Chapter 45 #3
Then I faced the sea of camera lenses and swept my tongue across my lips.
“As long as I’m already in front of all of you, this seems like the best time to say this.
My contract with the Pittsburgh Phantoms runs through the end of next season.
And of course, I’m committed to being everything this team and these fans have asked of me for almost two decades.
” I paused as a sense of calm settled over me.
One I hadn’t known I needed since God knew how long.
Voice even, I said, “After next season, I will be retiring from professional hockey.”
I sensed both Garrett and Chris tensing, and the room was instantly full of camera flashes, murmurs, and movement. Hands shot up, and the questions came fast.
“What are your plans after you retire?”
“Who do you think will be the new captain?”
“Is this because of the issues that prompted this press conference? Or something else?”
That last one was more personal than I would’ve liked, but not unexpected either.
“The recent issues got me thinking about it,” I said.
“But I think it’s been a long time coming.
I’ve been playing hockey for almost thirty-five years.
It takes a physical toll, especially at this level.
I love the sport, and I love the Pittsburgh Phantoms, and I love the fans.
But I have to keep living in this body, and if I push it much harder than I already have, the daily pain is going to become unmanageable.
” I smiled my best media smile, but it really was genuine.
“I’m sure I’ll still be around, though. You can take the hockey rink out of the hockey player, but… ”
That got a chuckle out of everyone.
Travis wrapped up the press conference after that, and Chris, Garrett, and I filed back out into the hall.
As soon as the door had shut behind us, Chris turned wide eyes on me. “Are you sure about this, Saints? You’re still so good!”
I laughed quietly and shrugged. “Might as well quit while I’m on top, you know?”
He stared at me. So did Garrett.
Sobering, I rubbed my thumb along Garrett’s and said, “Look, I love hockey. I love playing for the Phantoms. But it’s taken a hard toll on my body and on my life outside of hockey.
I think… I mean, I’ve been thinking about retirement for a while, but when I actually said I might drop the hammer…
” I half-shrugged, glancing at each of them.
“I guess it got me thinking. It kind of gave me permission to think about retirement as a concrete thing, not some far-off, abstract idea.” I paused and took a deep breath.
“I think I’m ready. I can go out on top, and I still have my health enough to enjoy my life. ”
“Are you sure, though?” Garrett asked, barely whispering. “You still love to play.”
“I do. And it’s not like I’m going to cut hockey out of my life.” I half-shrugged. “Just… not play professionally anymore.”
“Whoa,” Chris said. “Liam St. Clair retiring. That’s…” He shook his head.
I laughed. “I mean, we all knew it would happen eventually.”
“Yeah, but it’s still… That’s a lot.”
“I know. It’s a lot for me, believe me.” Smiling, I squeezed Garrett’s hand. “But I’d kind of like to be healthy enough at forty to keep up with my fifty-year-old boyfriend.”
Chris barked a laugh and clapped a hand over his mouth.
Garrett tried to look put out, but he was losing a fight against a grin. Elbowing me, he said, “You make it sound like I’m old.”
I shrugged. “I mean…”
“Shut up.” He elbowed me again.
Chris snorted. “Okay, I was having a hard time picturing you guys as a couple, but now?” He gestured at us and laughed. “Now I see it.”
Garrett rolled his eyes. Then he looked at me, his expression totally serious. “Are you really sure about this?”
“I am. The truth is, I spend more nights than not dealing with some kind of pain, and that’s only going to get worse. My body is tired. I think I am too.” I looked at Chris and smiled. “And the Pittsburgh Phantoms are in good enough hands that I think I can bow out.”
Chris stared at me, eyes wide.
“I’m serious,” I said. “You’re living up to exactly why you were drafted as high as you were. Gil’s been building a team around you.”
“He… He has?”
I nodded. “You haven’t noticed we have this nice balance of veterans and young players? The whole reason he wanted 1A and 1B offensive lines was so that when I retired, the transition would be smooth.”
Chris gulped.
“You’ve got the talent and the skill,” I said. “And Gil has very carefully made moves so that when I retired, it wouldn’t be a massive blow to the team.”
“So, instead of a rebuild…”
I smiled. “Gil doesn’t do rebuilds unless he has to.
He wanted to stack the team so it wasn’t necessary.
” I nodded toward Chris. “He’s got you. He’s got Craws.
He’s got Temo locked into a five-year contract with a no-move clause.
Barns just signed a four-year extension, and between you and me, Gil’s working on getting a new backup goalie who might be good enough to be Barns’s tandem. ”
Chris whistled. “Whoa. And the D pairs…” His eyes lost focus.
“Drizz still needs another year or two to really develop, but he’s probably going to be in our top D pair after Morris retires.”
“Damn. I… didn’t even notice what Gil was doing.”
“He’s good at what he does,” I said. “And as much as he’s hoping I’ll sign an extension, he knows my days are numbered no matter what. He’s pragmatic enough to prepare for that rather than just blithely hope I’ll play until I’m forty.”
“Wow.” Chris chewed his lip. “And you really think I can fill your skates? Because holy shit, that’s a lot of pressure.”
“It is a lot of pressure, but you’ll have plenty of support.
More than I did when I started.” I studied him.
“You’re the future of this team, Chris. There’s a reason I’ve focused so hard on you as a protégé.
And there’s a reason I was already writing up my retirement announcement when I wasn’t sure if we could resolve this.
” I shook my head. “I’m not going to cost Pittsburgh their future captain. ”
He swallowed like it took some work. “I… don’t even know what to say to that.”
“You’ll be fine.” I paused. “And, like… if you still need a mentor or just someone to vent to about all the stress—I’m still here.”
He met my gaze with wide eyes.
I chuckled. “I’m retiring, not going to the moon. Hell, I’ll probably end up working for the organization somehow.”
“Or just being a rink rat,” Garrett said.
I shrugged, because… I mean, he wasn’t wrong.
“Well, you’ll definitely be missed on the ice,” Chris said. “But it’ll be good to still have you around.”
“I don’t think you boys could get rid of me if you tried.”
“Rink rat,” he and Garrett both said.
I just laughed and rolled my eyes.
We chatted a while longer about lighter subjects, and of course about hockey.
Then we headed toward the locker room so Chris and I could start our pregame routines.
Chris and Garrett exchanged a quick hug, and then he went inside while Garrett and I lingered in the hallway.
Ironically, just feet away from where Chris had exploded on us the other night.
Garrett gazed at the closed locker room door, and he slowly released a long breath.
I touched his waist. “You okay?”
He nodded slowly and turned to me. “Yeah. I’m… God, I’m definitely glad that press conference is over. And that things are smooth with Chris.”
“Me too.” I lifted my chin for a soft kiss. “I’d say things worked out better than we could’ve planned.”
“All things considered, yeah.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I could’ve done without things being so public, but it worked out.”
“It did.” I kissed him again, and we just let the moment linger. Let the peace settle around us like the chill ice-level air.
Then Garrett stiffened and reached into his pocket. When he pulled out his phone, his breath hitched.
Alarm surged through me. “What is it?”
“It’s my daughter,” he whispered, staring at the screen. Then he met my gaze, his eyes huge. “She just watched the press conference, and now she wants to meet up and talk.”