Chapter 19
Silver
“Straight to the point,” Munro breathes, now looking as nervous as I am. Great. Because that makes me feel better about whatever the hell is about to leave his mouth. When I don’t bite at the hook he’s thrown at me, ignoring it entirely in lieu of staring at him with a patience I don’t feel, he nods and his face falls with acceptance. He licks his lip for a moment before he finally asks, “Have you heard the name Veronica mentioned at all?”
I don’t bother lying, because what’s the point? “Yeah, I know the name. No idea who it is other than she seems like a royal bitch.”
Munro snorts humorlessly and shakes his head as his inky gaze drops to the floor, like looking at me and explaining his story would be too much at the same time, so I sink into the cushions of the couch as I wait.
“That’s one way to put it. She was my girlfriend up until a year ago. We dated for two years before things ended,” he explains, and I suddenly hate the cunt as fiercely as I hate onions and the scent of lavender. I don’t even try to evaluate why that is, but it’s like a switch is flipped inside me that went from indifferent towards this stranger to wanting to set her house on fire with her in it. It’s actually kind of alarming, and I’m right back to chewing my fingernails like the troubled omega I clearly am.
“She was an omega, came from a wealthy family, and had the world at her fingertips. I thought the world of her,” he says bitterly, and the hate for the girl only grows, because I don’t like that I have things in common with her. Don’t like it at all. “For the longest time, I thought she was the perfect girl. Smart, funny, beautiful. She was popular with everyone, thought highly of. I couldn’t believe my luck when she decided to give me a shot. The poor foster kid with only a few clothes and personal belongings to his name. I thought I’d hit the jackpot, and not because of her money. I didn’t care about it, because the way she looked at me made me feel richer than any amount of dollars could.”
Mhm. Yep. Burning her whole house to the ground.
Munro goes quiet for a couple of seconds before he scoffs and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive pose that I can understand. “It took me a while to realize it was all bullshit. That it was a veneer she wore to hide the manipulative, vile, little bitch she was.”
“How so?” I wonder quietly, unclenching my teeth enough to ask the question.
Munro shrugs. “She was this perfect, little omega in the eyes of so many, but behind closed doors, let’s just say a viper would have been better to sleep next to at night. It took a year for the sweet personality to fade, her true colors coming out when she thought she had me under her thumb, but by that point, I was head over heels for her. She’d lie and cheat all the time, and then play the victim when I caught her out, claiming she was the best I’d get. That I was a worthless nobody who wouldn’t find anyone who’d love me like she could. Told me I was lucky to have the scraps she was throwing me, because it was more than I’d get anywhere else. She would lord money over my head, fuck with my emotions, and twist my mind in any ways she saw fit, and I would let her, because I believed her. I felt worthless. I felt like a nobody. But I felt like a somebody when I met her, I felt like I meant something to someone when she came into the picture.”
Munro shakes his head like he can’t believe his past self for being so stupid, and I have to fight the urge to comfort him. I’m still pissed at him, godsdamn it.
“Veronica threw her money around as much as she did her twat, but I didn’t see it until I was trapped in her web, stuck and clawing to get out,” he says, tone a little shaky but words strong. “She didn’t want to settle down with a pack, but the guys were happy for me to have a relationship with her outside of the pack. They figured she was a fling, didn’t know I’d actually fallen for her, and they didn’t know what she was like before everything went to shit. See, Veronica liked her projects. She liked finding broken things to either fix or break until they were unrecognizable. She saw me, the freshly turned eighteen-year-old beta without a cent to his name and thought ‘that one. That’s the one I’m going to ruin.’ And she did. After two years of gaining my trust and love, expertly manipulating me until I thought she sat on a pedestal no other could reach, she ruined it by bonding with a pack she’d been keeping hidden from me. She laughed while she broke my heart, callously mocking me for thinking I could have what she did. I was just a tragic game she was playing, and she won.”
Munro chuckles, though there’s nothing warm or humorous about it. It’s a hollow sound, sad and heart-achingly dejected. “It took months for me to realize she’d been playing me all along, like I was a test subject she was experimenting with before she decided to accept a wealthy pack’s bonds and threw me to the dirt where she thought I belonged. It’s crazy, though, because I never expected to form bonds with her or anything. I mean, I’m a beta, right? I can’t create those bonds. But it never even crossed my mind. I figured loving her would be enough. She chose me, after all.”
