Chapter Eight
RAYNE
I had some easy-to-care-for plants brought in this morning.
They need little light, and they're easy to care for—so it should be a simple task for Shay to learn to take care of them.
I added some more items to our therapy room last night after our first session: blankets, a coffee table and station, more books, and a TV.
I never asked her if she watched TV before she came here.
Today’s lesson will be service. The purpose is mindfulness and self-worth. The plants she will care for should be soothing; they will help her create a routine. I want her to make this living area however she feels comfortable. Whatever she wants to do, she is free to do it.
She hasn’t had freedom in many years; I want her to explore what freedom feels like to her.
It’s not black and white—freedom is many different things to people.
And I want to help her figure out what it means to her.
What she wants out of life moving forward.
This space will serve as a trial run for the future.
I check my watch, and it's 8:55 a.m. Shay is due here soon; I didn’t have time to run down and grab some breakfast—I hope she didn’t break rule one this morning.
I’ll reach out to the kitchen to confirm later.
I left all the new items in the middle of the room for her to organize herself.
I’ll busy myself reading her notebook; I hope there’s something new in there from yesterday.
A light knock at the door makes me stiff. I don’t know why I’m so tense this morning—I guess I want Shay to get something out of this session. To move forward and learn to heal.
“Come in.”
The door opens a crack, then all the way.
Shay walks in wearing a dress with modest heels.
The waves in her hair caught the sunlight and distracted me from what I was going to say.
Sometimes when I see her, I go into a daze.
My eyes wander from her beautiful hair down to her breasts, and I have to stop myself from going further.
“Good morning, sir,” she says, her hands clasped in front of her. Her eyes looked up at me from under thick dark eyelashes.
“Morning, Shay. What did you have for breakfast?” Structure. Routine. I need to implement them now. She looks to her left and sighs.
“I didn’t have any yet. I was waiting for you.” Her head bows down—her shoulders sag, and I notice she doesn’t have the notebook with her.
“That’s very kind of you, but you can have breakfast on your own.” I don’t want to sound harsh, so I continue, “We will share lunch and dinner together, if you’d like.”
“Yes—sir. Since I haven’t eaten yet, will I be punished?”
I clear my throat. “No. I didn’t clarify the rules.
I should have, though. They’re still serving breakfast downstairs, so you should get something to eat.
We have a busy day ahead of us.” She looks back up at me and looks…
disappointed? Her face drops—her chest deflates.
Was she trying to break the rules? Or am I reading too much into it?
“Have you eaten?” She asks.
“Uh—n-no,” I stammer. “I lost track of time this morning. It’s alright, I’ll be finishing up here while you’re gone.”
“Okay, I’ll be back.”
Shay returns while I’m in the middle of evaluating the care plan that Tabitha sent to me late last night. I haven’t seen her since I went to her office; she must be busy with her own patients. I’m adding in my own notes and plan of action for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, she approves.
I look up from my computer to see Shay standing in front of my desk with a tray in her hands. She has a small smile on her face, along with satisfaction.
“Did you eat?” I asked, while eyeing the tray in her hands. My stomach stirs, my mouth waters.
“Yes—but since you haven’t eaten, I brought you something.” She brings the tray closer and gently places it on my desk before walking over to the couch and sitting down. I watch as she looks around and notices the plants I placed by the window.
I’m surprised, but I shouldn’t be. She provided Arin with acts of service during their time together. Does it make her happy? Or has she been trained to do so and doesn’t know any different? I need to find out, but first I’ll eat what she brought.
I lift the lid off the plate and smile. She brought me foods she’s seen me eat, and proper portions. I look over at her, and she’s reading the book I laid out for her, looking relaxed and happy.
“Thank you, Shay. This looks fantastic and was a thoughtful act. Please don’t feel you need to do things like this for me, because service should connect you to yourself, not erase you.”
She pauses from her book for a moment and looks back at me.
“I enjoy making people happy. It makes me happy. It makes me feel like I’m worthy of your attention and help.
” Her eyes shine with tears before she turns her head and looks out the window.
She is more than worthy of my help and attention, and there is no need for her to be a slave in order to earn it.
“Are these plants yours?” She whispers.
“No—they’re yours. Provide them with love, water, and attention. You’ll care for them and learn that someone who is worthy of your love will give you the same care in return.”
After I eat, I go to the coffee bar that is beside my desk. “Do you like tea or coffee?”
“Tea. Herbal, please.” She doesn’t look away from the window. I wonder what’s on her mind. Is she happy? At peace? Anxious? Sad? I don’t know—I can’t read her yet. Maybe I won’t ever be able to.
I make her a tea and bring it over, casually placing it on the coffee table in front of her. She swallows deeply and finally turns to face me. Her eyes are unreadable, and I don’t think I’ll ever tire of seeing how they shimmer in the light.
She looks past me and notices a water carafe on the coffee bar.
After she takes a sip of the tea I brought her, she walks over to pick up the water carafe and waters the plants without another word.
I listen as she hums to herself. The softness of her little tune makes me comfortable, but it also makes me want to hold her against me.
It takes everything in me not to pull her in and claim her as mine. Her humming makes me wonder if she did it often while with Arin. If it was something she did to calm herself, or make herself feel not so alone.
“Do you like music, Shay? I noticed you humming. We can turn some on—light background noise so it’s not so quiet.”
“I like the quiet. It’s peaceful.”
“You don’t ever get tired of being in your own thoughts?”
“No, Arin always told me the world is too loud. Too many things are going on. Silence is a reward, not a punishment.” She smiles.
My mouth feels dry. She really believes that, doesn’t she? He conditioned her to live in silence and to like it. How could she not mentally break down from all the boredom? I guess it takes years of training to achieve that, and she was the perfect person for it.
“Shay…you are unique. Incredibly special. There isn’t another person whom I know that could live as you did for so long, but things have to change. The world is going to be loud and demanding. Do you think you’ll be able to handle that?”
She thinks for a few moments; I can see the wheels turning in her head. I don’t sense fear, but determination. “I—I think I can try.”
“Good girl.” I take her hand in mine and squeeze lightly. Her eyes widened, and I let go immediately. Shit, too far. She’s not ready for physical contact with anyone else yet. I just hope she opens up to me again soon.