Bear
I wake up to a loud banging on the front door Sunday morning.
I know it’s loud because I never hear a knock from my bedroom but this one sounds like it’s thumping on my head.
Groaning, I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and make my way down the hall.
Whoever it is continues to bang until I quickly pull the door open.
“About fucking time,” the guy on the other end of the knock says, pushing past me into the living room. I bow up to him and he rolls his eyes. “I’m Alec. I was president of Omega Chi Beta six years ago and I’m here to save your ass.”
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Did I stutter?” he asks. Dick. “My name is Alec Carriker. Are you Matthew Dishman?”
I shake my head. “He’s down the hall. What are you doing here?”
“I’d rather talk to Matt about that.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Well he’s asleep and insanely hungover and I’m probably the only brother you’re going to get a sober conversation out of right now.
So if you don’t want to wait around for several hours to get whatever has your panties in a wad off your chest, you can start talking now. ”
Alec steps up to me, his chest puffing out as his eyes level with mine.
He’s just as tall as I am, which I’m not really used to, but his frame is lean where mine is stout.
“I don’t know where you get off talking to an alumni that way, boy, but I’m about five seconds away from reminding you why you shouldn’t. ”
“Boy?” My nose flares and I beg myself to calm down, but I’m not sure it’s going to work.
He rolls his eyes. “Oh please, don’t start with the race card. I didn’t mean boy like that, I meant it as in you are a boy. You are young, you’re naive, and you have no respect for your older brothers.”
“I don’t give my respect. You have to earn it. And you’re doing a piss poor job right now.”
Alec appraises me for a moment before exhaling a long breath.
“Look, I didn’t come here to fight. But, I’m pissed off and so are a lot of other alum.
We got a call from nationals and they’re assigning me and two other brothers to mentor the chapter for the rest of the year due to the copious amount of shit you’ve been getting yourself into. ”
I gulp, but don’t respond. I know exactly what he’s talking about. After last semester, the crazy parties over summer, and the now four times we’ve had the cops called on us this semester – it doesn’t surprise me nationals has stepped in. But it worries me.
“So what does this mean?”
“It means you’re in a pretty precarious situation and if you don’t listen to me and get your shit together, you’re going to get suspended. Or worse.” He gives me a pointed look and my jaw tightens.
“I’ll go wake Matt.”
“Don’t bother.” He sighs, looking around the house. It’s disgusting. Empty cups and beer bottles litter the tables and the floor and it smells like ass. He turns his nose up. “Just let him sleep, I’ll come back later.” He pauses. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“You didn’t bother to ask. I guess boy will suffice for now.”
He smirks. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m really tied to this fraternity. I don’t want to see it go down in flames. What’s your name?”
I frown, but extend my hand anyway. “Clinton Pennington. Everyone calls me Bear.”
“Bear,” he tries my name and I know he’s wondering why anyone would call me that.
Or maybe he’s figured part of it out by now.
“Well, Bear, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I’ll be back later with the other brothers.
” His eyes flit around the room again. “Might consider cleaning up a bit before then. Believe it or not, I’m the most forgiving of the lot. ”
After Alec leaves, I shut the door and curse under my breath. I type out a quick text to Josh and just as I hit send, my phone starts ringing.
Mom.
Fuck. I am not in the mood for this. Hell, I’m still half asleep. But I answer anyway.
“Hey Mom.”
“Clinton, baby?” she asks, sniffling.
“Mom?” My heart races in my throat. She’s crying. “What’s going on? Is Clayton okay?” She cries harder and I sink down onto the couch, my breath caught in my chest. “Mom?”
“He’s fine, honey. I,” she chokes out over a sob.
“I need you to send me a little money, baby. I was stupid. I did some stupid shit and now I don’t have money for Clayton’s school fieldtrip and he doesn’t have any lunch money and I barely have an ounce of food in the house.
I know I was stupid, Clinton. Please don’t penalize me.
Please, baby, just help me out. Just this once. ”
As if the anger I had after Alec’s morning visit wasn’t enough, I feel it double in an instant. Heat rushes to my cheeks and I have to grip the arm of the couch to keep from punching something. “How much?”
“Just a little, baby.”
“How. Much?”
She pauses, her voice growing smaller. “A hundred, maybe two.”
I don’t argue. I don’t fight her. I don’t have the energy to do either.
“I’ll text you with the confirmation.” With that, I end the call, grab my keys, and head for the store.
I’m gripping the wheel and driving too fast the entire way, but I can’t calm myself down.
I try texting Carleton, but he doesn’t answer.
Still. Letting out a frustrated growl, I throw my phone against the passenger side window and it bounces back into the seat.
I send her two hundred. I can’t afford it, but I do it anyway. The thought of Clayton suffering at all makes me hate myself for leaving him behind. He should be here with me. Being only twelve, he’s got a long time to go before he can leave on his own. Too long.
