Chapter 41
JESS
“They’re not only safe,” Cassian says, his voice steady in that way that always means he’s holding something back. “They found their Alphas. Their packs.”
“What?” The word comes out half-breath, half-disbelief. Relief slams through me hard. “They’re mated? Good, I want them obnoxiously happy—sleep-like-babies, laugh-until-it-hurts happy. Happier than me, if that’s even possible.”
Eli grins, unable to hold it in. “Danica’s with Fever. You know—the rock band that did the end credits for The Sky Between Us?”
“Eli,” Rowan warns under his breath. “Her friend probably wanted to tell her that in person.”
“Sorry,” Eli mutters, but he’s smiling and blushing.
“Wow. Danica?” Warmth floods my chest. “That’s incredible. She always had this beautiful, soulful voice. Her dad used to drive her to every audition until…” My throat tightens. Until the accident. “God, I’m so happy for her.”
“Kayla’s in Hawaii,” Cassian adds, softer. “Living her best life. Something about a library and three Alphas who’d do anything for her.”
I huff a laugh. “That totally sounds like Kayla.”
“Hey,” Eli pouts and crosses his arms, “I thought we weren’t supposed to tell her.”
Rowan shifts. “And Casey is pulling them all together again. She’s been asking around for you.”
“Of course she has.” I laugh.
“She wants to meet,” Rowan says. “We didn’t tell you sooner because… of Blake and the court case, everything.”
Heat pricks behind my eyes. My friends are okay, better than okay. I squeeze Rowan’s hand so hard he probably loses circulation. “When does Casey want to meet? Because I’m ready yesterday. Seriously, give me an address and I’ll hotwire a car if you make me wait.”
Rowan’s mouth twitches. “Not necessary.”
Cassian snorts. “There’s the Jess we know.”
“Here.” Eli pulls out a sleek phone—black glass and chrome. “Had all your data from the phone you lost in the Nexus bus crash. But if you want a different model, we can—”
“Are you kidding?” I snatch it from his hands, turning it over. My photos. My contacts. My ridiculous text threads with the girls. “You got everything?”
“Everything,” Eli confirms, looking stupidly pleased with himself.
My throat goes tight. These men saved my photos, texts, all of it. “I—” Words fail and tackle Eli first, then Cassian, then Rowan, hugging each of them like I’m trying to fuse our atoms together. “You’re unreal. I can’t believe you did this. Thank you all so much.”
“We know,” Cassian murmurs, grinning against my temple. “You’re not exactly subtle.”
“Good,” I shoot back. “Subtle’s boring.”
Eli laughs. “Careful, or we’ll think you actually like us.”
“Shut up,” I mumble, but I’m grinning so hard my face hurts.
Eli’s smile softens and he clears his throat. “There’s…one more thing. The ninety days are up. Technically, they ended three days ago, but Nexus gave us an extension because of the trial. Now they want an answer.”
His fingers brush mine. “If you want to make us your official pack or not.”
Air hits weird—tight and hot—and I ride it out. I’ve never asked a question that mattered this much.
For years, I’ve been the girl no one asked if I was okay after Sabrina.
If I wanted or needed anything. I was the girl who laughed too loud, moved too fast, stole her mom’s car, and pretended the empty house didn’t get her.
I made myself sharp so no one could see the soft parts. So no one could leave me behind again.
But standing here, looking at them: at Rowan’s steady gaze, Cassian’s clenched jaw, Eli’s hopeful smile, I realize I’m done hiding. If I’m going to do this, if I’m going to stay, I need to be brave enough to let them see me. All of me. Even the parts that are still bleeding.
If they’re going to choose me, it has to be the real me. The messy, scared, too-much version I’ve kept locked down for years. And if they don’t—
God, if they don’t, it’ll destroy me. But at least I’ll know I was brave enough to ask.
“Wait. My turn first.” I lift a hand. “I know what you lost with Meredith. I know what that grief did to you.” I force myself to hold their gazes even though every instinct screams to look away, to laugh it off, to be the girl who doesn’t need answers.
“A-and I need you honest—not noble, not kind. Are you choosing me because you want ME, or because you can’t stand the empty space?
Because if your Alpha instincts just can’t handle losing another Omega, if I’m the Band-Aid on a wound that won’t close, then I need to know now. ”
My voice cracks. Damn it. “Because I’ve lived in shadows my whole life. Sabrina’s ghost. The invisible daughter. The girl who had to make noise just to prove she existed. I won’t—” I swallow hard. “I won’t be a placeholder. Not even for you. I need to know I’m not just... convenient.”
