Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ISABELLE
“Benji.” Seb launched himself from his seat and across the room, grabbing Ben’s arms.
I tried to release Ben’s hand so Seb could take it, but he wouldn’t let me go.
Panic spiked at the sight of him. He had turned ghostly pale, his eyes glazed over and distant – lost to some thought or memory – he was definitely not here with us.
“Breathe, Benji!” Seb urged with a tiny shake.
Ben drew in one jagged breath, then stilled.
“Benji!” Seb shook him harder, and I moved with the force of it. “Benji, you fucking breathe for me. Now!”
Ben took another paltry breath.
Alex had rushed to help, then thought better of it, allowing Seb to take over. Now he stormed back and forth across the rug, his hands ripping at his hair.
“Ben,” he tried. “Please. Talk to us. Tell me what I can do?” He halted his pacing, then resumed at Ben’s silence, Seb muttering urgently the whole time.
“He’s not even breathing, Alexander, so he can hardly fucking speak to you,” Seb spat. “I told you. I told you! There were better ways to do this. But no, you had to have that goddamn TV on. Prove your fucking point.”
Seb was raging now, his face drawn with the strain of this situation. He refused to turn his attention away from Ben, although I could see him struggling to handle both Ben and Alex.
“Ben?” I tugged at his hand where he still held on to me, and his head snapped up, his ice-blue eyes locking with mine.
“Ben?” I had no idea what I was doing, but I needed him to listen to someone. “Ben, honey?” He simply blinked at me. “Please, can you breathe for us?”
I saw his lips part and chest rise with a solid breath. A spark of hope flickered at the movement.
I waited a second for him to repeat the move, but he stalled.
“Another one for me?” I pulled his hand up against my chest, cradling it in both of mine, holding it so tightly.
I wanted to draw his pain out of him, carry it so he didn’t have to.
“Ben, please.” At my plea, he followed my instructions, then froze once more.
“I need you to keep going for us, Ben. I need you to breathe.” I dragged myself closer to him, pressing myself to his body, legs against his, shoulders brushing, until he was cocooned. Seb at his front, me at his side.
His chest lifted and dropped before, very slowly, it began to rise and fall more steadily. Not deeply, but consistently.
I swallowed the surge of gratitude, my eyes beginning to prick at the pain now creasing his features, the defeat curling his shoulders in on himself.
“You got this, Benji, breathe for us.” Seb’s hand came up to clasp over where I still held Ben’s.
A low, distressed moan left him, and a tear splashed over my lashes onto my cheek. Ben watched its progress. I wouldn’t release his hand to wipe it away. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be releasing my hold on him.
“You’re doing so well, Ben. Thank you. What can I do? How can I help?” I was so close I was almost in his lap.
“Just stay here with me. For now.” Ben spoke slowly, struggling.
I nodded furiously.
“We’re here, Benji. Let’s just breathe for now. That’s all we have to do. Okay?” Seb tucked himself closer to us until we were a three-person huddle.
“O-okay,” Ben stuttered.
“Thank God.” Alex sounded far away, no-one responding to him, the sounds of his pacing continued. “What now?”
Seb’s laugh was cruel. “Nothing now. The damage is done. Now we just support Ben until he’s ready to talk.” Seb then quietened, muttering only to Ben, reassuring him. “And you don’t have to do anything before you’re ready, okay, Benji.”
“Right, okay.” Alex stopped. I could feel him loitering. “We can do that.”
“Wrong ‘we’.” Seb’s snarl returned. “I love you, brother, but you need to fuck right off for a while, or I might do something you don’t appreciate.”
Alex huffed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Ben’s brows furrowed at their bickering.
“Guys,” I warned. “Not. Helping.”
Seb’s focus on Ben intensified. “Alex, you needed to go to the manor today. You insisted on the windows being finished. Now is a really good time to go. Before it gets dark.”
I dared to turn away from Ben and immediately regretted it. Alex’s concern at his brother’s state morphed to anger – directed at me.
“Fine. If you think that will help,” he snapped. “We will go to the manor.” He nodded in my direction, and my jaw dropped.
I shook my head.
“Just you, Alex.” Seb was half distracted in his response. He carried on muttering quietly to Ben between his conversation with Alex.
“Two loads need taking up, and she’s no use here,” Alex pushed.
I cringed at his dismissal of my presence.
“Do two runs then, Alex.” Seb was getting irritated again, and I could feel the tension in Ben increasing. His hands still trembled; the shaking had increased in intensity.
“Guys, really, this isn’t helping,” I spoke calmly, though I felt anything but calm.
I nodded at Ben reassuringly, smiling a smile that definitely didn’t meet my eyes and that Ben would absolutely see straight through.
“Seb, Ben has already loaded the windows, it’s ready to go. I’ll go with Alex then come back,” I placated them.
Alex snorted behind me. “Great idea, Izzy.”
“Fuck you,” I mouthed at him.
His eyes hardened.
I turned away from the glowering behemoth that was Alex Cavendish and back to his brother.
“You breathe, honey. That’s all you have to do.” I teased my hands from Ben’s and brushed them gently over his cheeks, then stood, allowing Seb to take my place.
Ben’s face dropped at the loss of me. I didn’t realise he could look more desolate than he had, but I was wrong.
“I’ll be back soon, Ben. I promise.”
The wind cut through the clothes I was wearing.
Even with Seb’s extra outdoor layers, I was cold.
I had been colder when I had been lost in the blizzard, but in contrast to that day, on this occasion I was using the slicing cold to distract me from the pain that increased with every metre I moved further away from Ben.
