Barbie
There’s an audible click. My name rolls off his tongue in his warm cadence when I blurt out, “I saw a plane and thought of you, Pilot.”
“What?”
My face goes hotter than the ongoing heatwave, and I tuck my hair behind my ear and look skyward for a beat to regain composure. “Don’t make me say it again, Ethan.”
“Bee.” He chuckles. “I learned how to fly helicopters.”
“Oh. Well. You know I live in LA now. Do you know how many helicopters I saw on my drive this morning alone? I’d have to switch to texting you or I’d be calling you all the time.”
“Miss me?”
“Yeah.” My response comes so quickly that I blink in surprise. “It’s not like I’ve been calling you every day.”
“Or watching infomercials every night.”
I beam. And awkwardly make eye contact with a colleague right then and there, who smiles back at me and waves. Hiding my phone from Rob’s line of sight and masking the embarrassment burning through me with a light grin, I shuffle quickly to my car.
“Oh my God,” I gasp. “Ethan, I’m gonna have to move to Alaska now and change my name. I accidentally made a super-long eye contact with Rob.”
“Who’s Rob?”
“This guy who works with me,” I grumble. “He smells like ham and burps more than Paul ever did during calls.”
“Paul does burp a lot during calls,” Ethan groans. “Why would you bring this up? Now it’ll be the only thing I’ll be able to focus on.”
“Okay, it’s not so bad,” I say. “Just do what I do and only reach out to him via email.”
Ethan snorts. “Any advice on how to handle Joe?”
“Lower your expectations, and you’re less likely to be annoyed by him when he asks for more time to brush up on SOPs so he’s quote-unquote refreshed.”
“Christ,” Ethan interjects. “He said that this morning.”
“Word of the wise. Don’t rely on Joe for anything.”
“Yeah. I think even Ed finally caught on,” Ethan says. “He must have buyer’s remorse ’cause you should have seen the emails this morning. And witness the update meeting. Joe erased a month’s worth of data from one of the post-production reports.”
I suck air between my teeth. “No. How did that even happen?”
“I don’t know, Bee. But I’ve never seen Ed that angry before.”
“You didn’t bro it up for him? Throw in some baseball scores?”
“Nah,” Ethan says. “I only looked out for the company chatbot.”
Despite myself, warmth unfurls in my chest and spreads across my cheeks. I catch my reflection in the rearview mirror, spotting the pleased curl to the edge of my lips. “Only me?”
“Only you.”
My grin widens, slipping when I hear someone honk behind me.
“What was that?” The concern in Ethan’s voice is palpable.
“Someone wants my parking spot, and they’re super impatient about it. Anyway, I should go. I’m supposed to pick up Bell. We have dinner at Vincent and Betty’s tonight. But, uh, yeah. I’ll text you about all the helicopters I see when I get there.” I pause. “Are we still on for farming tonight?”
“Raincheck? Lara asked me to help pick up this desk she saw listed online—”
“No worries,” I say, then frown at the side-view mirror when the driver honks again. “This chatbot will text you later.”
“Looking forward to it.”
Barbie: I’m gonna head out soon. In case you don’t hear from me later tonight, I’m either stuck in LA traffic still or stuck in LA traffic still
Barbie: So goodnight :)
Unphotogenic Pilot: 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100
Unphotogenic Pilot: I’m sure you can easily decipher that
Unphotogenic Pilot: In case your software is on the fritz, it’s chatbot for goodnight
Barbie: Wow. You think you are SO funny
Unphotogenic Pilot: 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
Unphotogenic Pilot: It’s chatbot for yes I am
Barbie: I’ll have to take your word for it, Ethanol
“Oh, what’s this?” Vincent’s voice startles me and causes me to nearly drop my phone. “Giggling, smiling big, and—wearing her locket?”
Betty looks at her fiancé, then whips her head toward me, her eyes bright with equal parts accusation and surprise. “Barbie, do you have a boyfriend?”
Bell bursts into laughter while I gape at them. Now I’m frowning at her as well. “She’s going to tell you they’re just friends, which is also shocking.”
My scowl deepens. Maybe I should reconsider wanting to live close to my sisters.
“Who’s Barbie just friends with?” Vincent asks.
“Ignore her,” I begin. “Bell’s just super nosy—”
“It’s Carter!” Bell shrieks.
“The sheets guy?” Betty and Vincent chorus at the same time. Bell immediately cackles and doubles over, clutching her stomach.
My lips press together. I’m not sure how to feel about everyone in this room knowing him as the sheets guy.
“She calls him every night, talking about her day,” Bell supplies. “They watch TV shows and movies together. They even have a farm together.”
“When did this happen?” Vincent asks.
“Ignore her,” I repeat. “She’s making it sound much more than it is.”
“It’s okay if you’re with him, Barbie,” Betty says gently. “We’re happy for you—”
“I’m not with him.” My stomach twists as the words ring in my ears. “I’m not.” My eyes start to prickle when they have no reason to. “Can we stop talking about him?”
“Of course,” Betty responds without missing a beat. “Let me wrap up some leftovers for you and Bell. Mind helping me look for the containers?”
Betty knows where everything in this apartment is, down to each fleck of dust. I know she’s giving me an out, which I graciously take.
Inside the kitchen, Betty rummages through the cupboard on the left for her glass containers while I busy myself with the pile of dishes in the sink.
