Chapter 12
ISSAC
I sat on the beach beside Alandra staring out into the ocean. Finally, after what seemed like twenty minutes, she spoke. “You all talked out? How was therapy? What did he or she say?”
The night of Hymn’s bachelor party, Alandra ended up coming back in to give me her number.
I didn’t hit her up that night. I fucked one of the strippers.
I made sure to strap up and I still waited a few days and went to the doctor to get checked for STD’s.
I wasn’t used to being single. The fear of getting a parting gift from a groupie was something I was paranoid about.
I had heard too many horror stories. Especially the ones about women trying to get a nigga’s sperm out of used condoms. I’d kill a bitch for playing with me like that.
“Something that I already knew,” I chuckled.
“I let my insecurities push me to do something I wanted to do anyway. I just used being angry as a way to try and justify my actions. I wasn’t wrong for being upset that London put that man’s feelings before mine.
I was wrong for how I handled it. Pushing her away.
Not talking to her or giving her affection.
Cheating. This shit was all one hundred percent my fault, and if she can’t forgive me that’s her right. ”
“I’m impressed. You seem to be handling this well.”
That comment got a laugh out of me. “I’m glad that’s how it seems. I had way too many nights of drowning my sorrows in alcohol. Most of my days are spent feeling like shit and knowing that I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Wow. I’m sad for you. You think it’s really over? Maybe it’s just pregnancy hormones.”
“Nah. She’s done. I knew it before she filed for divorce. This is pretty much the calmest she’s ever been. Maybe her hormones are in reverse. Instead of being a raging lunatic, she’s a calm fairy or some shit.”
“So, why did you ask for my number? Clearly, you’re not over her. I’m not interested in being a rebound.”
I looked over at Alandra. “I’m not trying to make you a rebound. I had sex the other night with a stripper. My shit would barely get hard. I’m a sad ass case. I didn’t even plan on asking you here to dump all my shit on you. I’m sorry.”
“You’re good, Isaac. It’s clear you need a friend, and I can respect the fact that you realize you can’t get over her by having sex with random women or with familiar women.
It’s going to take you some time to heal.
When you jumped straight from me to London, that hurt. A lot. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
“I guess I’ve been a screw up, huh? I’m sorry. That was never intentional.”
“I know. You met your person, and you didn’t waste any time. Everyone should get to experience that at least once.”
“You never came close?”
Alandra snorted. “With these options? The dating pool is trash. I’ve come to grips with the fact that I’ll probably be single forever. I think I’ll just save my money and when I’m ready, I’ll have a kid using a sperm donor.”
“It’s that bad?” I questioned.
“Whatever you’re thinking it’s worse.”
“Damn. I’m never getting married again anyway. Look, I’ve been sad and depressed long enough. I’m not trying to bring you down, either. Let’s go get some food and drinks. No strings attached. Just two friends catching up. Cool?”
Alandra smiled. “Cool. I saw how shit faced you were at the bachelor party that night. Please don’t get that drunk again. You looked like you were two seconds away from throwing up.”
Laughing, I stood up. “I’m done with that shit. I felt like a bitch throwing up the next morning. There’s got to be better ways to handle heartbreak.”
“Ice cream usually works for me.”
Alandra and I walked along the beach. I knew exactly what restaurant I wanted to go to.
It was one of my favorites. The food was good, and the drinks were strong.
Two drinks were my limit. I had no plans on getting dumb drunk.
Inside the restaurant, the hostess seated us, and I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.
Easing it out, my heart slammed into my ribcage when I saw that London was calling. She never called me. I immediately thought something might be wrong with the baby. “Hello?”
“Hey, oh, are you busy?”
“Nah, I just came to High Tide for food and drinks. Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I’m sorry to bother you, I swear I am, but I’ve been putting baby furniture together all day, and my back is killing me. There’s one more thing. My uncle can do it next week if you can’t, but I really didn’t want the box in the way.”
“Of course, I can. Why are you putting furniture together anyway? I could do that.”
“I like putting things together. It’s not a big deal. If you coming over will make you feel some kind of way, I can get my uncle to do it.”
“No, I’m good. We have to get used to co-parenting anyway, right? I’ve accepted what it is. I’ll come by tomorrow if that’s cool.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
Seeing London wasn’t going to be easy, but it wasn’t like I didn’t see her often anyway. At the rehearsals. I was going to see her at the wedding. I was going to see her when my son was born. I couldn’t avoid her forever, and I couldn’t be in my feelings every time I saw her. It was what it was.
The next day, I stopped by London’s house as promised to put whatever it was that she wanted together.
She answered the door dressed in black gym shorts and a tank top.
It hadn’t even been a week since I saw her, but I swear, her ass and stomach were both bigger.
I had to force myself to stop looking at her juicy ass thighs. Fuck.
“Hey,” I gave a slight nod.
“Thank you for coming. I couldn’t keep bending over or getting up off the floor. It was starting to kill me after a minute.”
“Still being hardheaded I see.” Shaking my head, I followed her up the stairs.
“I don’t think wanting to be independent is being hardheaded. I listen to my body, and I know when to quit.”
I didn’t respond because I couldn’t tell London what to do.
Following her into the room that would belong to our son, my chest tightened.
There was a jungle theme. A changing table was in one corner and a crib in the other.
A small bookshelf had been put together, and there were already books and stuffed animals on it.
The box in the middle of the room contained a toy chest.
“You ran into Elandra, huh?”
My head whipped up. “How do you know that?”
“Did you forget who you are? Shoot, who I am. I’m on a reality TV show, and you’re still technically my husband. Of course, the blogs were going to report you being out with another woman.”
“Fuck,” I groaned lowly.
“It’s cool, Isaac, The divorce hasn’t been finalized yet, but you can do what you want. I don’t feel any kind of way about it.”
“Of course you don’t,” I stated in a tone that came across as more sarcastic than I wanted it to. “My bad.” I didn’t want to argue with her. It had already been established more than once that I fucked up. Everything was all my fault.
“It’s really not like that. She ended up being the caterer at Hymn’s bachelor party. I asked for her number because I was horny, but we didn’t have sex. We linked yesterday after my therapy appointment.”
“Therapy?”
“Yeah, therapy. You don’t think I need it?”
“Yeah, sure. How was it?”
“It was cool. I’m actually looking forward to going back. Using the past, things I’ve been through, being pissed off, none of it excuses fucked up behavior.”
“I’m proud of you. And I’m glad that we can be in the same room and get along. I don’t want our child raised in dysfunction.”
“Me either.”
London gave me a small smile before walking out of the room.
Swallowing down a lump, I removed the items from the box, so I could begin the process of putting it together.
Even though I had accepted that London didn’t want to be with me that didn’t mean I liked it or that it felt good.
I wasn’t looking for anything serious with anyone, but I needed to know that I wouldn’t be lovesick and regretful over London for the rest of my life.
Maybe moving on was the best thing for me to do.