Chapter 13
Sasha
Infuriating.
Enticing.
Demanding.
There was an entire dictionary of words to describe Lainey, but na?ve wasn’t one of them. I’d already experienced her quiet strength when dealing with both her manager and Damien. Some other women would have either kowtowed or fallen apart. Not this woman.
She’d rocked my world by highlighting her skills using the goddamn bat meant for sports and entertainment. She’d showcased her will to live, her sense of duty and decency. But even more than that, her killer instinct.
Yes, she was a much stronger woman than I’d given her credit for. While still innocent and vulnerable, my guess was she could easily tackle a giant.
That made my hunger more intense, now to the point that I needed to touch and taste her. To drive my cock deep inside. Light footsteps and a faint scent of her floral perfume found its way toward me just seconds before Lainey returned to the living room.
“Nina is asleep,” Lainey said absently just before wrapping her long fingers around her glass of wine and immediately heading toward the oversized window. I sensed her continued nervousness, finding it difficult to reclaim control of a conversation that had been interrupted.
With her challenges, she’d forced me to face several ugly truths about myself. All the healing I thought I’d done had been bullshit. I’d masked my emotions, often doing a shitty job of it. I’d been existing, not living.
Now that I’d tasted the breath of life, I wanted more.
“Thank you for tucking her in.” My words were perfunctory, something you’d say to a friend. Not something I craved with every ounce of my being.
“Of course.” Turning her head, her eyes narrowed when she locked eyes with mine.
After a few seconds, she glanced away from me, her chest rising and falling with sharp breaths as she attempted to control more than her emotions.
Her desires were also on the line, forcing her to question both my motives and her needs.
Even from where I was sitting across the room, I noticed how the low-level lighting framed unreadable eyes.
Her long dark eyelashes skimmed the shimmering curve of her cheeks and her lips appeared painted a lovely shade of rose.
That wasn’t from lipstick, but from her nervous habit of biting her lower lip.
I’d completely unraveled her.
“Are you worried Nina will have nightmares?”
“To a point, but she’s a very strong little girl. Plus, you did an incredible job protecting her from what was going on.”
“What a shame she can’t be just a little girl. Innocence taken far too early.”
“I assure you she enjoys being a little girl more than you might believe.” Was she questioning my parenting ability now or trying to find reasons to push me from her life?
I continued eyeing the gorgeous woman, drinking in her beauty as she nervously tossed me quick glances.
We’d enjoyed pizza and ice cream, even including potato chips as my daughter had requested.
I couldn’t remember a thing about the movie the two of them had selected.
I’d spent the entire two hours mulled in fury and a toxic need to destroy the remaining perpetrators.
Mikhail had been right to drive me away from the near tragedy, at least for the night. I was so far on the edge my control would have been shot. The ending result would have been plagued with hours spent on a cleanup crew.
I’d fixated on the man who’d attacked her. The thought of anyone else daring to even touch her had created a surprising increase in rage.
At the same time, I thought of how much I longed to cup her perfect breasts in my hands, brushing my thumbs across her hardened nipples until she whimpered from my touch.
I craved having her sit on my face so I could taste her sweet pussy.
As I pulled the glass to my lips, I chuckled from the colorful images rolling through my fractured mind. Every Dmitriyev had a dark, sadistic side lingering in the shadows, poised to strike whenever necessary.
We also demanded control of every aspect of our lives and the people around us.
That’s why when grief had taken hold, dragging me into a pitch-black abyss, I’d faltered so badly just getting up in the morning had been difficult.
If I hadn’t been a new father with an infant who required constant attention, I had no doubt I would have played a game of Russian roulette and lost.
Just as I’d prayed for.
Even after time had created scabs over the bloody wounds, I’d still been a shell of a man. The moment I’d shaken hands with Lainey, a spark had been lit.
Ten seconds after I’d admitted not only the way I felt about her but also that I had no intention of letting her go, Nina had bounced into the room.
Since then, Lainey had purposely tried to avoid the elephant in the room.
Her attempts to ignore me had been adorable while her body had betrayed her true feelings.
Even now, she was anxious, uncertain of what to say or how to act around me.
