Chapter 12 #2
I wasn’t certain if for once he was trying to scare me or just push me away. “You’re wrong. I know you better than you think. For example, you would do anything to keep your daughter protected. Anything at all.”
“True. I shouldn’t have allowed you to go into that house all alone.”
“Why is that? If you’re going to tell me that it’s because every celebration your family has ends with bloodshed and guns a-blazing, then I might agree with you. If not, then you couldn’t possibly anticipate what happened. No one could.”
“You don’t understand. We’re Bratva. We should have known.”
It was the first time he’d used the Russian denotation of his heritage as if a weapon of destruction.
Instead of being horrified, all I could concentrate on was how insanely beautiful his lips were, thick and full. The way he was peering at me screamed of the same lust that I was experiencing, so hot and heavy that my breath caught in my throat.
“You say that like you and your family members are gods among men.” He seemed amused at my analogy.
“In a way, we are.”
“Jesus. You’re a good man, Sasha. I’ve seen it. No matter what you’ve been taught to believe, you’re not a killer.” I finally attempted to climb off his lap, but he was having none of it. With his arm firmly planted around me, he leaned us both over so he could place the glass on the coffee table.
Then he cupped my jaw with a tenacity that should put the fear of God into me. Instead, my pussy began to throb as if the dangerous moment was about to lead to passion.
His eyes were gloriously hooded, but the stark blue kept me pinned in the moment. When he pressed his lips to mine, I melted into his arms. It was too stereotypical, but that was the way I felt.
Every inch of my body was on fire, every breath stolen. Just the way he’d captured my lips was as dominating as the man. I wanted this moment to last. I wanted him to cradle me in his arms, taking me into the bedroom and making sweet love to me.
But that wasn’t possible. Not now. Maybe not ever. A veil had been broken, a different kind of ache replacing the one from before.
That’s why I gently pushed him away, but he refused to let me go.
He crushed his mouth over mine, doing little more than keeping our lips together. The hold was possessive, letting me know without words that he wanted me safe.
The moment was tender, even sweet, but I broke the kiss only a few seconds later and pressed my palm against his cheek. He had a way of grounding me even now.
“Do you know what I would have done had I lost you? Had I lost Nina?”
“No,” I whispered.
“I would have burnt down the city in your names. I would have ripped apart every store and every restaurant in my hunt to find the person responsible. And when I did, I would have spent days allowing them to experience the same kind of torture that I was feeling. Does that sound like a good man to you?”
I was breathless for a few seconds, incapable of capturing and blurting out the right words.
Maybe the ones he needed, or I did. Then suddenly, they came to me like a flood ripping through a dam.
“It sounds like a man holding grief and guilt in his heart so thick and heavy that he can’t think clearly or even breathe.
It sounds like a man intent on destroying his life from the inside out, never allowing himself to feel joy or love because he doesn’t think he deserves it. ”
There was no doubt I’d gone too far. I felt it in my bones.
I waited for his anger, even tossing me out of the suite and his life.
That’s not what I wanted. Just the opposite.
I’d seen his underbelly, soft and vulnerable, an emotional and passionate man who’d awakened something so primal deep within that being around him was like taking the first breath of life.
Yet he was explosive and dangerous in a way I had no true understanding of, trying so desperately to convince me he wasn’t good enough that a fraction of my sullied mind wanted to believe him.
“As I said. You know nothing about me.” Instead of exploding, he was shutting down.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Shut down. Is that what you do every time you don’t get your way or don’t want to deal with something?”
When he turned his head, it was as if he was dismissing me.
“No. You aren’t going to get away with shutting me out. Not after what happened today.”
“Don’t you see what I’m trying to do is to protect you?”
I narrowed my eyes, folding my arms and glaring at him as frustration was about to eat me alive. “I can protect myself from almost anything. Yes, I appreciate your concern when it was your family who was attacked, but that’s not what’s happening here.”
“Then what is?”
There was the mood swing I’d seen before, the one that he undoubtedly used to push people away.
“It’s that you can’t trust me enough to talk to me about how much you’re suffering.
You just admitted you’d burn down the world if something happened to me, yet you refuse to allow me inside that mind of yours. That’s not fair.”
