Out of Office

Chapter Twenty-One

Genevieve

Sleepiness threatened to take me away, but this conversation with Adrián was meaningful. Now that we had both established what was essential for us, we needed to move forward, but apparently, he had one more thing to say.

He tensed up below me in preparation for what he had to share, but I was so tired I didn’t brace myself.

“I...know A.D. Nicholson...shit, there is no way to ease into this. I’m A.D. Nicholson. Adrián David Nicolas.”

I should have braced myself.

“What?!” I screamed, breaking the soothing vibe we had created together.

I attempted to get off of him, but he held on to my hips as I watched him, stunned. Adrián locked his jaw, but his eyes...they pleaded for me to understand. Something about how he watched me softened me enough to relax in his lap again.

“I’ve told you how I used to be a workaholic...”

“Yeah, but I guess I always assumed it was something to do with transportation or even hospitality, and that you had pivoted to what you do now.” How oblivious was I not to even ask? This man had the ability to scramble my thoughts and my acumen. Around him, I was a lovesick girl with no malice.

Naive, that is what he made me. I knew we had a lot of past to still explore together—I didn’t expect him to regurgitate all of his life events in a night or two—but this was a very significant thing to leave out. Why would he keep something like this from me? We’d been nothing but open with each other; I thought everything we built together was on a solid foundation of mutual trust but now...now I didn’t know what to think. What to expect next.

“It’s not on you, and I never meant for this to become a thing. I just... I don’t talk about my career that often, actually never.”

I paused, flabbergasted at his explanation. He didn’t expect this to become a thing?

A thing?

He was the man I’ve been searching for, for weeks. I should have known; how did I not put two and two together?

“Why the pseudonym?” Maybe if I focused on small details, I would avoid the encroaching fear mingled with anger threatening to take over.

“I went to school for architecture for my parents. I wanted to redesign Villa Bonita. You haven’t seen pictures of what it was, but it was a mess, falling apart. It needed so much work. And we didn’t have the money. I’d always had an artistic side, loved to draw, and I had a good eye for design and was handy. It all made sense in my eighteen-year-old mind. Then it took me years to finish my studies. Years because I kept taking time off to help in Villa Bonita or help Claudia and Mario with the kids. My grandpa, Dad’s dad, was the one to encourage me to finish. He had me stay at his place in the city to focus. By the time I was close to graduating, he had passed, and... I wanted to honor him, so I started signing my designs with our family’s old last name and my first two initials. It stuck, and those designs got me in at my firm.”

“Oh...but why...why the secrecy?”

“There is none, at least not in my circles. My old colleagues have been respectful of my need to leave my career because they know what happened. I think people made the situation more mysterious than it was.”

“What happened?” I rested my hand on his chest, where I could feel his heartbeat the strongest. Whatever it was...it was life-changing. I could see it in his haunted gaze. My fear hadn’t diminished, but it had taken a different color.

What about us two hadn’t allowed him to open up about this? I had to trust we could avoid something like this in the future. Here I was thinking of an us, while finding out he kept something so big from me. I really was gone.

“I had a very important presentation of the Panamá Tropics project that evening...it was my birthday, and I usually went to Colón, but I decided to stay in the city. Too much work. It had become the norm. I hadn’t been in Colón for months. The only time was when they came to Panamá City. Mom, Pops, everyone would pack up the car and head to my place. They decided to surprise me. Two cars in a caravan on that dark road...” His voice broke, and he shuddered under my touch. Suddenly I didn’t want him to say it; I knew what was coming.

“Oh, Adrián.”

“Yeah. My dad lost control of their car. We aren’t certain how. Chichi was riding with them, but miraculously he was okay. All the damage was in the front of the car. They were probably gone on impact. They hit a pole on the side of the road.”

Tears gathered in my eyes as Adrián got emotional. He wasn’t over the hurt, but how could he ever be? And without asking, I understood he blamed himself. I understood why he’d kept it from me. Not because he wanted to hide it, but because he had not fully processed it all himself. That didn’t excuse him keeping things from me, but my heart broke to hear what he’d been through.

“I’m rational. I promise I understand the danger of the blame game, but objectively, they wouldn’t have been on that road if it wasn’t for me. If it wasn’t for me prioritizing work over them. The sense of pride I felt every time I put money in my parent’s bank account was my driver, but pride was my fall. I was getting great projects, being pulled in different directions. I was exploring my sexuality in the city where there was a little bit more open-mindedness, not that my parents ever made me feel less, but others...they just didn’t understand.”

