Chapter 34 #2
My lips quivered as I looked up at my mother, my heart dropping into my stomach.
“I can’t think of you as the same person.
I just can’t. Because you are so much stronger than I thought.
” She took a shaky breath. “You went through that all on your own, and I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you and that I didn’t question what was happening.
As a mother, I should’ve known. I should’ve–” her voice broke, a tiny crack in her resolve exposing just how gutted she was.
“Sloane, you are the strongest person I know. None of us, none of us, is mad at you. None of us is placing blame on anyone except for the person responsible: Stu. This is not your fault. Do you hear me?”
I stared at my mother, confused by what she was saying. How could they not be mad at me? My eyes jumped over to Lisa, who was nodding in agreement.
“Sloane, honey.” She stood from the recliner and walked over to me, kneeling and placing one hand over my mother’s. “We are so proud of you for getting out when you could. We are not mad at you. You are not weak. Understand?”
Truthfully, no. I didn’t understand. How was it possible that they didn’t think any differently of me? Being with Rhys was the first time since Stu that I was able to look in the mirror and feel something other than disdain for myself.
I saw someone beautiful and capable. Before, I saw someone weak and pathetic. I could fake it easily; everyone always saw me as this confident badass, but inside, I was crumbling.
How could they know everything and think I wasn’t weak?
It didn’t make sense.
Jim cleared his throat. “That’s the thing about emotionally and physically abusive relationships, Sloane.
The abuser always makes you feel in the wrong.
It’s your fault they acted out, it’s your fault they’re so controlling.
But it’s not true. Someone like Stu has always been and will always be the weak one in a relationship like that.
And someone like you? Someone strong enough to see what was going on and get themselves out of it?
Someone like that will always be the strong one.
No matter what. Don’t you let the words he spoke to you live in your brain for another second. You aren’t weak, you aren’t pathetic.”
He paused, clearing his throat again. “We can’t keep our promise not to think of you differently.
But not because we pity you or think you aren’t capable or smart.
It’s because we know now just how strong you are.
We see you in a different light because you’re tough and smart, and we love you.
We aren’t mad at you. We’re here to help you. And Rhys.”
My eyes welled with fresh tears, my mind still trying and failing to understand.
They weren’t mad at me.
At all.
“But– But dad–“
Jim shook his head. “He’s not mad at you.
I promise. What he’s feeling right now has everything to do with how Stuart treated you and nothing to do with his feelings toward you.
He’s your father. You’re his daughter, and someone treated you poorly.
” He shrugged his shoulders. “He wants to murder the police chief, and that would be a pretty difficult task. He’s pissed at that, not you. ”
My mother squeezed my hand. “It’s true, honey.”
I sat still, my mind processing everything they were telling me before relief washed through my body, a sob bursting from my lips.
They loved me. They didn’t hate me or think any differently of me. In fact, they were proud of me.
They are proud of me.
“Oh, honey.” My mother’s arms wrapped around my shoulders as I sobbed, Lisa hugging me over her. “None of this is your fault. Stu is a corrupt and severely messed-up individual. This is all him.”
I felt Lisa nod in agreement, and a large amount of the stress and guilt that I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders.
It isn’t my fault.
They were right. Stu was fucked up. The things that he’d done since I broke up with him weren’t because I was provoking him or leading him on. He was just a horrible person who set his sights on me.
Lisa and my mother pulled back, my mom reaching up to wipe the tears from my face. “Did you tell Zoey?”
I shook my head. There was no way I could tell Zoey. She would be heartbroken. When she set me up with Stu, she was under the same spell as everyone else. He was nice and sweet—a gentleman. If I told her the truth about what happened, she would blame herself.
“I can’t tell her,” I admitted softly.
“Honey, she could help you.”
I had that thought once, too. Zoey worked in Internal Affairs for the Boston PD.
It’s how she knew Stu, but he’s friends with her boss.
So close that I’d actually gone on a double date with him and his last girlfriend.
And the mayor. Stu has too many big names in his pocket.
“She can’t,” I shook my head again. “He– he knows too many people.”
“You have to try,” Lisa chimed in, offering a sympathetic smile. “For my boy. Please try.”
I closed my eyes as her words struck me right in the heart, burying me in an avalanche of stress and guilt once more. She was right. Before, I always had a feeling that it didn’t matter. But now, it mattered more than anything. I nodded. “You’re right. I will. But I–I can’t go there.”
Stu would be waiting for me to come; I just knew it. He understood the love I held for Rhys; he was hoping I’d come and beg him to let Rhys go.
My mother stood and pulled her phone from her jeans pocket. “I’ll get her here. You have to be prepared to tell her everything.”
“I know,” I responded, nodding softly.
My father walked into the room, his eyes immediately finding mine. The strong and stoic man I’ve always known was broken. Tears slipped down his cheeks, and he made no attempt to wipe them away, breaking my heart even more.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
“You look like you could use a hug,” I said lightheartedly.
He didn’t want to laugh, but a small chuckle slipped past his lips. “I think so.”
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around his middle, his strong arms hugging a little too tightly around my shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I should’ve known.”
I inhaled his cologne, mixed with tobacco, a scent that would become his signature over time.
“I’m okay, Dad. There’s no way you could’ve known.
Deep down, I think I knew what he was doing, that’s why I never wanted you around him.
I think you would’ve figured it out quicker than me, and it would’ve been hard to accept.
” I shrugged in his arms. “I’m okay. I promise. ”
He squeezed me a little tighter before letting go and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Get Zoey over here. We need to bring this fucker down."