Chapter 4 #2
“My source said the cops are considering murder, but that could’ve just been someone jumping to conclusions.” She frowned. “It’s just … hard to wrap my head around.”
“Why, because you thought she was an immortal imp of hell with the sole mission of making people’s lives miserable?”
Amie rolled her eyes. “No.” She continued haltingly, this being her first time vocalizing these feelings.
“I just never thought … I mean, when I was in the time loop, I thought a lot about why it was happening to me, sure. But I didn’t want to …
I don’t know, mess anything up, I guess.
It felt like something huge was at work, and I figured if I just kept my head down and rode it out, that one day I’d come out the other side. ”
“And you did,” David said.
“And I did. But what if …” She trailed off, unable to bring herself to finish the sentence.
“You think you were put in the time loop to stop Savannah from being murdered,” David finished for her, his tone matter-of-fact.
Amie shrugged.
“Hm. Could be.”
“Could be?” Amie yelped. She’d been hoping for reassurance that she was jumping to conclusions, not validation.
“Well, I don’t know!” David seemed indignant that his response was taken so poorly. “It’s possible, but just as possible as a goddamn time loop, which most people would say isn’t very possible. So, yes, that could be an answer.”
“Oh, god.” Amie covered her face with her hands.
There was silence from David. Then, in a gentler tone:
“But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. If the universe wanted you to become a crime-fighting superhero, it could’ve left a few more tools at your disposal other than a repeating day.
At the very least, it could’ve left you a note saying something like, ‘Hey! Savannah’s getting murdered.
Would appreciate it if you tried to save her. Thanks so much!’ ”
Amie peeked at him through her fingers. “You make it sound like the universe hired me as a pet sitter.”
David snorted. “We can’t know what the reason was,” he said. “If there even was a reason. All you can do now is move on with your life. Are you going to do that?”
Amie thought for a moment. She picked up her phone.
Amie: Tonight would be great! Would you be open to trying a different place?
She locked the phone and put it down before she could overanalyze her response.
David was staring at the voltmeter, eyebrows furrowed. The longer Amie looked at him, the more it seemed like he was staring straight through it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she finally asked.
“No,” he said, his eyes focusing on the device again. “I’m annoyed that none of these batteries are any good.”
Amie leaned across the table to look at the voltmeter. “The screen’s blank. Shouldn’t it at least be showing zeros or something?”
David threw his hands up. “I don’t know. I got it at an estate sale, and no one ever knows where the instructions are at those things. Got kicked out of one once for rummaging around in the kitchen drawers looking for a toaster manual.”
“Does it have batteries?” Amie asked.
She watched him stare at the device for another moment, thinking. Then he flipped it over and removed a panel from its back, revealing two empty spots for batteries.
David dropped the voltmeter with an irritated growl and stood. “I need a cup of tea.”
As he filled the kettle with water, Amie popped two batteries into the device.
“Well,” she said cheerfully, holding up the voltmeter to show him the line of zeros on the screen, “we know two of the batteries work!”
David grunted.
Amie stood outside of the restaurant, back pressed to the wall in a way she hoped looked casual and not like she was desperately trying to stay out of the way of the world.
The trip over had been easier than her morning bagel excursion.
David was right—it helped not to have expectations for how things were meant to go.
Still, she had stood very far from the curb as she waited for the bus to arrive, and caught herself anxiously gripping her legs multiple times throughout the ride.
Not too late to cancel. She shook the thought away as fast as it arrived. No. I want to do this.
What if you freak out? came the response to that.
I won’t, was her foolproof reply.
But what if—
The thought faded into the background as Amie caught sight of Ziya on the other side of the street.
She was wearing the same orange dress that Amie had seen her wear multiple times before.
Amie, for the sake of trying to change things up, had opted out of the brown sweater and skirt, instead donning a dark-green bodysuit and black palazzo pants.
She watched as Ziya approached the crosswalk, stopping behind a couple who were waiting for the walk signal. Glancing up and down the street, she slipped around the couple and stepped off the curb.
By the time Amie had fully processed what had happened, it was already over. A car zipped down the perpendicular street and rounded the corner. Someone yelled. Ziya leapt back onto the curb as the car jerked to a stop in the spot she had just evacuated.