“Jess—” Rowan starts.
“Stop.” In two strides, Cassian’s hands are on my face, rough palms impossibly gentle. His fingers flex like he’s fighting the urge to haul me in. “You think we’d want you out of obligation?”
“You’re good men who do the right thing even when it wrecks them,” I say. “So I’m asking straight: is this what you really want, not what you think you owe?”
“Christ.” His thumb catches a tear. “You really don’t see it, do you?”
See what? That I’m not Meredith. Not Sabrina. Not the compliant daughter the Institute tried to sand smooth.
Do they want the messy, difficult, stubborn version—the one who gave away her breakfast, squared up to Alphas, and refused to disappear quietly? The version I’ve been told my whole life was wrong?
My throat tightens. I won’t cry. Something behind my ribs cracks open anyway, just enough for hope.
Eli steps in, shoulder brushing mine. “You need to hear it from us first,” he says. “No witnesses. No Nexus. Just us.”
Rowan moves until the three of them box me in—solid, safe, terrifying. “Jess, look at me.”
The command steadies me.
“You walked into this house and made it breathe again.” Rowan’s palm warms the back of my neck, thumb stroking slow circles.
“You made me want mornings. Laughter. You made me want you. Remember that first day? You told Cassian not to call you sweetheart, and you said it in a way that sounded like you’d jam the chopstick in his eyeball if he did it again.
I knew then—even if he didn’t—that you weren’t just passing through.
That was the first day in years that didn’t hurt. ”
A sound rips out of me, half laugh, half sob.
“Losing Meredith didn’t just break us—it hollowed us,” Eli says, threading his fingers through mine. “Rowan buried himself in work. Cassian fought everything with a pulse. I kept waiting for something to feel right again. It never did.
“Not until you. You didn’t replace her, Jess.
You healed us. You hum when you do dishes, and it makes this place sound alive.
Every time I see Churro on the couch or that ridiculous wall-eyed shark you won at the carnival, I remember what home feels like.
” His smile wobbles. “And I love you for it. Every loud, impossible, beautiful inch of you.”
He loves me. The words hit like an impact, stealing my breath. My knees dip, and I’m grateful for his hand.
“You drive me insane,” Cassian grinds out.
“You talk back. You throw knives better than anyone I know. Half the time, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or lock you somewhere safe.
But you’re it. You’re home. My damn sun—the center everything spins around now.
” His hand slides into my hair, tipping my face up.
“I don’t let people in. Then you showed up—stubborn, brave—and knocked me off my feet. ”
“I love you, Jess,” he says, voice shaking. “I love you so goddamn much it scares me.”
I can’t breathe. The air won’t go in right.
They love me. Not the performance. Not the sharp-edged, car-stealing, knife-throwing version I’ve been selling since I was sixteen. They love me!
Something inside me just—breaks. Shatters.
I make a sound I’ve never made before, raw and ugly and too big for my chest. Then I’m crying—not the pretty kind, but the kind that rips through you, the kind you can’t stop or control or apologize for.
The kind I haven’t let myself cry since the night I realized Sabrina wasn’t coming back, and no one was going to look for me the same way.
My hands shake as I reach for them, trying to hold on while my entire universe reshapes itself around three words: I love you.
Rowan’s palm stays firm at my nape. Eli presses his forehead to my temple. I’m surrounded by them—bergamot, amber, leather, sandalwood, rain—and everything that means home.
“We choose you,” Rowan murmurs into my hair. “Not out of duty. Not because the trial’s over. Because you belong with us, I love you, Jess.”
“So stop protecting us from yourself,” Eli adds, a smile in his voice. “We’re not going anywhere unless you order us to go.”
“Good,” I huff, wet-laughing. “Because I’m not letting go.”
I pull back to see their faces. They’re all looking at me like I hung the stars, and any version of choosing anything but them stabs me clean through my ribs.
“After Sabrina disappeared, I learned how to disappear first,” I say. “How to not ask. How to pack light and keep moving.”
“It’s your call,” Cassian says quietly, hand at my jaw. “If you walk out that door, we won’t stop you. We’ll break, but we’ll let you go.”
That undoes me more than anything. Because they would.
“I know,” I whisper. “But every time I trusted, I got burned. So I swore I’d never do it again.
Then you three happened.” My chest aches with how big it feels.
“I love you. All of you. You gave me everything I thought I’d lost—family, home, people who see me.
You fixed parts I didn’t know were broken. And I still pick you—eyes open.”
“Say it,” Cassian murmurs, rough as gravel.