The download of so much between the two of us had drained me of all semblance of delicacy; I wanted to comfort him and sleep. That simple.

The rest I would sort out tomorrow with a clear mind. But understanding that the name of A.D. Nicholson was so connected to the trauma he was still healing from...it made sense. It made sense why he had separated himself from all that reminded him of how he had neglected his family in his eyes.

“Adri...let’s go to sleep. I get it. I do. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have experienced losing my parents like that and... I even understand blaming yourself even though you know you had no control over what happened that night. Whatever shortcomings you think you have, you are your family’s rock, and now that we are together... Maybe I can be your support too? We will figure it all out tomorrow. But for now, let’s rest.”

“Are you upset with me?” he asked, his voice already trailing off as I plopped next to him, and he gathered me in, his arm draped over my waist, hand on my belly. My heart settled securely, knowing we would figure out the next steps together.

“Anger filled me at first, to know you’d kept something so big from me. It took all of me to keep levelheaded while you spoke. Now...I don’t know. I...I’m not. I... I wish you’d told me, felt comfortable opening up. What does this say about our mutual trust?”

“No, no. That was exactly my fear. Every day that I didn’t tell you who I was I feared what damage I could be doing to our trust. I just... I justified it all in my mind, at first I thought we wouldn’t last the two weeks. Then it was too new, we were getting to know each other, I figured I had time. But then once Tropics started looking for me... I should have said something, no matter how hard it was. No matter the fear I felt about the proposal they wanted to give me... I should have been sincere. Because I do trust you, and I want you to trust me. I mishandled this and I’m so sorry for the hurt and anger I caused. I don’t want this to become what breaks us.”

Ugh. This man. He even apologized perfectly. No matter how much I wanted to hold on to anger and indignation, I just didn’t have it in me. I knew he was dealing with grief from the time he showed me his parents resting place. To now know how deeply embedded his career was to that grief... I couldn’t imagine. If I lost my mom tomorrow due to work, how would that impact my mental health?

“I don’t want this to break us either. So we won’t let it, it’s that simple. We knew it would be bumpy at first...” The tinge of fear of the unknown resonated an alarm, but I ignored it. I’d always gone into my decisions with a full deck of information, everything studied. Pros and cons detailed. Not this time, and I wouldn’t let the fear take over. Even if our first day together in Florida had been less than desirable.

“I love you, Preciosa.” He said it so simply and I felt every impact of the weight of his words. I didn’t need anything more than that.

“And I you,” I said because, with us, it was that straightforward. That easy.

We both fell asleep seconds later, the first night of the rest of our life.

No more snoozing.

I jumped out of the bed and had exactly thirty-five minutes to get myself together and out of the door. The vestiges of anger, fear, and determination lingered in the back of my mind like pesky flies that refused to go away.

Adrián lay sprawled, the laugh lines next to his mouth showing slightly more than the last time I saw him. I couldn’t wait to see how time would mark him gently and for me to be the person to catalog each and every change. It was a privilege I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t taken this risk and for that I was thankful. With all the chaos of our lives converging, there wasn’t a moment I didn’t feel unvarnished joy being with him. My doubts were not of our compatibility, nor our love, but of every other practicality that surrounded our everyday life.

They said love conquered all, but that was the movies and books. Here I had the sexiest, most beautiful, kind man I had ever met, inside and out, and love was working overtime to ensure we could smooth over all the little fires that kept creeping up around us.

I dashed to the bathroom where I took the most efficient, shortest shower ever—then dealt with my makeup while the flat iron warmed up so I could smooth my hair. I hurried out to put the coffee on, but a warm sturdy body collided with mine.

“Hey, where you’re rushing away to?” Adrián said, sliding one arm around my waist, his hand finding its favorite spot on my ass. I didn’t think I’d be ready to face him after last night, but now that he was awake, I couldn’t have been more wrong. His embrace soothed all the worries away. If only I could bottle this feeling and take it to work with me, I’d have an outstanding day.

“I have to finish getting ready.”

“Okay, but why are you running?”

“I wasn’t running.” I frowned.

“Wow, you don’t even notice it anymore.” He planted a kiss on my forehead, and I puckered my lips, ready for the next one.

