CHAPTER 18
Maddie
I’m going to hell.
He said he appreciated my honesty, but I was lying my ass off the whole time. According to every Sunday-school manual ever written, that earns you a one-way ticket to Satan’s playground.
To be fair, it was a lot easier to tell him I don’t have time for a relationship because of my mother’s illness.
What would he think if I told him I’m never, ever letting a guy into my heart again?
I would have sounded like a frigid bitch destined to have a dozen cats and just as many vibrators of every type, shape, and size imaginable.
Speaking of which, I really need to get a vibrator.
And a cute little kitten sounds kind of nice.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, I’m already that woman!
I put that thought on the back burner, or rather, the place in my mind where it will float to the surface when I’m trying to go to sleep. One day this week it’ll keep me up. That’s a given. Stupid brain. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really my friend or only pretends to be when it wants chocolate.
I just got home from the most amazing vacation ever, I’m tired from all the travel, and the mess in the kitchen is the worst I’ve ever seen.
Dirty dishes are piled everywhere. I really don’t care about a trip to Vegas, because right now, all I care about is how to get away with murder. Would anyone even miss my brothers?
Yep, I’m going to hell.
The dishes can wait. Seeing Mom can’t.
“You’re home,” she says when I step through her doorway. “Come give me a hug. I’ve missed you.”
I drop my bags and lunge for her. It feels so good to have her in my arms again.
After a long minute, I let her go. “What have you had to eat today? Let me guess, tomato soup?”
“I like tomato soup.”
Hmm, she likes the tangy taste of tomatoes. I haven’t made lasagna in forever, mainly because she doesn’t normally like it. I wonder if that’s changed. “If I made lasagna, would you try it?”
“You know what? That does sound good.”
Thank you, Riggs. “Okay. After that, we can play Rummy.” The card game is one of her favorite pastimes.
There’s a twinkle in her eyes I haven’t seen for some time. “And you can tell me all about your trip. I can’t tell you how nice it is to have you back.”
It takes an hour to get the kitchen in order before I can even think about starting the lasagna. That’s when I discover I have only about half of what I need.
“I’m heading to the store to pick up a few things,” I tell her. “Do you want anything?”
“You know what sounds good? I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but remember those sour gummy worms?”
I loved them when I was a kid. She couldn’t understand how I could eat them. She said they were like biting into a lemon. “Sure, I’ll pick up a bag. Anything else?”
“No, that’s it. Thank you.”
“No problem. I’ll be right back.”
That’s so interesting. Riggs was right. Her tastes have completely changed.
At the store, I run into Randy. He’s picking up a case of beer. “What a weekend, right? I still can’t believe we got to do stuff with Riggs and Ash. My Instagram is blowing up.”
I still can’t believe I had no clue who they were. “You’ve watched a lot of their videos?”
“Yeah, all of them. I love the one where they were on the Hua Shan Trail in China. They were scared shitless.”
I don’t know why, but they didn’t seem like the type of guys who could be scared of anything. And the way Riggs described his brother, it sounded like he didn’t know what fear was. “Even Ash?”
“Yeah, they both were.”
“Interesting. Maybe I’ll try to watch that one later.”
“Search their channel for ‘Path of Death.’ It’s intense.”
“Okay, I will.”
Nice to know that Ash has his weaknesses like the rest of us mere mortals. And Riggs, too, for that matter. Seeing them for the first time, you’d think they were visiting from Mount Olympus.
I set my basket on the counter at the register.
“How’s your mom doing?” George asks.
He’s wearing his usual green apron. He and his wife, Mary, own the store.
They have a daughter my age, Jennifer, but everyone calls her Jen.
As an artist, she sells her paintings to tourists in Depoe Bay on the coast. That’s where everyone goes to watch the gray whale migrations from Alaska to Mexico, then back to Alaska.
It’s one of Oregon’s biggest attractions.
Her paintings are amazing, and I’d love to own one someday. She gives them as wedding presents, which means I’ll never get one that way. And I don’t happen to have fifteen hundred dollars just lying around.
“Mom is as good as can be expected,” I tell George. “You know how it is.”
“I wish there was something we could do. Mary is just sick about it.”
When they first found about Mom’s diagnosis, George and Mary told me to come shop for whatever groceries we needed and not to worry about paying.
It was an incredibly generous offer, but I refuse to be a charity case.
I told them I would take them up on their offer if I needed to, but we’re doing okay for now.
They’ve accepted that, but Mary still drops off a casserole or pie every week.
I haven’t had the heart to tell her mom never eats anything she brings, but Josh and Keagan sure do. They love her cooking.
I plug my debit card into the card reader and enter my PIN. “I wish Mary wouldn’t worry about us, but it’s nice that she cares. I’ll tell Mom you asked about her.”
The total comes to $17.64. It’s been a long time since I’ve paid for something without a sick feeling in my stomach. Ms. Southerby’s bonus gave me some breathing room. Thank goodness.
Mom ate a healthy portion of lasagna. I’m so glad, and it gives me hope that I’ll be able to find more things she’ll like.
We play Rummy while she snacks on the sour gummies.
Seeing her eat them like a little girl makes me laugh.
She’s talking, smiling, even joking with me.
I’m guessing the sugar has something to do with her elevated mood.
I wish we could have more days like this, just the two of us doing something she enjoys, but I feel like I’m always two steps behind on everything that needs to get done.
It’s getting late, and Mom fell asleep. I put the lasagna in the fridge knowing Josh and Keegan will get to it before I’m ready to pack my lunch, but right now, I don’t care because I’m so happy with how today has gone.
That reminds me, and I pull out my phone.
Maddie: Hey, hope it’s not too late.
Riggs: Not at all. How’s it going?
Maddie: Good news! I made lasagna for my mom, and she ate a ton. She used to hate it.
Riggs: That’s great! I’m so glad. She must have felt a little better afterward.
Maddie: I think she did. I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time.
Riggs: That’s even better. What does your mom do during the day?
Maddie: Not much. Plays solitaire mostly. That and she sleeps a lot.
Riggs: My mom liked solitaire too, but we got her audiobooks to listen to while she played. It made a big difference.
Maddie: That sounds nice. Maybe I’ll try it.
Riggs: You can use my account. I have like a million books in my library.
I like the offer, but it feels like George and Mary trying to give us free groceries.
Maddie: I’ll think about it.
Riggs: Nothing to think about. It’s not charity. It doesn’t cost me anything, and you have to think of your mother.
I’m taken aback. It’s like he read my mind, and he’s right, Mom’s happiness is worth swallowing my pride.
Maddie: Okay, how does it work?
Riggs: I’ll text you my login. Download the app on her phone, go to the library, and you’ll see all the choices. It’s that easy.
Maddie: Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Riggs: No problem. Have you given any more thought to Vegas?
Maddie: Nope.
Riggs: LOL. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. Until then, hope your mom likes the books as much as our mom did. Take care.
I send him a smiley emoji, because I have to admit, audiobooks are a great idea.