CHAPTER 32
Maddie
As we leave the funeral home, the night sky matches my mood.
I’m exhausted. My head is swimming with so many conflicting emotions, I’m not sure how to deal with it all.
I’m dying inside from an overwhelming sense of loss.
At the same time, this new guy in my life makes my whole world brighter.
One minute, I’m so happy I could burst, and the next minute, I feel like crawling back into bed, curling up in a ball, and crying my heart out.
Trying to decide what to put on her gravestone brought back so many memories, like the time she picked me up after I called her from a party.
I never should have been there in the first place.
I told Mom I was spending the night at a friend’s house.
It was two in the morning, and some older college boys were drinking and getting pretty handsy.
It started out as just flirting, which I thought was cool.
But when they started to get aggressive, I got really scared, as in I was so terrified I was shaking.
I was only fourteen and Mom came as fast as she could.
She should have been furious with me for lying to her, not to mention worrying her like that at two in the morning, but she just hugged me and thanked me over and over for calling her. She said all she cared about was me being safe.
She never scolded me, not even a little bit.
Maybe she knew it wasn’t necessary, that I learned my lesson, but I think she didn’t want me to ever hesitate to call her if I was ever stupid again, which I was, many times actually.
I guess being a teenager can be like that.
But after that night, I knew I could always count on her, no matter what.
She’d always been there for me. Until now.
Back in Riggs’s truck, I sit for a moment, thinking about what I want to do next. I don’t feel like seeing anyone. Everyone we run into tells me how sorry they are. They mean well, and I appreciate it, but I’m just not up to hearing any more condolences tonight.
“There’s a burger joint down the road called Buckeroos. They have great shakes. What do you say we get some food to go and take it back to the hotel?”
Riggs starts the truck. “Whatever you want.”
I know exactly what I want, what I need tonight. I just hope he’s okay with it.
The hotel room isn’t very big, but it’s cozy.
We’re sitting at a small round table with two bags of food.
I got a cheeseburger, small fries, and a medium chocolate milkshake.
They put real chocolate in their shakes.
The shavings are small enough to fit through the oversized straws.
Riggs got four burgers, a basket of chili-cheese fries, and an extra-large vanilla shake.
“Is that white chocolate in my shake?” he asks.
“Yeah, they put shaved chocolate in all their shakes.”
“It’s good. Now I get the crazy-big straw.”
I’m playing with a fry, swirling it around a pile of ketchup on a piece of my paper bag that I tore off.
“I was impressed with what you chose for your mother’s gravestone.”
It’s like he always knows just what to say. “You think so? I was so stressed about it.”
He swallows the last of his second burger and picks up the third while I’m not even halfway through mine.
“We were the same way with our mom’s gravestone,” he says, “Trying to decide what to put on it brought back a lot of good memories, which ended up making the whole thing pretty hard. I’m not ashamed to admit that there were more than a few tears that day. ”
I meet his gaze. I can’t believe how well he can relate to what I’m going through. “Yeah, that’s exactly what it was like.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I’m tired and I just want to eat and go to bed.” That’s not the whole truth.
“Would you rather be alone tonight? I can always—"
“No, I want to be with you. I guess I’m just wondering...”
He sets his third burger down. “Where this is going? Me too. I know this is all new, but it’s different for me.
I’ve always looked forward to the next big trip with Ash.
For as long as I can remember, I couldn’t wait to get back on the trail again, and that hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten older.
Unfortunately, it also didn’t change whenever I was dating someone.
The next adventure has always meant more to me than anything else. But now…”
I’m searching his eyes with desperation.
This whole thing isn’t fair. And the worst part is, I knew better.
I knew the risks of getting involved with him.
I knew the risks of allowing myself to feel this way about a guy, any guy, and I even promised myself I’d never let it happen again.
Will I ever learn? “But now, what?” I plead.
He hesitates for way too long, and I brace myself for the bad news.
“But now I don’t want to go to New Zealand. Two weeks isn’t enough time with you.”
I’m relieved, even though I would rather have heard him say he never wanted to leave, like ever, but it’s like he said—this is all so new. “The trip is for how long?”
“Three months. These things are planned a year in advance, and there’s a lot more that goes into them than you’d think.
