Chapter Twelve
"You're getting better and better at this," Cordell states as I pass him on the trail up our ridge.
"I would hope so for how many times we've come up this same hill in the past two months," I tell him, chuckling, not out of breath in the least. I'd lengthened my stride and overtook him halfway up. "Seems like you're the one struggling to keep up today."
His quiet laugh keeps a smile on my face all the way to the top. Not even the worry from the last few days can beat me down when we're out here. It's been two days, and I've yet to speak to my mother or the alpha claiming to be my father. I haven't told any of the Apollo pack about them, either. It feels like I'm keeping secrets, but seeing as they don't necessarily pertain to them, it's not like they should worry about any of it.
All of it takes a back burner as we once again break the tree line at the top of our hill and we're greeted with open skies. The weather is starting to get chilly as the leaves fall from the trees. They'd made satisfying, little crunchy noises as we made our way up.
My heart isn't in it to film content today, so I settle for a few photos instead before helping Cordell lay out his blanket. "No cutesy one today?"
He smiles, bringing out that dimple. "Nope, I figured we'd need a thicker one than the one we normally use."
I'd just been thinking about how much chillier it's been getting, so his thought process makes sense. Laying back on the blanket, I stare at the clouds as they reform and make new shapes as they move.
"Penny for your thoughts," he offers.
"I was just thinking how life is kind of like clouds," I admit quietly. "Just as soon as the shape comes together to form something beautiful, it shifts, becoming something else entirely. Sometimes beautiful. Sometimes not."
"That's deep. Does it have anything to do with what's been bothering you this week?" he asks.
I smile, determined to not ruin our trip today. "No," I lie. "Just stray thoughts per usual."
He doesn't believe me. I see it the moment I stop speaking, but he doesn't pry. Scooting over to me, he comes up on his knees before throwing a leg over mine and dropping himself to his elbows. Letting his body weight press down just enough that it's comforting and not overbearing, he brings his lips to mine. I've lost count of the number of times we've come out here and ending up in the same position that we're in right now. Something feels different today, though.
Maybe I need him, or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, our hands start finding naked skin and our shirts come off.
"Wait," I stop him breathlessly. "We shouldn't do this here."
"Why?" he asks, kissing his way down my neck and collar bone.
Why? Why? Why? Oh yeah... "People."
He puffs out a small breath of air. "What people?"
In all the times we've been here, there has literally been no one here. And now that it's starting to get colder, I expect even fewer visitors if that were possible. So, I let go of the fear.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I use them to pull him towards me. He mumbles something unintelligible around the hard peak of my nipple in his mouth. His teeth clamp down hard, making me cry out as much as it makes me wet. Gathering my wrists in his hands, he moves them above my head, keeping one of them trapped while his other hand slips beneath the waistband of my yoga pants. We've made it this far on several occasions, and I will be the first to admit that the man knows exactly what makes me tick.
I'm riding his hand, unable to move my own, so close to orgasm when he pulls away. Not one to normally tease me, I whimper thinking he's done. His mouth moves further down until he licks around my belly button, fully distracting me as he slips my pants down to my ankles. In one swift move, he's got me flipped over to my stomach and jerks me up to my hands and knees.
Scraping his teeth down my hip, he nibbles the bottom of my ass cheek before taking a nice long lick starting at my clit, leaving my arms feeling like Jello. Dropping my head to the ground thrusts my ass into the air for him.
He makes a low, almost growling, noise in his chest. "Presenting for me, omega?"
Was I? I was just doing what felt natural.
His hands close around my hips, fingers flexing and gripping my skin. "How many other alphas have you presented for?"
The sweet-mannered Cordell I know is gone. His voice is deeper, and he almost sounds like a man possessed. Whatever he is, I wish he'd get on with it. I can feel slick leaking down my clit while my pussy pulses waiting for his attention.
"Only you," I manage to get out.
Another one of those sounds comes from him. I feel his cock head rubbing through the slick around my clit before he works it back to my entrance. Tortuously slow, he eases himself into me. From this angle, I'm completely at his mercy to do with what he will. The thought has me whimpering again, trying to press back against him.
"You're such a dirty girl," he tells me as he pulls out and slams himself back in. He's bottoming out and it's a fine line between pleasure and pain. "Just like I knew you'd be. Perfect in every way."
This position leaves me completely vulnerable and at his mercy, so all I can do is hold on for the ride he's taking me on.
I love how he knows exactly how to work me over to give me the most pleasure imaginable. Slow at one angle and fast at another. It's enough to have me wiggling my ass against him, begging for more. When his knot starts to swell, he drops, covering my back and bringing his lips to my neck. Automatically, I tilt my head, giving him permission. I trust him. I quite possibly love him more than I trust him.
