Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ISABELLE
Sorry, what now?
“He’s got you there.” Seb was now propped on the edge of the sofa, always keeping him and Ben between Alex and me.
“Okay, now I’m in the dark?” My light joke was probably a mistake based on Alex’s glower, but Ben quirked a grin making my blood thrum. I didn’t realise quite how much the ending of us would have hurt me.
I needed to store that problem away for later.
“Alex and Ben’s family hadn’t always lived in the rural Kent countryside. Right, Alex?” Seb prompted him.
Based on the way Alex was working his jaw he was going to crack a tooth.
“Really?” I was desperate to understand what Ben meant, and Ben and Seb were pretty quiet at this point.
Alex cleared his throat and turned to me, his dark grey eyes shadowed.
“My family were in politics, before…” he trailed off, shoulders sinking in on themselves. In that moment I had an urge to comfort him.
“Before our mother became unwell and the family moved back to the manor,” Ben finished for him.
“I’m sorry.” Sadness rose into my chest, choking me. The loss of their mother was still so painful for them. The two sons, even Seb, now silent and lost in thought over their loss.
Would I feel this depth of sadness if I no longer had my mother? The answer had me swallowing thickly.
“They couldn’t move in politics anymore, not in the reality of what was being done.
Not with how unwell my mother became trying to fit their mould,” Alex spat.
“We moved here, and when Mother improved Ben joined the family.” The sad smile lifting his lips was for his younger brother.
“This asshole came as part of the package.” He scowled at Seb who chuckled.
“Unfortunately, that kind of sadness, well it overwhelmed her eventually.”
Sharp pricks brought tears to my eyes. What?
“My father followed not long after, people said it was a broken heart, that and guilt. The liquor helped.” His head fell forwards, he shuddered, his anger entirely replaced. “Now Ben and I are the last of the Cavendish family.”
I blindly lifted the bottle I was nursing to Seb who delivered it to Alex, a soft clap of his hand on his back.
“Your father worked with mine?” I asked, the pieces clicking into place.
Alex nodded, lifting the bottle, lips thinned as he swallowed the now tepid drink. “Your father was younger, up and coming. He stepped into the void where my father left off.” He sounded sour. “He did a fantastic job of really nailing down those policies, didn’t he?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“So, I told you ours. Your turn?” Alex asked.
Settling against the seat, I picked at my fingers. I owed them this much.
“I’ve been in education for my whole adult life.
” The words were heavy, each one feeling more difficult than the last. Seeing my distress, Ben moved to sit beside me, twisting to face inward, to only me.
He lifted my hand from where I tortured it and one of the tears that had been building slipped free.
Furiously I swiped at it. Poor little rich girl crying at her obligations.
I wasn’t the only one here who had lost something to the Genesis Protocol.
“I was engaged to Teddy at fifteen. Back then I didn’t realise that I felt as trapped as I did. Either I loved Teddy then or I thought I could in the future. He was kind,” I lamented.
Ben’s fingers threaded through mine, encouraging a spark of confidence.
“I knew that I could study. So, I studied policy, or as close as I could. It began as a way to understand the system, but when my degree finished and I found myself more reluctant to take up the role assigned, I sought another opportunity. It turned out leaning into my father’s area of speciality made it easier.
He was proud, I was technically allowed to study, it seemed to be a decent way to avoid the inevitable.
Eventually I began to hope that Teddy would move on, bored with waiting.
” My laugh was caustic. I was so fucking na?ve.
“So,” I continued. “I went from placements to further studies until I ended up working on my doctorate. Each year Teddy didn’t move on, and to make matters worse, as the time passed he turned entitled, self-serving.
Possessive.” I shuddered at the memory of his hands on my body.
“I steadily replaced one hope with another – that I would find a loophole.”
I palmed my face, hearing it out loud made me sound idiotic.
“Then my aunt became unwell, and she left me everything. Her final ‘fuck you’ to the system she managed to manoeuvre around, at least a little. And that hope became desperation. I had the education; I had the means to live. I just needed an out.”
“Fuck, Killer.” Seb hadn’t left Alex, hand clamped on his shoulder, his ghosts still tormenting him.
“But my way out never came.” It never came.
