Ashlei
Sitting at the sorority house is driving me insane.
I don’t feel prepared for the competition tomorrow, but there’s nothing more I can do.
I practiced all day and if I do any more, I’m going to be too sore and worn out to compete.
This is the time when I’m supposed to rest and prep my body, but all I feel is anxiety.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been competitive.
And not just a little bit, but to a fault.
I blame my need to win for all my failures in dance throughout the years.
I would constantly push myself too hard and then punish myself if I didn’t win.
I even went through a cutting phase, which I knew was wrong and hurtful and stupid but I did it anyway.
Now, I’m older. I’m more mature and I’ve learned from my past.
But I still feel that same need to win overpowering every other sense right now.
“What I would give to get inside that pretty head of yours,” a sweet voice says in the darkness. I jump, but relax when Bo’s smiling face comes into focus. She joins me on the small white porch swing set up in the back courtyard of our house and I return her smile.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know everything going on in my head right now.”
“Actually, I do. And I’m not the only one.” Her brows pull together. “Everyone is talking about you, you know. The way you’re always dodging events, the weird makeup, the late nights.” She shrugs. “Some of us are worried.”
The way she says that last part does something to my stomach that I know isn’t good.
Bo is stunning, and more than that – she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known.
It’s not just her culture, which is night and day different from the one I grew up in, but the way she carries herself, the easy, open-hearted way she sees the world.
“You guys don’t need to worry about me.”
“Well,” she says, chewing her cheek. “Maybe if you tell me what you’re up to, I can help ease the tension in the group.”
Her dark brown eyes are almost black in the low lighting of the courtyard. With her hair pulled over one shoulder and her kind smile, she radiates beauty in the simplest way imaginable.
“I can’t tell you, Bo. I can’t tell anyone.”
Bo frowns. “Are you in trouble?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “Promise.”
“Tell me anything,” she tries again. “Whatever you feel like you can tell me.”
I sigh, struggling with my inner voice telling me I need to keep my mouth shut and my inner anxiety fighting to tell someone – anyone – about the competition.
“Let’s just say… I have a unique hobby. I love it, I’m good at it, and tomorrow I’m going to be…” My voice trails off as I struggle for the right words. “Tested on it.”
Bo looks confused, but she doesn’t press for more.
“Well, whatever it is, I can tell you’re stressed about it.
” I nod, but then she places her soft hand over mine on the edge of the swing.
My breath catches and her eyes flick to mine.
Swallowing, she pulls her hand back. “But you shouldn’t be, Lei.
You’re amazing. At everything you do. And whatever this thing is that you can’t tell us about, I can tell it’s important to you.
I know you’re going to pass whatever test it is that you have tomorrow because that’s the kind of person you are. You’re a winner.”
For a moment, I don’t respond. The air around us feels different from when she first joined me on the swing and I can’t figure out how to comprehend the change. “Thank you,” I finally manage just above a whisper.
Bo nods, then she lifts herself from the swing. “I’m going to make some tea. You want some?”
“Yeah, actually that sounds great.”
“Come on.” She notions inside and I follow, possibly watching her a little more closely than I should. Before this semester, Bo Hán was just my best friend’s Little.
But now, I have a troubling feeling that I might want her to be more.
***
“Oh my fucking fuck!” Leslie screams when we all pile back into our private dressing room. The entire troupe is jumping up and down, trophies and medals in hand. The energy is uncontrollable.
“I seriously can’t believe this,” I chime in, shaking my head. “We won. First place. In four categories!”
“Well believe it,” Hayden says, picking me up and twirling me in his arms. “And I think we can all agree that we have you to thank.” He plants a long kiss on my lips.
“It was all of us. We’re a team.”
“True,” Kya says, unfastening her bra. I used to be shocked by how comfortable she was stripping in front of anyone and everyone, but I’m used to it now.
“But we’ve all competed before and we’ve never done this well.
You kicked ass today, Ashlei.” She winks and strips off her spandex, quickly replacing it with a pair of fitted sweats.
“To Ashlei,” Leslie says, pulling a flask from her Kitty Heels gym bag.
We all chuckle as she takes a swig and begins to pass it around.
Various members of the troupe clap me on the back in congratulations after they take their swigs.
Then, everyone starts getting dressed, energy still buzzing around us.
“Hey,” Hayden says, grabbing my hand. “Come with me. I have a better way to celebrate.” He winks and a roaring fire instantly lights in my stomach.
