Chapter 14
LONDON
I was going to have to get my aunt to call Jesus on the main line again for me because it felt like the prayer was wearing off.
All the peace and happiness I’d worked so hard to accumulate was slowly fading.
For the past few days there had been a heaviness in my chest that I couldn’t shake.
The day of Brion’s wedding I had to literally stop getting my makeup done twice because I started crying.
I didn’t want to be emotional and sensitive on my friend’s day because Lord knows I was happy for her.
The fact that I was less than twelve weeks away from giving birth and about to go through a divorce was finally starting to get to me.
I’d been happy for as long as I could be, and the sadness was returning.
I didn’t want the cameras to catch me looking anything other than ecstatic for my friend so between a baby drop kicking my bladder and my emotions, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. When I came out the third time, Isaac was in the hallway.
“You okay? You keep coming to the bathroom. Is it just pregnant woman problems?”
I wanted to spazz on him and tell him it was fuck nigga problems, but this wasn’t the place. I had maintained my cool for so long, and I refused to act up at Brion and Hymn’s wedding. “I’m fine,” I mumbled and brushed past him.
Isaac gently grabbed my arm. When I glanced down at his hand then up at his face, his eyes widened a bit. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to overstep. I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s it. I’m not trying to upset you.”
“Seeing your face upsets me,” I hissed. “I’m sick and tired of all this shit, and it’s your fault. I fucking hate you,” I sobbed and instantly became pissed at myself. Why here? Why now? Fuck!
Issac wrapped his arms around me, and I wanted to pull away from him so bad, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy. I was ruining my face and his tux, but I was tired of holding everything in. I cried until I was content, and then I pulled away.
“I really hate to be that person, but I think I’m just going to leave. I don’t want to bring the mood down. Today is about Hymn and Brion. I’ll just tell her I’m tired. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Isaac grabbed both of my hands. “If you don’t love me anymore, and you really can’t find it in your heart to forgive me then I stand on the fact that I’ll leave you alone.
You can be angry. You can call me names, yell at me, hit me, even stay in your own place for a minute, but baby, if even ten percent of you thinks we might be able to fix this, will you please stop the divorce.
Baby, please. I love you so much. I’m lost without you, London.
I was a fuck nigga, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
Baby, I’m dying without you.” His voice cracked.
If I was being honest with myself, I was so emotional because I did miss him.
I had proven to myself that I didn’t need Isaac.
I could get my own place, pay my own bills, and bring our child into this world without him being there.
I could make it on my own, and I would never let disrespect ride because I wanted to keep my man or because I couldn’t function without his money.
He embarrassed me, and I would probably never live it down, but was I willing to walk away from my marriage simply because I didn’t want irrelevant bitches to think that I was weak?
I tried. I tried to walk away, but something was pulling me back.
I almost had both feet out the door, and I was being pulled like a magnet.
Fighting it was making me miserable. I couldn’t find the words to convey my feelings.
My heart wasn’t ready to let him go, but my brain wanted him to suffer a little longer.
I wanted to drill it into his head that I wasn’t a weak bitch.
Isaac dipped his head and placed the softest kiss on my lips.
When my yoni contracted, and my nipples hardened, I knew I was in trouble.
“I love you so fucking much,” Isaac whispered against my lips.
“I fucking hate life without you. I hate that house without you living in it. I hate myself for hurting you.”
When I didn’t respond, Isaac snaked his tongue into my mouth, and we engaged in a kiss that had my pussy pulsating.
“Oh my God!”
I heard a squeal and chuckled when I saw Brion with wide eyes.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you two getting back together?”
I was sure I looked a mess, but I still chuckled. “I’m still not ready to say yes, but I let the man kiss all on me, so we’ll see.”
The smile on Brion’s face was genuine and it told me there was no judgement from her, and I appreciated that more than she’d ever know. Brion walked over and grabbed my hand. The reception was being held at a lavish hotel, and she had a suite there.
“The camera crew is still here, and we can’t have them all in your face after you’ve been crying.” She turned to Isaac. “London will be right back.”
