17. Daylin
SEVENTEEN
daylin
BURIAL OF ZAIRE GODFREY
Today was Zaire’s funeral, and the church had been packed out. There were so many people that the entrance area along with the outside and street blocks were filled. It was crazy to see how loved Zaire was.
What was even crazier was seeing Ayan sob almost as hard as Josias. He seemed to be a terrible person with no regard for other people’s feelings or lives; however, witnessing him in the church today made me see him differently.
It caused me to think back to the things Rakim told me about his father and how they were raised.
I spent so much time despising Ayan, that I didn’t even take into account that his childhood had affected him just as it had Zaire, Josias, and Rakim.
True enough, Ayan was still a bad person, but I could now see there was more to him.
Per usual, LaMia had her eyes on me almost the entire service, which I expected since I was seated with Rakim, who was adamant about holding my hand.
Unlike his father’s party, he didn’t want to pretend he barely knew me.
He wanted me on his arm, and it felt so right I kept having to remind myself about Shaun.
LaMia was so gung-ho about stealing peeks at her ex and me that she could barely rub a broken-up Ayan’s back.
“You hungry?” Rakim asked me as soon as we stepped into the repast. We’d just left the burial where there were even more tears from the boys.
Rakim kept it together as much as he could, only allowing tears to rush down his cheeks and nothing more.
Ayan and Josias were the opposite, experiencing body wracking sobs while Mr. Nate Godfrey was extremely impassive.
Even his speech about Zaire at the funeral lacked emotion, and if I hadn’t known he was Zaire’s father, I would have assumed he was some random man off the street who was paid to speak.
Even creepier, when Nate spotted me, he grinned widely, winking as if that was supposed to make me scream and faint. He looked a lot like Rakim, just bigger and scarier with a creepiness that Rakim didn’t possess. I was sure to stay away from him and up under Rakim the whole time.
“A little.” I peered around Rakim’s large stature to see the table of food.
“So what is this?” LaMia appeared before us, drink in her hand as she gestured between Rakim and me.
“None of ya fucking business, LaMia,” Rakim tossed out, eyeing the room as if she didn’t matter in the slightest.
“This is his brother’s repast, and you’re worried about what he and I are?” I hiked a brow.
I tried not to judge people because I wasn’t perfect either, but it was hard not to when it came to LaMia.
“Girl, shut up. I don’t know who or what Rakim has you feeling like.” She scoffed.
“I think you need to be more worried about your man and his wandering eyes than what me and Rakim are doing. You gave him back to the streets, and he was fair game, baby. Guess I should thank you for that.” I spoke lowly when a man who Rakim referred to as his cousin walked up and engrossed him in a quick conversation.
LaMia looked horrified at my words as if I’d called her a racial slur, and that only made me smile innocently.
“Let’s get ya food.” Rakim talked against my temple before kissing me and pulling me toward the table that Josias was sitting at, appearing desolate.
LaMia seemed to be stuck in place as she watched, face ridden with stress, sadness, and a lot of regret that bothered me now that I had feelings for Rakim.
“Hey, girl.” Kasia sat down, in between Josias and me.
“Sup, Day.” Josias hopped up only just now noticing me, then kissed Kasia quickly before excusing himself and ignoring her inquiring as to where he was going.
“How are you?” I questioned her. I saw her consoling Josias during the funeral, and because she was here and not Tarin, I began to believe that maybe Josias hadn’t lied to her and stopped messing with his first baby’s mother.
“I’ve been better. I hate this for the boys, but especially for Josias. He and Zaire were twins, so it was different.”
“Oh, I know. I feel terrible. I only met Zaire a few times, and he seemed to be cool.”
“This stuff always happens to the good people. You see Ayan’s evil ass is still ticking,” she said, and we giggled in unison. “On a lighter note, I’m guessing you’re still not fucking Rakim.” She bit a piece of her roll.
Feeling his eyes on me, I caught his glance before smiling subtly.
“I may have let him put the tip in,” I jested, and she cracked up, eyes widened in surprise.
“Yeah, I got pregnant doing that too.” She scooped up some macaroni. “Don’t worry, girl. Your secret is safe. Is it good? For a minute, I thought he was celibate.”
Sniggering, I replied, “It is. I get why LaMia can’t take her eyes off of him.”
“Ugh.” Kasia rolled her eyes. “How you dog a man out, with his brother of all people, and still wanna police his moves?”
“Right. I never liked her, but now she makes me uneasy. Rah says he is done with her for real, but I don’t want her trying to get back with him while I’m becoming invested.”
I had a lot of nerve considering I still needed to break up with Shaun. At least Rakim was actually single. Though I felt single and would be once given my freedom to see Shaun, it wasn’t the same.
“If he says that, believe him. I don’t know much about Rakim, but I know his word is law. From what I was told, it’s been five years. That man ain’t going back. Ain’t like she has his baby or something.”
I nodded, realizing how much sense Kasia was making. I was worried about Rakim reverting after five years, while she had to be worried about Josias, who not only had two kids with Tarin but seemed to be still fucking her only months ago.
“Girl, my bad. I forgot about your shit for a second.”