The more he speaks, the more my blood boils, and not for one specific reason. With every detail revealed, more pieces fit into the puzzle that is Munro. His friendship with Juno makes more sense now. Juno came into the picture running from her abusive past, not a penny to her name growing up. They’re cut from the same cloth, and I can see now how they consider themselves platonic soulmates. But it’s the way he regards me that now makes the most sense, and it forms an ache in my chest when it dawns on me exactly what he’s saying.
“So, you, what, just assumed I’d be the same? You shoved me into the same category as that vile cretin because you thought, what? That I was another rich girl looking for a game to play? You didn’t even know I had money until Juno told you I bought her a truck for her birthday, so what, being an omega was enough to hate me on sight? Juno’s omega and you two are thick as thieves. So, what is it about me that made me so unlikable?” I ask, tone slightly harder than before, anger toward this Veronica bitch and Munro now thrumming through my veins.
Munro’s head finally rises and he curses when he sees the lack of calm on my face. “It’s not that I tried putting you in the same box as her, Silver. Is that I didn’t want to risk the possibility that you could be the same. I knew before the truck that you had money, because I looked into you when you and Juno started getting close. That’s when I realized that you just weren’t a pretty omega. You were an omega with money, with connections, and the power to ruin me and my family.”
“And that makes it better? Fucking hell, Munro, what kind of person do you take me for?” I ask, my feelings getting hurt the more I think about it. I wish he’d never told me and let me think he was an asshole of origins unknown. It was better that way, because I didn’t feel like I was judged for the despicable treatment his ex inflicted upon him.
“I was wrong, princess. I was so fucking wrong, and you’ve proven it time and time again. You proved it to me as soon as you cried and called me out on my bullshit after I fucking yelled at you like a dick,” he hurries to explain, sitting forward and leaning his elbows on his knees, linking his hands together. “There was a time where Veronica decided to test how much I loved her. She went out and didn’t take her cell and didn’t tell me where she was going. For hours I spent hours pacing my room at Pace’s or searching the fucking streets for her, sick to my stomach and worried out of my mind. Turns out she was at a hotel meeting up with the pack she would end up with. She got some sick satisfaction out of seeing me unravel, loved seeing that I cared enough that I was losing my mind, all the while she was having dinner and with a pack she was seeing behind my back.”
We fall into a tense silence after that particular bomb, and I’m forced to work through my anger. Yes, I can see why that kind of trauma would produce the level of animosity I’ve received, but the fact remains that he didn’t bother to give me the benefit of the doubt. He wrote me off before he could see that I wasn’t like his ex. He didn’t even give me a chance before he decided I was a risk not worth taking, not even in friendship.
I can’t say that doesn’t hurt.
Clearing my throat of the feelings now lodged in it, I ask, “So, this whole time I’ve had to deal with your bullshit, it was all down to what some other chick put you through? Instead of giving me a shot, you let your trauma blind you and made me feel like I was a nuisance because you didn’t want to risk that I would turn out to be another Veronica?”
Sighing, Munro hangs his head like he’s ashamed of himself. “I’m still dealing with a whole lot of shit she put me through, still trying to cleanse my head of the shit she’s ingrained in me. I didn’t mean to cut you out before you even introduced yourself. It just happened, and the more you kept popping up, the harder it was to separate you and Veronica. The more similarities there was, the more fucked in the head I got about you, and I know that wasn’t fair to you.”
I’m silent for a long moment before I finally whisper, “I’m not Veronica, Munro. I’m Silver. I’m the daughter of a pack who only thought of money and power while I was growing up. The project of a woman who was meant to love, care for, and nurture me, only to be formed into a puppet she could show off to her wealthy friends. I’m the girl who’s life has been controlled until I ran away at sixteen, to my grandparents who finally let me live without repercussions. I’m the girl who doesn’t use the trust fund I was gifted to at eighteen by those very same grandparents, instead using the money I earn from working at a club as a DJ to get through life. I’m the girl with a bare closet because I don’t like buying stuff for myself until Juniper forces me to or that stuff is a cherry-black Ducati. I’m the girl who offered you and your pack a place to stay after spending weeks on end either being ignored or scowled at. I’m the girl you’ve treated like shit all this time, because you didn’t want to open your eyes and actually see that I wasn’t your ex.”
Munro is watching me so intently that I fear he isn’t blinking. His raven eyes are fervent as he stares, hands clenched tightly while he listens to me berate him gently, my words cutting more than my tone.
“I’m not Veronica,” I repeat, and he nods slowly.
