Chapter 22
“Quinn, I honestly didn’t know. He told me he was creating PR ops for you, and that they would seem more natural if you didn’t think they were staged. I swear, I had no idea that he was planning anything so dangerous. Never. I couldn’t even imagine!”
I should never have answered my phone, but I’m not as angry as I was when I first found out what she’d done.
I think it’s still fundamentally changed something between us, though.
I always thought I could trust her to know what was best for my career, and now I’m not even sure about that.
Colt and the others would prefer that I go no contact, but she’s been my manager for so long.
That doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven her, or that I’m ready to see her in person. “You still went behind my back? I was scared when I got those messages, Mom, and all you said was that you would handle it.”
“Baby, I hate it when we argue. I know you want space, but we’re going to figure this out, okay?”
And here I thought she might’ve been about to actually say she was sorry.
She’s lucky the sun is out and Erika’s waiting for me on the balcony with margaritas, courtesy of Colt’s superior drink mixing skills.
I’m in an exceptionally good mood or I wouldn’t have picked up the phone in the first place.
This was the third time she tried to call me today and I was getting sick of it ringing.
“It’s Friday, it’s nice out and I have Erika over.
That should at least make you happy. We can do dinner on Monday.
I just need some space to cool down so I don’t say anything I regret.
” I think she wants to keep trying, but I say goodbye and hang up.
When I come outside, Erika hands me my drink, and the world is already better.
“Don’t be a pushover,” Colt says from the kitchen. He’s leaning against the island. “Every time you let her get her way, she learns that if she just pushes enough, you’re gonna let her stomp all over you. You don’t owe her shit.” He takes a sip from his beer.
Erika wets her lips and looks like she wants to say something, but maybe isn’t sure it’s her place to do so. She takes a sip, then goes for it. “As the one who ended up in the river, I’m on your side. Definitely not acceptable. Your bodyguard’s right.”
It’s weird to talk to people about this.
I’m used to dealing with Mom on my own. It’s nice, but it also makes me feel exposed in a way I sort of hate.
There’s no pulling the curtain closed again if the vulnerability gets too much.
“I know. But she’s my family and we’ve been through a lot together.
I owe her enough that I can’t just drop her, you know? ”
“Owe her?” Colt snorts. “Taking care of your kid just means being a fucking parent. That’s the bare fucking minimum. Barely worth a participation trophy.”
The doorbell rings, interrupting us. It’s not Priest and Sinner.
They know the code and aren’t shy about using it.
I go to answer, but Colt puts out an arm to stop me.
He checks the doorcam, then waves me over.
Chatting together on the other side are Paige and Jess from the club, along with a couple of other women I haven’t met.
“Should I let them in?” Colt questions me with a raised eyebrow.
Struggling to keep a straight face, I ask, “Are they dangerous?”
“Yes, but only because they’ve probably got ideas and will talk your fucking ear off.”
“I’ll take the risk.”
He opens the door. “Ladies.”
Paige points for the others’ benefit. “See? I told you? An actual TV star, and we know her!”
“Um, hi?” I glance over my shoulder. “Sorry Erika, I didn’t know they were coming over. Is it okay?”
She shrugs. “If it’s safe for you, it’s no problem for me.”
“Can we come in? There’s a bunch of stuff downstairs still. We wanted to make sure you were up for visitors before we went too crazy.”
“Sure. Um, what’s going on?” Behind Jess and Paige, another woman and a young girl are holding what looks like a TV table.
The girl, a cute blonde who’s probably in her mid-teens, shifts her grip and winces. “Hi! I’m Anne. You guys are awesome. Really excited to meet you and all, but can we bring this in already?”
The introductions wait as me, Colt, and Erika pitch in to help bring everything up.
It turns out that there were more bikers waiting downstairs with the things, and pretty soon there’s a big pile of stuff in my living room, some in boxes, some in bags and even a few plastic laundry bins.
It reminds me of when I saw students moving in and out of the dorms at school, and honestly it’s a little overwhelming.
When everything’s inside my apartment, Paige leans back on the kitchen counter and finally takes a breath.
“Okay, before you freak out, you don’t have to keep any of this stuff.
After we met, Jess and I sort of organized a housewarming drive.
It’s nice of the men to bring you a bed and a TV, but I didn’t trust them to think about literally anything else and I hated the idea of you living here like some middle-aged, divorced dad. ”
A tall man in a Stetson hat tips the brim towards us. “I’m Tex. If they get to be too much, feel free to kick their asses to the curb.”
Jess laughs. “Shut up. We’re going to be best friends.”
He literally lifts Jess off the floor to give her a borderline indecent kiss before leaving, but nobody seems to mind. “You all good, honey? We’ll pick you up later.”
“Definitely. Thanks.”
“Oh, right. I’m so freaking rude.” Paige points to herself.
“You know me and Jess. Anne is basically Jess’s little sister.
That’s Willow.” She points to a short woman in a flowy peasant skirt with wavy sun-lightened hair.
Willow waves. “And that’s Dakota. She’s the latest addition to our little family here. ”
The way they are together reminds me of what Mila said.
That the women in the MC stuck together.
That sort of girlhood solidarity is something I’ve seen over and over on the screen, but never really experienced.
Can you long for something and be afraid of it at the same time?
That’s how I feel. Like wanting to plunge into the ocean on a hot day, but not being able to see the bottom.
“Not anymore,” Anne points out. “Quinn would be the newest.”
“Oh, um, I’m not…” This is awkward. “Hi. I guess everyone sort of knows about me already, but I’m Quinn, and this is Erika.”
