical. It’s wonderful.
When we finally stop, we sway nose-to-nose, and as our giggles start to die down, I take notice that the music has stopped and a new song has started. Raf’s whole family is singing Happy Birthday to him in Portuguese, his mom holding a cake in her hands topped with candles as she walks toward us. There’s clapping and cheering, and then Rafael pauses, looks at me for a long moment, then closes his eyes and blows out the candles.
Andrea gets to work on cutting the cake, and Rafael hands out the plates, with the first going to Cece, which is apparently a big deal. I get the second and hear a few oohs and aahs from the younger brothers.
I look at the slice of white cake with whipped cream and strawberries. “Is this?—”
“Strawberry shortcake… cake.” Rafael kisses my cheek. “My favorite.” He winks and returns to his task, making sure everyone has a slice. Yet again, I find my face heating as I keep my eyes on my plate. I smile at the thought that either this really is his favorite, or this is the flavor he chose especially for this year.
Just as Rafael is walking toward me with his own piece of cake, both of our phones start ringing loudly. Mine is somewhere in the house, but Raf has his in his back pocket, so he sets his plate down to look at it. He gives nothing away, his face unchanging. Then he reaches for me, takes my plate, and sets it next to his.
With gentle hands cradling my face, he smiles down at me. “Everything’s okay. It’s Maeve. Her water broke, and they’re on their way to the hospital.” Time comes to a complete standstill as I momentarily forget how to breathe. I watch as Rafael’s expression turns to worry. “Breathe for me, Charlie. Just like me.” He pulls in a deep breath, and I attempt to do the same, though my lungs won’t let me just yet. On the next breath, I get a little more, and he smiles at me. “That’s my girl. You got this.”
By the fifth breath, I’m back to normal, and the severity of the situation hits. “I have to go. But you should stay. It’s your birthday party. Stay. I’ll get a taxi or?—”
“I’m taking you. No question. You’re about to be an aunt, shortcake. For the third time!” His smile widens, and he kisses my lips three times in quick succession, in that way that soothes every nervous feeling in my body and has my hands automatically grabbing at his shirt for purchase. “You ready?”
I’m not, but I nod anyway because we have a couple of hours in the car before we get to the very fancy LA hospital where Maeve is giving birth. Rafael takes my hand and guides me out of the house. When we get to his car, Andrea is there, tucking something into the back seat while Ivan shuts the trunk.
“There are snacks and leftovers packed and enough cake for everyone in a cooler. I put some extra blankets in the back seat because hospitals are always too cold.” Andrea joins her husband beside the SUV. I have no idea when she had time to do all of this.
The rest of the family is out there, too, waiting to say goodbye to us. My heart is so full of emotions that I’m not sure what to do with them all. Raf’s family didn’t even bat an eye at this sudden change in plans, at this disruption to the party they were throwing for their son. They look happy. Completely unbothered. Just like Raf.
Without letting go of my hand, he starts to kiss his parents goodbye. Andrea’s voice is calming, just like the day I spoke to her on the phone. “It’s going to be all right, Charlie. Maeve is strong and she’s going to have her very best friend right there next to her. She’ll be so happy to have your support.” She kisses my cheek and pulls me in for a hug. I let go of Raf’s hand then so that I can hug her back.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for your kindness. For raising the most exceptional man I’ve ever known. For welcoming me here.”
“This is your home now, too, Charlie. You are always welcome,” she says into my hair, giving me one last squeeze before letting go.
With tears in my eyes, I hug Ivan, whispering another thank you to him. Then, I hug the entire Machado family, thanking every one of them. I don’t say what for, but it feels like they all know.
I wipe away the last tear as I step into Raf’s car. He’s already inside, ready and waiting to take us to the hospital. He honks as he drives away from his family, who are all standing on the driveway waving us off like we’re newlyweds going on our honeymoon, and the image feels so real, so vivid, that I have to shake my head to rattle it away, forcing myself back into the present.
“Thank you, Raf.” I twist so I can look at him and watch as the wide grin blooms on his handsome face. He takes my hand in his, bringing it up to his lips for three quick kisses, then sets it back on my lap. We drive to the hospital like that, holding hands and listening to the sounds of the tires on the road. He drives calmly and safely, as always, while my mind spins, wondering what my sister is feeling, what tonight is going to be like, whether everything will be okay.
When we arrive, he parks in a short-term spot and walks inside with me, my hand still in his. He seems to know exactly where to go and who to talk to, and I’m thankful for that because I haven’t done anything other than text Maeve to let her know I’m on the way.
We stop in front of a room, and Raf faces me, taking my other hand in his. He opens his mouth to speak, but I get to it first. “Childbirth makes me really nervous. I researched it extensively as a kid, and I just remember it being so scary. So much can go wrong, you know?”
“I get it.” He squeezes my hands. “Maeve is in good hands. Owen will be right there, and you know he’s not going to let anything happen without asking questions. And you’ll be there advocating for her. I won’t tell you everything is going to be okay because I can’t see the future, but I know that Maeve and that baby are going to be well taken care of. That no matter what happens, you’ll be okay because you have family who’s going to be here for you always. I’m here for you. Always . Okay?”
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I kiss him with everything I’ve got. I kiss him in a way that I hope tells him everything I haven’t said out loud yet.
I love you , this kiss says. I’m helplessly in love with you, and I never want to leave you , my hands say as they caress his neck. You’re the only man I’ll ever love , my body screams as it presses against his.
“Holy fucking shit!”
“Bloody hell!”
I step back, tears running down my cheeks and heart beating in my throat, to look at my sister and my best friend standing side by side with their mouths wide open. Owen is behind them, but his eyes aren’t on me. They’re on Raf, and he doesn’t look surprised; he looks pleased. He raises a hand and gives Raf a thumbs-up. Yep, definitely pleased.
“Uh, it’s not what it looks like. I mean, it is. We were kissing, but it’s not like that. It’s not what you think, I?— ”
Maeve keels over then, something between a groan and a growl leaving her body, and I know deep in my bones that I can’t think about whatever this is. I need to focus on my sister and this baby.
Owen is there, holding her hand and massaging her back.
“We need to get you back into that bed, Maevey.” His deep voice is calm, but I can see the slight panic in his eyes.
“Yep. We sure do, darling. Looks like your giant baby is ready to rip apart my minge. Let’s do this.” Maeve takes a few short steps toward the door, and I step into action, holding it open for them.
“I’ll be at your place with Adam and the kids so your mom can be here,” Rafael says to Owen.
“Thanks, man.” Owen lowers his chin and follows Maeve in. Lainey takes my hand and pulls me into the room with them. Raf doesn’t follow. I look back twice, hoping he’ll come through so I can… I don’t know, exactly. But he doesn’t.