Chapter 12 #2
Aria's face was sheet white. She stumbled backward.
Aria ran back to the car, shaking so violently I could see it from twenty feet away.
I started after her. Marco's hand on my arm stopped me.
"Let her process. Give her space."
"She just watched me execute someone—"
"Exactly. So let her have a minute before you crowd her."
He was right. I hated that he was right.
The drive back was silent except for Aria's shaking breaths. She pressed herself against the opposite door, as far from me as possible.
I didn't try to comfort her. Didn't reach for her. Just let the silence stretch.
Finally, she spoke. Her voice was barely a whisper.
"How many people have you killed?"
Truth or lie? Which would hurt less?
"I stopped counting years ago."
She flinched like I'd struck her.
"Does it bother you? Do you feel anything when you do it?"
I looked at her. Really looked at her. Saw the horror in her eyes. The disgust. The fear.
Saw the girl from the club disappearing, being replaced by someone who understood exactly what kind of monster she'd let into her life.
"I feel plenty. I just learned to separate business from emotion a long time ago."
"So you just killed him. No trial. No second chance. Just—" She made a gesture. "—execution."
"That's how this world works."
"You're a monster."
The words shouldn't have hurt. I knew what I was. Had accepted it years ago.
But hearing her say it—hearing that particular condemnation in her voice—it cut deeper than I expected.
"Yeah." I kept my voice level. "We're all monsters in this world, Aria. Me, my father, everyone in this life." Her words hurts me and somehow I expected a bit of understanding from her. How could she not see that I didn't have any option here than to do what I am told to do.
She turned away. Looked out the window. Didn't respond.
Back at the estate, Aria bolted from the car before it fully stopped. Ran inside without looking back.
Lia was at the entrance, smile fading when she saw Aria's face.
"What happened? Why did she just run past me without saying anything?"
"She saw something she wasn't ready for."
Understanding dawned in Lia's eyes. She'd grown up in this world. Knew exactly what that meant.
"Let her be for now. She needs time to process."
I nodded. Headed to my room. Showered. Changed. Tried to wash away the guilt clinging to my skin.
Failed completely.
Hours passed. Dinner time came and went. Aria didn't emerge from her room.
Close to midnight, I couldn't take it anymore. Needed to see her. Needed to know she was okay even if she hated me now.
I knocked softly. No answer.
Knocked again. "Aria. I'm coming in."
She was on her bed, still fully dressed, staring at the ceiling. Hadn't even changed clothes. Just lying there, processing.
I sat on the edge of her bed. She didn't acknowledge my presence.
"I'm sorry you had to see that." The words felt inadequate. "But I'm not sorry I did it. He made his choice. Faced the consequences."
"I don't know how to reconcile the man who kills people without blinking with the man who holds me when I cry." Her voice was hollow. Empty. "They can't both be real. They can't both exist in the same person."
"But they do." I reached over, took her hand.
She didn't pull away but didn't squeeze back either.
"That's exactly who I am, Aria. Both versions.
The man who protects you. And the man who executes threats to this family.
If you want me, if you choose me, you have to accept both.
All of it. Not just the parts that are easy to love. "
She finally looked at me. Tears tracked down her temples into her hair.
"Are you asking me to choose you?"
"No. I'm telling you that eventually, you'll have to make a choice. Between my father. Between me. Between trying to run. And I need you to go into that choice with your eyes open about who I really am."
"What if I choose none of it?" Her eyes searched mine. "What if I don't want any part of you if accepting you means accepting the monster too? What if the cost is too high?"
The question drove straight through my chest like a bullet.
She saw me as a monster. Just like everyone else. Just like I'd always known people would if they really looked.
But hearing it from her—from the girl who'd made me want to be better—it hurt in ways I hadn't anticipated.
"Then I'll leave you alone." I stood, keeping my expression neutral even though something inside me was breaking. "If that's what you want. If you can't accept who I am. I'll stay away. Won't force you to deal with the monster anymore."
I headed for the door.
"Kai—"
I stopped. Didn't turn around. Couldn't look at her right now.
"That's not—I didn't mean—"
"It's fine. You're right to be afraid. Right to want distance. I am exactly what you called me. A monster. And monsters don't get happy endings." I forced myself to look back at her. "Get some rest. I'll make sure you're left alone from now on."
I walked out.
Closed the door behind me.
Leaned against the wall, trying to remember how to breathe around the pain in my chest.
She'd called me a monster. And the worst part was she was absolutely right.