Chapter Eleven
Iopen my eyes and frown at the ceiling. The room is pitch black dark. Both Riggs and Shepard are fast asleep beside me, so it takes me a minute to figure out what woke me. It isn’t until I feel the gentle knock in my head again that I realize it’s Austin.
Shit, that knocking thing is going to get really old, really fast. I climb out of bed, carefully as I can, not wanting to disturb either of them.
I throw on a pair of yoga pants and Riggs’s discarded T-shirt before heading down.
I peek in on Hannah first and smile when I see her fast asleep with her hands tucked under her cheek.
I close the door again and creep downstairs as the house stirs.
I run my fingers down the wall in reassurance as I head to the door, deactivate the alarm, and pull it open.
Austin stands there in his black hat, black shirt, and black jeans. If it were not for some of the candles from the vigil providing a small amount of light, he would be virtually impossible to see.
“Austin, what are you doing here?”
He grabs hold of me and pulls me close, slamming his mouth down on mine before I can protest. I hold myself stiff, still confused about how I feel. Eventually, I give in, softening in his arms until I melt into his embrace.
When he pulls back and looks down at me, I sigh, shoving him back a little. “You done? Can I go back to bed now?”
“I got him. I’ve got Porter.”
I freeze. “You’re shitting me.”
“Nope. I thought it might be easier for you to slip away at night than answer questions about where you’re going during the day.”
I mean, he’s not wrong. I bite my lip. The guys will be pissed and worried if they wake up and find me gone, not to mention how Hannah would feel. “Can you keep hold of him? Make him fucking sweat for a bit.”
“I can make his accommodations as shitty as you want me to.”
I smirk. “I need him alive, but I don’t need him healthy.”
“Done. The question is, if I do this for you, what’s in it for me?”
“Really?”
“Fuck yes. I’m not going down without a fight, and if that means a little blackmail between us, then so be it.”
“Dammit, Austin. What do you want?”
“What do you think I want? I want you. That’s all I care about.”
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”
“You can. You’re just not done punishing me. I get it, but I’m not willing to let you go, even if that means you hate me.”
“Do you have any idea how fucking toxic this is?”
“Yeah, Cece, I’m well aware. Ask me if I care.”
I rub my eyes, trying to decide if it’s worth it. I could tell him to forget it and let Porter go. Shepard will pick him up and—
“Fuck.” I can’t do that. I made a promise to Dawn to make it hurt, and I intend to keep it. If that means I have to debase myself to a man whom I want to stab fifty percent of the time, then so be it.
“Fine. You do what I ask of you every step of the way when it comes to Porter, and you never pose a risk to anyone I care about, whether that’s Riggs, Shepard, Hannah, or any of my friends, then you can have me too.”
“I could just take you for myself, fly you away to some tropical island where clothes are optional. You’d forget about everyone eventually.”
“You really don’t know me at all if you think that’s true.”
He looks disgruntled for a moment, making me wonder if he really thought I’d say yes to that asinine idea, but eventually he sighs and agrees. “Fine. But the second he’s dead, I want you on your knees with my cock in your mouth.”
I cock an eyebrow at him.
He folds his arms. “They’re in there, in your bed, in your body, in your fucking heart while I’m out here without you.”
“You know why it’s like this, Austin. Maybe it’s not fair to you, but you don’t get to tell me how to deal with my trauma, trauma you caused, whether you were coherent or not. So yeah, it’s not fair, but I’m not setting fire to you either, so it could always be worse.”
He huffs out a frustrated laugh. “Fine. When will I see you?”
“It will probably be a couple of days. I’m waiting for Shepard to get permission to exhume Porter’s body.”
“Why does that matter?”
“Because it’s fucking poetic to bury the man in his own grave, no?”
“I am so hard right now,” he mutters. I poke him in the ribs, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me close, sliding his hand down to feel his cock. “This is what I’m like every time I’m around you.”
“I have no control over the bond. That’s just something you’re going to have to deal with, no matter what happens between us.”
“It’s not just the bond. It’s you. Even if you had no powers, I would still want you. Don’t you get that? I don’t want anything else from you, Cece. I’ve taken more than enough. I want you to let me spend the rest of my life giving back.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“Says who? The same people who would say a relationship between you and three men won’t work either? You just spent the night with a cop on one side of you and a gangbanger on the other. I think we can safely say the rule book has been thrown out the window.”
“Ex-gangbanger. Look, whatever happens, I don’t want your shit to touch Hannah. Bond or not, I will kill you.”
“I told you, I’m out of that side of things. When you’ve been in the game as long as I have, you realize there are much more lucrative things to sell than drugs and weapons.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“Information.”
I mull over what he’s saying. But at the end of the day, I’d be a hypocrite if I said anything else. He never lied about who he was, and he’s already made a conscious effort to change his life so it fits more seamlessly with mine, something I never asked of the other two.
“Okay. I’m going back to bed before the others realize I’m gone and come looking for me. I’ll be in touch.”
“You’d better, because I only have so much patience, Calliope.”
I salute him before stepping inside, grinning when the door slams in his face.
Rubbing my eyes, I make my way to the back door.
I walk outside and breathe in the night air, enjoying the stillness.
The moon is full and high in the sky, illuminating the whole area.
Humming softly, I head down the steps barefoot.
Nothing will hurt me. I need to clear my head and reconnect to this place, so I start walking.
