Barbie #2
“Oh, it’s going great,” I mutter, and my fingers are already flying across the keyboard at record speed.
“All fifteen of my live reports were sent on time to Carter’s team.
I did”—my teeth grit while I take a screenshot—“notice, however, that QA has yet to send back any update on their release candidates for the third quarter.”
“Hold on.” Carter’s mic is no longer muted. Pity. “We have been working on our release candidates—”
“Just like your SOPs, right?” I almost want to turn on the camera so he can see the look on my face.
“And I was going to explain to Barb here before our scrum call why we haven’t sent in the roadmap yet.”
Because there isn’t any. “Well, Carter, you and I both know the only way my team can onboard any new projects is if you give us a brief overview of what you want us to work on—”
“I know how it works, Barb.” I can hear the disdain under the guise of pleasantry he’s adopted. “I’ve been here just as long as you have, which is why I know that it’s best to play it by ear with upcoming projects our teams will be collaborating on.”
Because you’re trying to get me fired. “I would rather my team be prepared ahead of time.”
“And I don’t want QC to waste their time or resources on a project that might end up delayed or possibly shelved,” he hedges. “Again.”
My left eye twitches, and I glare at his profile picture. “Listen—”
“Frank’s pinging me. I need to drop this call,” Ed cuts in. “Carter, message me QA’s updates. Barbie, keep up the great work, and let me know what’s going on with the release updates.”
“I just sent you the updates,” Carter says, proving that he can be efficient if he chooses to be.
“Wonderful. I’ll talk to you two later.” Just as I’m about to say goodbye, he quickly chimes in, “Oh, and before I forget. Frank and I had a call the other day, and, as you both know, I’ll be out of the office next month for the big conference.”
“Yes,” I say, because I know for a fact that Ed and all the other higher-ups fly out all the way to the East Coast for the opportunity to schmooze and network their way into bringing in more clients to our insurance firm.
Well, it’s what they’ve always said in the two years I’ve been here. I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s just an all-expense-paid trip disguised as a work event, but I’ve never minded it one bit.
The three days the higher-ups are gone have usually meant fewer random assignments tossed my way, fewer meetings, and, most importantly, fewer opportunities to hear about sports, hiking, or breweries.
Save for the holidays and my weekends off, these three days are what I’ve been looking forward to the most. Not the lame employee appreciation week where we get recognized for our contributions to the company before they tell us they can’t afford another proper raise, but these blessed three work days.
“Well,” Ed says brightly, and I bring my mug to my lips. “Change of plans.”
“You’re not going to South Carolina anymore?” Carter guesses.
“Oh, no,” Ed says with a laugh. “I’m still going. The missus and I have already booked reservations at this adorable bed-and-breakfast she found online. Frank and I were talking about B&E and how we want to help guide your journey here at this company.”
My brow raises as I take a sip of my lukewarm coffee. Why does it sound like he’s about to make an investment pitch to rope us into buying skincare from his wife’s multi-level marketing scheme again?
It’s either that or he’s preparing to soften the blow, which I wouldn’t be surprised about.
There’s been a massive layoff from the retail side in December due to the challenging market, as they always say during the virtual town meetings, and corporate has been restructuring since then.
People have been shuffled around. Or they’re no longer here.
Believe it or not, Team B&E used to be Team BDE.
For the past year, Carter and I have been fighting in the emails to divvy up Darren’s projects because the workload is insane, and I refuse to take up more than my fair share, as I still have a QC team to lead.
As Ed always says to me during our one-on-one calls: stand your ground, Barbie. Don’t let them push you around.
And I refuse to let Carter push me around and railroad me into taking on projects beyond my team’s scope. I lead a team full of analysts, not engineers. We look for errors from data entry clerks and report them.
His team, on the other hand, works hand-in-hand with devs, tech support, and configuration teams. Therefore, he should take on those projects. Besides, shouldn’t the idea of bossing people around bring warmth to that black lump of coal in his heart?
“Should we be concerned?” Carter’s voice breaks my train of thought.
“Not at all,” Ed says. “The only thing you should be concerned about is how much sunscreen you’ll need to bring. Both of you.”
There’s a long, awkward pause. I think he’s expecting Carter and me to excitedly ask what’s going on, but, for once, it appears we’re on the same page.
“Frank and I have decided,” he finally continues, “you two are coming with us to the conference next month. I’ll provide more details later. Frank just pinged me again.”
He drops the call and leaves me staring at the profile picture next to mine in stunned silence.
I thought the whole purpose of working remotely was that you’d never have to do anything outside the comfort of your own home.
I know some of the employees at Green Checks Insurance are hybrid, like Ed, or work at one of their four main campuses across the continental US.
I only agreed to work for the company after I was told I’d never have to do anything in person.
I don’t do well with big groups of people.
Even so, does he not realize how expensive flights are? Especially if they’re booked now? At the last minute? And July is such a busy time for tourism, too. I don’t even want to entertain the idea of how pricey they’re going to be.
“So.” Carter’s voice drags my attention to his grainy profile picture once more. “Before we hop onto our scrum call, we should really set up some time to discuss the cover sheets.”
My nails dig into the flesh of my palms the second after I mute my mic. I cannot stand this guy over the freaking computer as it is. There’s no way I’m going to stand three days networking with Satan’s heir apparent in person.