He nodded and with her hand in mine, we walked to the elevator. “You okay?” she asked swiping a tear off my cheek with her thumb.
“I swear I didn’t mean to do this here. Out of all days, I don’t know why I got emotional on your day. I had been doing so good. I really thought I was over him.”
“You were at peace when you needed to be at peace. You experienced life on your own without him. If you’re feeling unsettled now, maybe it’s just a sign that you can forgive him and give it one more shot.
You didn’t let outside opinions influence you.
You didn’t even let him pressure you. You made the decision on your own when the time was right. ”
“I love you so much, friend.” I hugged Brion. She had been a better friend to me than some chicks I’d known for years.
“I love you back. And the fact that you and he made up at my wedding?” she stuck her tongue out and pretended she was flipping her hair over her shoulder. Her hair was up in a sleek bun with a swooped bang. “Love is in the air.”
I laughed at her antics. There was a very small, nagging voice in the back of my mind wondering if I was jumping the gun or making a mistake.
Maybe it was my hormones and the wedding that had me emotional.
I did miss Isaac though. So, by the time I stepped off the elevator, I decided that I would see how it felt to have him back in my life. That would be the deciding factor.
Brion fixed my makeup in less than fifteen minutes. “Good as new,” she smiled spraying setting spray.
“Thank you. I just knew I was going to have to sneak out the side door.”
“Nonsense.”
We walked back inside the reception hall.
A good thirty people were on the dance floor enjoying themselves.
Most were still sitting at tables eating and mingling.
In the corner of the room, I saw Hymn, Divine, Huncho, and their mother.
I could tell by the slight scowl on Hymn’s face that the moment wasn’t a pleasant one.
I wasn’t family, so I didn’t follow Brion when she headed in that direction, but I did decide to visit the dessert table, so I’d have to walk by. As I did, I heard their mother slurring her words.
“Oh, so everybody else in here can drink, but I can’t? Because I used to be on drugs, I can’t have a simple drink at my son’s wedding? So, the open bar is for everyone but me?”
“You’re grown,” Hymn replied in a weary voice. “You can do what you want, but getting sloppy drunk isn’t good for you while you’re in recovery. We all know alcohol can lead to more than you just having drinks.”
“So, for the rest of my life, I’m going to be treated like a child? I can’t even put a cup to my lips without my children acting like I stuck a needle in my arm.” Her voice was growing louder.
“I’m not doing this with her,” Huncho walked off.
“You never want to do it! You never want shit to do with me! On a good or bad day, Huncho is still going to treat me like shit on the bottom of his shoe!” she called out as he walked off.
“Outside, now.” Divine stated in an authoritative tone while ushering her mother out of the reception hall.
Hymn’s jaw muscles tensed but relaxed when Brion walked up to him and pressed her body into his. I smiled and diverted my gaze to the dessert table with my nosey ass.
My eyes were rolling so far back in my head that I feared they would become stuck.
When the reception was over, Isaac followed me to my house, so we could talk.
We talked for all of two seconds before we were in my bed.
The way he was eating my pussy, so slow and deliberate like he was making love to it with his mouth was sending me into orbit.
His mouth covered damn near my entire mound as he sucked me in before running his tongue over my clit.
The sound effects of him slurping on my pussy like it was a peach had me gripping the sheets and arching my back.
With a low hum, I clenched my thighs around his head as my pussy contracted violently.
The release almost brought tears to my eyes.
It was the first time I’d had sex since being pregnant, and it was nothing short of amazing.
As good as his mouth felt, when Issac’s face hovered over mine, I placed a hand on his chest.
“You know I’m pregnant. Do you need to use a condom?”
Confusion flashed in his eyes briefly. “Nah. I’ve only had sex one time since we’ve been apart. I used a condom, and I got checked.
I simply nodded, and Isaac pushed into me. It hurt and felt so damn good at the same time. It was true that pregnancy made the vagina different. It was almost as if I’d gotten tighter, and he’d gotten bigger. The deep moan that he pushed out was a contrast to my soft one.
“Fuck, London,” he whispered with his forehead pressed to mine. “Fuck this feels so good, baby. I’ll never hurt you again. I swear to God.” Issac snaked his tongue in my mouth.
