Chapter Twenty-Six
Genevieve
Monday arrived too soon; after a weekend of relaxation and disconnect, I again found myself leery of returning to the office. I hated this feeling; I’d never had it before, but now here I was, second-guessing my motivations. What exactly should be my next step? I felt I had a few loose ends that didn’t allow me to enjoy what should be an exciting time in my life.
Prepared for a grueling day of meetings, I focused on this morning’s meditation, attempting to clear my mind of all the unanswered questions. What to do about work? What to do about my disappointment about our wedding? How to balance my drive with my wish to prioritize my personal life?
With Adrián involved, the meditation instead led to a quick make-out session that required reapplying my makeup. Even with all of that, I left with a smile on my face that started to fade as I walked into my office.
“What’s wrong?” Anita asked me as she sat down in front of my desk. She’d planned an extended stay this week after the general manager’s meeting to visit some of the Tropics hotels in South Florida. I’d offered to go with her, but that idea had been quickly squashed.
“Nothing, just wanted to stay home and frolic with my man.”
“Oh, excuse me, girl, now that you have a fiancé, you’re not desperate to come to the office?” She chuckled.
“Listen, don’t start with me, why are you still here in the States? Any other time you’d be rushing to go back to be home with your fiancé.”
Anita’s eye roll and full-body shudder were as telling as anything else.
“I know I’m your boss, but I want to believe I’m your friend too...this is me asking as a friend, is everything okay?”
Anita sighed, then pushed back in her chair. After a brief hesitation, she scoped the office and got up and closed the door.
“First of all, that man stays in my business...and now he jumps in, on my hotel visits, talking about it’s my region, so I have to go,” Anita scoffed, and I wondered what I had missed; she and Anibal were always on each other’s throats for some reason, but it had gotten worse lately.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m... Calito and I decided to take a break. He’s having some doubts about the direction of our lives... I hate that it’s come to this. He and I have known each other since we were kids.” Her saddened gaze prickled at me. I wanted to tell her it would be okay, that things would work out with her fiancé. I had to believe that. That love could conquer the differences and fill in the areas where things didn’t fully align.
“It’s going to be okay. You and Calito have weathered so much together. I have faith in y’all’s connection.”
Anita smiled unconvincingly, then shrugged.
“At least that’s one person that is rooting for us.”
“I’m sure others are...” I murmured, unsure of how to proceed, her sadness was palpable in the room, and it fed into my fears for Adrián and me. Right now, things made sense between us because we were being intentional, but when he accepted the job here, and I continued to travel and get busy...what would our everyday look like? What did we want our everyday to look like? I didn’t want to be counting pennies daily for love, but...the alternative was equally as scary. I shoved the thoughts aside, wanting to focus on Anita, and comforting her.
“Girl, enough about me. I hate being down. The break is a good idea, and we said whatever happens over the break is fair game. I mean, he’s the only man I’ve ever been with so...yeah, maybe I should lean into that.”
Oop. Okay, I wasn’t touching that with a stick.
Accepting her change of topic, I gathered my courage to ask her something that had been on my mind for a minute. With Adrián not having family or close friends yet for our ceremony at the courthouse on Friday, I’d been hesitant to bring up the conversation about witnesses.
“Okay, girl...you do you! But know I’m here if you feel like talking. If you’re around after lunch, I’d love to have you join my call with Black Travel Chronicles. I’m pitching them a full collaboration. Oh, and... I’d love for you to be our witness for our court appointment on Friday.” I rushed to the last part nervous about her answer.
Anita, with her tough persona and boldness, instantly melted.
“Of course, I can. Oh, that would be lovely,” she said, smiling, then growing pensive. “Promise me you’ll never let any external forces fuck with y’all. Make time for each other...prioritize each other. I think that was Calito’s and my miss...but hey, now that I know, maybe there’s time to fix things.” She grinned, and I couldn’t help the pang of alarm that traveled through me at her advice.
The call with Black Travel Chronicles went flawlessly. The owner was Latoya Jenkins, Black woman in her late thirties just like me, who was deeply interested in my pitch of collaboration with organic partnerships for marketing. Latoya loved the idea of having our Tropics properties, and I made sure to plug Villa Bonita, be the hosts to different Black traveler influencers, highlighting our hotels and experiences through the eyes of their correspondents. The main hook that really resonated with her was our plan of opening properties in Black towns but owned by people of the area, or with heritage from the area, connecting the traveler with experiences that were authentic and keeping dollars in the surrounding areas. We ended the call with plans of meeting in person in the next couple of weeks.