“You know we’re not piling—”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to answer,” she says after a minute has passed. “Did Carter reject you?”
“No. I was the one who told him I don’t do long-distance relationships.”
“But you’ve done it before,” my sister reminds me.
“Yeah, and how did that end?” I retort, then wince. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Betty says, giving me a reassuring smile. It’s just like my older sister to take everything in stride. When Bell and I broke the news to her that we were moving out, she didn’t break into tears as we had assumed she would.
She simply said she was happy for us. And I know she genuinely meant it. Bell did check with Vincent through our secret group chat we use twice a year to plan gifts for Betty’s birthday and Christmas. He confirmed she was fine. Sad, but overall excited for us.
“Warner was an asshole,” Betty goes on. “A colossal asshole who broke up with you at your wedding rehearsal.”
My chest becomes tight as my breathing shallows. Despite my best efforts to bleach that awful night from my memories, I still remember every little detail.
My ex-fiancé complaining to our friends about how I was crying yet again.
My heart breaking when my so-called best friend laughed and called me a dramatic attention seeker as always.
Warner and I getting into an argument halfway through the rehearsal dinner when I reminded him I was sad because I wanted my parents there and he said, “Everyone dies. It’s, like, inevitable.
Get over it already. It’s not like they died last week. They’ve been dead for four years.”
I started crying again. He said he couldn’t do this anymore and stormed out of the restaurant after loudly announcing to everyone not to fucking bother showing up for the wedding.
Then everyone wouldn’t stop crowding me while I went through a panic attack, and it was one of the most excruciating moments of my life.
It was just like the time at Mom and Dad’s wake when everyone swarmed me, while I broke down into tears and hyperventilated, and blocked me from exiting.
I don’t remember how I got out of there—out of both situations.
I just remember feeling myself drown under all the attention, then shunting back to reality in the comfort of Betty’s room.
“He couldn’t even give me left at the altar.” Despite my best efforts to crack a joke, my voice breaks. When I see her twisting her engagement ring, guilt expands in my chest. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to push your wedding back again—”
“We won’t,” Betty says. “Vincent and I will get married, even if we have to march down to the courthouse.”
“Okay, because I feel really guilty about being the reason why you two haven’t gotten married yet.”
My sister frowns. “Barbie, it’s not your fault we haven’t tied the knot yet. Vincent and I wanted to make sure we could afford the wedding we want and have everyone we love there.”
“So you’re not delaying your wedding because of what happened at mine?”
“No. I know you’re happy for us. And I know you would have backed out of the wedding party if it was too much for you.”
“I wouldn’t back out of my own sister’s wedding party.”
“Okay, I would have removed you from my wedding party if I knew you couldn’t handle it.” Her gaze lands on my face. “That said, Warner is an asshole,” she repeats. “He wasn’t good for you. He literally bailed on you shortly after Mom and Dad died for his mental health.”
“I didn’t mind,” I say softly. “Not the bailing part, but his moving to Massachusetts meant my apartment had a room for Bell, and she didn’t have to be uprooted during her last two years of high school,” I remind her.
“Vincent and I would have moved to Westminster for Bell,” Betty says.
“I know you guys would,” I say.
“That’s not the point,” she continues. “Just because things didn’t work out with Warner doesn’t mean it won’t work out with someone else.”
“It’s not just that,” I interject. “I need the physical intimacy. I want to be able to come home and see him. Or be able to hop into my car and drive over to Ethan’s apartment—”
“So his name’s Ethan?”
My eyes widen. Heat pools on my cheeks. Unlike Bell, who’ll be ruthless with her teasing, Betty is kind and doesn’t resort to the same behavior. It’s why I’m not even hesitating with the words I say next.
“He’s funny. His level of humor is so much like mine.
He’s so sweet and dorky and protective,” I confess.
“But… he lives in Oregon. His whole life is there. I don’t see myself there.
I have my own life here. And… I want to get married, settle down, and have kids in the next few years—which is impossible to achieve with a guy who doesn’t want to leave Oregon. ”
“Are you sure—”
“I’m pretty sure. He wants to be near his family, and I can understand why, given everything they’ve been through,” I whisper. “And he’s buying a house there. As much as I like him… it’s just not meant to be.”
Betty sets down the container in her hands and pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry, Barbie.”
“It’s okay.” I sniffle hard, burying my face into her neck as she strokes my back. “I’ll be fine.”
“Can I give you some advice?” When I nod, she continues. “You should give it a shot and go after him.”
“Are you saying I should abandon my internship and conservation program and move to Oregon?”
“No. I think you should give a long-distance relationship a shot,” she says. “It might not end in futility. It might actually work out. Things change all the time. Years ago, Vincent and I planned on moving to San Francisco—”
“You guys did?” My brows furrow. I guess it makes sense. Vincent’s family is spread out across the Bay Area.
“But now we don’t see ourselves leaving Malibu,” she continues. “Vincent’s working for a firm he’s proud to work for. We’re close to our friends. We adore this neighborhood.”
“Okay, but it’s hard not to think about the inevitable demise when we both want different things,” I whisper. “How are we supposed to be in a relationship, long-distance or not, if we want different things?”
“I hate to point out the obvious,” Bell calls out, and I step out of Betty’s arms as she approaches us from the entryway. “But Barbie… You need to face the facts. You’re already in a long-distance relationship with him.”