Chapter Seven
The ranch is quiet when we arrive. Too quiet. Hannah isn’t here, and I wonder if this is one of those moments I realize that the last time I heard Hannah laugh is the last time I’ll ever listen to her laugh again.
Clawing panic wells up inside me. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to tell a little girl that her mom isn’t coming home.
“Poppy?”
I stare up at the house as the door swings open, and I feel it welcome me home. It can tell something is wrong, but I don’t think it’s figured it out yet. Will it grieve Dawn’s loss? Will it blame me, too? I take a step toward it as I hear the guys talking behind me.
“Poppy?”
I turn robotically to Shepard. He wraps his arms around me. My body feels stiff and unyielding. I don’t know how to soften it for him. I’m scared that if I don’t hold everything tight, I’ll crumble again.
“I have to go. God, I wish I could stay. But I need to take care of Dawn now, for you and for Hannah,” he says softly, his words tearing through me as the bullet did through her.
I tip my head back. Tears flood my eyes once more at his gentle tone, the sadness in his expression reflecting my own. “You’ll take good care of her, yeah?”
“The best. I promise.”
I nod shakily as he bends down and presses his lips to my forehead. “Do you know anything about her family?”
I pull back and sigh. “Her parents were devoutly religious. I don’t know if they’re still alive.
But if they are, I have the distinct feeling they had nothing to do with Dawn and Hannah.
They’ve never come up in conversation other than when Dawn mentions how they told her she would either marry Porter or they’d kick her out after she found out she was pregnant. ”
He curses. “If I had a dollar for every time I heard that same bullshit.”
I don’t doubt that for a second.
“I need you to call Jen. I know she worked with Dawn on legal stuff after she left Porter. Or I can call her. Whatever you want, but Poppy, this can’t wait. We potentially have grandparents and Porter now who’ll seek custody of Hannah.”
“Over my dead body!” I hiss.
“Yeah, well, I for one don’t want it to come to that. Call Jen. See what she says. Dawn was smart. She’d have had a contingency plan in case something like this happened.”
I swallow and nod. He’s right. I think back to the very first time she mentioned Porter killing her. She knew. She always knew, and I was so fucking adamant I could keep her safe.
As if reading my mind, he slides his hands up my arms and cups my jaw. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was.”
“Poppy…” He swallows, looking for the right words. “Porter came here a dozen times, and he never got his hands on her. He never even came close. I’m not blaming Dawn in this, not at all, but she chose to leave the ranch today. She chose to go to the meeting even knowing she was exposing herself.”
“I should have made her stay, or forced her to…” My voice drifts off as I realize what I said.
He smiles sadly at me. “She wasn’t a prisoner. You gave her the one thing he took away. Her freedom. The only person to blame here is the shooter.”
“You mean Porter.”
“I didn’t see who shot her. I have to follow the evidence, regardless of what I believe. I will find Porter, though. And if he did this, I’ll make sure he’s locked away for the rest of his life.”
I know he means well, but he can’t promise that. Besides, why should he get to live when Dawn doesn’t?
“That hat you found was his.”
“Was it the only one ever made?”
My mouth snaps shut because we both know it wasn’t.
“I’m not ruling him out. Far from it. He is, as of right now, my prime suspect. But I also have to consider that people would know that. The hat could have been planted to further cast suspicions in Porter’s direction.”
My head spins. I never thought about that, and I should have. I still think it’s Porter, though. I’d be an idiot not to. He’s the one with a personal vendetta against Dawn.
“But just saying, if I can’t get him for this, I’ll get him for something else.
Jen has been sending me information about missing funds from the time he managed this place, among other things.
I’ve been going through it all, but there was a fucking lot of it to dig through.
And I wanted to make sure I crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s because some people will say I’m too close to the case to be investigating it. ”
“And what will you say to that?”
“I’m the sheriff of a small town. I’m too close to every case I investigate. You’re my woman, these are my people. I shared drinks and had dinner with dozens of citizens here. I’ve celebrated births and stood by graves to mourn. I am too close, but that just means I’m more invested than most.”
I nod, understanding what he’s saying. Truth is, the last thing we need right now is someone new coming in and taking over.
“I could always have your father’s grave exhumed. I’d be really interested in seeing the look on the faces of everyone when they learn the truth.”
I give him a smile at that. “Maybe.”