“Nah, I gotta brush my teeth first.” He shook his head, winking at me when I pouted, and he swaggered into the bathroom. I stared at that firm ass under the sweatpants, then shook myself, remembering I had thirteen minutes left.

I was pouring my coffee into my travel mug when he walked out, all that dick I hadn’t enjoyed the night before taunting me as it bobbed inside his sweatpants.

“Hey, eyes up here, woman,” he said, laughing.

“Sorry.” I shrugged, my cheeks heating, but honestly, I had no regrets. Well, I had one, the fact that I was leaving without a ride on his—

“No, you’re not because you are still staring at me like that. And if you continue, I’m not gonna be nice, and you’ll end up late for work,” he promised, and I was startled when the alarm on my watch went off, letting me know it was time to depart.

“I expect to see you tonight, ready for my arrival. It’s Friday, so hopefully...”

“Don’t hope, Preciosa, just make sure you get here on time. Because he and I will be waiting.” He ran his hand over his length, then grabbed right under, showcasing exactly what I was walking away from.

My paid time off bank is full again, isn’t it?

“Oh... I know you probably want to tell your boss about A.D. Nicholson... I need a second to wrap my mind around it all, and it doesn’t mean I can’t...” He shrugged, opening the door to a conversation I feared would take a lot of finesse and diplomacy. I tampered my excitement. After anger and disappointment had their way with me, a cautious hope had bloomed. Here I had A.D. Nicholson, in my house, ready for duty...but only if he wanted it. And with everything he told me about his parents last night, convincing him would be difficult.

“I wasn’t going to say anything until we spoke, but...this would be good, no? For Claudia and the babies and Mario and even Julín?” I really tried not to growl his name, but Adrián’s headshake told me I was unsuccessful. “I got no beef with him, but...the man don’t like me.”

“I know...but he has his reasons, no matter how wrong they are. And I know you think this is all good, but...have you thought what it would mean for us?”

I had. It would mean stability, security, and I’d get to see my man at work. All wins in my book. But clearly I’d missed something. “What are you saying? I know you’re still a hard worker, and I can see your steps to healing, so it would be just like working on Villa Bonita or LasDell...”

“No, it wouldn’t. I was very strategic about what I decided to do after the crash. I worked with my family, not away from them. Taking this job...it would put us with conflicting schedules all the time. I would probably be traveling a lot to different countries for projects and...” Adrián grabbed the back of his neck, eyes clouded, and I tried to see things from his perspective.

I was failing, though; we had already done the long-distance thing, so it couldn’t be worse than that. Whenever he was in the office, he’d be a couple of floors away. And I could probably manage some trips to my own territories to coincide with his. This was a good thing. How could he not see it? Not wanting to get worked up before work, I filled my lungs, expelling all anxiety and animosity.

“I...hear you. Let’s talk about it more, okay?” I wondered, if I deployed my skilled professional persuasion, what would happen? I left that Gen out of our dealings, but...it was part of me... I didn’t disagree with him that we would both have long days of work ahead of us if he accepted.

Just weeks ago, I was wondering about new ways to think of my career and my future, and here I was asking him to go back to something that clearly did not serve him anymore. But... I couldn’t shake the feeling that he did love it. Adrián had just equated everything that happened before the accident as this “big bad thing” and maybe, with his newfound balance, he would be able to make it work. I could deploy my negotiation tactics, I was tempted to, but then my watch vibrated again.

“Shit, I gotta go. Love you.” I yanked my door open, but it bounced back and closed. In some ninja move, I would have to study when I had more time; Adrián had reached the door frame, his body pressed over mine, one arm braced over me. I forgot how his sturdiness was the perfect contrast to my tallness, and I avoided the urge to purr in satisfaction.

“You don’t walk out of the door, ever, without kissing me goodbye first. Understood?” His hooded gaze studied me.

“Yes...” I moaned, and he captured my mouth in a savage but short kiss that left me breathing heavily.

“Now go, you’ll be late.” He opened the door and turned me around, giving me a swat on my ass that made me jump.

“Remember, be here on time.”

Oh yes, Adri.

Damn, the end of the day couldn’t come fast enough.

“What was that cryptic message you sent me?” Anita’s beautiful face popped up on my screen with an eyebrow raised. I had tried to see if she had known who A.D. Nicholson was, and she had always been vague with her responses. Now... I wondered...had they known each other all along, and she knew who he was?