“Hola, Preciosa, I missed you today. I’ve been moping around without your company,” Adrián crooned through my cell phone as I finalized my last task of the day. I sat with no shoes on, feet in my massager, my ergonomic chair pulled away from my desk. Just the sound of Adrián’s voice and my body was on high alert for all the pleasure and love.
“I missed you too...work clothes feel so sensitive on my skin now...after all that naked time we had on Sunday,” I murmured back, my finger going to one of my coils that had sprung free. After such vigorous activities during the weekend, I’d forgone the silk press. Who had time for a salon appointment when you have an all-day inclusive pass to Dickland?
“So, will you be home soon, or should I see to this fellow who’s been hard all day?” he asked, and I chuckled.
“Nah, tell my friend there to hold firm. I’ll be home soon to take care of—”
“Genevieve, I have news for you.” Ricard waltzed into my office, making me jump.
“Hi,” I said while Adrián kept telling me about his dick and the despicable things he planned to do to me tonight. I turned down the volume of my receiver, afraid Ricard could hear.
“Babe, babe, Adri... Ricard is here. I gotta go, okay?”
I hung up, uncomfortable with my ruined panties, as Ricard sat before me.
“So, I need you to pack a bag and head to Panamá first thing tomorrow morning. There is a prospective owner interested in the Colón project. Now that we almost have your fiancé locked in, this is an opportunity we cannot pass. He is Afro-Panamanian, just as we wanted, but lives in New York. He’s in town for other business and wanted to meet.”
Shit, another trip, and with such short notice... I’d jump for joy for going to Panamá, but right now Adrián couldn’t travel with me...he’d have to stay behind while I went for a couple of days. My chest tightened at the thought of giving him this news, but I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by.
Buoyed by the reminders of my call with Black Travel Chronicles and how interested they’d been in partnering with projects that were connected to the land and offering experiences for Black travelers looking to avoid making a negative impact on the areas they planned to visit made me fill with a new sense of purpose.
“Okay... I’ll get home and ready for that. I... you know it’s hard now to just up and jump for travel. It was manageable for me before, but I’d love to discuss when I return how we can minimize these instances now that I have my family—”
“Let me stop you right there, dear. This is part of the job. You signed up for it, besides once Adrián is on board, he’ll probably be doing tons of travel too, of course, he has a bit more control than you.” Ricard gave me a kind smile that didn’t match the message. She really had the best intentions, but was so far removed from the type of balance I was looking for that I couldn’t help but deflate at her words.
“Still... I want us to meet, maybe when I’m back Thursday or...” I trailed off when Ricard shook her head.
“You won’t be back ’til Friday night. He wants a private meeting tomorrow, then a full presentation for him and his executive committee on Friday afternoon. You can maybe jump on the last flight that night.”
A sharp pain lanced my head, an eerie coldness running through my body.
“I cannot be there on Friday. It’s my wedding day.”
“Oh, child, please. Your mom told me it’s just a formality.” Ricard waved a hand at me. “A quick visit to the court and done. Y’all can reschedule that for another day. I’m sure Adrián will understand.”
My heart ached at the decision in front of me, my feet heavy as I ambled through to the end of the day. If I refused the trip, would that hurt our chances with this investor? This was the type of developer I was hungry to work with; it would be the right thing for the areas around Aguimar, and it would even be great for Adrián. It would set his first project close to Villa Bonita. And if it meant us postponing our wedding for a few days well...the end result was for the best. For all of us.
I knew what I signed up for when I took this job; I understood the type of sacrifices it would take. Missing family celebrations and such was never a concern because I had tailored my life to mirror my career, but now with Adrián it was different. I had to think of him.
I packed up my laptop to go home. My heart raced—my brain clouded in what-ifs, and alternatives to make it all work, but in the end the only variable that was fully controllable by me was changing my wedding day.
Our wedding date.
My stomach crumpled to the floor as I realized what I needed to do and hoped to heavens Adrián would understand.
Dread infused every step as I walked into our apartment.
Adrián, the goofball, was sitting on the sofa, no clothes on with a huge black velvet bow covering his crotch, his brawny arms and chest burnished warm brown, begging for my touch. Next to him was a bottle of lube. When he noticed my gaze shifting to the bottle, he wiggled his thick eyebrows and winked. That wink was deployed to cause a riot in my panties, and it worked damn it. Even while my hands were sweaty and my chest hurt, he could make me yearn for him with just a wink.
“I was thinking we could do a repeat of Saturday, maybe your finger ventures farther than—”
Oh no, I couldn’t handle his cute banter right now—I needed to say what I had to say or I would lose my courage.