“We’ll keep it on the back burner for now.” He sighs before kissing me gently. I feel the other guys step up behind me, so I can only guess that Shepard signaled them. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call and check in. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
His warm hand cups my jaw for a moment as he stares into my eyes. Then he’s gone, and I’m bundled into the house by Riggs and Austin.
“I’ll make you hot chocolate,” Austin offers. My brain flashes back fifteen years.
“And I’ll make food. You should eat something,” Riggs tells me, sweeping my hair back from my shoulder.
I nod, needing some air. “I’ll be out back,” I murmur, leaving them to it. They’re just trying to help, but all the hot chocolate and sandwiches in the world won’t fix this.
Walking down the hallway, images float before me—Dawn chasing Hannah, who is laughing wildly. Dawn sipping coffee from the back deck. Dawn asleep on the sofa in the den, a book in her lap and a blanket over her always-cold feet.
The back door swings wide, and I stumble out, sucking in a lungful of air, the band around my chest loosening just a little.
I see movement out of the corner of my eye and look over to find Christian walking toward me, his hat in his hand.
He jogs up the steps, and before I can speak, he has me in his arms.
“Jackie called. I’m so damn sorry, sweetheart.”
His sweetheart is my undoing. I sob into his shoulder for a few minutes before Belle walks over and joins our huddle, crying quietly beside me.
Before I know it, the ranch hands that Riggs hired, who mostly keep to themselves, have circled us almost protectively, hats in hands, heads bowed in respect. That sets me off all over again.
I pull away and wipe my eyes as I turn to face everyone.
“Thank you. Dawn was a wonderful woman who deserved so much better than the life she had. She was so much happier here, on this ranch with all of us, in the last few months than she had been for a long time. Thank you all for being kind to her and careful,” I say to the men.
I’d seen some of them, recognizing how skittish she could be, give her space and try really hard to seem non-threatening.
“When I came back to Crowhurst, I thought to sell off the cattle ranch side of things completely. It reminded me of my father, and I didn’t want any part of that.
It was Riggs who told me to wait and let my feelings settle before I made any rash decisions.
Of course, the man was right. It was he who hired you guys while I was in the hospital because I’d been dragging my feet.
I didn’t have good experiences with most of the people who worked here over the years.
” I reach out and squeeze Christian’s arm, knowing he was one of the exceptions to the rule.
“You guys restored my faith in people a little.” I swallow around a lump in my throat, my palms damp with nerves.
“I know you’ve heard about Dawn. But I don’t know if you heard the rest…
about me, about what I can do. About who I am,” I whisper.
“If you haven’t, you will. And I’ll understand if you want to leave.
I promise, there will be no hard feelings. ”
“We’re not going anywhere, lass,” Hank, one of the oldest ranch hands, says.
I bite my lip before I hold my palm up and make a spark appear. As it trails and dances across my skin, I lock eyes with Hank, who has a look of awe in his eyes. “Even if people come with pitchforks?”
“I carry a gun, ma’am. What the fuck is a pitchfork gonna do?”
I bark out a surprised laugh as he moves in closer. “As I said, we’re not going anywhere. Right, boys?”
“Nope.”
“Hell no.”
“Can’t get rid of us that easy.”
I look around at them all, fighting back stupid tears once more. “Why? You’re acting like working for a witch is normal.”
“Normal is overrated. You treat us well, Miss Hart,” Tim, the youngest of the crew, states.
“You give us a shit-ton of benefits most other places don’t,” Peter, another guy, adds.
“And it feels good here,” Tim says. Everyone turns to look at him. He shrugs. “What? It’s true. It feels like visiting family every time I come to work. You just don’t get that anywhere else.”
“Hell, he’s right. I like this family better than my own,” Karl, one of the others, jokes, making the men laugh.
“Does it hurt?” Belle asks, pointing at my hand.
“No. Well, not me anyway.”
She grins, stepping forward in fascination.
I make the spark disappear so she doesn’t reach out and hurt herself. She looks up at me sheepishly.
“Just so we’re clear, you won’t turn us into frogs if we annoy you?” Christian teases.
I roll my eyes. “Now, why would I turn you into a frog when I could turn you into an adorable chocolate lab?”
His mouth drops open in surprise, making me laugh. I immediately feel guilty about it.
“Hey, no. It’s okay to laugh and to smile in the face of shittiness. Dawn was proof of that. She smiled even when it re-split that damn lip of hers. She laughed even when it pulled her ribs. Little Hannah is gonna need that now more than ever.”
