Chapter 34
ROWAN
The first thing that wakes me is her scent.
It cuts through sleep before I’m fully conscious—warm, sharp, wrong. Not her usual soft vanilla and jasmine, but something heavier, richer, the kind of scent that steals air and sense at once. It drags a sound out of my chest before I even open my eyes.
Fuck.
I sit up fast enough, and the blanket slides off. The air is thick with it now, coating the back of my throat. I know that scent. Every Alpha knows it.
Heat.
My body locks up—heart hammering, skin too tight, every muscle caught in a split-second war between go to her and don’t you fucking move.
Except, I can’t not go to her. My mind’s shouting don’t, but instinct’s louder. I’m already on my feet, blanket forgotten, drawn by the pulse of her scent through the house—sweet, sharp, alive. Every step is a negotiation between logic and something ancient that doesn’t give a damn about logic.
Eli’s voice cuts from his room. “You smell it too?”
“Yeah.” My throat’s dry.
“It’s her heat?” he asks, cause as a Beta, he smells it too, but it doesn’t have the potent effect that it does on me as an Alpha.
A thin gold line of light bleeds under her door, striping the floor. I breathe through my mouth, counting the seconds, forcing my brain to think past instinct.
Cassian’s door opens next. His growl slides down the hall, low and dangerous. “That’s her.”
“I know.” I’m already knocking lightly on her door. “Let me check first.”
They don’t argue. Smart.
“Jess?”
Nothing.
Another second and I’m done waiting. I open the door.
She’s curled in the middle of a nest made from our shit—hoodies, flannels, even that stupid pirate flag near the lamp. Her skin’s flushed, damp. Pupils blown wide in the low light.
The look she gives me hits straight through my chest.
Dazed. Needy. Ours.
“Jess.” My voice comes out rough. “You’re in heat.”
Her breath catches—soft, desperate sound that shreds what’s left of my control. She shakes her head. Tiny movement.
“I can handle it,” she whispers.
Bullshit. Her scent’s screaming otherwise.
I take one step inside. Slow. “We’ve got you. But you let us do this right—understood?”
Her fingers twist in the fabric against her chest. The smallest nod.
Behind me, Eli’s voice—strained. “Rowan?”
“Stay at the door.” It comes out harsher than I mean. “Just—give me a minute.”
Because right now every part of me is fighting not to drop beside that nest and give her exactly what she’s asking for.
Not yet. Not until I know she’s clear-headed enough to choose it.
Even if waiting might kill me.
The room feels alive now—heat and scent and the faint rustle of her moving against fabric. She looks at me like I’m the only thing keeping her tethered.
I close the distance by another inch, keeping my tone steady. “Breathe for me, sweetheart.”
Her pupils track me, slow and glassy. She does as I ask, but her breath trembles. The hoodie she’s wearing—mine—is half off her shoulder, skin damp, pulse fluttering just under the curve of her throat.
“Good,” I murmur. “That’s it.”
The words are for her, but mostly they’re for me.
Eli’s still hovering in the doorway, torn between wanting to help and knowing better. Cassian’s low growl vibrates through the wall; he’s pacing, barely holding it together.
“She’s burning up,” Eli says.
“I know.” I keep my eyes on her. “Go get water. And something cool—a towel, ice pack, whatever’s clean.”
He disappears without argument. The sound of his footsteps fades, replaced by the slow rhythm of Jess’s breathing.
She tries to sit up and winces. “Everything hurts.”
“I know, baby. It’s starting.”
Her gaze flicks toward the door. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Probably not.” I crouch beside the nest, close enough to feel the heat radiating off her skin. “But I’m not leaving you like this.”
I dip a hand toward the edge of the blanket, careful not to touch. “May I?”
She hesitates, then nods.
I peel back one layer so the air can move. The scent thickens immediately, heavy enough to taste—sweet and salt and want. My control cracks for half a heartbeat before I drag it back into place.
Eli returns with a bowl of ice water and a towel. I take it, wring it out, and press it gently to the side of her neck. She sighs, eyes fluttering closed.
“That’s better,” she whispers.
“Good.” I keep my voice low. “You tell me if it gets worse.”
Her lashes lift, unfocused. “It’s already worse.”
The words hit harder than they should.
I shift the towel, swipe the cool fabric along her collarbone. Her scent spikes in answer, curling around me like smoke. My body reacts instantly, predictably. I bite down a curse.
“Rowan…”
Her tone is wrecked—pleading and soft in a way that strips every defense I have.
I lean in, forehead almost touching hers. “You need to be sure before I take another step, Jess. Once we cross this line, there’s no going back.”