We kissed passionately as he pushed in and out of me. I was so wet it was surreal. In less than five minutes, Issac’s body jerked, and he moaned into my mouth.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he panted. “I told you I haven’t had sex in a minute. This shit is too damn good. I’ll last longer next time,” he chuckled.
I didn’t respond. Instead, I bit my bottom lip and stared into his eyes as he kissed me again.
So far, it felt right. I wasn’t having any regrets yet.
We kissed with him still inside of me and within in minutes, he was stroking me again.
My clit was so swollen, and my breasts were so sensitive that the moment he flickered his tongue over my nipple, I came again.
“Shit, I can’t take this,” Isaac snatched out of me once my orgasm subsided. “Got damn this pussy is fye as fuck. Get on top.”
With a smile, I straddled him as I glanced over at the wet spot I left behind. Isaac gripped my waist as I eased down on his manhood. “Fuuuuckkkk, London. Baby, what the fuck?” he moaned as I moved up and down slowly.
If pregnant pussy was that good, I saw him trying to get me pregnant again immediately after I gave birth.
Issac grabbed my hand and kissed my palm as he stared into my eyes.
I had always heard the eyes were the windows to the soul.
In his, I saw regret. I also saw sincerity.
I wouldn’t promise that if I saw Miamor or that other skank or if I was reminded of his infidelity that I wouldn’t feel some kind of way.
But I loved Isaac, and I was willing to give him one more chance.
I eased all the way up until only his tip was inside me before dropping all the way back down.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “You embarrassing the fuck out of me.” His fingertips pressed harder into my skin. “Baby, fuck, baby this shit, got damn,” his body jerked as he came again.
I rolled off him breathing hard because I had to pee terribly.
With the mess that was between my thighs, I had to shower immediately.
By the time I was done, Issac had changed the sheets on the bed and was in the guest bathroom taking a shower.
Pregnancy made it so the stairs in my home were not my friend.
I walked over to the mini fridge I had put inside my bedroom and grabbed a bottle of water.
I sat on the bed Indian style and drank my water like a woman that had just run ten miles.
Rubbing my belly with one hand in a circular motion, I sat in the silence and allowed myself to just feel.
The moment didn’t seem wrong. There was no guilt or regret.
I didn’t feel stupid or weak. Everything felt oddly right.
Isaac walked into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Hey. How you feeling?” I lowkey wanted to laugh because he looked afraid. Like he expected me to say we made a mistake.
“I feel good. How about you?”
“Scared as hell,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle. “Like you’re about to tell me to get out because all you wanted was a nut.”
That made me laugh. And I laughed hard. I had the upper hand and if I was petty, I would have used it to my advantage. “I’m not going to tell you to get out. I actually have to tell you something.”
Isaac walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. I was going to make the poor man have a heart attack. I’d never seen him look so nervous in his life.
“You were right.” His brows dipped in confusion.
“About Omar trying to cry his way into some pussy. About a month after I left you, he started getting kind of flirty. I blocked him and haven’t heard from him since.
I thought because I knew him that you were wrong about him.
I’m sorry for making you feel like I cared about his feelings more than yours. ”
“Baby, I don’t even care about that anymore.
I know who you are. That’s why I married you.
You’ve been the person that will give someone the shirt off your back since the day I met you.
I’ve never seen you be mean to anyone unless they absolutely deserved it.
I didn’t trust that nigga. But I should have known I could trust you.
The shit I did was stupid as hell. In my feelings like a bitch, and I’m sorry. ”
“I think we’ve both apologized way too many times. The best apology is changed behavior. I’m not moving back in the house until I have the baby. And I won’t bring up the past. But Isaac if yo”
“You don’t even have to say it,” he cut me off. “On everything I love you never have to worry about that shit again. You had me so sick a nigga couldn’t eat. I didn’t know heartbreak felt like that. I damn near wanted to die.”
I appreciated him being vulnerable, but I really needed Isaac to know that I wasn’t playing with his ass. Not at all. If I left him again for any reason it would be for good.