Besides all the permits and government permissions, Elsie builds whole custom ad campaigns around each excursion.
They include things like product endorsements and cross-promotion deals with other companies.
We promote theirs, and they promote ours. The contracts involve a lot of money.”
“You’re right, that’s more than I would have thought.”
“So you can see why I have to go, even though I don’t want to.”
“You don’t want to?” I mutter, more to myself than to him. Those simple words mean so much to me right now. I feel like I might fall apart just hearing them.
“Yeah, for the first time in my life, I’d rather be here, with you, than out there on another adventure with my brother. I want more time with you. I don’t want to scare you or anything, but I think we could have a real future together.”
I’ve heard enough and come to my feet, taking his hand. “Make love to me.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Great minds.”
Great minds? Ah, the old saying, great minds think alike.
As soon as we cross the threshold to the bedroom, he sweeps me up in his arms and stares into my eyes while setting me on the bed.
I kick off my shoes as he pulls his shirt off. His body still takes my breath away and seeing him shirtless again makes me ache for him.
I shimmy out of my pants as he undoes his belt and lets his pants fall to his ankles. His erection is at half-mast and still rising inside his shorts.
He quickly pulls his socks off, then lies beside me.
Facing him, I rest my hand on his bare chest as he leans in and gives me a soft kiss.
It’s gentle and full of passion, and I let out a moan as I arch my hips against him.
It’s all the encouragement he needs. One hand cups my face as his lips press hard against mine while his tongue explores my mouth.
His fingers are like magic. One by one, the buttons of my blouse pop free with ease.
I kiss him back softly, with an overwhelming desire to be close to him. My blouse falls open, and his hand is on my bra. I run my hand up the tight muscles along the back of his arm as I gyrate my hips against his full erection.
He pulls my bra down, exposing my breasts and stares at me longingly for a moment before his lips come down and suckle my hard nipple while he presses on my thighs. My legs spread for him.
His lips move to my other breast as his fingers stroke over the front of my panties. I arch my back, pushing my pussy into his touch and he lets out a groan.
His lips come up to my neck as his hand finds its way inside my panties. He gives me warm kisses around my ear as he runs a finger up and down my slit. I moan with the pleasure of it.
“You’re so wet for me baby,” he moans. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”
His hips come forward, pressing his erection against my thigh as his finger enters me. I reach up and grab his hair as I spread my legs wider.
His nose delivers a soft, warm breath against my ear as he gently bites my earlobe. His finger presses deeper and begins moving in and out. I close my eyes and gyrate to match his motion. God, I need him inside me.
His hand leaves my pussy and moves to my waist where he pulls me up just enough to work my blouse off.
A moment later my bra lands on the floor.
Propped up with my hands on his thick shoulders, I’m naked, my breasts exposed, my pussy practically dripping.
He takes it all in with desire in his eyes.
“God, you’re so beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. ”
I love how he’s looking at me, like he’ll die if he can’t have me.
He sheds his jockey shorts and kneels between my legs as he kisses me, pressing forward taking me to my back.
With his weight on top of me, I feel safe and secure.
He goes to kiss me again, but I throw my head back with a moan as his crown presses through the folds of my slit. It feels so fucking good!
I close my eyes, my hands on his back, and savor the movement of his muscles as his hips move forward then back, the full length of him sliding in and out.
The stretch still stings a bit at first, but I’m getting used to his size, and with each thrust, I match his rhythm with my hips and let my hands fall to his ass.
It’s all pleasure now as his long, hard strokes make me hum with desire.
This is what I wanted tonight, what I needed, to be close to him and have him close to me.
He picks up the pace, pumping into me harder and faster. My hands move from his ass to his back. The faster he goes, the more I moan and dig my fingers into his tight skin.
“Don’t stop,” I plead.
He growls and shifts into overdrive, thrusting harder, faster.
“Maddie!”
I feel the first spasm as he thrusts deeper, harder. Another spasm, followed by another as he fills me with his come. His arms around me squeeze tight as he exhales and I feel his shoulders relax while his cock continues to throb deep inside me.
He kisses me, ever so softly, then presses his nose to my ear and whispers, “No clothes. I want to feel your body against me all night.”
I almost come undone. It’s exactly what I wanted.