Chapter 12 #2
Hina snorts. Her forearm is perched over a crossed knee. Hand moving in a lax, carefree way. “So basically, this is to see who we’re avoiding for the rest of our trip here?” She looks at Katarina, unflinching and unafraid. I admire her. “Can I cop out of the game if I already know?”
I’m no detective, but there is something inevitably evident between them.
Hina and Katarina know each other. More than that, actually.
The stares, the glares, the little twitch in Katarina’s gaze when she accidentally meets Hina’s glare. There’s tension.
Is no one else seeing this?
There’s more talking going on, someone’s pairing us with names, but I’m having a hard time focusing. It’s a debilitating, out of body experience. Used to it, however I will never stop hating this feeling.
Someone drags me to their side, not sure who it is until I’m sitting next to Rhys and he’s staring at me but it’s making me queasy. Literally. Who knew being attractive could turn me off? Blame the migraine.
Get me out of here.
Katarina forces her way towards Dean.
A murky, gravelly, unusual feeling settles inside of my chest. Not because of her, I don’t think. But because of… well, I’m not en tirely sure. It can’t be Dean because I don’t care for Dean, even though he’s staring at me with those intense eyes of his. Nope, not him.
Katarina walks with a slight tilt to her hip that accentuates her lower behind. Damn, I need to get her glutes workout ASAP.
She could have a BBL.
Well then, even better. I can ask her if she has a referral code I could use, because do you see that butt? Incredible. I’m jealous.
More words, more explanations, more mouths moving.
Then suddenly I’m sitting on a swirly stool, facing the couches. Everyone’s staring at me. Totally unnerving. The cardboard wall is set up high between me and Rhys. It smells like fresh paint. I hate it.
Headphones are placed over my ears.
Loud, blasting, unwanted music.
I pull the headphones off.
“Please put the earphones back on,” someone says behind me. It sounds muffled. “We’re about to start playing.”
Swivelling the chair around, “Can I ask for a song change?”
“Sweetheart,” Austin scratches a finger over his brow. “It’s just a song.”
They’re right, it is just a song. But I can’t focus as is and it’s taking me ten thousand years to function so… “I know, but?—”
“You’re delaying the game,” label me officially turned off by British accents. “Everyone’s hungry. You don’t want to ruin this, do you?”
I don’t. I really don’t.
Forcing a smile, “You’re right. Sorry, never mind.”
Pressure grows at the back of my neck. Push through .
Squeezing my eyes once. Then twice. Yet, it still feels like my vision’s going through a gastritis surgery.
The prodrome stage is killing me .
In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.
The breathing technique with my eyes closed helps the initial symptom subside until the headphones are peeled off of me and the light bursts through my cornea.
They place a deck of thick, big cards in my lap. Three in total, I see.
I look up, a camera is in my face.
Looking down…
Words are mumbled jumbled.
If a cat… no, that’s not right. Your partner steals your game? No, call? Maybe it’s card.
“Nova, you can read it out loud.”
I thought I was.
“Someone else read it,” Dean's voice breaks through.
My face feels warm.
“Yeah,” Austin sighs quickly. “I’ll read it out.”
He clears his throat and takes the card from me.
“You and your partner are in a newly discovered relationship. You’ve hit your three-month milestone and you’re celebrating by going out to eat.
They booked an extravagant date at a Michelin star restaurant which is hard to reserve and completely out of your budget, but you’re excited to be there because they booked it for both of you.
At the end of the dinner, your partner takes your card to pay for the meal.
How would you respond in this situation? ”
All I hear is card, restaurant, and I’m the one paying.
“It’s okay with me,” eyes widen in the room.
“If my partner used my card to pay for our dinner, I don’t have a problem with it.
I’d be confused, of course. But if it’s a conversation we’ve had prior to the dinner then it’s all good.
” I attempt to make a joke in the end. “Us girlies have to spoil our partners sometimes too. ”
“Nova,” Hina’s the one that talks. “Maybe you misunderstood the scenario. It’s asking if?—”
“It’s quite alright, Hina.” Austin takes the rest of the cards from my hand. “Let’s move onto the next team.”
Rhys looks a bit confused at how quick the game was for us as we walk back to our spots. Did I do something wrong?
“Did we do okay?” I ask Hina as Dean and Katarina are called up.
She looks at me with a sullen look of pity but doesn’t sugar-coat anything. “You took too long answering and fucked up the answer, but honestly it’s a stupid game so who cares?”
Shame floods into my vagus nerve and hinders my ability to move or speak or live.
All of the above.
I want the ground to swallow me up right this minute.