His knot finds the spot meant just for alphas like him and it immediately sends me over the edge. I fall apart, crying his name and exposing as much of my neck as I physically can. Not even a few seconds later, the sharp sting of his teeth penetrate my skin, and I come again instantly. Over and over. One second of pleasure rolls into the next until it feels like it's never ending.
Not until he's got us laying on our sides with me tucked into him do the aftershocks kick in. He tosses half of the blanket over us and kisses the back of my head.
I lightly skim the mark he left where my neck meets my shoulder. It brings a smile to my face, but I have to wonder if he regrets it. I'm just too much of a coward to ask.
"I can tell what you're thinking," he whispers in my ear. "I may not be able to read your mind, but your scent and body language speak volumes. "I know what I did, and I'd do it all over again. Are you upset about it?"
"No," I admit quietly, still touching the spot. "I wanted it just as much as you did. A couple months ago, I could've never seen myself with a pack, and now, I can't see myself without yours. Will they be mad at us?"
"Mmm," he says thinking on it. "I don't think they will. They've waited a really long time for you. They'll just be jealous they didn't get to be your first."
I chuckle, pressing my face into his arm beneath my head. I guess we'll have to wait and see if he's right.
A couple days later, I get done with my classes and decide to spend some time with myself. Ever since meeting the pack, I haven’t done too much of that. Which, in itself is odd, considering I’ve always been more of a loner by necessity.
Sliding into the seat of my car, which still sounds crazy to say, even to myself, I head toward the city. The thought hadn’t really crossed my mind to where I’m going, I just needed a few minutes to breathe away from everyone and everything. Cordell and I still haven’t shared our secret with the rest of the pack. His mark has been hidden beneath the neckline of my shirts, thankfully. I don’t know how they’re going to react or if I’m supposed to be the one to tell them. It’s possible that he already told them, and we’re going about business as usual because it’s no big deal.
At the last minute, I cut into a parking garage connected to the mall. I’ve never been a big shopper, obviously, but I doubt that I’ll run into anyone I know here.
Taking my time walking around the different stores, I grab a bite to eat and a green tea from the boba stand. I’m still sipping it when I hear my name being called. Glancing around, I find Trinity waving at me as she walks into the store.
“Hey!” She says excitedly. “How are you? How’s it going?”
“I’m okay,” I tell her honestly. We were work pals, but never super open with each other. I wouldn’t begin to scratch the surface of my issues with her.
“I can’t believe Ross fired you,” she says.
“It is what it is,” I reply with a shrug, not angry in the least. “It was conflict of interest because I’m getting paid to work the social media at another bar.”
Her lips pop open in shock before she incredulously says, “Is that the reason he gave you? That’s not what happened, girl. I was there when everything went down.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
Putting a hand to her chest like she’s trying to calm down, she tells me, “There was a tall guy with dark hair, dressed spiffy a f. He flashed a fat wad of cash at Ross and told him it was his to keep if he’d fire you. Ross told him no at first, to be fair. Said you were worth more than that. The guy said he’d double it. And let me tell you, it had to be a high dollar amount since the man pulled out a check book and wrote Ross a check.”
My mind is racing. I don’t know which one it wants to figure out first, the fact that Ross sold me out or who the man was. I’ve got two different people in mind, both awful in their own way.
“Do you remember the man’s name?” I ask.
She shakes her head, but I ask anyway, “Daryl?”
“No,” she answers instantly. “I had an ex-boyfriend with that name. I would’ve remembered that.”
My heart thuds in my chest, feeling like it’s trying to jump into my throat. Please don’t be him. Please.
“Was is Roz or Rozwell?” I ask.
Her reaction is instantaneous. Perking up, she snaps her fingers as she says, “Yes! That’s it.”
The food and tea in my belly threaten to come back up, and I have to excuse myself just to make sure I don’t puke on her. I’m not sure I even remember to tell her bye. I also don’t remember driving to the pack house, yet here I sit staring at their front door. Three cars sit in the driveway. The most important one glaring at me from its spot.
Letting myself inside, I hear the murmur of chatter from the study so that’s where I head. I don’t exactly want to have this conversation in front of the others, but they all need to hear that I’m not one to be controlled with back handed shady shit. If Roz would’ve asked me to quit, I probably would have.
When I round the corner into the room, I almost take a step back out. Roz is standing facing the bookshelf with his hand resting on it, like it’s holding his entire body up. Brent is sitting in the chair facing the desk with his head in his hands. But, it’s Jake who pulls me up short. Hurt flashes in his expression before it morphs into anger.
“Hi, Billie,” he snaps out.
The other two whip their heads in my direction.
“What’s going on?” I ask, forgetting my problem for the moment.