“I’m so sorry. They told me to be cool but I just need to get this out of my system and then I’ll be totally normal.” Paige lets out a tiny squee. “I looooove the show. You guys are so good in it and I can’t believe we’re here just sort of, hanging out.”
Erika grins. “Do you want a picture?”
“Yes. Absolutely yes,” Paige says with an eager nod.
Colt does the honors, taking a picture with Paige between me and Erika, all three of us smiling and throwing peace signs. It starts a chain reaction, Anne breaking next, and even the others who I don’t think have watched yet getting in on the fun.
I look at all the stuff in the living room.
“I don’t even know what to say. This is…
I really don’t know. You’re so kind.” I don’t know exactly what they’ve brought, but even just the thought is overwhelming.
“This is kind of my first apartment,” I admit.
“I’ve always just lived with my Mom before. ”
Jess nods. “I know what you mean. Anne and I were pretty lost at first. If it wasn’t for Bonnie I think I would’ve had a breakdown.”
“Who’s Bonnie?”
“My Mom, well, foster mom,” Anne pipes in. “She’s kind of grouchy but pretty awesome. After Tex and the other guys kidnapped us, she—”
Paige claps her hands. “Attention! Nobody is allowed to start talking about how they ended up in the club until after we go through the things. Otherwise we’re going to be here all night and miss the party.
” She pulls out her phone and opens an app with a checklist. “First step, let’s go through everything and put the ‘absolutely nots’ to the side. ”
I don’t usually cry. I can tear up on command, which is handy during filming, but I’m usually able to hold them back even when I get emotional. This is not one of those times. “You guys are being so kind. I don’t know how I’m ever going to—”
“Nope! All of this is stuff we either had at home or scavenged from the storerooms. You’re doing us a favor by taking it, so use what you want for however long you want it and don’t feel bad if you replace it later. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“It’s true. I took over my grandmother’s house last year and after I finally went through everything I had like three sets of kitchen stuff. She had a good eye, but she loved yard sales a little too much,” Willow says.
By the time the whirlwind has passed through my apartment, the coffee table is back in place and the TV has an actual stand, I have a new armchair, throw pillows and a blanket for the couch, a whole mess of mismatched cutlery, cooking utensils and pots and pans, and even art on the walls.
Erika and I try to help, but we’re mostly left to point and give advice while the rest of the team gets to work.
Willow and Jess hung up a black and white picture series of shirtless bikers posing next to their bikes along highways with dramatic backdrops, like cityscapes, mountains or a giant bridge.
I’m pretty sure they’re not Outlaw Sons, but they sure are nice to look at.
Not as nice as the real thing, though. I glance over at Colt who’s been staying out of the way when not asked to lift, reach or hammer.
Anne comes up to us as Dakota and Jess argue about where to put the various knick-knacks and decorations. Things I’ve never even thought of but help make the apartment feel less like a box and more like a home. “Um, I was wondering…” She chews her bottom lip.
“It’s okay.” Erika smiles from the bar stool she has perched herself on. “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if I could have your autographs.” She pulls out two promo posters, one of Erika and one of me, both of us in our costumes.
“Of course. I remember the day we had to take those shots. It was so freaking warm in the studio, and they didn’t have my costume properly fitted yet, so my corset was pinned together in the back.
One of the pins popped mid-shoot and I think there’s a video somewhere of the exact moment it happened. ”
Erika laughs. “God, yeah, that was miserable. The joys of being an actor. The shots came out good though. You look badass.”
Anne nods while we both put our own flourish on our respective posters. “You both do. I really love your show. Is there going to be another season? I read that you talked about book three stuff with the guy from Saving the Blog. Is that true?” Her eyes are bright beacons of hope.
“We don’t know,” I say. “I hope so.”
Dakota plops what looks like a giant pink tackle-box on the kitchen island. “Who wants their nails done for tonight before I sit down and lose the motivation to keep going?”
“Can I get in on it even though I’m not going?” Erika asks. I think she’s meeting Toby later, but I don’t want to spill the beans in front of fans.
Starting with nails turns into a makeover production that would put any film setup to shame.
I might not have had much in the way of furniture, but my wardrobe and makeup selection are second to none.
We’re all getting the biker princess look whether we want to or not.
Heavier on the eye shadow, and smokier than I’m used to, a much sexier, deep red on the lips that Jess insists is waterproof and won’t come off, no matter how much it is rubbed, to the amusement of all the girls.
By the time Erika has to leave, we’re all done up.
I’ve ended up in a modified version of my Desdemona outfit, with skintight leather pants and a sexy bandeau top that will look kick-ass under the jacket.
I’m a little worried about the lack of a bra, but Colt doesn’t seem to mind as he’s subtly smiling at me from across the room, wisely keeping out of the way.
Is this what family feels like? Wild and funny and kind and—nope. If I start crying again, I’ll ruin my makeup.
Paige is the last one out when they’re finally picked up by their bikers.
She gives me a hug. “I hope we didn’t just scare you off.
I won’t be around too much tonight because of the baby, but I wanted to do this for you.
I know we didn’t get into it too much, but I want you to know that all of us have some sort of story behind how we ended up together, and most of us have been through a lot to get where we are.
We don’t have to be best friends or anything, but so long as you’re here, you’ll never be alone. ”
All I can do is nod.
When the door shuts, Colt pulls me close. “You okay? They can be a lot when they get going.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” I look up at him, feeling a little golden kernel of emotion that I want to hide away so I can peek at it later. “How do I look?”
He grins. “If I didn’t have a party to take you to, I’d be throwing you over that couch.”
“Right on the new pillows?” I gasp. “Promise?”