Chapter 20 #2
He must have read the words clearly from my lips because he says, “You didn’t full-name me. Is that a yes?”
‘Yes.’
A grin lights his face as he squeezes my cock. My breath leaves me on a grunt, Remi giving my waistband a tug. “Off.”
I’m powerless but to obey his request, shoving my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs. The sound Remi makes has my eyes flashing to his. There’s admiration in his gaze, unequivocally. And want.
“Handsome,” he says, not giving me any time to flounder over the word before his hand is wrapping around my cock. His other slides over my leg as he closes the distance between us, his words ghosting along my neck. “Kind. Considerate. Strong.”
My breath puffs out of me, Remi’s hand on the side of my neck now, his lips pressing below my ear as his thumb glides down the underside of my cock.
“And mine. Aren’t you, Ben?”
My eyes slip shut, Remi’s mouth brushing along my cheek until his teeth are tugging my bottom lip the same way he did his own. I nod against him.
“Why?” Remi asks.
Ah, God.
Does he need me to answer? He pulls back enough to see me which tells me, yes, he does.
I feel splayed open as I lift my hands. ‘Because I want to be. And because you gave yourself to me, too.’
Remi’s smile for me is blinding. “Good boy. Tell me again.”
I shudder as his hand works my cock. It takes me a few seconds to find words. ‘You’re mine, too.’
“I am. And it’s only us in this room. So you’re going to fuck my mouth, and you’re not going to worry about anything else.
Not what you look like because no one is here to see it.
Not what you sound like because any sound you make is only for yourself.
And you’re certainly not going to worry about whether or not I’m enjoying it because I’m telling you right now I’ll enjoy every second.
Find pleasure in my throat, Ben. I can’t think of anything hotter. ”
My hands shake as Remi shifts off my lap, lying flat on his bed. ‘How… How will…’
“One tap means I’m good. Two means I need a breath. Okay?”
I nod, slipping off the bed as Remi drops his head over the edge of the mattress.
He gives me an upside-down grin before waving me forward.
I feel like a rope drawn by an anchor, gravity pulling me toward the man who’s occupied so many of my thoughts as of late.
There’s an edge of my mind trying to second-guess, trying to pick apart the reason I’m here, the reason Remi is, the reason it’ll inevitably fall apart.
But I’m so sick of that internal voice. Always there. Always analyzing and running through worst-case scenarios. Trying to prepare me for the bad, to expect it, because disappointment hurts less when you’re closer to the ground.
I’m tired of living that way. In fear. Remi isn’t here with me on a whim. This isn’t frivolous to him. He made sure I knew that, only a moment ago. That I acknowledged it aloud for the both of us.
He’s not leaving me guessing. Not playing games. He does want me. For whatever reason, he does. And I won’t insult the man by telling him he must be mistaken.
“Ben,” Remi soothes, his hair fanning out from his head, his eyes mere slivers as he holds his head up enough to see me. “I can hear your brain running. Get over here.”
I was wrong before. Remi isn’t an anchor.
He’s the goddamn sun. And like every good flower, I bow toward him without hesitation.
Remi’s hand closes around my cock, his tongue swiping the underside of my cockhead.
My thoughts scatter to the wind, my eyes running from Remi’s mouth to his throat, down his naked body.
One knee is bent, his cock half-hard again, every inch of him offered to me like the simplest thing.
Maybe it can be.
Remi pumps his hand slowly, his other giving my ass a gentle tug to step closer. “Ready for you, Ben.”
He holds his mouth open, waiting. Widening my stance just a bit, I let my cock slide into Remi’s mouth. Heat. A soft, searching tongue. Suction before Remi relaxes his throat and gives my hip a none-too-gentle tap.
I can’t look away as I sink inside Remi’s mouth. There’s resistance after a moment, but he adjusts the angle of his neck and slaps my hip again, and fuck. I slide inside his throat. Remi grabs my hand, planting it over his neck, and I can feel it. The way his throat is expanding to let me in.
Remi gives my hip another tap, anchoring there as his other hand slides toward his cock. I nearly combust on the spot.
He really does like this, doesn’t he? It’s not just about me.
The glide of Remi’s hand over his dick feels like a cue. I match his rhythm, fucking slowly and steadily into his throat. Each pass is like sinking into heaven, Remi’s lips stretched wide, his throat moving over my cock, beneath my hand. When he taps me twice, I pull out.
“Fuck, Ben. Again.”
He sounds hoarse, and it does my head in. But then he’s tugging on my ass, and I’m sliding inside him once more. Remi taps my hip as he speeds up his hand on his cock, a clear signal for me to do the same. I feel out of my body, as if I’m a viewer watching the most erotic sight of his life.
Maybe that’s why words start spilling from my lips as I follow Remi’s draw, pulling out every dozen or so thrusts so he can breathe.
“I don’t know where you came from. You were always here, but I don’t think I ever saw you. And that was probably for the best. Because you were too young. And I wasn’t in the right place for this. Not before.”
Remi’s hand shifts from my hip up to my chest. Can he feel the vibrations of my voice? He taps me again, as if telling me to go on.
My breath stutters, my fingers stroking over Remi’s neck.
“I know men would kill to be here in my place. To be the one down your throat. But fuck, Remi. It’s not just sex for me.
And you know that, right? Maybe there’s something wrong with me that I can’t just enjoy fucking for the sake of it.
But it’s never worked like that, not for me. ”
Remi taps me twice, my cockhead resting in his mouth as he pulls in a few breaths. A single tap for me to keep going, and his fingers rake down my chest.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You have to know that, too. You’re so open. So honest. And you make me feel normal, whatever that is. Or, like, normal doesn’t matter so much. Like I’m okay just as I am. And I believe it when I’m with you. How do you do that?”
Remi’s hips jerk, his moan reverberating around me as his throat hugs me tight. Here he is, about to come from a throat-fucking, and I feel like my heart might just burst. Maybe Remi knows, somehow, because his fingers tense over my chest, over my heart.
But he’s not the only one who’s close. I am, too. I have been since the start, yet I’ve been holding myself back, not wanting this to end.
Remi catches a breath as I pull from his mouth, his words for me rough but unmistakable. “Can you feel yourself inside me, Ben? Will you leave yourself there?”
Groaning, I gently nod my fist against his neck.
“Good boy.”
Remi’s tongue snakes out to lick my cockhead, and I almost come right then and there.
He guides me back into his mouth, and there’s no stopping this time.
With my thumb running over the column of his throat, I let myself get lost in him.
I fuck his throat with purpose, tingles racing over my skin, heat blanketing me.
Remi responds with a moan, his hand flying over his cock, his other digging against my hip.
When he comes, he tugs me after him. My breath leaves my lungs, my muscles lock tight, and for several heartbeats, all I can feel is the way I’m leaving pieces of myself inside Remi as he asked.
I pull back before he can tap me twice, my hand still on his throat as he catches his breath, remnants of my cum painting Remi’s lips from where my cock slid against them. I drop to my knees, Remi’s tear-soaked eyes flitting open when I take his head in my hands.
I don’t care for the taste of my own cum, not like I enjoy his for what it signifies. But it doesn’t stop me from licking every drop off Remi’s lips to find a taste of him.
Remi’s hand slides into my hair, his head cradled in my palms as our mouths dance the slowest song. There’s a smile in Remi’s kiss, as there so often is.
“You see now?” he asks, voice a husky whisper.
I nod.
He is mine. He’s made it clear.
He’s exactly where he wants to be.
For once, the voice in my head doesn’t have a single retort. The silence is more profound than words.