Chapter Two
Terry battled the surge of emotions coursing through him as he and Phil walked through their West Hollywood neighborhood, their gloved fingers entwined.
They’d both donned their warmest coats and scarves to battle the evening chill.
Southern California was in the midst of a cold spell that had plunged the temperatures into the thirties.
That level of cold wasn’t unheard of for a December evening, but not the norm either.
Phil hadn’t quizzed him yet about his first experience of being fed, he’d merely asked him to help clear the table then suggested they wear scarves for their walk. He sensed that his Master was allowing him the chance to process everything first. Yeah. My Master. He swallowed hard. Fuck.
Terry had only recently begun to refer to Phil as ‘Master’ instead of just ‘Sir’—other than the initial role play during their CNC scene.
However, that situation hadn’t been about Phil being his genuine Master, it had been used for the character Phil was playing.
But now it’s different. They’d always been working toward a fulltime dynamic, Phil had made it clear that was what he hoped for and Terry had agreed to give it a try.
However, what had begun as mere curiosity had struck him as being rather hot the more they’d delved into the various aspects of D/s.
At some point, it had ceased being an experiment between them.
It had transformed into something Terry cherished.
He trusted Phil. He believed down to his bones that Phil only wanted the best for him, would always be there to make sure he was well cared for, appreciated and loved in return. D/s was a part of their relationship and trying to control when it happened and when it didn’t no longer made any sense.
Terry ran his free hand through his hair then shook it out. “Master? I’d like to discuss the whole feeding thing and… a few other things.”
Phil squeezed their joined hands. “Of course, baby. I’m curious to hear how you felt about it now that our scene has ended.”
Terry kept his gaze trained on the sidewalk.
“I wish it hadn’t. Ended, I mean. Something about the intimacy of allowing another man to feed me…
It was strange, but touching at the same time.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was surprised how vulnerable it made me feel and how safe I feel with you now.
So, I was thinking…” Dammit, get it together.
“I was thinking that from now on, we don’t do scenes.
That we’re just Master and sub 24/7.” He chanced a look at Phil, surprised at the glint in his eyes reflecting from one of the old-fashioned street lamps. “I’m ready.”
Phil stopped, grabbing Terry’s other hand and tugging on it so they faced each other. He remained silent as he regarded Terry, carefully considering him as the bitter cold turned their breaths into puffs of clouds in the night air.
“Baby.” The word had been spoken softly as Phil pulled him into an embrace, then took his mouth in a kiss.
Phil’s lips were cool, a little dry as he pressed them against Terry’s, but the exchange quickly heated as they poured their shared emotions into it, sealing the moment between them.
Phil broke the connection but stayed close as he stared into his eyes.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. I promise to honor the gift you’ve given me. ”
Terry’s heart jackhammered, his stomach doing flip-flops.
This is real. If Phil had spoken the same words even a few weeks before, he wouldn’t have grasped their deeper meaning the way he did now.
His submission wasn’t something Phil was taking.
Terry was offering it to him. In return, they would share a balanced, loving and fully committed relationship.
Totally worth it. He would have Phil’s constant attention—which was what he’d wished for from the beginning—and he could keep his lover, his Master, satisfied and happy.
They kissed again, their clinch becoming more intense with each swipe of Phil’s tongue through Terry’s mouth, each shared breath a treasure before Phil would plunge back in to give him another sweet taste of his Master. Phil chuckled, then pulled back.
“We might be giving the neighbors too much of a show.” He pecked Terry on the end of his chilly nose. “And not only am I anxious to get you alone, but I’m freezing my ass off out here.”
Terry let out a snort. “I concur with all of the above.”
Phil hooked his arm through Terry’s and they turned back toward their home. Terry kept his hands stuffed in his pockets, more to keep them still than to protect them from the cold.
“So…” Terry chewed on his bottom lip. “What happens now?”
When Phil didn’t answer right away Terry stole a peek and was surprised to see his Master sporting such a wide grin.
Phil glanced at him, his expression one of utter joy.
Considering how worried Phil had been over the incident with Master Joe and Anson, as well as the insecurities he’d expressed due to his current inability to provide for him financially, Phil’s happiness was a wondrous thing to see.