Pulling me through the dressing room to a back bathroom, he locks the door behind us and props me up on the counter, pressing himself between my thighs in one quick motion.
Slowly, he kisses down my neck, his strong hands gripping my hips as he does.
He’s still in the tight, barely-there shorts from our final routine and nothing else.
I drag my fingernails down over his chest and abs before tucking them beneath the thin fabric.
Even though I just barely graze him, I can feel how hard he is and I bite my lip in anticipation.
“Wait,” he breathes, pecking my lips once more before backing up slightly. When he pulls a small plastic bag filled with white powder out of one of the bathroom cabinets, I immediately shake my head.
“No, Hayden. No way. You know I’m not into that stuff.”
“Come on,” he says sexily, his voice low and his eyes bright.
“We just won in four categories. We qualified for semi-finals in January. Celebrate with me. Just one line. I promise, I’ll take care of you.
I won’t let anything happen. It’s just going to make you feel even more alive than you already do. ”
I bite my lip, feeling my heartrate accelerating. I know I shouldn’t, but the way Hayden is looking at me makes me want to. I’m already on a high, I do want to celebrate, and I do trust Hayden. I know he won’t let anything bad happen to me.
But I know cocaine is no joke.
But it could be fun, right?
But I shouldn’t do it…
Sensing my inner battle, Hayden moves toward me and slowly shakes some of the white powder onto my cleavage.
Using a small blue plastic card, he situates it into a clean line and then looks up at me with heated eyes.
He shoots the line, then takes my mouth with his in a frenzy, igniting the desire in my body again.
When he pulls back, he gently empties out a small amount of powder onto his strong trapezius muscle and situates it in a clean line.
Then, he hands me the small metal pipe. “Just a little bit, Ashlei. Come up with me,” he pleads.
I just sit there with the pipe in my hand, staring at the line and telling myself I should hand the pipe back to him. But something inside me is curious.
Hayden bites his lower lip, letting his teeth drag across the flesh before trailing his hand down my abdomen to land between my thighs. When his fingers snake their way through the fabric and plunge inside of me, I let out a sharp cry of pleasure and let myself fall back against the mirror.
“Come up with me, Ashlei,” he says again, working his magical fingers inside me.
The ecstasy is already too much, I can’t imagine it any more heightened.
But with Hayden’s hooded eyes devouring me right along with his hands, I can’t find the energy to argue anymore.
Leaning up, I take a deep breath, plug one nostril, and shoot the line off his bare flesh.
It stings like hell and my eyes water as I wipe my nose, but Hayden is looking at me like I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.
He steals the pipe from my hand and tosses it on the counter before pulling my mouth to his.
While his other hand still works beneath my outfit, the other grips the back of my neck, pulsing a need straight through me.
Suddenly, Hayden pulls my spandex off and rips his to the floor, leaving us both exposed. He teases me at my entrance with his head, nipping playfully at my bottom lip. “You’re so fucking sexy, Ashlei. This is going to feel amazing. Trust me.”
With that, he plunges into me and I let out a loud moan.
At first, I don’t feel any different, but after a few minutes, everything changes.
I feel incredibly alert, my senses extra-sensitive, and the pleasure I normally feel when Hayden touches me is amplified to a level I’ve never experienced before.
Each time he thrusts into me, every time his thumb brushes my nipple, each flick of his tongue on my skin sends me spiraling toward a dangerous cliff of ecstasy.
“This feels amazing,” I moan into Hayden’s lips. “Everything feels so amazing.”
“Like this?” he asks, palming each of my breasts.
I nod and grind my pelvis against his as he works in and out.
“And this?” he asks again, this time letting his fingertips fall to circle my clit.
My moans grow louder and it’s my only response before I tumble over the edge and experience an orgasm I never knew existed.
It takes over my entire body, my entire soul, my entire being.
And when I finish, I’m spent. Completely, totally spent. Crashing, fading, falling.
Hayden comes moments later and then he pulls me into one of the showers with him, planting small kisses down the back of my neck as he runs his hands through my wet hair.
Even as the high fades, every touch sparks my sensitive skin and I feel alive.
But slowly, the guilt starts to creep in along with the realization of what just happened.
Before today, alcohol and the occasional joint were the only drugs I’d ever messed with.
Now, I’ve jumped over the fence into hard drug territory.
It was electrifying, it was terrifying, but what scares me most is…
It was fun.