Ethan
My alarm jolts me awake. I’m experiencing what can only be déjà vu when I feel pressure on my neck and shoulder. Vision bleary, it takes a few seconds for my panic to subside when I realize there’s an orange tabby conked out on top of my bare chest.
I don’t know if Barbie knows this, but she sleeps a lot like her cat—body sprawled out in a position that has to be uncomfortable for literally any other human being.
Glancing over, the other half of the bed is empty. Barbie’s not here.
Pie goes limp in my hands when I lift him off of me, meowing pitifully when I lay him down on the mattress. After scratching him under the chin for a minute, I head out of the bedroom and stop short when I see Barbie dancing. Badly.
In the kitchen, while wearing my shirt that goes to her thighs, Barbie is humming the jingle to some old commercial for structured settlement as she shimmies her shoulders in front of the stove.
She startles when I make my way over.
“You’re making pancakes?”
“Unless you want granola bars for breakfast,” Barbie says, sighing blissfully when I tuck my arms around her waist and sneak a kiss to the crown of her head. “We’re having some pancakes with fruit. Bell and I usually go grocery shopping on Sunday—”
“Pancakes are more than enough,” I say, eyeing the plate of mangoes she’s already sliced up. Then I pass off a snort as a yawn when she flips the pancake over in the skillet, and I see a squiggly smiley face on it. “I could have helped—”
“It’s fine. I wanted to surprise you. Food prepared by someone else always tastes better,” she says.
“So, when you make me a five-course meal later today—” A shriek erupts from her when I gently scrape my teeth on the tip of her ear.
“All right, all right. I’ll settle for homemade pistachio ice cream, where you hand-select each—” She dissolves into giggles while she tries to wriggle out of my arms, laughing harder as I nip her ear again.
Amusement courses through my veins when I get a better look at the stack of pancakes. She’s written B&E Dream Team on the one on the top that’s shaped like a heart. “How about I buy you donut holes later?”
“You drive a hard bargain, Ethan.” She leans into me. “I can’t wait to do things and have some fun with you.”
“Some fun like last night?” I ask, squeezing her hips.
She gasps and playfully swats my hand. “Ethan, my sister is asleep in her room.”
“Not that kind of fun,” I say. “We should make the most of today before I drive back to Oregon tomorrow morning.”
“Do you have anything in mind?”
“I can think of a few things we could check out.”
“Ooh. Are you—Wait.” She turns her head and frowns. “Are you about to suggest hiking?”
“I cannot believe we’re hiking.” She grimaces as she hops over the thick undergrowth that has taken over the pathway. Sunlight splinters through the trees around us. “We better have some more fun before you leave, Ethanol Tedious Carson.”
“You know I’m coming back, Barbie—I don’t know your middle name—Ho.”
“I don’t have a middle name.” I glance over and catch the soft, secret smile touching her lips. “And you’re not coming back until a year from now.” Before I can interject, she forges on. “But… I’m… uh… willing to give long distance a shot if it’s just a year apart, max.”
My crooked grin only grows. “I’m willing to give long distance a shot, too, if I can visit a cute marine biologist during holidays, certain weekends where I’ll even take a Friday off, and birthdays.”
Her eyes go wide and bright as an unbridled beam settles across her face. “Let me know if you’re invited to next year’s conference. I’ll try to clear my schedule around then, so we can play hooky again.”
“Oh. Funny you should mention that,” I say. “Did you know—”
My phone starts buzzing, and we exchange glances while I retrieve it.
“That’s not Ed firing you for ditching the conference, is it?” Barbie whispers.
“It’s Lara.”
I answer the video call and get a good glimpse of my sister’s forehead and curly hair as she gripes, “Your instructions are terrible. How do you turn on the A/C?”
“There are step-by-step—”
“I followed them, but it’s not turning on.” The screen changes. Her phone is angled toward the thermostat where I’ve taped a laminated index card with thorough instructions beside the device. “Help me before Mom complains again—”
“I’m not the only one complaining,” Mom announces in Spanish, and the camera cuts to her face. “But it’s getting warm, and JoJo has been panting nonstop.”
“Just press that button,” I say.
My sister clicks her tongue. “There are many buttons, dumbass.”
Barbie snorts, smothering her laughter with her palm. My narrowed gaze darts toward her for a split second. Her little goose honk slips free, and she claps her other hand across her face. I break into a grin.
“What the hell was that?” Lara asks.
“It’s just Barbie—”
“Barbie? As in sweet and funny and I’m in—”
“Press that button over there, on the bottom right corner,” I interject, but Lara’s no longer interested in the thermostat. The screen has switched back to her wide-eyed face.
“Where are you?” she exhales. “I thought you were just hiking one of Dad’s favorite trails—When did you leave?”
“What’s going on?” Mom asks.
“Ethan’s in California,” Lara gasps. “With Barbie.”
Mom’s head appears in the frame. “I want to see who this Barbie is,” she declares. “The things your sister told me about her terrify me.”
I stifle a groan. “You’re going to scare her away,” I reply in Spanish, mimicking her tone.
She makes an offended noise. “This is like you, Ethan. Always keeping things from me. Why must I always be the last to know about my son’s life?”
“Yeah, Ethan,” Lara teases. “Why do you do this to her?”
