Chapter 36
Lucy: A String of Confessions
The room spun, and Lucy clung to Sebastian as an anchor. Lady Quinn’s words made no sense. She stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence. “I can’t…I don’t…What?” she asked at last. Sebastian put a comforting arm around her, holding her close as she tried to process this new information.
Lady Quinn’s eyes flicked from Sebastian to Robin and Oliver, then back again. “Perhaps we could do this in private.”
“I’m not leaving her,” Sebastian said, tightening his grip on Lucy’s waist. She leaned against him, grateful for his solid presence.
“And I’m not leaving either of them,” Oliver said, plunking down on the bed. Sebastian nodded his thanks.
“I’m not either, Mother,” Robin said, crossing his arms. “We both deserve the truth. How could you not tell us…not tell Father that you had a child?”
Lady Quinn shook her head as she started pacing the small room.
“It’s a long story. I didn’t plan any of this, you know,” she said.
“I didn’t plan to fall in love with King Edward.
It was supposed to be a simple surveillance mission.
But he’d recently lost his wife, and he needed someone to talk to and things just… happened.”
“We might know a little something about that,” Sebastian whispered in Lucy’s ear. She shot him a disgruntled look.
Lady Quinn continued as if he hadn’t spoken.
“I’d only known the king for a few months when I learned I was pregnant.
I wasn’t even an official member of the court at that point.
Just a woman he’d turned to when he was struggling.
I didn’t think he’d want you, love.” Her eyes lingered on Lucy.
“So, when I found out that I was expecting, I took myself away. Buried myself somewhere deep in the woods of Moyar so that no one would know. It wasn’t unusual for me to disappear for months at a time.
During my time away, I reconnected with Yuna and made a deal with her. ”
“What was the deal?” Lucy asked.
Lady Quinn swallowed hard. “That they would raise you as their own in exchange for a substantial sum of money each year.” Seeing their expressions, she hastened to continue, “It’s not as bad as it sounds.
I’d known Yuna for years, so I knew what kind of woman she was.
I knew she’d love you as her own, whether or not I sent the money. ”
“Does Father know about Lucy?” Robin asked.
“He knows he has a daughter, but he doesn’t know who or where she is.
I wouldn’t keep that from him.” She turned her fierce green eyes on Robin.
“I am his wife, after all. We are married, and we have been for nearly a decade now. After what he went through with Nessa, I promised I would keep no major secrets from him.”
“But you couldn’t reveal Lucy’s existence to anyone else. Not unless you wanted all of Afeyra to know.” Robin’s tone ached with sadness.
Lady Quinn paused and shook her head. “Not without putting all of us in danger. I’d been a spy for so long…
revealing myself as Edward’s wife would have brought the wrath of everyone on him and his family…
my family.” She sighed. “The last thing I wanted…for any of my children…was to put them in danger. And I knew, better than anyone, how easily someone could use a child against a person of power.”
Her eyes lingered on Lucy. “That’s why I gave you to Yuna.
I knew she’d be able to provide the protection that I couldn’t.
” She hung her head in shame. “Or, at least, I thought that was the case. But I kept an eye on you from a distance. If ever I thought you were in danger, I…er…removed it. Or had someone remove it.” She hung her head.
“I’m ashamed to say I failed in that regard with Thaddeus Wilde.
I thought by asking Romulus to remove him from your pack, I’d dealt with the issue, though clearly it was not. ”
“Did you know he was threatening Lucy?” Sebastian asked.
“I knew she wasn’t comfortable around him, but I wasn’t there the night of the first attack.
I was required elsewhere.” Regret tinged the spy mistress’s tone.
“If I had been there, I’d have put a stop to it, but since I wasn’t, and there was no way to connect the werewolf who attacked you to the one who’d made you so uncomfortable, my hands were tied.
I thought about revealing myself to you after that.
But, in the end, my cowardice overtook my heart. I continued to keep my distance.”
“So, why reveal yourself now?” Lucy demanded. “It’s not like I haven’t been fine on my own all these years.”
Lady Quinn offered a small smile. “You’ve been better than fine, dear. You’ve been incredible.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t planning to reveal myself. Ever. It wasn’t worth your safety.” She glanced at Robin, who glared right back. “Any of your safety. But then, the grand duke…”
Sebastian elbowed Oliver. “See? I knew it would eventually be your fault.”
Oliver smirked. “It always is, isn’t it?”
“The grand duke,” Lady Quinn continued, as if the two men hadn’t interrupted her, “suggested that you might be ideal in this mission. I couldn’t argue with him, not without giving you away. And once you met Robert, I knew he would start asking questions.”
“That was predictable, Mother,” Robin drawled.
“So, I thought the best way to get ahead of the questions you’d invariably have about your origins would be to tell you myself.” She grimaced. “I’d hoped you wouldn’t have the time to ask all these questions before the end of this mission, but, again, Robert—”
“Robin, Mother, dear,” he said through gritted teeth. “I know you’re trying to pretend you don’t know my secret, but give me some credit. I’ve seen a kitsuné sneaking around the edges of the company for months.”