Phil shoved his hands into his own pockets. “How busy are you tomorrow? I can’t remember what your schedule looks like.”
To help keep them in step with each other’s career obligations, they maintained a shared planner inside the small, antique secretary in the living room.
“I have a morning session, then that’s it for the day.” He hadn’t been hired for any new films, and most series shows were on hiatus. He wouldn’t be needed until January for the pre-production shots for the new season of the angel and demon series he’d been working on from before.
“Can I book an afternoon with my sub then?” The corners of Phil’s mouth curled up in a smile.
“Afternoon and evening?” Terry would be the first to admit he was a greedy man where Phil was concerned.
Phil leaned in and took a quick nip of his ear. “And all night.”
Terry shivered, but this time it had nothing to do with the temperature.
Once they’d arrived back home and unwrapped themselves from all their winter gear, Phil tugged on Terry’s hand, practically dragging him toward the bedroom.
He’d barely crossed the threshold before he started kicking off his shoes, anxious to get naked as soon as possible. Phil laid a hand on his arm.
“Sit down, baby. I want to go over a couple things first.”
“Oh.” Terry glanced down at his half-undone pants, the front of his shirt already yanked out while the rest remained stuffed in his waistband.
“Sure. We’re not going to talk about stuff tomorrow then?
” He’d been looking forward to diving straight into some kinky fun and saving all the discussion for the next day.
Phil had his lips pressed together as if were trying to hold in a laugh, and he patted the spot next to him on the side of the bed.
Terry realized right away what he’d done.
Man, this is gonna take some getting used to.
He’d gotten into the habit of behaving one way with Phil when they were in a scene and another way when they weren’t.
Questioning Phil, his Master— unless he needed to safeword—wasn’t being submissive.
Terry sat down, but lowered his head, his cheeks heating. “Sorry, Master. I forgot about the whole thing of it being all scenes, all the time.” He regarded Phil. “Off to a great start, aren’t I?”
Phil placed an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. “I think you’re off to an incredible start. You spoke up for what you wanted, even though I’m guessing you still have so many questions and fears. I commend your bravery.”
“Yeah?” Terry arched his eyebrows. “That’s nice of you to say, I mean it.”
Phil let out a satisfied sigh, still beaming at him the way he’d been doing as soon as Terry had made his announcement. “So, let me answer you as well as remind you that it’s all a journey and this isn’t about you being ‘wrong’. It’s about us, about our life and the love we share.”
Terry nodded. “I know, I get it. That’s what finally resonated with me. But thanks for saying it out loud again.” Terry nudged Phil’s shoulder with his own. “I might need to hear it a thousand more times as we go along.”
Phil chuckled as he squeezed his waist, then pressed his lips to Terry’s temple. “Whatever you need so you feel safe and secure, baby. That’s what I’m here for. Now, regarding tonight, I’d actually already had something in mind before your startling—yet wonderful—decision.”
“Oh?” Terry arched his eyebrows. They’d been keeping to the same things on Terry’s limited ‘yes’ list ever since the episode with Anson and the goons who’d almost kidnapped him.
He loved how careful Phil was with him, but at the same time, now that he was ready to go all in, he ached to try something new. “Do I get a hint?”
Phil chuckled. “More than. It involves a few of your soft limits regarding pain play.”
“A few?” Terry unconsciously licked his lips. As soon as Phil’s eyebrows darted up, it occurred to him what he’d done. “Am I allowed to know which ones?”
Phil took one of his hands then sandwiched it between his own. “Trying any of your soft limits on you without discussion isn’t something I’d ever do. Of course you can know. And if anything is still a limit, no further explanation is needed, just safeword and everything stops, all right?”
“Okay, cool.” Terry shifted on the bed, his dick perking up at the thought of Phil getting rough with him again, maybe trying some of the things Terry had seen online or at Gerard’s place.
Phil kissed his palm before continuing. “I went through my trunk of goodies while you were in your studio, and I pulled a few items out. But I’d rather show you what I’d like us to try tonight rather than simply describing them to you.”
“Sure. Sounds good.”