“Have you been keeping secrets, Anita Johnson?”

“Girl, if you don’t tell me what you wanna know...”

“But I have! I have asked you several times, and you always give me the runaround!”

“Ohhh, you figured it out, didn’t you?”

“Ahhh, so you knew A.D. Nicholson is him?!” I whisper yelled at the camera. My voice carried enough that Anibal burst into the room with Arjun, who followed behind, looking mildly amused.

“What are you screaming about and...mmm, I should have known... Anita Johnson.” Anibal strolled over to me to face the camera. He crossed his arms, glaring at the camera while Anita returned the favor. Arjun sat across my desk and shrugged apologetically.

“We were just coming to invite you to happy hour,” Arjun explained.

“Ah.” I nodded.

“So, did I just hear right? Did I hear that you have known A.D. Nicholson’s whereabouts and did not share?” Anibal accused. What the heck? He had no bone in this game. LATAM wasn’t his region anymore. And he barely cared about the expansion plans anyway; he was effective but always with that laissez-faire vibe.

This indignation was...interesting.

“Oh please, here you Americans go again. If I knew, I wouldn’t say anything. Clearly, the man retired from that career, and you all know there was some tragic reason why and you still haven’t given a flying fuck about it. Still trying to figure it out. He was never hiding. He just wasn’t doing that work anymore. I have no regrets.” She glared back at Anibal, who scoffed, but he looked chastised.

My stomach curdled at Anita’s words. All through this, we had been adamant about finding more info about who he was but...never cared to examine why he had removed himself from his career. Adrián’s words flashed through my brain and guilt prickled at me.

“Whatever. You act like you don’t like working for the Tropics. It is one of the best companies in hospitality in your country, and you know it,” Anibal retorted with a satisfied grin. Arjun and I just followed along, spectators at a tennis match.

“You really think the Tropics is the end all be all? How sad. I’m about to leave a bit early to go on a weekend trip to the beach with my fiancé. Let me guess, Anibal, will you put in some extra hours tomorrow to impress your bosses? Yeah, I thought so. You’re arguing with me when I don’t care what you think. I’m proud of everything I do, but this is my job, not my life. Tomorrow if I become a seamstress, I’ll be as proud to do that job as well. You, on the other hand... Chao!”

Anita ended the call as the winner because clearly she was unaffected, compared to Anibal, who stomped to the other seat across from my desk and threw himself there with a growl. The chair creaked under his robust weight and his frown spoke volumes. Anita’s words affected me too. To be confident that no matter where your career took you, you were proud of your accomplishments. I don’t think I’ve ever had that conviction. My sense of self has so long been tied to my career path that if I needed to detangle both, I was afraid of what I’d have left. The realistic side of me asserted that I’d done everything right. I was successful, climbing the corporate rungs, and soon would be in a position to expand this world for other people like me. The pang of envy that resonated inside of me at Anita’s last words told me that deep inside, I wanted more. I craved more. Good for Anita for knowing what she wanted unapologetically.

“Damn. She really is leaning into you not being her boss anymore.” I grinned, attempting to lighten things up.

“Man, I always thought you had your shit together...until today.” Arjun clapped Anibal on the back. “Now I know you’re human like the rest of us. And with that, I’m going to head out to meet everyone else for happy hour. See y’all there?”

“Nah.” We both responded at the same time, and Arjun chuckled and left.

“What the fuck was that, bossy boss?” I rounded on Anibal as soon as Arjun walked away.

“I have no idea.” He ran his hand over his curls, clearly flustered. Anita’s words lingered in the back of my mind, and I couldn’t wait to get home and speak with Adrián.

Once Anibal left the office, I started packing up to go home when Ricard stormed into the room.

“We need to have an emergency meeting. I just caught Anibal in his office. The executive office wants the GM meeting’s focus next week to shift to expansion.”

My heart sank as Ricard walked me through the changes, knowing it would be a long night and a long weekend.

Years ago, I’d have been thrilled by the challenge, excited to work the long hours to come but now... I didn’t know if this was what fulfilled me anymore, and it filled my heart with fear and trepidation.

Was this Adrián’s influence, or was this in me before him?

I texted him the news and went into the boardroom to work with the team, who all looked pissed to be there on a Friday night.

For the first time in my career, I was pissed to be there too.