Chapter 20 #2
Being with Ambrose was comfort. It felt good.
With enough time, I know I can fall for him.
Want him, maybe even fully love him again.
But it will never be this. Nyx looks like he wants to devour me, mark me in his possessiveness, even though he has no right to me anymore.
Not after what he’s done. Or what he thinks I’ve done.
And yet, this is the moment I want to replay in my head over and over.
Others probably think this is the moment I almost die.
That the curses or Nyx’s blood lust finally end me.
But I’ve never felt so alive. So wanted, desired as I do right now.
Even if that longing is twisted in a craving to kill me.
I’m fucked up. This is why the universe declared Ambrose as my mate instead of Nyx. I’m not myself with Nyx. I lose all sense with him.
“What did you do, love?” he purrs into my ear.
I rake my teeth over my bottom lip so hard that I draw a drop of blood.
Nyx stills, noticing the minuscule drop.
I suck in a breath, preparing for death. I expect Sylara to step in. To “save” me. But if she kills him to save me, then it won’t matter. Death will still find me.
She doesn’t move. She doesn’t register the danger. But I’m in danger—danger of death, or falling in love so hard with the man again that I ruin any hope of ending the curses, which means we are all as good as dead.
“Did you finally do it? Did you let him touch you?” his tongue licks up my neck ever so lightly.
“Yes, he touched me.”
“Hmmm, did you let him kiss you?” his lips brush this time, sending delicious chills racing down my spine.
“Yes,” I breathe out.
“Did you let him fuck you? Pour himself into you? Are you on the precipice of falling head over heels in love with his cock, my little snow wolf?”
I still. Not sure how to answer. Tell the truth or lie? Anger sweeps up to the surface, along with the desire to stab him in the heart as he did to me. It’s the smart thing to do to ensure that the distance that we pushed between us stays there.
“Yes,” I lie.
But Nyx knows me. He knows every curve, look, smell of my body.
“Such a pretty liar.” I know you’re still mine. Still belong to me. I could still have you in a second if I wanted to.
The rest of his words play in my head. And I can’t tell if he spoke them so quietly, if they’re real, if I made them up, or if he somehow spoke to me in my mind.
His nose nuzzles my neck, and I know he can smell my heat dripping off of me. He knows how badly I want him to fuck me, sink his teeth into me, do anything to make me feel alive before I die.
The blood drips off my lip. His tongue darts out, lapping it up, brushing against my lip as he does.
I gasp. Fuck, Ambrose will never be able to give me this feeling.
He might become my best friend, my rock, someone I can rely on. He might be an enjoyable fuck. But never this. Not the man who makes my heart beat like this. Gives me the butterflies constantly in my stomach. That makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt.
His—I’m fucking his. Godsdammit.
The question now is, can I love Ambrose enough? Enough to break the curse?
Because it doesn’t matter that I want Nyx. Even if I could choose him. Even if there were no curses, he wouldn’t choose me. He just wants to possess me. I’m nothing more than a toy that he claims for himself to keep me from Ambrose.
“Where’s Amora? I don’t think she’d like you being all possessive like this?”
He smirks, cocking his head in that way that drives me mad.
“Doing what? Checking on your progress? Testing you to see if you’ve done enough, gone far enough with Ambrose that no other can come between you?
She wants the curse broken as badly as I do, love.
She’d be more than okay with me caging in the only woman in the world capable of breaking the curse for us, pushing her until she realizes how serious it is. Because You. Aren’t. There. Yet.”
I suck in a harsh breath. “You toying with me isn’t helping.”
“You refusing to fuck your mate, to fall in love with him, to accept what’s good for you isn’t helping either.”
I huff. “How’s your bloodlust? Have you drunk any blood? Gone mad yet? Lost control?”
“Has anyone tried to kill you, love? You’re running out of time.”
I roll my eyes. “Give me your hand.”
He frowns, and I swear I hear his heartbeat shift.
“Why?” He knows exactly why. Because he’s already discovered the truth and refuses to accept it.
That there is a small chance we got the mate thing wrong.
That there could be more to the puzzle. Something that could give us hope. And he doesn’t want hope.
“Give me your fucking hand, Nyx.”
He leans against the cave wall with one hand while placing his other behind his back.
I grab it, yanking it to me.
“Ow,” he hisses.
“If you’d just show me what marking you got on your hand, then I wouldn’t have to hurt you.”
“Maybe you should be gentler, and that boy of yours would know how to handle you.”
I glare at him. “It’s not going to work. You being mean to me so that I won’t like you.”
“I don’t have to be mean to you to get you to spread your legs for a guy you claim you don’t even like in record time. Just have to make you jealous.”
I’m about to spit another retort at him when I see it. The marking he has on the back of his left hand.
A snowflake.
My heart drops.
I almost fucked another man. I could have ruined everything. Made it so that there was no chance of us ever reconciling. And then the universe gives me hope.
Someone clears their throat, and I jump. Looking over Nyx’s shoulder. He doesn’t move away from me. He’s not hiding our position from her.
But gods, I want to shrink into the wall. The woman standing in the entryway is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Her beauty is exquisite. The kind that can’t be touched by anyone. Luminous pale skin, sharp features, and raw magnetism that draws me to her. A pure vampire through and through.
Her scent comes back to me. And I realize the too-sweet smell I smelt earlier is all over him. So much so that it almost covers his scent from me. There is no doubt that they fucked last night. That they aren’t wasting a second of their time together.
I wait for her to attack me. Drag me kicking and screaming out of here. Ripping my throat out for touching her man.
But unlike me, she isn’t possessive or jealous. She doesn’t need to be. She got the guy.
The second she walks into the room, I notice Nyx’s heart syncing with hers. They beat slowly, in unison. They can probably even communicate mind-to-mind like we used to. I bet they are mates. I bet once the curse is lifted, they’ll live thousands of years together.
Amora walks toward us. On second thought, she is going to rip out my throat. Nyx has pinned me against the wall. I can’t escape. I can’t run, or he’d catch me. And he’s going to serve me to her on a silver platter as a mating gift.
For a second, I search for Sylara. For her to save me. But she is busy flipping through a book in the corner of the room, barely paying attention to the three of us.
Fuck, Sylara. Help me, I scream in my head like she’s going to be able to fucking hear me. But of course, she can’t hear me. I always knew that Sylara didn’t like me. That she’d side with her own alpha. Never think he was capable of killing me.
Amora keeps walking toward me. I can’t read her. Can’t tell what she’s about to do.
I freeze, looking at her like she’s my executioner walking toward me.
And then she smiles, her lips curling up as her eyes light up.
“You must be the snow wolf—the one the seers talk about being capable of breaking a curse. I’m forever grateful that you are choosing the vampire curse to break first. I’ll be in your debt for the rest of my life.
Please, let me know how I can help you and repay you. ”
I look from her to Nyx. You can repay me by letting me fuck your mate. But I don’t say that to her.
Nyx chokes, and I eye him suspiciously, as if he just heard my thought.
“Nice to meet the woman Nyx has fallen for. You can repay me by keeping him alive.”