Swiping my head to the left, “Rhys, I’m sorry. I messed up.”
His smile is kind. Unapologetic. “All good, I’m pretty sure I messed up too.”
That doesn’t make me feel better.
“You look a little pale,” Hina notices with a quick look over. “Do you want a Tylenol?”
Dean’s looking at me, so are some of the staff members holding the thick microphones over them. I didn’t have those…
“No, I’m…” Something oddly similar to worry flashes though Dean’s stare. But he can’t be worried. Impossible. “Fine. Peachy , really.”
Not true, but we push through.
“We’ll start with Katarina,” Austin whispers something in the cameraman’s ear. I’m hoping the symptoms subside but that’s wishful thinking.
My shoulders are hunched up to my ears. Rhys keeps peeking glances my way. Shaan has been quiet but it’s obvious how he’s silently judging me.
I miss Nadine and Rosa. We may have been separated for years now, but the feeling of their presence and the way they make me feel in unusual settings isn’t lost to me.
“You and your partner have been in a relationship for over a year now. You know his family and he knows yours. Things are getting serious. Midway through, your partner’s personal relationships with their family starts to get rough due to unexpected situations.
Your partner tells you that they need to focus on taking care and providing for them, which means that they won’t be able to give you a lot of time.
They reassure you that they still love you but are honest about how the dynamic between both of you will change.
How would you respond to this situation? ”
Jealousy spikes through my skin.
Wonder what it’s like to read without needing to throw up.
She thinks for a minute. Flings her hair over her shoulder. Rests a perfectly manicured hand over her knee. Baby pink, or peach. Pretty colours for nails. “Relationships are a commitment.”
Hina snorts. She rests her palm on her cheek and turns to look at me, “Here we go.”
“Family is important, but when you make a commitment to someone—especially the commitment of being with them and loving them, then you have to abide by it. In this situation, I’d have self-respect.
If my partner told me they needed to prioritize their family and not me, then I’d tell them to do what they needed to do but not to expect me to wait for them.
Being loved by someone else is an honour I can’t exactly put into words but being loved by me is a privilege.
If my partner thinks they can put me on a backpedal while they move forward with their life, then I’m sorry but I’m moving on.
Life is short, love comes and goes, and they won’t be the last person to love me. ”
Now that is… one heck of an answer.
I almost applaud. “Wow,” I say instead. “I want to be her.”
“No,” Hina mutters. “You want to avoid her.”
“Why do you hate her?” I whisper. The camera staff move around the room to film the game from a different angle.
If I find out that Hina’s an actor then I’m taking away any awards she’s won because you see this? She’s terrible at hiding how she feels. She needs to pretend that she doesn’t know Katarina, otherwise Austin and Irene will be at her throat.
“She’s a stuck-up bitch, that’s why.” There’s a snarl at the end of that. I’m getting dizzy and drama makes me faint. When Hina’s ready to share, I’ll be ready to offer my shoulder.
Turning my attention back to the pair in front, Dean’s looking right at me. I guess he read the scenario because Austin is taking the card from him.
I look down. Drawing circles on my dress. Avoiding Dean because when I look at him I want to glare, but my head already hurts enough.
A minute passes, or two. Maybe three.
“If the woman I loved told me she needed to take care of her family then I’d drop everything to take care of them with her.”
It reverberates through me.
Deep, masculine, and completely unfiltered.
Raw, next question.
Making the mistake of looking up—holy mother of freaking ducks—darkened moss reflects the turmoil flipping inside of my chest. The last time I felt this was when Nadine got married and left home. It’s unusual. It’s the feeling of change occurring.
We stare and stare (surprisingly, I don’t glare).
I’m captured. Hostage material. Yet, I’m gladly offering my wrists for him to tie up. His words anchor me, swallowing— drowning me.
But any woman would feel the same way.
Men nowadays aren’t assuring to us nor are they self-assured.
Dean Vuk is a man from novels. He shouldn’t exist because what the heck happens to the girls who don’t get a man like him? They live happily because they don’t need to put up with his grumpy crap every day .
Even when he and Katarina walk back to the couch and switch places with Hina and Shaan, I think about his words.
Then when Austin announces Dean and Katarina as the winners to choose people for their grocery store team, Dean looks at me and I find myself wanting to look back at him but I’m feeling a certain kind of way.
I can’t look at him until I’m positive that what I’m feeling is real and not my migraine messing with my ability to function.
It hasn’t been a full day yet and it might be too self-absorbed to think this but I’m getting a feeling that Dean Vuk, Head of Security at Vuk Securities, followed me all the way to Lucerne and I have no way of proving it.