“You have some gall to even step foot in this house,” Roz growls out angrily.
It takes me aback, but instead of letting my hurt show, it makes me just as angry instead. “That’s rich coming from you.”
He moves to his desk, pressing fists into his desk as he leans down on them to glare at me still standing at the door. “You didn’t think we’d find out. What, was this some little game?”
I knew they’d possibly upset about Cordell bonding me, but I didn’t think they’d be so angry. The hurt sours in my stomach. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t sure how this whole thing worked.”
“So, we were just pawns in your game then?” he snaps. “While, what? You’re climbing your ladder to the top. Was anything you ever told us true?”
“I didn’t ask for it,” I argue, my voice raising out of frustration. “It just happened.”
I barely register the sound of the front door opening and closing since Roz is looking at me like I’ve grown two heads. “How much did they pay you? I hope it was more than you got out of us.”
“What’s going on?” Cordell asks, coming around the corner with Palmer on his heels.
“I don’t know!” I yell, turning my head to face him. “I thought Roz was pissed because you bonded me, but he’s not making any sense now.”
“YOU DID WHAT?” Roz yells, coming around the edge of his desk and advancing toward us.
Fight or flight. Baby, I’m a chicken. For every step forward he takes, I move one backwards.
Cordell steps in front of me, holding his palms out in a calming manner. “Now, wait a minute, Roz. We talked about this possibility. Why the hell are you so pissed?”
“Because!” Roz yells. “You bonded a fucking traitor to this pack.”
Tears start flowing down my cheeks, and I refuse to look at anyone. I’ve never felt this level of shame, and I haven’t even done anything to earn it.
Roz stalks back over to his desk, grabbing up a stack of papers and turning around to let them trickle down to the floor. Around Cordell’s hip, I can see photos of me and Daryl from Sunday. One of me when I was angrily facing him down, and another with his arm around my shoulders.
“What the fuck?” I demand. “So, not only are you paying people to get me fired at my job, but you’re also having me followed and taking pictures of me like a fucking creep.”
Jake’s head drops, but he’s not looking at the mess. It’s like he’s purposely avoiding look at them at all.
“I wasn’t having you followed,” Roz admits. “I had someone looking into the firm who was trying to dig for information on my new case.”
It takes a minute or two, but I see Cordell’s shoulders fall.
I touch his back, and he flinches away from me. Hurt doesn’t even begin to cover it. Devastation is more like it. “That’s not what that is.”
“Give us your version of the truth then,” Roz challenges.
Pointing to the man in the photo, I tell them everything that’s happened over the past couple weeks and what he’s tried to get me to believe. I even look to Palmer for help, because he’d been the one to pick me up on the rough nights. His expression is blank as he stares at me.
Finding no help from him either, I try to tell them, “I didn’t know this man until a couple weeks ago. I still don’t know who he is.”
“Save it” Roz barks, holding up a palm. “We’ve heard enough. You need to gather any things you have here and leave.”
“So, that’s it then?” I ask. “You make an assumption without bothering to find the truth after you pay my boss off to fire me. Make me dependent on you then kick me to the curb. Was that the plan?”
At this Brent finally raises his head to look at Roz questioningly.
“I figured since we were already paying you that you wouldn’t need another job,” Roz fires back.
When I can pick my jaw up off the floor, I snap at him, “Oh, you mean the nice things your pack has gotten me? The things that were supposed to be gifts. That was you paying me?”
“No!” he barks loudly. “I’m talking about you being on the payroll of Jake’s bar. Specifically, the social media manager.”
Jake lifts his head to look at me, and I look at him first then the rest of them like this is some kind of joke. “I didn’t know that,” I half stutter out.
“It’s true,” Cordell says quietly like he can’t believe he’s defending me. “She had no idea it was our place.”
“I’m not even surprised that you knew at this point,” Roz snaps at him. “You’ve all but ruined this pack, so keep quiet.”
He may be as mad at me as the rest of them, but I’m not going to have Cordell taking the brunt of any of Roz’s anger meant for me. I toss him the key fob that I’d been clinching in my fist this whole time, not caring if he catches it or not. Spinning on my heel, I stalk out.
The sunshine isn’t as inviting as it was earlier. Maybe it never has been. Grabbing the few things that I’d left sitting in the passenger seat of the car, I shut the door and start walking down the driveway.
“Wait,” Palmer calls out behind me.
My response is to keep walking. Hopefully I’ll be strong enough to not look back.
He cuts me off by jumping in front of me as I make it to the curb. “It’s not true, is it?”
The words are there, but the truth is in his tone. He knows I’m not lying. If I can’t even convince him when he knows, then what’s even the point.
Stepping around him, I keep walking down the sidewalk away from their pack house. Away from the future I could’ve had.