“I know that. I’ve known it for a while, but I’ve been letting her get into my head any time you’re around. I didn’t mean to, and I realize now how deeply she dug her claws, but I see it, princess,” he assures, tone deadly serious, just as his expression is. “The moment I saw that first tear fall, it broke something in me, because it hit me then how badly I fucked up. In all the time I knew Veronica, not once did she ever spill a single tear. She got angry, yeah. Fuck, did she get angry. But never did she cry. Pretty sure she isn't capable of any emotion that would warrant tears. But that’s not all. She was never considerate. She wouldn’t have made sure her best friend could find her if she needed her. She wouldn’t have given a pack she barely knew a place to stay out of the goodness of her heart. She wouldn’t buy lunch for them constantly, ensuring they were fed. And she certainly wouldn’t have graced me with the opportunity to explain after treating her like shit.”
“I’m questioning my own choices without you pointing them out, thank you very much,” I snark blandly, both regretting allowing this little talk and grateful for the insight I now have to the miserable, grumpy as fuck beta.
Munro offers me the first real smile I’ve ever seen on him, void of animosity and misplaced anger, and my breath catches before I inhale harshly. Pretty sure I almost swallow my tongue because, despite my anger toward the beta, there’s no denying that he’s a good-looking bastard, and moreso when he actually smiles without sarcasm or smart-assery.
When I don’t smile back, or react more than gaping at him really, Munro clears his throat awkwardly and rubs his fist over his mouth before nodding to himself. He clenches his jaw, seems to think about something for a long minute, before he takes a deep breath and quietly but sincerely offers, “I was wrong, Silver. I was wrong about you in every way, and I just wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I won’t excuse it, and I’m not using my shit with Veronica to brush it off. I’m in the wrong, those are my issues, and I shouldn’t have projected them onto you. I’m sorry.”
It’s a pretty apology, and he looks like he means it. Sounds like he means it. But there’s a part of me, maybe petty or maybe self protecting, that holds onto my anger towards him. How do I forgive the guy who’s made me feel like a pest all this time? Who ignored me at any chance, who threw snide comments at me, who made me feel like the shit on the bottom of his shoe, all because of a woman I’m nothing like?
Pretty apologies don’t wipe that kind of shit away, so although I’m sure he means it, that he truly is remorseful over the crap I’ve had to deal with, I tell him honestly, “As much as I’d like to forgive and forget, you’ve hurt me a little too much for a little too long for my brain to make that switch. I wasn’t expecting anything from you, Munro, but I figured friendship wasn’t too much to ask until you showed me that it was. I don’t know how to get past that, especially now that Aero, Rage, and Haze…”
I sigh and watch as Munro’s jaw clenches again, his hands tightening as he listens, that strange look crossing his face. Envy or jealousy, maybe? I don’t know. But what I do know is that, when he opens his mouth to speak, only to close it a second later before a word slips out, his eyes spark with something. Something he’s wanting to share, but doesn’t. It makes me curious, but then again, a lot of things about Munro makes me curious. It’s probably how he’s managed to hurt me as much as he has, because my curiosity toward the tatted beta with a bad attitude has left me open to his bad attitude. My curiosity has led me to wanting a friendship with him, led me to fantasizing about him in ways that aren’t entirely friendship based, and has found me disappointed when I get the shitty version of Munro no one else seems to get.
Instead of voicing all of that to him, I simply ask, “Why did you decide to apologize or talk to me now?”
Again, something flashes over his face before he battles it back, forming a response that doesn’t feel like the original he would have given me if he hadn’t stopped himself. “My pack means the world to me. They’re my family, the ones who put me back together when Veronica shattered me. I owe them everything, and I’ve been acting like a bastard by being a shit to you. Aero is mad for you, if you didn’t know already. Haze and Rage are quickly growing attached, anyone with eyes can see it. Pace… I think he likes you, but fuck if I know. That guy keeps his feelings bottled up nice and tight. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that it looks like the guys have found someone worth fighting me over. That’s never happened before. Rage has never stuck up for anyone before you, opting to keep to himself. Aero hasn’t been interested in girls for years, finding them too hard work, until you came along and made being with you as easy as breathing. Haze hasn’t ever gotten angry at me before that night I yelled at you. That was new. Their feelings are growing for you, and I don’t want to be the link in the pack that ruins it for them. You offered them a do over and look where you are now. I was hoping, when you’re ready or can spare some grace, that you’d offer the same generosity toward me. I’d love a do over, Silver. A chance to start fresh. But only if you’re willing to offer it to me. Either way, I don’t want things to be weird for you guys, and I wanted to clear the air more than anything.”
