Chapter Ten
Istroke Hannah’s hair as she sleeps, her head resting on the pillow of her new bed in her new room. I worried it would be too much too soon, but I couldn’t leave her out in the bunkhouse alone.
Thankfully, she was more curious than anything.
She’s still subdued—of course she is—but she’s being a trouper.
We spent some time outside today when I got back from the meeting, planting flowers.
When we were done, I helped Hannah pick a bunch she liked and made a bouquet for her mom.
We put them in a vase in the center of the kitchen island, where everyone could see them.
After she had a bath and I braided her hair, I tucked her into bed and picked up the book her mother had been reading to her, continuing where she had left off.
Looking down at her angelic face, I feel so fucking lost and out of my depth.
The fear of messing this kid up claws at my insides.
I have no damn business being a mom. I have no idea what to do.
How do I not fuck this kid up? She’s already been through far too much, and I don’t know what to do to make things better. Or if I ever can.
I slowly get up from the bed, reluctant to leave. I only trust that she’s safe when I can see her. Sound coming from down the hall has me turning to see Riggs coming toward me.
“How is she?”
“I have no clue. She seems okay. Quiet but okay. Is that normal? I don’t want her sobbing in the corner, but I don’t know if that’s exactly what she should be doing.”
“I think there is no hard and fast rule about grieving, especially not when it comes to kids. We’ll find her someone to talk to. That will help her process everything and give us pointers on how to help. But for now, do what you do best.”
“And what’s that?”
“Love her.”
I sigh when he steps up to me, and I face plant against him.
“Let’s head downstairs and get a drink. She needs to rest, and if we keep hovering around, we might disturb her.”
I sigh again, knowing he’s right. I pull the door to Hannah’s room closed before letting him lead me downstairs.
We head to the kitchen just as an awareness pings in my head.
I frown when I feel another and another until my head is filled with static.
It doesn’t hurt, but it’s confusing. I have no damn clue what the house is trying to tell me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly and head toward the door.
He follows behind me as my power crackles at my fingertips.
I’m ready to defend Hannah and Riggs with everything I have, though I’m not sensing hostility.
I yank the door open, ready to face the devil if need be, and come to such an abrupt stop that Riggs almost plows into the back of me.
“Whoa, you okay? What’s going on….” His voice drifts off when he looks over my shoulder and sees what I’m seeing. “Jesus.”
People. More people than were at the town meeting earlier are gathering around the porch with candles burning in little glass jars. I feel myself choking up as Riggs wraps his arms around me and rests his head on top of mine.
For once, I’m at a loss for words as people come to pay their respects to a woman who, in life, felt so alone, and yet her death has brought a whole community together. By the time the last people arrive for the vigil, the whole front of the property is illuminated in a warm, comforting glow.
Someone, I don’t know who, starts singing a song I don’t recognize. Something about a person’s light being too much for this world, and I start to crumble until a soft voice calls my name from behind me.
“Calliope?”
I whirl around and find Hannah in her unicorn PJs with her teddy under her arm. I get down on my knees and hold my arms open a moment before she runs into them. I hold her tight, fighting to hold back my tears as the singer’s voice carries on the wind.
“What’s happening?” Hannah asks, her head turning to look at everyone. I have to ignore the people openly crying now, triggered by Hannah’s arrival, or I’ll lose it myself.
“These people came to say goodbye to your mommy.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Your mom was a special woman, Hannah, and all these people wanted you to know how much they cared about her.”
Hannah turns in my arms, looking out at everyone.
She surprises the shit out of me when she tugs herself free and walks across the deck to the crowd, who watch her like she’s some kind of apparition.
She takes herself down the steps, the crowd parting for a moment as if waiting with bated breath to see what she will do next.
When she starts walking down the line, saying thank you to each person she passes, I sob, unable to hold it back a second longer. Riggs pulls me up and holds onto me as he keeps his eye on Hannah, giving me a moment to get myself together.
It isn’t until Riggs lets out a frustrated sigh that I turn around to see what’s wrong and spot Austin walking through the gap the crowd has made. As soon as Hannah spots him, she runs to him. He scoops her up as she wraps her arms and legs around him, burying her face in his neck.