When I get back to the house, I change clothes and take off walking across campus toward the gym. I call Clayton when I’m halfway there and he answers on the second ring.
“Big bro!” he exclaims, his grin carrying through his voice. “What’s up? How’s Florida life?”
“Hot,” I say with a chuckle, the sweat already beading on my forehead. “How’s Pennsylvania life?”
“Boring. But you already know how that goes.”
I smile. “How’s school? You feel any different being a seventh grader?”
“Well, the schoolwork still sucks. But the girls are filling out, if you know what I mean.” He laughs through the receiver and I can’t help but join him. That’s my brother.
“Attaboy.” My smile fades as I think about him not having food to eat. “Is everything okay at home, Clayton?”
There’s a pause on the other end, but he answers after a beat. “Yeah. I mean, you know how she is. How everyone here is.”
“Yeah. I know.” Silence. “You know I love you, right? I’m always here for you. No matter what time of day.”
“I know. I’m okay, bro.”
“I know you are. You’re tough.”
“I learn from the best! But I have to go. I’m at Mac’s and we’re about to jump on Xbox. Call you later?”
“Sure thing, little bro. Kick his ass.”
“Always!”
We end the call just in time for me to open the gym door.
I feel broken. All I want is for Clayton to get the hell out of there and then we can both be done with our shitty family.
But really, I know that’s not true, either.
Because there’s still the boys. And even when Carleton and Mom pull their stupid stunts, they’re still family. And blood runs thick.
I’m just not sure how much more I can give anymore.
***
By the time I limp my way back to the fraternity house, the sun is already setting. I didn’t intend to stay at the gym all day but I wanted to numb myself. It worked, but I’m paying for it now and it’ll be even worse tomorrow.
When I push my way through the front door, I’m met with thumping music and a packed house.
What the fuck.
“Josh!” I growl, catching sight of him first. I grab him by his shirt and yank him back toward the hallway where there are less people. “What the hell are you doing? Did you not get my voicemail earlier about the alumni?”
“Oh fuck them,” he spits out. “They came by earlier, ripped us a new asshole, and then left. They said they’re moving our chapter meeting to tomorrow night, so we’re getting in one last rage fest before the party police move in.”
I sigh, but just like with Mom, I don’t have the energy to argue. “Whatever.” Releasing his shirt, I limp back to my room and jump in the shower, letting the hot water and steam melt away some of the tension from today. Then, against my better judgement, I join the party.
And I make it my mission to get hammered.
Before midnight even hits, I’m pinballing down the hallway with Lacy’s mouth on mine.
Lacy is a Zeta. She’s small, almost doll-size, and her caramel skin against the bright white dress she’s wearing are too much for me to handle.
You would think with her wearing white to a frat party that she was trying to be innocent tonight.
But with one hand under my basketball shorts, I know that’s far from the truth.
“Fuck,” she curses as I slam her back against my bedroom door. “Easy, Bear.”
I suck and bite down her neck and toss her onto my bed with ease, pulling my shirt up and over my head at the same time. “I’m not doing easy tonight, babe. You either get me hard and rough or you don’t get me at all. Your choice.”
She swallows, but her lips part slightly and I can feel the want radiating off of her.
When she doesn’t answer, I fall down on top of her and slam my mouth on hers, hiking her leg up in the process.
I know she’s only a temporary numbing, just like the gym was earlier, but she’s what I need.
Sweat, alcohol, and sex. That’s the distraction I’m looking for, and Palm South is the perfect place to find it.
I don’t even bother taking off her dress or even the lacy thong I feel underneath it.
I just quickly maneuver it to the side, roll on the condom I pulled from my top drawer, and thrust inside her in one fluid motion.
She moans loud in my ear and it sends chills down my back. Thank God Josh likes the music loud.
“Oh God,” Lacy screams, gripping my headboard as I slam into her over and over again. Her breasts are nearly tumbling out of her dress and her head hits against the board a little each time I thrust in.
“Nope, just me, babe.”
I make sure she gets her release and as soon as she finishes, I lift both of her ankles up onto my shoulders and push deeper inside her pussy.
She screams even louder and it doesn’t take long for me to find my release, too.
It completely numbs me and awakens every nerve at the same time.
Finally, even if just for that moment, I don’t think about anything else but the way it feels to come inside her.
When we finish, I make my way to the bathroom to flush the condom and then I fall back into bed, turning on my fan on my way over.
I pull a pillow over my head to drown out the music and let my temporary euphoria drag me toward sleep.
I don’t know if Lacy stays and I honestly don’t care.
She can stay and sleep or she can leave.
Right now, I’m not talking. Or cuddling.
Or doing anything other than reveling in the fact that coming feels fucking amazing.
Before my thoughts have the time to sneak their way back in, I pass out.