“Robin, then,” Lady Quinn said, bowing her head. “Robin was like a dragon hanging on to his last gold piece. He wouldn’t let it go.” She studied him. “Tell me, dear, are you more angry that I didn’t tell you about your sister or that someone in your organization attacked her?”
“Neither. Both. I don’t know.” Robin raked his fingers through his hair. “Kit and I deserved to know about our sister. Father deserves to meet her.”
“And Lucy deserves a whole lot more than that,” Sebastian said. Though he was still holding Lucy loosely, his body was tense with anger.
She put her hand on her arm. “Sebastian, it’s fine.”
“No, it’s absolutely not fine!” Sebastian exploded.
“I don’t know if the last day or so has short-circuited your memory, but Oliver and I were there when you were losing your mind at two in the morning because another full moon had gone by and you hadn’t had your first transformation.
I remember that son of a—” He clenched his teeth together.
“He called you defective. More than once, I heard you say the same thing about yourself. And even after your first kitsuné transformation, you were still repeating the same lies to yourself. So, no, it’s not okay that she just now chose to tell you the truth. ”
Lady Quinn studied him for a moment. “An impassioned defense, Sir Sebastian.”
“Don’t call me that,” he growled. “I am not a knight of the realm at this moment. I am the man who loves your daughter more than anything in the world, and hearing her repeat those lies broke my heart. She may be too good to blame you for those aches, but I, most certainly, am not.”
The room went utterly silent. Lucy was certain her heart had stopped beating, even more so when it seemed Sebastian hadn’t realized what he’d said. “You…you love me?” she whispered.
Sebastian rested his forehead on hers. “More than anything in the world,” he repeated.
Oliver cleared his throat, reminding them they were not alone. “I think I speak for both Robert—Robin—whoever, that we both care for you as a sister, but I, for one, feel the same way.” He turned to Lady Quinn. “Lucy deserved to know the truth.”
The spy mistress’s face reddened, and, Lucy was distantly pleased to note, the flush was at least as unbecoming on her as it was on her daughter. “I can see that now, your grace,” she said stiffly. She glanced at Lucy. “Are you going to add your voice to this tirade?”
Lucy considered the question. “No. No, I don’t think I will,” she said, swinging her legs out of bed and stalking to the door with as much dignity as she could muster. “I don’t believe I have anything else to say at the moment.”
“Lucy!” She wasn’t sure which of the three men present had said it, but she wasn’t going to look back to find out.
Instead, she wrenched the door open and sailed outside with as much grace and poise as she possessed.
She managed to get the door closed and take three steps before the first tear fell.
Glancing around to make sure no one had seen it, she hurriedly wiped it away.
She needn’t have worried. The glade was still as still and quiet as it had been when she’d entered it a few days before.
The dark spell had lifted, allowing the peace back into the meadow.
Lucy sighed, flopping down on the grass as she struggled to keep any more tears from falling. She was better than this. She wouldn’t cry. Not now.
She had just lost the battle against another tear when she heard the door to the cottage creak open.
She glanced behind her, intent on seeing who had exited; if it was her new brother or mother, she was going to take off into the forest and blast the consequences.
She might even have considered it if it had been Oliver.
But, no, it was Sebastian. His hands were in his pocket. His fluttering wings were the only sign of his anxiety. “Do you want some company?” he asked.
Lucy shrugged. “Not from anyone else. But you, I’ll allow, since you apparently love me more than anything in the world.”
The fairy smirked. “Thank you for that,” he said, sitting down in the grass beside her. “Will you permit it?”
Lucy stared at him. “What?”
Sebastian stared at a tree in the distance. “I said I loved you, but you didn’t…you didn’t respond. So, I wondered, will you permit me to love you, even if you don’t love me?”
Lucy rested her head on his shoulder. “How would you have liked me to respond, in front of my new mother and brother and Oliver, who might as well have been another brother?”
Sebastian opened his mouth to respond, but, to her surprise, no words came out. They sat like that for a moment before he grumbled, “Fair enough, I suppose.”
“I love you too,” she whispered. “I’ve loved you since that first moment I saw you at Farraday, but I had to let my mind catch up with my heart. And, by the time it had, fate had ripped us away from each other.”
Another grumble from Sebastian. “Never again, Lucy love. I don’t care if your father says you can only marry someone from within your pack.
I want you.” She opened her mouth to respond, but he held up his hand.
“No, let me finish. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to help me stand up to my father and to open a shop together, with my designs and your paintings on display. And I want to hold you when you have nightmares and celebrate your success, to partner with you in all things, not just the big ones.”
A smile bloomed on Lucy’s face. “I want that, too,” she whispered. “If the last two days have taught me anything, it’s that time is precious. And I want to spend whatever we’ve got left together.”
Sebastian cupped her head with one hand as he trailed his fingers down her jaw. “That sounds perfect,” he whispered, bringing his lips to meet hers in an achingly tender kiss.
All too soon, they broke apart, and Sebastian helped her to her feet. “Well, my lady,” he said, whispering in her ear, “we should be going. From what your new brother said, we have a competition to win.”