“Whoever told you that life was fair was an idiot. You’re living in a fairytale, Lainey, where good people thrive and the vile, evil monsters eventually perish. That’s not always the case.”
Oh, my God. This was past being infuriating.
Maybe I’d been the sweet girl that everyone had expected, but no one had believed when I’d insisted that my image not be some vixen intent on ruining her voice by screaming into the microphone.
That’s why I insisted on retreating, punching him in the gut so I could back away from him.
I’d be damned if he didn’t seem amused. What a ridiculous situation.
I’d been in a shoot-out with masked men, forced to perform a few line drives on some asshole who’d grinned at me as if I’d been a pushover.
Then for kicks and giggles, I’d stood on the same lawn where I’d performed only an hour before to enjoy the sight of dead bodies.
Now I was locked inside a hotel room with two goons holding vigil while being forced to deal with a man who could crush rocks with his jaw.
Maybe I was just a little cranky.
“Well, thank you, Mr. Know-It-All for ruining the same fantasy every girl has. I’m so sorry I interrupted your space and your life.
I think I’ll be going now. It would appear you have your hands full with attempting to solve the puzzles in your mind.
Let me give you a hint. You’re missing some pieces. ” I turned, heading for the door.
Dear God. I didn’t think any other man had made me this furious.
“You’re not going anywhere, Lainey.”
Stopping short, I rubbed my eyes. They ached. From exhaustion. From fear. From agitation. The man had me furious and flustered at the same time. “I’m not your prisoner.”
“In case you haven’t figured it out, you witnessed the start of a mafia war today.”
What? What did he just say to me?
The shock of hearing his words floored me. I slowly turned, gawking at him. I had a terrible feeling my mouth was open. “Correct if I’m wrong. Please do. Okay? But that sounded suspiciously like you just threatened me.”
His sigh was one of those traits that at first, I’d found sexy.
But right now, the heavy intonation as if I was irritating him was all I could concentrate on.
And rightfully so, it pissed me off. “Do you think I’d threaten you?
You’d know if I was. I’ll go back once again to what I just said to you.
You don’t know anything about me and trying to psychoanalyze me won’t change facts. ”
The air between us was hot as Hades or maybe that was just my mood.
“Wow. How did I not see this side of you?” I tossed out, shocked. He was worried I would talk to the police. After what we’d been through together? Confusion crushed the earlier feelings. Now I was angry.
“What side is that?”
“The one screaming in vivid color a single word. Asshole.”
His clear amusement was baffling. “Maybe I am, but I’m also trying to protect you.”
“From what? From you?”
“Perhaps so.”
Maybe because of my level of indignation he jumped out of his chair, his movements so quick that I tumbled backward.
Gone was the fire in his eyes, replaced by shock as if I’d just accused him of a heinous crime.
That was the moment I noticed specks of blood staining the light gray material of his trousers. Maybe I had my answer.
He slowly followed my gaze while approaching and all I could think of was that he was a predator. Maybe he read my thoughts or perhaps my expression was a strange mixture of shock at his behavior and coming down from an adrenaline rush. Whichever it was, he stopped dead in his tracks.
“Yes, that’s blood, Lainey. If that’s what you were thinking.”
Nodding, I tried to look away, but he was such a magnificent specimen of a man that even while being furious with him, I craved being in his presence. “How many?”
“How many what?”
“Men did you kill in cold blood?” I tried to keep my voice down, even glancing over my shoulder to ensure Nina wasn’t standing in the doorway listening in on a conversation no seven-year-old child should ever need to hear.
She’d seemed oddly unaffected, as if she was used to violence in and around her household. The thought was completely unnerving.
“Enough.”
“Doesn’t that bother you that your little girl is forced to grow up in a world where men with guns follow her around everywhere? That her birthday party turns into a shooting match? Or that her father could be killed over some ridiculous turf war?”
Every muscle in his body tensed, his gaze explosive and his mouth twisting. The man was a stick of dynamite ready to explode. “Turf war? This is about much more than a turf war.”
The hint of pain mixing with anger was unexpected. “Who is after you, trying to destroy your entire family?” When he didn’t answer, I took a deep breath. “You don’t know. Do you?”
“We’re uncertain at this point. The men who stormed the house didn’t carry identification.”