“What the fuck are you doing?” the driver yelled at her. Clearly uninterested in receiving a response, he accelerated and sped away.
“There’s a fucking speed limit, you know!
” Ziya yelled after the car. She smiled wryly as she said something to the couple on the curb, whose expressions morphed from horror to relieved amusement as they chuckled in response.
The walk sign flashed on, and Ziya began her second attempt to cross the street.
Heart racing, Amie jogged down the sidewalk to meet her.
“Are you okay?” she asked as Ziya arrived safely on the other side of the street.
“Hi!” Ziya said, her face splitting into a smile. Usually, that smile would have made Amie’s heart ache, but it was already pounding too hard for anything else to have an effect.
“Are you okay?” she repeated.
“Why? Oh, the car.” Ziya waved a hand dismissively. “I’m fine. It was my fault. He didn’t have to be such a dick about it, though. How are you?”
Her question was tinged with concern as she glanced at Amie’s hands. Only then did Amie realize she was shaking. She crossed her arms.
“Fine,” she said. “I’m great. Are you sure you’re okay? That could’ve been really bad.”
“Could’ve been!” Ziya tugged on Amie’s arm as she began walking to the restaurant. “Let’s go; near death experiences make me hungry.”
Amie followed. The thrill that had shot through her from Ziya’s touch became overshadowed by a prickly, anxious feeling that ran up her spine and tickled the back of her neck. She was unable to resist the urge to glance over her shoulder to make sure another car wasn’t careening toward them.
Once they’d been seated, Ziya gave her an amused look. “I feel like you still need me to confirm that I’m okay.”
“Once more would be nice.” Amie tried to throw in a chuckle at the end to make the request more lighthearted, but her breath caught on the chuckle, and she had to clear her throat to hide the weird intake of air
“I’m okay,” Ziya said, smiling. “Are you okay?”
Amie nodded, clearing her throat again.
“Are we going to spend the rest of the evening confirming that we’re both okay?”
“No,” Amie assured her. “That would be a bad friend date.”
“You can just call it a date.” Ziya rested her chin in her hand, looking around the restaurant. “Friends go on dates.”
“Sure,” Amie replied, “but how would your friends react if you told them you were going on a date with your ex?”
“They’re very happy about it, actually. They all love you. How did David react?”
“With a baffling mix of disinterest and way too much investment.”
“Oh, that’s cute. I miss him.”
“He …” Amie faltered. “… misses you.”
Ziya’s brown eyes flicked back to Amie, her head tilting curiously. Amie assumed she was trying to determine if this was meant to be Amie’s subtle way of saying that she’d missed Ziya, which was something Amie was trying to determine as well.
Before either of them could come to a definitive conclusion, the waiter came by to take their drink order.
As he walked away, Amie felt the shaking in her hands cease.
She looked around, taking in the restaurant for the first time.
Being there felt like unlocking a new section of a video game map after being stuck in one area for ages.
During the time loop, she never ventured far from her usual spots.
The furthest she’d ever strayed from home during the previous two years was the handful of times she got on a plane to visit her parents for a few hours.
And even then, she’d always visit the same Bar & Grill for a pre-flight drink (though she never managed to learn if “Bar & Grill” was the establishment’s name or just a descriptor of its main offerings).
Ziya was watching her, and Amie knew that the other woman wouldn’t be able to sit in silence for much longer. She took these last few moments to remind herself of her mission: Be cool. Be normal. Go with the flow.
“So,” Ziya said, right on cue, “what’ve you been up to?”
Amie took a deep breath. “Oh, you know. Keeping busy.” Good, good. Very cool, very casual. “Work’s good, life’s good. How’re you? How’s school?”
Ziya smiled sheepishly, wincing a bit. “I’m thinking about switching majors.”
“Again?” Amie already knew this, of course, but her incredulous reaction felt real every time.
Ziya was pursuing a business degree, after previously pursuing an English degree, a psychology degree, and a statistics degree.
She’d also taken three nonconsecutive semesters off, two of which were for travel and one for an electrician apprenticeship.
Her parents were supportive of her taking her time to figure out what she wanted to do (especially with three older children with successful careers to split their attention).
The issue was that Ziya wanted to do everything.