“I’m so sorry, I really love all of this, but I have to pack. I... I have to go to Panamá on the first flight out,” I blurted out, donning a self-assured mask. Maybe if I sold it as a done deal, it would be better. It would sound official and inevitable.
Adrián sprang from the couch, still holding the bow over his middle.
“What else aren’t you saying, Preciosa? I can see you thinking a thousand thoughts a second right now,” he said with such tenderness I became undone. He started walking toward our room, which now had less pink and more signs of our life together. Pictures of Aguimar and our travel. Adrián’s books next to mine.
“We have to postpone the wedding,” I whispered as I followed him. The view of his plump ass a consolation prize to being apart for the next few days. At my words, Adrián froze, his ass clenching as he slowly turned on his heel.
“Excuse me. We have to what?” he asked with a sinister calm.
“I... I have to go to Panamá to meet with a potential buyer. Just the type of person you and I dreamed of aligning ourselves with for the Colón project. He is a native of Colón, Costa Arriba. Everything I have researched on him gives me the best of vibes. He now lives in New York but is going back home and requested a meeting. I have to fly in and present things to him first, then to his executive board on Friday. He’s flying them in if he likes the preliminary presentation.” Without wanting to, I said those words poised and collected. The Silent Sniper had entered the chat, leaving Hot Girl, vulnerable lady, and in love Gen aside. I stood tall as Adrián’s gaze flickered from bewilderment to hope to resignation.
“How can Ricard be okay with sending you on our wedding day?”
“Well, it’s something small, isn’t it? Could we postpone? We can ask the court for another date...” I shrugged, but inside, vulnerable Genevieve was raging, pleading for me to let my guard down. But how could I? I needed this job, this was the culmination of all I had accomplished, and I had never had to compromise. Ever.
“Wow...okay. Well, it seems you have made the decision.” Adrián’s shoulders slumped, and he dropped the bow on the floor, leaving me to stand on the threshold of our bedroom feeling bereft.
Was I wrong to go on this trip? I wanted the best for him and for us; this was beyond my job, this would secure the right type of owner for Tropics Colón. I wasn’t naive, no matter how great Tropics was about inclusion, working with the communities where they opened projects, they were a business first and foremost. If I didn’t spearhead this, then who knew what route they would take? The work was important. Damn it, even Adrián depended on it going well.
With that renewed certainty, I stormed farther into the room while Adrián pulled on basketball shorts.
“This is going to secure your future and mine.”
“The only future I want, is one where we get to live our lives, not work ourselves to death.”
“It will get better!” I pleaded, dropping all my poise, showing him all of me again. I wanted to believe it would get better. Wasn’t that the promise? If you worked hard and pushed and persevered then on the other side, you would get the life you always dreamed of? And why had my dream morphed into soft living, with my husband and my family at my side, with travel and a project I was passionate about? Why had the dream of corporate excellence forsaken me?
None of this made sense. And the dream of soft living was a pipe one at best. I had no money in the bank past six months. If I didn’t work hard, none of it would be possible. Why couldn’t Adrián see that?
“Will it? Does Ricard work better hours than you? Does her boss? Preciosa... I will support anything you want. If that is your dream, I get it. I really do, but in order for my dream to also come true, that means one of us would have to take a step back. And I am okay with it being me,” Adrián said; a clang of danger resonated in our room. No matter how gentle we attempted to be with each other, the tension in the room was pervasive.
“Nooo! I don’t want that! You negotiated a hell of a good contract that allowed you to have balance and be able to help your family and us financially. I want to say I could live in squalor with you, but I have to be honest, that is not what I want. I guess what I want is impossible, but...”
“It’s not. I can get another job. Maybe open a transportation company here, something with a couple of drivers, something that allows me flexibility, but I don’t want to jeopardize us. Our time together. My parents...” Adrián’s deep voice trailed off, and I sat beside him on the bed, holding his hands.
“I don’t want this to be the type of marriage where we barely see each other. I couldn’t live like that, and I don’t want to live without you, so...something has to give.”
“Adrián...please,” I begged, but what was I asking him to do? Why did my heart feel like it was crumbling in my chest? We were not saying goodbye, so why did it feel like our marriage felt so much further out of reach than it had just a few hours ago?
“Go to Panamá. If you have time, please go hug Claudia and the family for me, then when you come back, we finish this talk.”
“You were supposed to say yes to Ricard on Friday. I need you to say yes to Ricard on Friday! That’s our plan...it’s the plan...” I pleaded.
“I’m not saying yes, Gen,” Adrián said with a finality that closed the conversation.
The rest of the night, we moved like ghosts around each other, going to bed in silence.
It felt as if something irreparable had broken, and I had no idea how to fix it.