I glare witheringly at my phone. My sister’s evil grin broadens in response.
“I don’t mind meeting your family,” Barbie murmurs.
My mother, who’s selectively deaf and strangely never hears me when I tell her she cannot pick fruit from the neighbor’s yard multiple times, somehow manages to pick up Barbie’s barely audible whisper. “See? She doesn’t mind meeting us. I like her already.”
I fight my sigh as Barbie sidles over to me. “Hi there. Ethan has said such wonderful things about you both.”
Lara snorts. “That’s a fucking lie, but I’ll allow it.”
Somehow, between Mom’s string of incoherent squealing, she manages, “You two will make beautiful children.”
“Mom.” I pinch the bridge of my nose while Barbie presses her lips together, burying her laugh.
“She’s beautiful,” Mom continues.
“Yeah. You’re punching above your weight,” Lara stage-whispers. “Any chance she’s blind or—”
“Actually, I think he’s really cute,” Barbie stage-whispers back.
“Okay, so she’s got no sense of taste,” Lara teases. “We all have our flaws.”
“I’m going to hang up on you two now,” I announce. “Goodbye forever—”
“Wait. The thermostat—”
“The bottom right button. Press it. Goodbye.” I end the video call before my family can do anything else to encourage my desire to move out of Oregon earlier than intended.
I barely look Barbie’s way when my phone begins buzzing again. This time, it’s just Mom calling me, which I answer after flashing Barbie an apologetic look.
“Ethan, I want to apologize. For what I said on Sunday. I thought you wanted space after how hard I was on you.”
“It’s okay, Mom. It was the wake-up call I needed.”
“Next time, will you at least tell your mother if you’re going to run off to California—”
“I thought you liked my adventurous spirit.”
“My God, no. You were a menace. I could barely sleep when you were in college. Always running around. Nearly breaking your bones jumping everywhere—”
A groan breaks free. “I did a perfectly safe cliff jumping once, and you bring it up every time you’re mad at me—”
“Cliffs exist to be looked at, not jumped off of,” she argues. “I will get off the call now so you can spend time with your beautiful girlfriend.” She pauses for a significant beat. “I’m glad you’re not hiding her from me anymore.”
I muster a sigh. “We only started dating.” I reflexively pull my ear away from my phone before she launches into a high-pitched squeal.
“It all has to start somewhere,” she says finally. “Enjoy your time with her.”
“I will. I’ll see you when I get back.” I look skyward. “And press the bottom right button. It’ll turn the A/C on. I’ll send Aaron over if you need me to—”
“Your sister and I have it handled.”
“Yeah,” I say roughly. “I know you do.”
After exchanging goodbyes, I turn to glance at Barbie. “Come on. Let’s finish this trail so we can pick up some donut holes for you.”
“Are you trying to win me over?” Her hands fly to her chest. “I don’t know, Ethan. Your farmer literally built an aquarium. The bar is set quite high.”
I huff out a chuckle. “How about I win you over with a scoop of pistachio ice cream?”
“Just a scoop?”
“And an assortment of fancy cheese,” I say. “How does that sound? A block of aged gouda is waiting just for you under a cardboard box—”
“Ooh, I’ve been reminiscing about the wine and cheese tour—” Her eyes immediately snap to mine, narrowing into slits. “Did you just say cardboard box?”
“Doesn’t that sound delicious?”
“Like a mousetrap?” she says slowly, her finger emphasizing each syllable with flourishes. “And just like that, you owe me three scoops of pistachio ice cream.”
“And how many blocks of cheese?” Her nose scrunches as I grin. “Should we go all out and make a charcuterie board while at it?”
“How about…” She inches closer, pressing her palm flat against my chest, a coy smile gracing her lips.
“We stick with three scoops of pistachio ice cream, and you come with me to my sister’s wedding next month instead?
” Her expression turns serious. “I would like you there if you want to come. I know this is new, but it would mean so much—”
“Barbie, I’ll go with you to your sister’s wedding.”
“This time, you’ll fly here, right?” Relief and happiness shine brightly in her eyes. “I mean, as sweet as it was that you drove—what was it—twenty hours to come see me, a flight here is a whopping fraction of that. Three hours at most.”
“You just want me here earlier.”
“Of course I do. I want all the time I can get with you.”
I don’t fight my grin. It would have been an automatic losing battle. “I want all the time I can get with you, too.”
“Does this mean you’re flying back to LA next week?” she tries. “I’m kidding.”
“I can’t do next week, but after your sister’s wedding, there’s a slew of holidays coming up.”
“You don’t want to celebrate them with your mom and sister?”
“I might not be able to get out of Christmas,” I say. “Mom’s obsessed with having Lara and me there for Mass, but New Year’s? I’ll hop on the first flight out to LA.”
Barbie breaks into laughter. “You want to fly out to one of the busiest airports on a popular holiday?” Her smile broadens as she loops her arm around my neck. “Fly out to the one near my hometown. There’s this diner nearby you have to try.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet,” I say. “I haven’t even bought any tickets yet. How about we finish our hike and circle back to plans for the New Year later?”
She stares at me, unamused. “I’ll pencil us in for a thirty-minute call on Monday to discuss this further.” Then her expression shifts, her eyes soft and dreamy. “I really can’t believe you’re here.”
“And I’ll be back before you know it.”