“That kid makes it hard for me to hate him,” Riggs admits.
Hannah loves each of my guys. And she missed the hell out of Austin.
She doesn’t care about the fractured dynamics between us.
All she cares about is how they treat her, and there is no denying that they all treat her like a princess.
Lord help the boy who wants to date her when she has three uncles ready to start a war to keep her safe.
Austin climbs the steps to stand next to me. “I heard something was going on up here. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t expect this.”
“None of us did. It’s beautiful, though.”
Hannah turns her head to look at me. “Mommy loved candles.”
“Yeah? You think she’d have liked this?”
She nods.
“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”
“Want me to take her back inside?” Austin offers.
“I’ll do it,” Riggs jumps in. His trust in Austin is iffy at best.
Austin doesn’t argue. He presses a kiss to Hannah’s head before easing her into Riggs’s arms.
“I’ll be right back,” Riggs tells me, though it doubles as a warning for Austin.
“Okay.” I lean forward and kiss Hannah. “Night, Cookie.”
She smiles at me as her eyes drift closed. I watch her and Riggs until they disappear inside, then face the crowd once more.
“Thank you all for coming. I wasn’t expecting it. This is truly beautiful, and I think it’s something Hannah will remember forever.”
I don’t have anything else to say that hasn’t already been said, and I think people realize that.
They come up to offer their condolences before leaving and heading home for the night.
And just like Hannah, I show them grace by thanking each of them, even those I know still don’t particularly like me.
This isn’t about me. It’s about Dawn and, by extension, Hannah.
Riggs is back out before the last of the stragglers leave, so I stand sandwiched between him and Austin as the last of the taillights disappear from view.
“Guess there is still some humanity left in this place after all,” Austin says.
Riggs grunts, but he doesn’t argue, which I guess is a win. “Let’s get you inside. It’s been a long day.”
I nod at him before turning to Austin. I know he wants me to invite him in, but I don’t have the brain capacity to deal with our bullshit. Not tonight. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
He stares at me for a long moment without saying anything before he nods and jogs down the steps. I blow out a rough breath, exhaustion catching up to me.
Riggs doesn’t miss a beat. “Go upstairs and get ready for bed. I’ll make sure everything is locked up before I join you.”
I nod and do what he says, dragging myself upstairs where I strip out of my clothes and toss them in the hamper before crawling into bed naked.
I tug the blanket up over me and feel myself drifting off before Riggs even makes it upstairs.
I feel him climb into bed beside me, neither of us caring about the potential night tremors anymore, knowing that if he does have an episode, I can handle him.
He yanks me to him, wrapping his arm around me and sliding his leg over mine, effectively pinning me in place before he buries his face in my hair.
“I love you, Opie.”
“Love you too.”
The house stirs, making my eyes blink open. I lie still, getting my bearings, as the bedroom door opens. I recognize the gait of Shepard’s walk as he approaches the bed. I roll over and flip on the side lamp.
“Hey,” I greet him sleepily.
He bends down and kisses me softly before standing up and removing his gun belt and badge.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d crash at your place or not, with it being closer and all to the station.”
“I can’t sleep without you.”
I smile at him as he strips, tired, but not too tired to enjoy the view.
“How’s Hannah?”
“Hanging in there.”
“I saw the vigil outside. Some of those candles are still burning bright. Should I be worried about the potential fire hazard?”
I shake my head. “Take your sheriff’s hat off, Shep. The house will let me know if there is an issue.”
He grunts but doesn’t put up a fight when I pull back the covers and make space for him to slide in beside me. I lift my head and lay it on his chest as I feel Riggs move closer in his sleep. Somehow, he always senses when I move away.
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“What? Home?”
I feel him nod. “I know I still have my place, but that’s all it ever was. A place to crash. A place to eat. It’s different here. I look forward to coming back each day, even if I have to share a bed with another dude.”
The laughter that erupts from me wakes Riggs and makes Shepard start laughing too.
“What’s going on?” Riggs asks, disgruntled, which sets me off again.
I keep laughing until I find myself being dragged off Shepard by Riggs, who climbs on top of me and lifts my arms above my head, pinning me in place.