Skyler
I can still remember the first moment I knew I wanted Erin as my Big Sister.
I met her during rush week and I knew she was smart, I knew she was driven, and I knew she wanted to do big things in the sorority.
But that wasn’t what won me over. It was two weeks after I rushed that I realized she would be the perfect Big for me.
We snuck a bottle of whiskey into her room in the sorority house and played truth or dare, just the two of us.
By the time we finished half the bottle, we were drunk, crying, and had each been tasked with at least a dozen dares that made for a lot of great stories that semester.
Seeing her let loose that night and opening up to her about my past was what sold me on wanting her as my mentor.
She didn’t pity me for the poor circumstances I came from or my loser high school days.
Instead, she promised she’d help me reinvent myself at Palm South.
She was the first one who told me I could convince anyone I wanted that I was the shit. And I believed her.
So far, it’s paid off.
And now, I want to be that same choice for Cassie.
She reminds me a little of myself when I was a freshman last year, except I’m pretty sure she was just as popular in high school as I know she’ll be here.
Me, on the other hand? I didn’t have a single real friend in high school.
My family was dirt poor. We played poker to pass our time.
Little did I know then how much that would play into my future.
“So are you hanging out with her again tonight?” Ashlei asks. She ties her hair up into a high ponytail and starts packing up the rest of her stuff spread out on the bed. She’s been listening to me worry over Cassie choosing me as her Big for the past hour.
“She’s supposed to text me after her last class. I know Jamie already asked her to go to some fancy steak place for dinner tonight too, though, so I guess we’ll see.”
“You think she’ll bail to hang out with you instead?”
“I don’t know. She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to bail on anyone, but I guess I’m hoping she does.”
Ashlei smiles. “You’re so cute. She’s going to pick you as her Big, Sky. I see the way she looks at you. She admires you already.”
“I hope you’re right, Lei. It’s just…” I trail off. “Erin and I were always hanging out last year, but I can already tell she’s going to be busier this semester. And then she wants to run for a position for next year. And then she wants president. When is she going to have time for us?”
“You know she’ll make time,” Ashlei says pointedly.
“I guess, but I still want an awesome Little to add to our family. Someone I can depend on, someone I want to hang out with. I haven’t really connected with any of the other new members like I have with her.”
“It’ll work itself out,” Ashlei says again, reassuring me. Suddenly, her door flies open and Jess and Erin waltz in.
“Dudes. We’re drinking tonight,” Jess says, pointing at each of us. “Put on your party panties and let’s go.”
“I can’t,” Ashlei says, zipping up her bag and throwing it over her shoulder.
Standing next to Jess, their similar features are on prominent display.
Long blonde hair, tan skin, lean figures with curves in all the right places.
Ashlei is just a bit more toned than Jess, but their body types are almost identical.
Where Ashlei has playful chocolate eyes, Jess has more of a hazel hue, but in low lighting they’re pretty much the same.
They’re like twins. Except they’re polar opposites.
“Where are you going now?” Jess asks, her hands outstretched toward the bag Ashlei just slung on. “Are you in some sort of gang we don’t know about? A roller derby squad? A porn star league?”
“I’m meeting a friend at the gym and then we’re supposed to work on a project together.”
“A project? Already? It’s the second week of school, Lei.” Then her eyes grow wide. “Wait a second. Who’s this friend? Oh my God, are you keeping a guy from us?!”
Ashlei blushes and looks a bit uncomfortable, but just shrugs in response. “We’re juniors now, Jess. It’s not all fluff in our classes anymore. I’m going to the gym and then working on this project. That’s it, nothing more to tell.”
Jess still seems skeptical, but she sighs in defeat. “True story. I already have a paper due for Scope and Methods next Wednesday.”
“See?” Ashlei kisses Jess’ cheek. “I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.” With that, she’s gone and Jess turns to us.
“So, you two in?”
Erin declines and starts telling Jess about some sorority council sleepover she’s going to so she can rub elbows with other sorority officers on campus just as my phone pings with a text. It’s Cassie. She’s going to dinner with Jamie. I sigh.
“Okay, you’ve got to come drink with me, Sky. You’re the most fun anyway.”
“Hey!” Erin says, smacking Jess playfully.
“What? You know it’s true!” She grins, turning back to me. “What do you say?”
“Yeah, I’m in,” I reply, sighing again.
“Speaking of fun,” Erin says. “Omega Chi Beta is having their first social on September twenty-second. And,” she pauses for effect. “It’s an ABC theme! We’re going, right?!”
ABC. Anything But Clothes. It’s one of the most cherished social themes because the outfits are, well, endless. Anything but clothes, goes.
“Oh hell to the yes,” Jess says without hesitating.
“Ugh,” I groan. “I can’t.”
“What are you talking about? Why?”
“I have a poker tournament that night.”
Erin and Jess exchange awkward glances. “Oh,” Jess says. “Well, can’t you just do a different one or something?”
“It doesn’t work like that. I already paid the entry fee and it’s the best payout they’re having at the casino downtown for a while.”
