Chapter 32 #2
Nate laughs. ‘Dougie’s IT skills are good; the UN’s are better.’
I turn to Sebastien. ‘Is the data from the journals valuable to your environmental project?’
‘Yes.’
‘Valuable enough to justify the UN funding an ornithologist to come all the way out here?’
‘We had no choice.’
‘Look …’ Nate again. ‘In my role with the UN Security Committee, I keep my ear to the ground about a whole lotta things. Turned out, someone on Morrison was sending information to Canberra. To be more specific, the Russian Embassy in Canberra. Given Sebastien’s other skills, we got him involved.’
‘Military skills?’
‘Including discretion. We confirmed Dougie was our leak, and he was transmitting information through the template he’d created when he was working with Professor Johnson.
We were getting close to identifying Dougie’s handlers, his contacts, when the professor turned against Dougie.
We settled the professor down by offering to fund your role. ’
‘Dougie is important to Nate because of Dougie’s contacts at the embassy,’ Sebastien says.
‘The data in the journals. Is there anything secret there?’
‘No way,’ Nate says.
‘But the information Dougie hid in the cells was important? Confidential?’
‘Some of it could be seen as sensitive information, but it’s not as important as Dougie thinks it is. Our primary focus is tracing Dougie’s Russian contacts.’
‘Where did Dougie get the information?’
‘Some is gossip, some he might have heard from his US or Australian mates on mainland Antarctica. There are new Chinese stations out there, and Russian stations too. Word gets around about equipment shipped in, communications capabilities, things like that.’
Sebastien glares at the phone. ‘Lisse doesn’t need to know this.’
Nate’s huff is disbelieving. ‘Given what I’ve got in mind, she does.’
‘What did you mean the professor turned against Dougie?’
‘The professor complained that Dougie was useless and wanted to make a complaint, meaning Clarissa gets rid of him, or Dougie spits the dummy and leaves Morrison of his own accord. To take the heat off Dougie, we agreed to fund your position so the journals get sorted and the professor gets extra help. I planned to sit back and wait for Dougie to come up with an alternative way to get in touch with his handlers, but as it turned out …’
‘Professor Johnson had a heart attack.’
‘And we gave Dougie his old job back.’
‘We thought we’d isolated him, that he was working on his own.’ Sebastien presses two fingers against his temple. ‘That was a mistake.’
‘I was going to tell you tonight but—’
‘You didn’t!’
‘This didn’t adversely affect your project or Nate’s. You got what you wanted.’
‘Gotta acknowledge that,’ Nate says. ‘Only thing is, we need you to stick with us.’
‘No.’ Sebastien walks across the room and back again. ‘No.’
‘If he’s handing over secrets, is Dougie a traitor?’
‘His information has limited value, but, yes, he’s a traitor,’ Nate says. ‘Not that he’d see it like that. Notwithstanding his chirpy exterior, he thinks the world owes him. He’s also in debt. Selling information is a way to clear it.’
‘If you know all this, why don’t you arrest him?’
‘Dougie is small fry,’ Nate says, ‘but if we can hold out for another few weeks, let him continue to send the information, we’ll get more detail on who’s running him.’
‘He doesn’t suspect me because he knows I have good reasons for taking over the work. I can keep doing what I’m doing.’
‘No.’ Sebastien again.
‘Seb!’ Nate says something under his breath. ‘We’re yet to talk this through.’
‘Lisse said Dougie was anxious. In card games, in the way he talks to me, I’ve seen that too. He was in the army reserve. If he suspects we know what he’s doing, if he finds out he’s cornered, he could get nasty.’
‘He doesn’t suspect Flick,’ Nate says. ‘Nothing has to change.’
‘I don’t like it.’
‘Only because you and she are—’
‘Nate,’ I say. ‘Do you monitor what Dougie does? I’m thinking you must, as you know where the information is going.’
‘Nothing leaves Morrison without us knowing about it.’
‘If Dougie’s behaviour changes, if he does anything unusual, you can arrest him.’
‘We’re close, Seb,’ Nate says. ‘You know we are, which is why I say Flick should continue to do what she’s been doing.
If she pulls out, Dougie could get suspicious.
Besides, Dougie has never been so productive.
Pull Flick out and we not only lose his content, there’s a chance he’ll put the brakes on. ’
‘You’re friendly with Dougie because of this, aren’t you, Sebastien?’ I ask. ‘It’s the reason why you stay up late to play cards. It was all an act.’
‘I won’t leave you alone with him,’ Sebastien says. ‘I’ll stay.’
‘A change of plans with four hours’ notice?’ Nate says. ‘If you stay, it increases the risk he works out we’re onto him.’
Sebastien’s jaw is working overtime. ‘I don’t like it.’