I’m deliciously sore in places, but I don’t let that stop me as I take in the beauty that we’ve created here.
Everything is in full bloom, and the smell is amazing.
If I thought I could get away with it, I’d lie down here and sleep under the stars, but the guys might think I was having a breakdown of some sort.
I end up at the pasture that houses my deadly plants, taking a few cuttings I need for a recipe or two.
Once I’m done, I move to another pasture.
This one is newer. The soil has been freshly turned in places where the plants and young seedlings are growing.
This is the pasture that contains the endangered plants I’ve managed to source.
I’m hoping that if I can make them prosper here, I can transfer some out so they prosper in other places, but we shall see. It’s still early.
I don’t realize how much time I’ve spent out here until the sky starts to lighten. With a curse, I head back inside, taking the plants I gathered to my workshop, which, thanks to Riggs, now has a lock on it to keep Hannah out.
It takes me another hour to whip up the potions using the flowers before they need to sit and rest. I clean up after myself, and instead of heading back to bed, I make my way to the kitchen.
Even if the guys aren’t up soon, the ranch hands will begin arriving within the next hour or so.
I set about making breakfast for everyone, and by the time the house lets me know someone’s here, the first batch is ready.
I head out and see it’s Hank. He climbs out and eyes me with concern. “Is everything okay? Oh wow.” He takes in the remnants of the vigil and removes his hat, holding it to his chest as a mark of respect.
“Everything’s fine. I was just up early and thought I’d make breakfast. My way of saying thank you to you all.”
A second truck makes its way down the road before I’ve even finished.
“You didn’t have to do that, Calliope, but I never turn down food,” Hank admits, making me grin.
“Good. I’ll be in the kitchen. Come on in when you’re ready.”
I head back and start plating some up for Hank when Hannah pops her head around the corner.
“Hey, are you hungry?”
She nods and stumbles over to me, still half asleep. I lift her onto the counter and grab another plate, adding eggs, bacon, and hash browns to it.
“You want anything else?”
“Ketchup and a banana.”
I grimace. “A banana with ketchup on it?”
She giggles, shaking her head. “No, silly. The ketchup is for my bacon. The banana is just because they’re my favorite.”
“Ah, good choice. You want a drink with it?”
“Milk, please.”
“You got it. Why don’t you go sit at the table, and I’ll bring it over.” I lift her down and watch as she pulls out the chair closest to me.
Hank walks in with Christian behind him. “Hey, guys. Help yourselves. Hank, I started yours and then remembered I had no idea what you like,” I admit, making him laugh.
“That’s easy. I like everything.”
“Me too,” Hannah pipes up, catching his attention.
“Well, hey there, Miss Hannah. You mind if Christian and I join you?”
She shakes her head and digs into her food once I place the plate in front of her. I’m glad because yesterday she hardly ate anything. I ruffle her hair before grabbing her a glass of milk and pouring coffee for Hank and Christian.
Christian leans in and kisses my cheek. “Thanks, sweetheart.”
I have a steady flow of ranch hands in and out before Shepard and Riggs stroll in, not looking at each other.
“Something wrong?”
Before they can answer, Hannah asks if she can watch a movie. I send her to the den where she can be comfortable.
Turning back to the guys, I wait for one of them to fill me in. “Well?”
“Nothing. Just don’t like you getting up before us,” Shepard says.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I admit.
“We’re not mad, just slightly traumatized. It’s not often I wake up with a guy’s dick pressed up against me,” Riggs drawls. It takes me a second to figure out what the hell he’s talking about until an image of a sleepy Shepard, spooning Riggs, pops into my head.
I’m laughing before it’s even a conscious thought, full-on belly chuckles that have Riggs shaking his head and Shepard huffing.
“She’s mean,” Shepard complains to Riggs as he makes himself a plate of food.
“I know. We should fuck it out of her system later.”
I stop laughing and clench my thighs together instead, earning a smug grin from Riggs. I point my knife at him. “Behave.”
He tips his hat at me. “Yes, ma’am.”
Shepard walks around the counter, taking a plate of food from me when I hold it out for him. “I know you need to leave, but you have to eat.”
“You worried about me, Poppy?”
“Someone has to be. If that giant ego of yours deflates, how are you gonna float away from all those crime scenes?”
Riggs snorts with laughter, earning a chuckle from me, too.
“Oh, you got jokes, huh?” Shepard bends down and nips the side of my neck, making me shiver, before he heads over to the table to eat.
“You have any plans today?” Riggs asks, popping a grape into his mouth from the bowl on the counter.
“I’m going to do some more work in the pasture, then some in the workshop, while Hannah has her lessons. After that, I’ll text Sarah and Jackie and see if folks want to come up to the ranch to work on shit for the festival.”
“You sure you want everyone up here?”
“The house will let me know if anyone has ill intentions. And I want to be around for Hannah.”
“Maybe you could find some tasks for her to do, too. Give her something to take her mind off things.”
“Good idea. And she loves helping.”
Riggs wraps his arm around me, pulling me in for a hug. “It’s gonna be okay. I know this isn’t what anyone wanted, but you know what they say, when life gives you lemons—”
“Make lemonade?”
“What? No, squeeze them into the eyes of your enemies, therefore blinding them before you cut off their—”
I shove a piece of bacon into his mouth and shake my head.
Shepard watches him with wary eyes. “You’re on a fucking list somewhere, I just know it.”