Chapter 16 #3
Even after all these years, just thinking about it made my chest ache. Sadness gnawed at my stomach. I cleared my throat. “My Aunty Carol was murdered by her husband, Uncle Phil.”
“Oh jeez, Fire.” His hand slid beneath the sheet and found mine, and I let him take it. His fingers were warm and solid and careful. “I’m so sorry. Were you close to her?”
“Do you remember that I went to boarding school for a while?”
“Yeah. In Townsville.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course, I do.” A gentleness hummed in his voice. “We met in Townsville at that rodeo.”
“We met well before that,” I said.
“Only on the airways.” His voice softened. “Our first physical contact was in Townsville.”
Physical contact. It had been a hell of a lot more than that. His thumb traced slow circles against the back of my hand.
“Right. Well, anyway.” I stared at the ceiling beams, focusing on the rough grain of the wood.
“I lived with Aunty Carol on the weekends when I didn’t want to go back out to Mom and Dad’s farm.
” I huffed. “Actually, it was more like every weekend. Boarding school was in the city, and she had a little place not far from campus. She’d pick me up Friday afternoons, and we’d ... ”
My throat tightened.
“Uncle Phil worked in the mines, so he was away a lot. Aunty Carol was lonely. We’d cook dinner together and watch those terrible soap operas she loved. She was more than just an aunt to me. She was a friend.”
He squeezed my hand. “She sounds lovely. When did it happen?”
“When I was seventeen.”
His hand went still in mine. “Seventeen? But we hooked up when we were eighteen. We were together for four years, and you never mentioned this.”
My chest tightened. “I know.”
“Why not?” The hurt in his voice made my heart pound harder. “I thought we talked about everything, Fire. I told you about my family. About Mom pissing off and leaving us. About Frank being a bastard who knocked me around.”
“You were fun, Kayden.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. “You made me laugh. You made me forget about all the heavy shit for a while.” I swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to drag you down with my grief and guilt. I just wanted to keep you separate from all that.”
“Sapphire ...”
“And then when I finally worked up the courage to tell you I wanted to be a cop ...” A bitter laugh escaped. “Well, we both know how that went. I never got the chance to tell you why it mattered so much.”
Silence stretched between us, thick and heavy.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen, and I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me about this the whole time we were together.”
His hand slipped out of mine. He edged away, putting distance between us.
The mattress shifted. The warmth retreated.
I stared at the ceiling, my pulse hammering in my ears. I should let it go. Let him think whatever he needed to think, but the words clawed at my throat, demanding to be said.
“I saw the signs, Kayden.” I forced the words past the knot in my throat.
“Signs? What do you mean?”
“Before Aunty Carol was murdered, the way Uncle Phil would call constantly and show up at home early from his shift, like he was trying to catch her at something. She’d flinch when her phone rang.
” I swallowed hard. “She made excuses for the bruises. Said she was clumsy. That she’d tripped over one of her dogs.
” My jaw clenched. “I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t say anything. ”
“You were a kid, Sapphire. You can’t blame yourself for not knowing. She didn’t tell you what was happening, did she?”
I shook my head and rolled slightly toward him.
“No, she didn’t. But after she was gone, her neighbor told me that Aunty Carol had called the police twice.
” My chest squeezed with simmering anger.
“The cops talked to her, then Uncle Phil. They told Aunty Carol to call back if things escalated, then they left.” My throat tightened.
“Three weeks later, he strangled her in her own kitchen.”
Silence stretched between us, heavy and aching.
Finally, he rolled toward me. “I’m sorry.” His voice was raw. “I’m so damn sorry, Sapphire.”
I released a long, slow breath. “That’s why I applied to the Queensland Police. I promised myself that if I was accepted, I’d never be the cop who walked away. I’d be the cop that women like Aunty Carol needed.” My voice dropped. “I promised myself I’d never miss the signs again.”
Kayden reached for my hand. “Oh, Fire.”
His fingers laced through mine carefully, like he was afraid I might pull away. His palm was warm and calloused, and the simple contact made my heart ache.
I didn’t trust myself to speak.
We lay there in the darkness, hands clasped, neither of us moving. In the faint glow from the window, I could make out the line of his handsome profile.
And for the first time all day, I let myself let go. Exhaustion crashed over me in waves as did grief, and the bone-deep fear that I was failing, just like those cops had failed Aunty Carol.
“You’re not like those cops who didn’t listen to your aunt,” Kayden said quietly, like he could read my thoughts. “You’re nothing like them. You’re a brilliant cop.”
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to.
But the facts didn’t lie. I wasn’t sure I’d even have a badge after this mess. And right now, I wasn’t sure I deserved one anyway.
“We’ll catch those bastards tomorrow,” he said, “and Bob will see how much he underestimated you.”
“I hope so.”
“We will.” He squeezed our palms together. “But you need sleep.”
I closed my eyes, his hand still wrapped around mine.
And despite the lies, the hurt, and the impossible situation we were in, I wasn’t alone.
Tomorrow didn’t seem so impossible anymore.