Two more tears spilled over my lashes, coursing down my cheeks.
I didn’t bother to wipe at them. More of those were absolutely coming.
“My life at university, my little teaching job, my flat. Gradually each one was removed and my family swept me back home shortly before my birthday. I was staring down the barrel of my thirtieth birthday, and the society wedding of the year.”
All eyes in the room were creased with sympathy. I didn’t want it, but I understood it. They didn’t need to feel sorry for me, no-one did, I didn’t need sympathy.
I breathed deeply and Ben tucked a tissue into my hand. I dabbed at my eyes, fruitlessly trying to put the emotions back in the bottle.
“Thank you, Ben,” I mumbled. He simply squeezed, giving me space to carry on.
“When I saw Teddy at my birthday party, or more appropriately Father’s brilliant excuse to turn a social occasion into a political stage.
Well, he got me on my own.” The men all bristled, anticipating what would come next.
I hurried to calm them. “Nope. Let’s say I left physically unscathed, if a little manhandled.
” I scowled at the memory and none of the men relaxed.
“And, from that interaction I saw the reality of my future.”
“Izzy, that’s horrendous.” Ben slid closer, his body warm against mine.
The closeness broke something down in me and I dabbed my face, rushing to finish.
“Long story short, I found an alternative. Took what little money I had and ran from what was intended as a women’s weekend away before the nuptials. I’ve left everything. Lost everything. But technical details aside, that is what brought me to you.” My voice broke.
I heaved in a few deep breaths to soothe the discomfort of having laid it all out.
“I had no intention of intruding on your lives, I should have made it to the hotel in time and been gone, or as good as. I won’t ask you to lie for me.
” I gave Alex a pointed look in reference to our previous conversation.
“Well, not really long-term. All I can ask is that you don’t tell anyone that I was here, not until I have left.
Even a few hours could make all the difference.
And…” I measured my words. “That’s if they’ll still take me. ”
The men were staring. Expressions a mix of fury, horror, sympathy, and for Alex, guilt. For me, or at me, I didn’t know.
“They’ll take you?” Seb pushed for more.
“I missed my window when the storm hit. I’m due to call them in a few days to find out my next move, actually.
But that’s all you need to know. Honestly?
I’m not going to expose you to any more risk, and the fact I have been here at all…
well, Alex is right. You’ve been unknowingly exposed to enough.
When I broke into your house, I planned to be gone before anyone even realised I was here. I’ve endangered you, and I’m sorry.”
I stood, Ben rising with me and Seb mirroring us from his place by Alex, who very slowly stood too.
“I get that I can’t leave for a while. I was na?ve to allow this entanglement.
” I teased my hand from Ben. “Seb.” I gulped.
“You just made me feel so safe. As though I could have anything I desired, if it was what everyone wanted, if it didn’t hurt anyone.
But the truth is, I have hurt you. And I am so, so, sorry. ”
I had fled to my room, the tears now flowing freely, tracking down my cheeks, over my jaw and along my throat. The steady stream began to dry, the sensation itching and frustrating.
No-one had followed me which was both a relief and a dagger to the chest. What did I really expect?
While it was a comfort that two of the men weren’t angry with me, there was still no sane reason for our dalliance to continue. I’d gone from a stranded woman to the highest profile missing person in the country. Our entanglement, however brief, would end very badly for them if news got out.
Sick of feeling puffy and tear-stained I eventually snuck away for a shower, ice cold initially, to act as a type of distraction, before I allowed myself the comfort of the warm water.
Emerging, I realised, in my haste to wash the upset away, I’d left my clean clothes in the bedroom.
Great, not only a high-profile missing person, but one wandering around their house stark-bollock-naked save for a towel and a grimace.
I could always put back on the dirty clothes, but I dismissed that option immediately.
I drew the line at day-two knickers, preferring none at all – as Ben and Seb had found out.
I rushed, making it to the privacy of the bedroom quickly, kicking the door to behind me.
“Hey, Izzy.”
“Fuck!” I startled, backing into the door with a thud, it clicked closed.
“You’re jumpy?” Seb lounged on my bed, hand resting under his head.
