Chapter 29 #2
“It’s in the past,” I said quietly. “You and Mom—you handled it all really well, and since I came out, I’ve never once thought you wouldn’t accept me or a boyfriend.” I swallowed. “I just didn’t realize you knew.”
“We knew,” he said softly. “Kids think their parents are oblivious, but we’re more observant than you think.”
I gave a dry laugh. “You don’t say.” I rewound the conversation and how we’d landed here in the first place, and I shifted uncomfortably. “So you caught on about me and Garrett, too.”
Dad nodded. “I thought you might just have a crush again. But then I saw how he was looking at you, and…” He whistled. “That man isn’t subtle either, is he?”
Air was suddenly hard to come by. Garrett actually was pretty good at keeping cards close to the vest. But he’d been looking at me in a way that tipped off my dad? Shit.
“You noticed?” I rasped. “I mean, he was looking…”
Dad chuckled. “You mean you didn’t?” He rolled his eyes, though he was still smiling. “Like I said—not subtle.”
Oh. Hell. I didn’t know how to respond to that. Or how to feel about it.
Dad watched me for a moment, then sobered. “Stuff like this—I know you value your privacy, but you know the reality of your high profile.”
Chewing my lip, I nodded. I could read between those lines:
You value your privacy, but the public doesn’t.
And if you don’t come out and do it on your own terms, it’s only a matter of time before you’re outed whether you like it or not.
I shuddered. Not for the first time, I was glad I hadn’t played hockey in the era when no one was out as gay. Keeping a relationship a secret was stressful enough. Hiding that entire side of me? No, thank you.
“We need to come out,” I admitted. “And we’ve talked about it. A lot.” I raked a hand through my hair and sighed. “He and Chris—they went through some rough shit, and they’re just now back to being on solid ground. If he finds out his dad is dating me…”
Dad pursed his lips as he seemed to think about that. “His folks broke up a while ago, didn’t they? I mean, I assume this isn’t a divorce that was just finalized last week.”
“No, no, it was… like five or six years ago, I think? It’s been a while.” I grimaced. “But… I mean, without going into detail, it’s also at the core of the issues they had with each other.”
“Kid had a rough time with the divorce?”
“Something like that. And it’s taken them this long to be back on an even keel. That’s why Garrett moved to Pittsburgh—to be closer to Chris now that they’re in a good place again.”
Dad nodded slowly. “So if he found out his dad was seeing one of his teammates…”
“Exactly.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t want to cause problems between them. I don’t want to screw things up in the locker room. But at the same time…”
“You feel something for this man, don’t you?”
I was suddenly choked up and didn’t even know why.
“Yeah. I do.” I swallowed against the unexpected lump in my throat.
“And like… I only have so much time left on the Phantoms. Retirement is coming up fast. I’ve…
For the last couple of years, I’ve been trying to figure out what life after hockey looks like.
And when I’m with Garrett…” Fuck, I did not need to lose my composure in front of my dad.
“So a future with him,” Dad said softly. “After hockey.”
“Exactly.” I cleared my tightening throat. “Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself—we haven’t been dating very long at all—but it feels like this could go somewhere, you know?”
He nodded. “I can see that. Which is why I’m concerned about you getting outed. That kind of thing can put a lot of stress on a relationship.”
“Yeah. It can. The secrecy isn’t a picnic either.”
“No, I don’t imagine it is.” He held my gaze. “Liam, I think you and your boyfriend need to have a talk. Get on the same page. Decide if and when you should tell Chris. Because if I’ve caught on, others probably will too. And that’s something he should hear from his father and you.”
I chewed my lip and nodded. “Yeah. It is. I just don’t want to rush things with Garrett. This is… God, it’s the best thing I’ve had outside of hockey in a long, long time.”
Dad’s smile caught me by surprise, and he squeezed my forearm. “Explains why you’ve been happier the last couple of months.”
Somehow it didn’t surprise me that he’d caught on to that too.
“I am. I’ve… Even with the secrecy, it’s been…” I couldn’t help smiling myself, and some heat rose in my face. “I’m definitely happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. But that’s all the more reason to do things on your own terms. Don’t wait for someone to out you.”
Nodding, I said, “I’ll talk to him. He’s not quite ready to bring it up to Chris, but under the circumstances, we should. Getting outed would be awful, but having Chris find out that way…” I grimaced.
Dad scowled. “I’ll never understand why these news sites and whatnot are so enthralled with people’s personal lives. You’re there to play hockey, not be on a soap opera.”
“I know, right? But people love drama.”
“They do.” He studied me. “Listen, you’re smart. Always have been. Just talk to Garrett, and then the two of you talk to Chris. Even if he’s not happy about it in the moment, he’ll come around.”
“You think he will?”
Dad shrugged. “Why wouldn’t he?”
I thought about that. “Rationally, I can’t think of a reason why he’d be pissed. But I also know people aren’t always rational with things like this.” I paused. “I mean, I don’t know how well I would’ve taken it if you’d dated one of my older teammates.”
Dad barked a laugh and smacked my arm. “You wouldn’t have had a chance to take it good or bad. Your mother would’ve killed me and the other guy before you ever knew anything was happening.”
I snorted. “Yeah, probably.”
We moved on to lighter topics, but my mind stayed stuck on our conversation. On what Garrett and I really needed to do sooner than later if we didn’t want this to blow up in our faces. Especially if we were being obvious enough that my dad had clocked us so quickly.
I knew Garrett wasn’t ready to come out yet.
I wasn’t ready either. The Sword of Damocles was tickling the back of my neck with the threat of our relationship going public without our consent, but I had to strike a balance here.
Don’t wait for us to get outed, but don’t come out sooner than our relationship—or Garrett’s son—could handle.
I just hoped like hell we struck that balance.
And in the meantime, I prayed to God no one else had caught on to what my father had.