Chapter 49 – Jordan
FORTY-NINE
JORDAN
Jaxon pats the bench next to him, my hairbrush in his lap, elastics looped around his pinky. “Come, sit. Your pacing is freaking me out.”
I’m nervous but sink down with my back to him.
Like he’s done before every game, Jaxon snuck into the space designated for me to get ready. Most of the season, it’s the women’s locker room, but today it’s a greenroom the arena uses for concerts.
With the low hum of the playlist he made me for my birthday, he brushes my hair. “One or two?” he asks, before muttering, “Please say one.”
I tip my head back to look into his mossy green eyes. Our away jerseys always make them stand out. He smiles down at me, and I capture a mental photo of it. “One.”
Jaxon divides my hair, starting at the roots, into three sections, weaving them over and under one another, carefully picking up more hair as he goes.
“You can be rougher,” I start to tell him.
He jokes, “Oh, I know.”
I roll my eyes, not feeding into his amusement. He drops the braid, restarting, and I realize the first one was on purpose.
I wasn’t nervous when we woke up this morning, but during morning skate, my anxiety around this game imploded. On our way to team lunch, I passed Luka in the lobby, a menacing smirk set on his face.
“Done.” Jaxon runs his hands over the braid, placing it over a shoulder.
“Do you think Cooper’s going to be upset about us?” I ask out of the blue. We never got around to telling him after our away series in Ohio; and after another week passed by, we both settled back into our routine of sneaking around. But after last night, I’ve been thinking about it.
“Truthfully, yeah.” He spins me to face him. “But we can worry about that later. Let’s win tonight, then we can figure out telling him for real this time. Yeah?”
“Okay.” It comes out meekly. At least my mind is racing about something other than our game.
“Hey.” Jaxon cups my cheek. “It doesn’t matter how he reacts, at least not to me, because it isn’t going to change the fact that I love you.”
I think my brows reach my hairline.
Jaxon loves me?
“Shit. I didn’t mean for that to come out now…or like that.” He groans, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to plan some romantic gesture. I created a new Pinterest board and everything,” Jaxon rambles on, and I put my fingers over his mouth.
“I love you too.”
He smiles, and I match it. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You make it hard not to love you.”
“I mean…”
“You’re pretty great. We know.” I play with his jersey, tug him in for a soft kiss. “I mean it though. Loving you was unexpected—I think from the first day we met I started falling for you, started forgetting what life was like with out you.”
“You’ll never have to remember now.” Jaxon cups my face. “I want to love you how you’ve loved.”
“That’s—”
“Impossible to achieve, but I’m going to try every day. I love you, Jordan. I’m in love with you.” She smiles and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. “But…”
“What?”
“It’s supposed to rain tomorrow. Could you go stand in it and let me chase you down, and we can pretend it’s the first time I’m telling you?”
“Sure, but only because I love you.” I could get used to those three words—hearing them, saying them, feeling them.
We stand, a knock on the door signaling it’s game time.
Jaxon helps me put on my helmet, adjusting my braid. Before we reach the ice, Jaxon holds the door open for me and looks at me with a devious smirk. “I knew you were staring at me for too long on move in day to only be my friend.”
“Friends that are in love?” I ask him.
“Best friends that are in love.”
The first period is fast and physical. Standings will oscillate over the next three months before the conference tournament, but it didn’t stop either of us from coming out hot. We’re tied in the standings and ranked in the top ten across the nation.
Cooper, Jaxon, and I skate back on the ice for the second period. We cross the center line to take our spots. My brother positions himself for the face off. Jaxon is to his right, and I’m to his left.
Wisconsin’s first line makes their way to the opposite side. Luka finds his spot across from Cooper, lowering his stick, knees bending, his dominant foot slightly in front of the other, and a cocky look plastered to his face.
He turns his head in my direction, shoulders bounce with a laugh before he returns his attention to Cooper. “Did you know,” he starts, and my pulse stills. Luka wouldn’t. Not now. Not mid-game.
Another menacing laugh glides across the ice.
