2. Daylin Conrad #4
“Rakim Godfrey,” I announced as we exited the home, headed toward my car. “Now you know his name and don’t need to call him anything but that.”
“Hm. Got a sexy name but I’m still gonna pass.”
We giggled in unison as I rolled my eyes before unlocking my vehicle.
Like Morgin, I, too, would pass, but for obvious reasons like my boyfriend. That didn’t stop me from picturing his handsome face the entire time I drove to drop off Morgin and then head to my own home.
AROUND 4 A.M. . . .
I felt the bed dip behind me but tried not to react. I knew if Shaun even thought I was awake, he’d try his hand at getting some, regardless of what I told him.
Ever since we began dating seriously about two years ago, I’d made it clear that I wanted to abstain from sex until married. Shaun agreed, much to my surprise, but I soon realized it was because he thought he could break my resolve.
It wasn’t happening, however, because while I had enjoyed sex in the past, it wasn’t enough enjoyment to go against myself.
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I remembered the way goosebumps rose along my skin at the sight of Rakim. The way I imagined him picking me up with ease and wrapping my legs around his mountainous frame only two seconds into him being in the backyard.
“Baby.” Shaun kissed my shoulder, his hand gliding around my waist to caress the front of my body.
“No. I have to be up in forty-five minutes. I don’t want to waste prime sleeping time telling you what I’ve been telling you,” I shot back, more annoyed by him than usual for some reason.
“Just let me give you some head.” He sucked on my neck, making me hate the fact that he knew it was my spot.
He only knew because of how I’d reacted to it. I tried to stray away from sexual conversations with Shaun because it only made the tension between us, mainly on his end, much worse.
“Shaun, no, and why the fuck are you just now coming over at four in the damn morning?” I turned to look at him, brows bunched.
“Work. You know what I do and that I ain’t got no set hours.”
Surveilling him for a moment, I tried to get a read on him to see if he’d actually spent the last few hours between the legs of another woman. With his dollop of curly hair, brown skin, perfectly lined goatee, six-foot-two height, dimples, and a perfect smile, Shaun was a sight for sore eyes.
“Neither do I, and therefore, I need my sleep before I have to be up.” I turned my back to him.
Cuddling behind me, Shaun replied, “You know once you marry me and we have some kids, I’m gonna pull back.”
“Why would I believe that? You think I’m stupid enough to marry you and have children first, then wait for you to pull back second?” I chuckled softly into my pillow at how naive Shaun must’ve thought I was.
He’d asked me to marry him twice, but other than the fact that I wasn’t sure I wanted him for a husband, I partially felt like he was doing whatever he could to get some.
I knew the sanctity and importance of marriage had been lost among my generation, and men would surely marry a woman in order to smash.
Gone were the days where a man would sleep with any woman but only marry the woman he actually loved and wanted to be with.
“Nah, I will show you beforehand.” He kissed the side of my face, making me simper, eyes still shut. “You have to say yes to marrying me first though, baby.”
Shaun wasn’t all bad of course. I loved how sweet he could be, how fun and funny he was, how he was never broke, spoiled me on occasion, was never short on compliments, and I was sure once he went legit, he would be an all-around good man.
Nevertheless, I felt Shaun wasn’t a leader. I didn’t feel comfortable following him, nor did I feel he could be the man of the house and his family. He had immature ways of thinking, and I just couldn’t imagine making a man I didn’t trust to guide me and our children, my husband.
I couldn’t voice this, though, because he didn’t get it—literally.
I’d tried once, and he only frowned, asking what I was talking about, then proceeded to list all the reasons he was a leader which consisted of him having money, being well versed with guns, and knowing how to fight.
After that, I never brought the shit up again, hoping one day and before I tired of him, he would automatically change.
Change into the type of man who stepped into a room and made everyone wait for him to speak or give orders, . . . like Rakim.
Rakim was the type you nicknamed Daddy even when you used to hate that term of endearment prior to meeting him. Nothing else fit.
Opening my eyes at that last thought, I picked up on the uneasy feeling I got at how much a man I hadn’t even spoken to plagued my thoughts, especially when I was a taken woman.
“I’m sure I will say yes one of these days,” I half joked, and thankfully, that was enough to placate Shaun who kissed my face and laid his head on his pillow.
I could only pray that when I awoke in the next half hour, Rakim would no longer be standing there in the thick of my thoughts.