I’d seen a side I hadn’t before, a wildcat tired of being caged. She’d lashed out, although in a very controlled manner. I had a feeling I’d see more of her spunk. It would seem she was finished with being told what to do.
Including by me.
If I wasn’t careful, the little butterfly would spread her wings and fly away. One misstep and we’d both be pulled into an even more damning abyss. She inhaled sharply, her composure slipping for the first time.
Perhaps she’d expected I’d say something to her, engage her in our earlier conversation. In my mind there was nothing left to talk about. Perhaps that made me selfish. Perhaps that made me realistic. I couldn’t forget we’d just been attacked, a declaration of war.
I’d find a way to deal with my return to the dark predator lurking deep inside in the morning. Decisions would need to be made including a temporary living space.
But for tonight, I was ready to shove it all aside. One glorious night of pretending I wasn’t the son of a former powerful Bratva leader who’d amassed as many enemies as friends.
She darted another quick look in my direction. “It’s been a very long day. I’m going to take a shower. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
Was there another slight hesitation? Yes, there was, but her resolve in trying to block out her feelings was winning the battle. I couldn’t blame her.
She’d dismissed me, her words a clear indication she had every intention of sleeping in the bed with Nina. Or perhaps she was telling me in no uncertain terms I’d spend the night on the couch.
I had no such intentions.
After she left the room, I closed my eyes, rolling the cool glass from one side of my jaw to the other. The word infuriating returned. While I didn’t see her as a game player, this felt a little like cat and mouse.
What a shame I couldn’t distinguish who was who.
A few minutes later, I swilled down the remainder of my Beluga vodka before standing. After taking a quick look out the window toward the bright lights of Las Vegas, I thumped my glass onto a table and left the room.
Tonight she’d learn that I rarely made statements I didn’t back up with actions. What I’d told her hadn’t just been done in the heat of the moment.
Not only did I want her.
I needed her.
In a short timeframe, she’d become a drug that I required, an addict hungering for a fix. All I could think about was pressing her body against mine, enjoying the quiet time shared. Two lost souls. There were no other thoughts, no other necessities that held any credence.
She was right to ignore me, even if I was annoyed by her doing so. I was used to getting what I wanted, even if in doing so I’d chipped away at portions of my soul.
She’d unearthed the man I’d once been, shattering the chains with a single searing touch.
After checking on my daughter, I headed into the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me.
The bathroom door was partially cracked, much like I’d found my daughter’s door moments before.
Lainey was trying to ensure Nina didn’t wake up in the middle of the night horrified after a terrible dream.
She didn’t know my daughter. She had her mother’s strong resolve. Much like the stubbornness I’d seen in Lainey.
The talented singer was right. She wasn’t Selena. I wasn’t trying to replace something I’d lost. I was hoping to return to a joy lost in the shadows, another reason to get up every morning after a sleepless night.
Guilt was a destructive weapon.
I pulled off my shirt, kicking off my shoes at the same time. I didn’t care where my clothes landed or what her objections might be. I was at the point where ‘no’ wasn’t in my vocabulary. The need was that intense.
Using a single finger, I opened the door, breathing in the scent of citrus and strawberry body wash, a dangerous combination. I could see her silhouette behind the frosted glass where she stood with her palms on the granite in front of the showerhead, her head lowered under the spray of water.
Very quietly I undressed.
My hesitation was short lived. As soon as I opened the shower door, she lifted her head. Her expression wasn’t one of shock as I would have anticipated. The look was laced with pure hunger, the same sweltering need that we’d tiptoed around for months.
“Sasha.” My name was whispered as if she was moaning while deep in sleep, driven to full arousal by a dark fantasy.
My hunger knew no bounds.
Yes, I’d meant what I’d said.
After tonight, there was no turning back.
Lainey
“Sasha.” Just saying his name brought such an intense set of emotions and desires that losing myself in him was all I could think about.
Ordinarily when a man laid claim to a woman, it was done in a ridiculously overacted movie. I’d seen plenty of those. I’d even had Damien try a version of that, only while using his fists to make a point.
This was entirely different.
This was everything I’d wanted yet feared admitting. To myself. To my friends. To every man who’d touched me.
Now, no one else would be allowed.