6
Afew days later, during a break between patients, I’m looking at that photo again, the Las Vegas sign. It’s been haunting me; a riddle I can’t solve.
Needing a distraction, I decide to follow up on that strange lunch incident.
My fingers fly over my cell phone as I text Melanie.
Tiffany: Question. Last week? When new guy was at lunch? I went away and when I came back, everyone was upset. What happened?
Melanie: Nothing.
Tiffany: Tell me.
Melanie: Don’t worry about it.
Tiffany: MELANIE!!
Melanie: OK. OK. Don’t yell at me. It was Patrick.
Tiffany: UGH! He’s the worst.
Melanie: The worst!! Can’t stand him.
Tiffany: Same. So? What was it this time?
Melanie: Talked crap about U. Told him to stop.
Tiffany: What did he say?
The cursor on the screen blinks its three little dots for a long time. The visual equivalent of Melanie hesitating. I imagine her typing out an answer, erasing it, and then typing it out again. Finally, the blue bubble pops up.
Melanie: Called U an ice queen.
Tiffany: That’s all?
Melanie: Asked Ethan if he enjoyed spending time with the “ice queen.” Sorry. He sucks.
Tiffany: It’s OK. Other residents call me that, too.
Melanie: Not OK.
Tiffany: Been called worse.
Melanie: They’re jealous. You keep acing our exams.
Tiffany: I study a lot.
The cursor flashes for a couple of seconds, and I wait patiently.
Melanie: Want to go out tonight? Some of us are going to dinner.
I sigh, already knowing my answer. Melanie won’t like it, and I feel guilty about that. I wonder how long will she keep asking me to hang out before she tires of rejection and walks away. She wouldn’t be the first person to give up on me.
Many times, I’ve almost said yes to her.
Yes to happy hour.
Yes to spa days.
Yes to becoming friends.
It’s been so long since I had an actual friend. So long that I’ve been alone and lonely. I’m tempted, just for a moment, to accept her invitation. But then I remember how losing a friend hurts, how the pain echoes down through the silence of the days, months, and years that follow.
No thanks. Never again.
Tiffany: Appreciate the offer, but not my scene. More of a stay-home-and-read-with-my-cat kind of person.
Again, the three dots form and reform for several seconds. I wait for Melanie’s response. When it comes, I have the sense it’s not what she originally wrote.
Melanie: Just don’t turn into a crazy cat lady.
Tiffany: I do have a cat…
Melanie: Ha. Ha. Funny.
I chuckle, picturing Melanie’s expression right now. Bet she’s rolling her eyes at me, with that trademark look of resigned exasperation.
Melanie: Sorry Patrick’s a jerk.
Tiffany: No biggie.
Melanie: I like Ethan. He stood up for you, told Patrick he was wrong. You’d think he wouldn’t want to ruffle any feathers since he was interviewing, but he called Patrick unprofessional. Said U deserved respect.
Tiffany: Really??
Melanie: Yep.
I frown. What a strange thing for Ethan to do. We weren’t really getting along. I certainly hadn’t been very nice to him. Sure, I had agreed to not badmouth him to Dr. Washburn, but, besides that, I don’t know why he would fight for me.
Tiffany: Weird.
Melanie: He get the residency spot?
Tiffany: Starts next week. Washburn just told me.
Melanie: Good.
Tiffany: Washburn says I have to train him, but I don’t want to. Didn’t really like Ethan.
Melanie: Why?
Tiffany: Too good looking and obviously knows it. He’s entitled. He’s arrogant. And he’s way too quick to point out other people’s mistakes.
Tiffany: Also, not sure I’ll be a good teacher.
Melanie: Ethan’s nice. You’ll do fine. Need help?
Tiffany: Cover biopsies again?
Melanie: No problem.
Tiffany: Thanks.
Melanie: No worries. Remember, you’ll be a great teacher.
Tiffany: If you say so.
Melanie: Hey, did U get Resident of the Month?
Tiffany: Nope.