“Don’t feel bad.” She frowned. “You have a right to your feelings, even if mine are similar but on a worse scale. I promise.” She nudged me, making me smile. “We should exchange numbers.”
Fuck. I still didn’t have my phone. I’d been so relaxed and caught up in spending my days with Rakim that I hadn’t even thought to ask for my phone back.
“Can you believe I accidentally left mine at home? I can put mine in yours though.”
“Perfect.” She slid her device toward me, and I filled out the contact sheet.
Kasia and I talked for a long while, and it was nice to have someone to converse with that wasn’t . . . like Morgin or my sister. After a minute, Rakim came to retrieve me, and I giggled at the way Kasia wiggled her eyebrows.
“Sorry I had to talk to a bunch of people; pay some bills.” Rakim helped me into the back of the truck that his friend who ate my pancakes was driving.
“It’s fine.” I peered up at him once he was beside me in the car. “How are you?”
“Been better.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Nice having you here though.”
“Okay, good.” I felt the way my cheeks heated, so I knew I was blushing just before he pecked me. “LaMia is . . . annoying.”
“Pay her no mind, baby. She harmless and confused.”
Nodding, I said, “Yeah, that’s gonna be hard for me to do when I can tell she wants to be back with you. She regrets leaving you for Ayan. I can smell it on her.”
“It really don’t matter what she regrets, baby, because it’s never gon’ be a thing again.” He kept strong eye contact with me, proving his honesty.
“Okay, because I will beat her ass.”
We guffawed in unison, and I loved the way his eyes mushroomed at me in astonishment.
“Don’t do that. I don’t even think she can fight, baby.” He was still chuckling, shaking his head at me.
“Then she better stay on the safe side of life.” I watched him, smirking. “What’s so funny?”
“You look sweet and nice as hell, but I can tell you meant that shit you just said. Yo’ pretty ass been knocking bitches out?”
“A few.” I showed off my muscles, and he simpered.
He was so handsome.
“Aight, well I don’t think you gotta worry about LaMia’s ass, Laila Ali. But even so, I won’t let that shit happen. It ain’t all on her. If I don’t allow the shit, it won’t happen.”
I nodded.
“Why won’t you let it happen? Is it because you found someone else?” I batted my eyelashes, and he brushed the pad of his finger along my nose before kissing me.
“That’s not why. Regardless, I would never fuck with LaMia again, but I do have my eyes on someone and something I wanna be sure I protect and cherish.” Pushing my hair behind my shoulder, he added, “I wanna be sure she mine before I scream it from the rooftops though.”
“I am. I promise.” I assured him, hoping he knew I meant I would be speaking to Shaun immediately.
Sighing, he said, “Talid’s scan came back clear—”
“Oh my gosh! That’s great!”
“It is.” He bobbed his head to cosign. “That also means I have to make good on what I told yo’ pops and let you go.”
“Oh.” I glanced down momentarily. “But you know those scans can sometimes be wrong. Things can grow back. I’ve heard so many stories from my dad about shit growing back in days and—”
When he started laughing before pecking me a few times, I paused.
“You wanna stay with me.”
“I do.” I nodded, feigning a smirk.
“I want that, too, baby, but I want you to do it out of your own free will.” He took my hand and kissed the back of it longingly. The move sent chills down my spine. “Therefore, I gotta let you go as promised, but I want you to take some time to let your mind clear up.”
“It is clear, Rah.”
He nodded like he was agreeing, but I could tell by his face that he didn’t.
“Still. Give it a few days, and then if you still feeling like you want this, then come back to me. I ain’t going nowhere, and I won’t be doing shit with nobody, no matter how fucking long you take. Aight?”
“Alright.” I lay on his chest, not liking this. I would give it a couple days only because he wanted that, but then I would be back with my man. “I don’t know if I can be without that for so long.” I patted his dick, and he chuckled, chest quaking against my ears.
“Keep it up and you gon’ come back to Pops pregnant.”
“Is that what you do to keep the ladies?” I peered up at him, making him peck me.
“Nah, that’s not my style. Plus, I stay on the safe side of the road.” He peeped our surroundings as his homie drove, bobbing his head to the music he had playing.
“Then what happened the night your brother passed?” I hiked a brow, calling his bluff.
“First time for everything, baby.”
“I was the first woman you haven’t used a condom with? I must be special,” I jested.
“You are. You already knew that shit though. How many times you don’ heard you was beautiful or special?”
“Not as much as you think.”
“You was in the wrong hands then. A nigga should be telling you that shit at least twice a day. Sometimes I gotta stop myself from saying the shit so you won’t think I’m bullshitting or so it won’t lose its value. It’s difficult though.”
“It won’t ever lose its value coming from you,” I assured him.
We kissed for a little bit before he whispered, “Thank you for coming. Shit, thank you for even being around. I ain’t realize until I met you that I don’t talk to anybody about shit.”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” I hugged his torso tighter as I pressed my chin into his chest.
“Yeah, but only with you.” He pushed my hair back from my face again and said, “Make sure you bring yo’ ass back to me, aight?”
I simply nodded, that already being the plan.