The snow was still deep, but the cold had served to leave it dense and solid enough for the snowmobiles to push on over the surface.
Their heavy weights behind them meant it would take a good half an hour to get to the manor.
Or so Alex told me when we left. I expected we weren’t far now, but if we didn’t get there soon, I wasn’t sure I would be able to maintain control over the heavy thing. My fingers were so cold.
I thought back to Seb’s quiet words as we left.
“Don’t try to get back if you aren’t sure where to go or the weather is dangerous.” He had slowly zipped up the jacket, which buried me.
“Yes, Mum.”
“If you have to stay, then we can see you in the morning. I’ve got Benji. Okay?” He dragged the gloves over my fingers.
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t kill him.” He gave me a meaningful stare, and I chuckled. “Save that one for Benji.”
He read my confusion because he continued. “Oh, he will kill him for dragging you away.”
“Really?”
He smiled at my surprise. “Oh, Killer, so little faith.” He pulled me to him using the tassels of the lined hood. “And whatever you do, do not permit him entry to your harem without a ridiculous amount of grovelling first.”
He silenced any questions I might have had with a searing kiss before tearing himself away and climbing the stairs to Ben two at a time.
I laughed into my snood. Seb was ridiculous. It was laughable. And I was getting frostbite.
The sky was past grey, the winds picking up with intensity, the roar loud through the hood of the jacket.
I looked up to the sky to see the forming blanket of clouds, the sight of a white helicopter against the greying backdrop of the storm surprising me.
The winds whipped through black block lettering on the side of the helicopter, half hidden by the open door where I was sure I could see a person peering out.
Was that a news station logo? The snowmobile rocked as it hit a hidden rock and I tugged the handlebars to keep the thing from rocking further and damaging the cargo, unwilling to imagine Alex’s fury if the windows sustained damage. Then the manor was in view.
Pale limestone, white against the rolling clouds. A deep entrance nestled beneath a tall central tower. Bay windows along the facade and decorative stonework, parapets around huge gothic windows.
As we drove closer, though, I saw the cracks in the facade. Cracked panes of glass, the entrance door weathered with time.
I followed Alex around the property until we rounded one of the wings to find a large orangery, the frame wooden and contrasting with the stone beautifully. But here glass and frames were missing and the interior of the room was empty and windswept.
I turned off the engine. The sound of the storm was louder than the snowmobile had been. Stiffly rising, the bitter cold having infused into my bones, I trailed Alex.
He struggled with the door, a short kick finally driving it inwards, I thought I heard the curses that accompanied it as I followed him inside.
The cold in the room was barely less than outside, but the roof had been repaired, so that was a little benefit.
Flinging my gloves down I stormed back outside and threw the cover off the window frames. Lifting one, I carried it carefully inside, moving it to the wall furthest from the door and laying it carefully down.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Alex blocked my path back outside.
“Unloading windows, Alex. If you’d stop asking inane questions, we can get this over with and I can get back. It’s a straight enough line between the cottage and the manor and I have no interest in being here longer than I have to.”
He didn’t move, thrusting my gloves into my hand. “Put your gloves back on.”
I threw them back down. “My hands are frozen and I’ll be damned if I drop Ben’s windows because I’ve got zero dexterity with the gloves on. Move.” I stormed past him, collecting another frame which he relieved me of at the door.
I spun and retrieved the next, then the next, passing them to him to store inside until my trailer was empty.
Replacing my gloves I snagged the keys.
“Help me with the glass.” Alex didn’t ask. “I’ll carry the panes and you move the padding so they don’t get damaged.”
I scowled but relented, following him quietly until his trailer was also unloaded, dozens of well-wrapped glass sheets now secured inside the orangery.
“Good? We done?” I asked, keen to get back. It was darker outside and I’d be pushing it, but I’d take my chances outside in the dark over inside here with Mr Personality.
“Done unloading,” he growled.
“Great, I’ll be going then.” I’d made it one step before I was reeled back in by the hood of the coat.
“That’s not quite on the cards for you tonight, Isabelle.” He spun me to face him.
“It bloody well is. It’s twenty minutes max without the windows, and honestly, Alex, I do not want to be here with you.”
“Better here with me than there with them,” he gritted.
“For whom?” I snapped in response.
“Everyone.” He smirked.
“Alex,” I groaned. “Please just drop whatever this is. You hate me. I get it. You want me away from Ben, and I will be soon, but it’s a week.” I paused at that. “Weeks tops. Can’t you just let it be?”
He watched me calmly, attention shifting behind me then back to my face, a smile ghosting his features. This guy was infuriating.
“First, I don’t hate you. And second, I’m not stopping you. That is.” He pointed over my shoulder.
Sighing I turned. Sure enough the trees behind the manor were swaying, the large branches bowing in the winds, the howling groans of the gale ratcheting up.
I opened my mouth to argue when one of the saplings along the treeline groaned, leaning perilously then falling with a loud crack, the length of it cutting off the exit around the property and the avenue back to the cottage with it.
Shit.
Alex was smiling. He strolled over to the door and slammed it closed, the sound jarring and final.
He rounded on me wearing a look of triumph at my being unable to leave. His hands tucked into his pockets, then he observed me quietly, judgement briefly replaced with something like curiosity, but I sensed he was gearing up for something.
“So, seeing as we are trapped here for now. How about you tell me why I have received a call from a man named Christian who seemed desperate to speak with Isabelle Blackthorne. The same Isabelle Blackthorne who assured me that absolutely no-one knew where the hell she was?”
Oh, fuck.