My eyes caught on the flex of his biceps and I dragged my gaze away to find Ben sat in the window seat.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” I tightened the hold on my towel, eyes darting to the pyjamas sticking out from under Seb’s pillows, then the folded clothes piled beside Ben.
“Weren’t expecting us? How proper.” Seb chuckled.
“In my room. In the room. In this room.” I adjusted. “I didn’t think I’d see you again today. I didn’t think you’d be in here, now.”
Fantastic work, Izzy. Eloquent. Articulate.
“Well, that’s rather silly of you. I don’t know what could have given you that idea.” Seb sat up, plumping a pillow and propping it behind him where he now rested against the large wooden headboard.
I frowned at him. “And you accused Alex of playing dumb.”
He arched his brow in reply and I turned to Ben for support, but he just sat calmly, his light eyes curious, no glasses to obscure them. His hair was glowing with the low sun, small shadows drawing under his cheekbones to highlight the beautiful cut of his face. The man was incredible to look at.
“Are you in need of some reassurance, Killer?” Seb asked.
My attention snapped back to him and I realised I was appraising him in much the same way. Tanned skin, bright smile, dazzling green eyes, his hair hand-tousled, rich dark brown but I could see strands of a fairer brown threaded through it.
“Right. Well, I wasn’t expecting this.” I gestured, generally. Especially not after the trauma bonding and secret sharing downstairs. “I wasn’t expecting you in my room, given that it’s a sensible time to have cut off what probably should never have happened in the first place.”
They both stared at me so I continued. “You know who I am. This was temporary. Pressing pause now gives you both plausible deniability.”
“You’re assuming people will find out?” Ben asked.
I pursed my lips. “I guess moving in politics gives you a sceptical outlook on life? Things have a way of getting out. So, yeah, it’s possible.”
“We had absolutely no idea, officer, the poor woman simply needed company in the cold, dreary storm.” Seb wore the most innocent expression I’d ever seen.
“Is that your ‘I’m a doctor, take me seriously’ tone?” I couldn’t help the quirk of a smile that broke through my scepticism.
“Not quite. I like to think of that one as ‘upstanding citizen’, but if you want to hear my ‘I’m a doctor and I won’t be argued with’, I’d be thrilled to give you a demonstration.” His eyes dared me to accept.
I gulped. Why was that so sexy? I didn’t have a medical kink, that was for certain.
“Hilarious.” I remained by the door but was becoming acutely aware of my state of undress. “But regardless, what is done is done.”
When neither man moved, I shot Ben my most pleading look, but the corner of his mouth simply kicked up and he slowly drank me in, the effect compounding the tension I sensed building in the room.
“I’d like to get dressed and settle in for the night, if you don’t mind.” I tried to get the conversation back on track.
“Not at all, go ahead.” Ben’s voice was low and my mouth dropped at his bold reply. Normally he was always so logical and considerate, sympathetic even. Now he looked immovable. He propped one foot on the other knee and rested his arms across the window, settling in.
“Hah, you’re kidding, right?” My laughter died at both of their expressions.
Their eyes hooded, Seb wetted his lips with his tongue, the movement salacious. Yep, I was definitely aroused.
“Seriously, guys, let’s give it some space for now. Leave it alone. It’s for the best.” I put out my last effort at taking control.
“Killer.” Seb rose from the bed, my head tilted upwards to maintain eye contact as he stalked towards me. “Are you saying you don’t want us?” He stopped just out of reach, his tone deeply serious. “Are you saying no to us?”
My attempt at taking control had failed miserably. Seb was demanding honesty.
“No,” I whispered.
“Louder, Sugar.”
My eyes snapped to Ben, and I cleared my throat to try again, but the words still came out breathless. “I said no.”
“Excellent.” Seb reached out and traced his fingertip across my neck and over my collarbone, earning him a shudder. He traced over my chest, curving around the top of my breast to hook under the tucked edge of the towel. “Hands off, Killer.”
I looked to where I’d instinctively crossed my arms over my body, in part from nerves, but more to avoid an inopportune failure of said towel.
“Killer,” he growled.
Gradually I lowered my arms, apprehension skittering over me, the small hairs rising over my skin.
Seb’s finger tugged ever so gently at the small knot and it fell away, leaving me bared to them.