I hear what he’s saying, but my brain latches onto a part of his speech that I can’t seem to ignore. A between the lines kind of thing, really. “My do over ended up with two alphas and an omega claiming me as theirs. Is that the kind of do over you’re looking for, or are you just looking for a ‘friends’ situation where things don’t have to be awkward at dinner going forward?”
Munro’s eyes flash, and that look crosses his face again, and I suddenly find it hard to breathe. My heart is hammering rapidly beneath my rib cage, and I only briefly wonder if he can hear the fast-paced tempo. I sure can, the sound echoing in my ears as it finally dawns on me that… Munro likes me? Like, Aero, Haze, and Rage like me?
The beta’s lips twitch as his eyes narrow, his inky-black gaze watching me closely as I come to realize something absolutely maddening. “Looks like that smart brain of yours still works perfectly fine.”
“I thought you hated me?” I blurt, not sure I’m willing to accept this new development.
“You want honesty, princess?” he asks bluntly, some of his sass coming back. Weirdly, it relaxes me, because it’s what I’m used to from him. Giving him a look that says ‘duh, idiot,’ I nod, and he snorts before growing serious. He takes a deep breath, like he’s trying to steel himself, before he finally confesses, “I never hated you, Silver. And that’s what pissed me off the most. Here I was, struggling with my bullshit, and then you came skipping into my life with your bubblegum personality, vibrance for life, and a smile that could slay weaker men. I hated how easy I knew it would be to fall for you if I let myself, and I hated that that thought ever crossed my mind. I fell for a girl who made it easy once, and I got fucked over for it. You were my trauma-based enemy, but you’re also the woman I can’t stop thinking about. Guess it was easier to act like I hated you than it did trying to figure out all the shit going on in my head.”
Well, shit. That’s not what I was expecting. Not at all.
I’m rendered speechless for a long moment, and Munro allows me to absorb his words, patiently watching me for any sign that I might lose it. A valid response, because I might be on the brink, overwhelmed and a mess of emotion I’m struggling to work through.
“So, to surmise and confirm; you were a dick to me because of your trauma with another woman, but you don’t hate me, you hate that you didn’t hate me while you were dealing with aforementioned trauma? But you actually like me and want to start over and be friends? More than friends?” I wonder, genuinely struggling to wrap my brain around this shit.
Munro shrugs and chews on the inside of his cheek, watching me closely for my reaction as he says, “Princess, I’ll take whatever the fuck you’re willing to spare me at this point. I’ve tried hating you, and I can’t. I’ve let my fear and trauma rule my emotions and decisions, and then I saw you cry, and it tore a piece of my soul out and shredded it. I’m sitting on the sidelines of my own pack, angry at myself, at Veronica, at the world, and at you because you’re giving yourself to my packmates and I have to sit back and watch, lying in the bed I made. You want to be friends? Fucking awesome, I’ll accept it. You ever think you could have more with me? I will die happy and make sure you never feel the way I’ve made you feel ever again. You want to kick me to the curb completely? I’ll understand and respect it. But whatever you decide, Silver, know that what you have blossoming with the others won’t be impacted by me. They’re my pack, but you’re quickly becoming a part of that, and I won’t ruin something like that for my brothers.”
I can do nothing but sit in stunned silence, my brain officially broken by the man I thought hated me all this time. The man who’s gone through it and came out the other end swinging. Swinging at me, mind you, but hell, he’s fighting.
Munro can clearly see the chaos of my mind painted across my face and, for the first time in every one of our encounters, the bad-boy beta with tattoos all over him and an attitude that would send a nun to a brewery offers me a warm, soft smile that muddles my mind even more.
“Have a think about it before you decide to write me off the way I deserve, okay? I know second chances are meant to be earned, and if that’s what it takes to have a clean slate with you, I’ll do it. I’m more than willing to make things right, princess,” Munro declares, standing from the couch in one fluid motion. He rubs his hands over his black jeans riddled with tears and nods, before he turns and begins to exit my studio, leaving me with a whirling mind and a headache the size of North U.
I’m rubbing my head when Munro stops suddenly and turns, still smiling that sweet smile I’ve only seen on him today. It turns a little sheepish and shy when he speaks, leaving me gaping at him like I’ve just encountered a stranger and not the guy I’ve been plotting the demise of. “You look beautiful today, by the way. You always look beautiful, but you look good dressed down and comfy.”
And with that, he disappears, leaving me to stew with my tremulous thoughts and chaotic energy, feelings, and emotions.