“Luka, don’t.” I force my tone to be as threatening as possible.
“I don’t think it’s fair that he’s being left out of the fun,” Luka spits. “Did you know that your best friend is fucking your sister?”
Cooper’s gaze whips to me, then Jaxon.
“Guess not. That kiss a month ago, yeah, it wasn’t just a kiss for charity as they probably convinced you.
They’ve been sneaking around your back the entire season.
Do you know where she was last night? Dinner with him and my family.
I bet it’s not the first time this season they’ve snuck off together. ”
“Stop talking, Valentini.”
“Maybe he’s the one who helped her make the team. Maybe she’s sleeping with him as payment.”
“Stop talking,” my brother growls, brows furrowed and jaw tight. The grip on his stick is dangerously tight. I’m worried he might snap it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Luka goes to say something else, but it’s Jaxon who speaks this time, skating closer. “Shut the fuck up, Luka.”
“You don’t get to talk either,” Cooper seethes.
I suck in a sharp inhale, the air in the rink pungent as it fills my lungs.
The ref skates to the center, dropping the puck to start the second period. Cooper wins the face off but quickly loses it when he doesn’t fire off a pass to Jaxon or me, both open on the wings.
He skates by me as we race back on defense. “Is it true?” He raises his voice so that I can hear him over the crowd and the sound of the boards rattling as two players collide into them. “Are you two sleeping together?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Yes or no, Jords.”
“Yes.”
He shakes his head, blowing out a breath before he pivots, receiving a pass from Dawson. On the offense, this time he doesn’t negate our plays, passing to Jaxon, who moves swiftly behind the net before returning the puck to Cooper waiting backside.
Wisconsin’s goal stops his shot.
During our line switch, I pass by Luka, intentionally bumping his shoulder. “Was that necessary?”
“Was it necessary to out us to my brother?”
“If your relationship is as great as you think it is, why wouldn’t he know? Were you embarrassed by him, or was it the other way around? He didn’t want anyone to know about him and the ice queen?”
“Neither.”
“Whatever, babe.” I follow Luka’s gaze to the scoreboard. We’re down by one. “Might wanna stay on the bench if you want your team to win.”
I ignore him, throwing a leg over the board, then the other. I only acknowledge Luka again later that period when we score for the second time, taking the lead. A quick head nod at the scoreboard and flick of my brows.
During the third, our line is back out on the ice. Luka makes eye contact with me from across the ice as I quickly pick my head up to scan my surroundings.
There are two things I’m certain of right now: I’m traveling down the ice in a breakaway, controlling the puck. Then I’m not.
From across the ice, Luka changes direction. Digging his skates into the ice, he accelerates to zip around one of his teammates and two of mine.
I push myself faster, maintaining possession of the puck as I whip toward Wisconsin’s goal. Their goalie shifts, left and right, trying to gauge if I’m going to pass or take a shot.
But I never get a chance to do either.
Within a blink, my legs are clipped out from under me.
I try to regain balance, but fail. Luka’s body is there, unrelenting and ruthless, stick scooping the puck a second before I collide with the ice.
Helmet bouncing off of it, the impact has my visor cutting into my skin.
Cold seeps into my jersey as I skid across the cut-up surface, hitting the boards.
Between the roar of an upset crowd, I hear his laugh echo in my ears. It harmonizes with the ringing. Words break through, breaking me on their descent.
“And you wanted to play with the boys.” Luka laughs again. “Mistake.” He says something else, but it’s drowned out by the crowd.
I try to get up, but it feels like someone filled my body with rocks. Heavy.
Am I sinking into the ice?
“Jordan,” I hear Jaxon call to me, begging me to get up, but whoever stopped me from getting up on my own is heeding the same warning to him.
All I can do is roll my head to the side, fighting to open my eyes and just look at him. If I see him, I know I’ll be okay or that this is just a dream.
Flickering lights are all I see. Bright and fluorescent.
Or maybe that’s me.
My eyes are heavy, my mind too. A darkness drifts closer, shackling me to it and dragging me down into its depths.
And I let it.