Erin’s eyes soften and I know she knows. She’s the only one who understands my parents’ financial situation. “Are you sure you can’t make it? Not even after the tournament?”
I shake my head. “It’ll go all night.”
“I don’t understand why you play anyway,” Jess says. Her words sting a little, but I try not to let them affect me. “It’s a total boys’ game.” I don’t respond and she sighs. “Sorry, but seriously, it is. Anyway, let’s go drink.”
“Actually, I think I’m going to pass,” I say, standing from where I’d been sitting on Ashlei’s bed. “I’ll see you guys at breakfast.”
Jess throws her hands in the air. “Are you serious? What does a girl have to do to find a drinking partner around here?”
Erin laughs and I give an apologetic smile as I slip through Ashlei’s door and out into the hall. Pulling out my phone, I text Clinton.
- I’m coming over. Need to talk. –
He’s been short with me since the party during rush week and I can’t figure out why, but two seconds later he texts me back.
- I’m here. See you soon. –
I smile. Clinton and I met during Spring Break last year and he’s the only one at PSU who got excited when he realized I play poker. I just wish he could transfer that excitement to my sisters.
When I get to the O Chi house and make my way back to his room, the music is already thumping through the house and brothers are lining up shots in the kitchen. Most of them look like they just woke up to start their days and it’s already seven. Gotta love college.
“Your brothers are reckless,” I say when I reach his room. He smiles, not even trying to argue. The Omega Chi boys are known for their partying. It’s one of their best selling points during rush.
Clinton pats the spot on his bed next to him. “I taught them well. Come here.” I sit down and he pulls me into his large chest. “Bear hugs fix everything.”
I giggle before pulling back. “I can’t argue that.”
“What’s going on?” he asks. He almost seems back to normal, but his eyes keep drifting to his phone on the bedside table and I know there’s something going on that he isn’t telling me. But, it’s not my business to pry. I know Clinton. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.
“It’s my sisters,” I confess, sighing. “I can’t go to our first social because I have a poker tournament, and they just don’t understand. Erin still thinks I can just bail on them and Jess looks at me like a nasty bug on the ground every time I bring it up.”
“What about Ashlei?”
“She hasn’t been around much, but she’s sort of in the same boat as Erin. I know they don’t mean to hurt my feelings but… it just sucks. I want them to get that it’s more than just a stupid hobby to me.”
He leans back against his headboard, thinking.
Clinton’s room is one of the best in the house, design wise.
He’s got a thing for interior design, and I’ve never known another guy to keep his room as clean as Clinton does.
It’s themed in beiges, dark greens and mints with décor strategically placed to make the room appear bigger than it really is.
His bedspread is a dark forest color that pulls out the slight hint of green in his hazel eyes.
“You’re right – I know for a fact they’re not trying to hurt your feelings.
But, Skyler, you have to understand their perspective, too.
These are girls who were born into money – good money.
They don’t know what it’s like to work for it yet.
And poker? Please. Other than the blackjack we play at fundraisers, these girls are clueless when it comes to the game. ”
“So why don’t they ask me more about it then? It’s not like I couldn’t teach them.”
“Probably for the same reasons you don’t ask them to show you how to do your makeup or how to shop for the dresses that will make you look skinnier or whatever.
It’s not their thing, Sky. And, to be honest, that’s what makes you so special – because it’s not something you share with many other people. ”
I smile at that and chew on his words, digesting his point of view. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Thinking back to high school, my smile fades. “But… what if I don’t want to stand out? What if I’d rather… blend.”
“I think the key is finding a balance. You can fit in without becoming someone you’re not.”
“Such wise words, Bear,” I joke, cocking a brow. Feeling more at ease about my situation, I turn the conversation to him. “So, you going to tell me what that phone call was about at the party last week?”
His jaw tenses. “It was nothing.”
“Bear…”
“Don’t,” he says, jumping to his feet. He runs his hands through his short hair and inhales a deep breath before expelling it from his chest. “Sorry, I’m just not in the mood to talk about it. I’m fine, though.”
I study his features, and without even a minute passing I know he’s lying. Clinton’s poker face is weak, at best. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, whether he wants to or not. But, again, I know he’ll tell me when he’s ready.
“Okay. I need a drink. Let’s go take shots with your brothers.”
He laughs, but his eyes still wear a coat of worry. “Yeah, enough of this girly talking shit. I need tequila.”
With that, we make our way into the kitchen and join in on the drinking games. Slowly, all the stress I had when I walked through the door starts to fade. After my third shot, Matt, the Omega Chi Beta president, slides up behind me and starts nibbling on my earlobe.
“Come to my room,” he whispers and tiny goose bumps flow from where his lips graze my skin all the way down to my toes. I follow him back and throw Clinton a devious smile on the way. He just shakes his head and chuckles.
“You look like you could use a distraction,” Matt says when we reach his room, closing the door behind us.
“You have no idea.” I slam my mouth on his and before long, poker is the last thing on my mind.