My shoulders slump, but I nod.
“It’s a cruel joke, I know, but life goes on for those of us left behind. We mourn her, carry her with us, and we never forget the way she touched our lives. But we do a disservice to the dead if we don’t live the lives they never got to, out of some misguided sense of guilt.”
I know Christian is talking about more than just Dawn, so I nod and offer him a small smile. “I’m going to take Willow out for a bit. Get some air.”
“I can go get her ready for you,” Belle offers.
I shake my head, knowing how cranky Willow can be with others. “I’ve got it, but thank you. When the guys come looking for me, tell them I won’t be long.”
“You’ve got it, sweetheart,” Christian tells me as I stroll down to the stable.
I grab a chunk of carrot and head down to Willow. She neighs when she sees me. I feed her the carrot as I open up her stall and let her out. “Hey, pretty girl. You wanna get out of here for a little while?”
She makes a chuffing sound and nods, making me smile.
“Okay.”
I press my head against hers, and she holds steady, sensing my sadness.
I feel her trying to soothe me, but I’m not sure I’m ready to be soothed just yet.
I get her ready to go and climb on, giving her a kiss before I click my tongue.
She takes over, knowing what I want. I shut out everything and everyone and just ride.
Willow picks up speed, moving faster and faster until the world becomes a blur.
By the time she slows down, my face is damp with tears, but my heart feels a little lighter.
A knocking sound hits my brain, making me sigh. I wait for Willow to stop before I slide off her. I look around to make sure I’m alone and then pull my power to the surface. The house reacts, stroking an imaginary hand over my head in comfort. Somehow it now knows about Dawn.
I climb over the fence and walk through the flowers, moving to the section that holds the deadliest. Sitting beside it, I trail my fingers over jade green leaves and tiny purple flowers when I hear his footsteps.
“I was worried,” Austin admits as he sits down beside me.
“I’m fine.”
“And yet you’re stroking a plant that would kill most people.”
“I’m not most people.”
“I know,” he says softly.
He’s quiet for a moment, so I let my eyes close and listen to the soothing sounds of the pasture. The slight breeze rustling the flowers, the hum of bees pollinating them, and the chirp of crickets basking in the waning light.
“Riggs called Jen.”
“Shit, I forgot.”
“It’s okay. He has it covered. Jen talked to David. He’s keeping Hannah overnight. She’s excited to have a sleepover with the girls. Jen will pick her up tomorrow and bring her home.”
I nod and swallow. She deserves that. One last night as a carefree child before it’s all ripped away from her.
“I know now is not the time, but—”
“If you ask me what’s going to happen now between you and me, I’ll thump you.”
“Okay, that’s fair.”
I sigh, rubbing my hand down my face. I look over at him and find his eyes on me. “I don’t know where we go from here. There is no book on how to get over shit like this.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Because you’re looking at me for answers I don’t have.”
“I just don’t want you to hate me anymore.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“Do you want me to leave? The ranch, I mean.”
“Would you go if I said yes?”
“Probably not.”
“You’re so lucky my powers don’t work on you right now.”
“I have a machete you can borrow.”
“Of course you do. I forgot who I was talking to for a second.” Actually, that thought brings me up short. “You said you got out of the business. Could you find Porter without all those resources?”
“I said I got out of that business. Not that I was out of business completely.”
I sigh, fighting the urge to take him up on his machete offer.
“I can find him, but I don’t doubt Shepard can too.”
“Shepard wants him in jail. I want him in a casket.”
“You want me to get him? I will.”
“Even if it means keeping it from Shepard?”
He rolls his eyes. “Shepard is your boyfriend. Not mine. The question is, what do you want me to do with Porter when I have him?”
“You have somewhere you can hold him for me?”
He looks at me like I’m being dumb.
“Right. Keep him locked up for me. I need to get a few things ready first.”
“You gonna share?”
“Not just yet.”
“Tease.”
I shake my head.
“So about us…”
“I’d stop speaking now before the last chain holding back my rage snaps.”
That shuts him up, and wisely, he doesn’t argue.
I walk toward the fence where Willow waits and climb over, spotting the huge stallion, Kyro, beside her. Willow side eyes him, daring him to mess with her.
“Yeah, I feel you, girl.”
Willow tosses her mane and waits for me to climb up before we take off, not bothering to wait for Austin. He found his own way here. He can find his own way back.