‘Be reasonable.’ Nate speaks calmly. ‘This isn’t what we expected, but Flick is on board. You leave tomorrow as planned; I’ll get to Morrison by Friday. If things heat up with Dougie, I’ll be there.’
Sebastien’s eyes are on me. ‘You didn’t have the facts but now you do. Tell him no.’
‘If you have any respect for me, you’ll support me.’
‘This has nothing to do with respect.’
‘It does!’
‘Sorry, buddy. I’m siding with Flick on this.’
Sebastien glares at the phone. ‘If you come to Morrison, how do we explain that?’
‘I already have the cover of working with you. I was due to come to Morrison in March—my start date has been brought forward.’
Sebastien is more than tired, he’s exhausted. And why wouldn’t he be, when his ship only arrived yesterday and he had meetings all day? He was still working at ten when I arrived.
Swallowing hard, I harden my heart. ‘Thank you, Nate, for letting me help with your real job.’
Nate laughs. ‘That’s my absolute pleasure.’
‘Lisse.’ Sebastien turns to me. ‘I respect you.’
‘I’ll prove myself.’
‘You don’t have to, not to me.’
‘What happened last night …’ When tears threaten, I look away. ‘We have to forget it.’
‘Explain what you mean.’
‘You’ve already had sex with Natasha and Allie and all those other women this year. Think of it like that.’
‘Stop it.’
‘Sex was a mistake.’
‘You have no idea about sex.’
‘I know more than I did when I knocked on your door!’
Nate clears his throat. ‘You know I’m still here, right?’
‘Fuck off!’
A huff, then a click. Sebastien walks to the door and puts his palms flat against it. He breathes deeply, so deeply I see the lift and fall of his shoulders before he turns and faces me again.
‘You and I are more than sex.’
‘If I’d told you about Dougie last night, you would have called Nate. We wouldn’t have had sex.’
‘Nate had a right to know.’
‘I see that now I know the facts!’
‘I don’t like this.’
‘Because you think I need protection. I can look after myself.’
‘On a plane?’ He jabs a finger. ‘On a ship?’
Without warning, hot, burning tears stream down my face. He holds out a hand and I swipe it away.
‘Leave me alone!’
‘I didn’t—’
‘Yes, you did!’
The phone rings again. Nate. As I scrub at my eyes and blow my nose, Sebastien, watching me, gives increasingly sharp answers of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and ‘fuck’ before holding out the phone. I take it awkwardly because, unlike him, I’m being meticulously careful not to touch.
‘How’re you doing?’ Nate asks.
I swallow. ‘Good.’
‘Any assumptions I might’ve made about you and Seb, and anything I might’ve heard that I shouldn’t, has clear gone out of my head. You got that?’
‘Thank you.’
‘Seb doesn’t like Dougie. He’s also concerned about you. He’ll calm down.’
‘I’m sorry you have to come all the way from Casey.’
‘Casey in summer is like a bitter New York winter—you’re doing me a favour. Anyway, it’ll be great to meet up with you again.’
After Nate ends the call, I throw the phone on the bed. When it lands on the rumpled covers, Sebastien turns away and so do I. I’m at the door when he speaks.
‘Stay, Lisse.’
‘I should have told you what I’d done.’
‘We thought we’d isolated Dougie.’ He presses against his temple again. A headache? ‘I didn’t want to hear what I did.’
‘I can’t undo it.’
‘You and me, Lisse. Last night. That’s different.’
‘It’s over.’
He takes a step but when I step back, so does he.
‘We can’t go back to how we were.’
What were we? I want to ask but the words won’t come so I find other words. ‘I want to go back to my room.’
His eyes close briefly. ‘I’ll walk with you.’
He crouches in front of a cupboard, searching for something, as I pull on my boots.
Then, after he’s laced his boots, he opens the door, standing back to let me go first. Neither of us speaks as we walk up the path.
He has a torch, I have my phone, but we’re meticulously careful that their beams don’t cross.
At the door to my block, he reaches into his pocket and takes out a piece of string.
Only it’s not string, it’s a leather shoelace.
He yanks at his finger and takes off his grandfather’s ring before threading the leather through it and tying a knot.
He takes my wrist and opens my hand, pressing the ring against my palm.
‘I want you to have this.’
Even in the shadows, the ring glistens brightly. H and T. Biting my lip, I keep my eyes on his hands.
‘Why?’
He closes my hand around the ring. ‘It’s all I have.’
I crawl between the sheets, the ring in my hand and the leather wrapped securely around my wrist. When I’ve been able to forget that Sebastien is an air force officer, daredevil and possibly a spy, when we’ve talked about birds and flight and books, I’ve been happy.
A few hours ago, when we were in his bed, I felt closer to him than I would ever have imagined possible.
He cares about me. He cares for me. But that doesn’t mean—
When a sob works its way up my throat, I bury my head in the pillow.