Her words slam into me—heat, want, the kind of need that scrapes bone.
My control buckles. I have to ask. I have to.
I swallow hard. “Jess… yellow or green?”
If she says yellow, I’ll pull back. If she says red—God, it’ll gut me, but I’ll walk. I’ll do it for her. I’ll do it even if it tears me in half.
She grabs the front of my shirt, dragging me closer, breath hot and shaking against my mouth.
“Green,” she snarls. “Fucking green, Rowan. I want you so bad it hurts. I want all of you.”
The sound of it hits me low and brutal.
The sound of her hunger—raw, filthy, begging for all of us—hits me low and vicious.
Every wall I’ve built around her shatters.
I’m on her in the next breath.
I grab her waist and drag her into me, mouth crashing against hers in a kiss that’s been clawing at my ribs for weeks. It’s not careful. It’s not polite. It’s every fucking second I’ve held myself back finally detonating.
She moans into my mouth, fisting my shirt, my hair, pulling me closer like she wants me under her skin. Her body arches against mine, hot and shaking, and I swear I feel her tremble straight through my bones.
“Fuck,” Cassian says, and sinks down next to us.
Jess moans, her hand going to him, pulling him behind her while I devour her mouth. My cock is harder than it’s ever been.
Eli kneels on her left, his hand gliding up her shirt, his other rubbing my cock through my underwear. And I groan against Jess’s lips.
Her tongue slides against mine, desperate and wild, and I’m lost. Lost in the taste of her, the scent of her, the fucking need that’s been building for what feels like forever.
My hands find her hips, grip tight, and pull her against me.
She gasps into my mouth, her body rolling against mine in a way that sends heat spiraling through every nerve ending.
I palm her sex, tracing her folds with my thumb, and she gasps against my mouth, grinding herself into my palm. She’s so wet, so hot, so fucking ready.
Cassian’s hands are on her now, rough and possessive, sliding up her thighs. She leans back into him, her body melting even as she keeps her grip on me. Eli’s touch is lighter, more deliberate, as he caresses her side, his other hand still stroking me, grounding me.
I tear my lips away, only to press them to her throat, her collarbone, anywhere I can taste her skin. She’s salt and sweetness, and her moans are driving me insane. Behind her, Cassian’s hands are under the hoodie, running up her spine, her sides, his growl a low, constant rumble.
She rubs herself onto my palm and her ass into Cassian.
Fuck! I want inside her now. I want her screams on my tongue.
Her breath comes in short, sharp gasps. Every sound, every movement from her sends a shockwave through me, urging me to take, to claim. But I hold back, even as my body screams to let go.
“More,” she begs, her voice a hoarse whisper.
Cassian’s hands slide up to cup her breasts.
She arches into his touch, her body pressed tightly between us.
Eli’s hand leaves me and gently grips her chin, turning her head to claim a kiss of his own.
Watching her melt between them, her sounds muffled by Eli’s mouth, sends a surge of primal satisfaction through me.
Her scent is a fucking drug, and I’m high on it. Every touch, every sound, every fucking taste of her skin sends another rush through me. Her heat, her need, like it’s my own. It’s driving me insane, and I fucking love it.
I slip a finger inside her, and she cries out, her body clamping down on me. She’s so tight, so hot, so fucking perfect.
Mine. Ours.
“More,” she gasps, her head falling back against Cassian’s shoulder. He growls, his teeth nipping at her ear, her neck. I can see the mark he wants to leave, the claim he wants to make. Fuck, I want it too. I want to see her come with me inside her, with Cassian, and watch her and Eli both orgasm.
I add another finger, stretching her, feeling her body open for me. She moves restlessly, seeking friction between my palm and Cassian’s touch.
“Please,” Jess begs, her voice a choked sob. “Please. It hurts so much.”
I know what she needs with how her pussy clenches around my fingers, in the desperate plea in her voice. She needs more than just my fingers, more than just Cassian’s teeth on her skin. She needs us to fill her, to complete her.
I look up, locking eyes with Cassian first, then Eli. There’s a silent communication, a shared understanding.
“Let go, Jess,” I murmur against her skin, feeling her pulse race under my lips. “We’ve got you.”
Eli pulls my sweatshirt off her, then starts to suck on her breast. Cassian needs the other breast while pressing his cock deeper along the fold of her ass.
Her hips jolt, pushing into my palm and back into Cassian.
Her body trembling, her muscles coiling tight.
I can sense Cassian’s urgency matching mine, his hands gripping her tighter, his growls growing deeper.
Eli’s touch is feather-light compared to ours, but no less intense, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin that make her shiver.