Ashlei
I’m going to be sick.
I’m literally going to vomit.
Holding the phone tight to my ear, the only thing keeping me from passing out is focusing hard on the breaths I’m taking. In and out. Inhale and exhale. Half of my brain is screaming that this can’t be happening while the other half is scolding me for getting myself in this situation.
I fucked up.
Royally.
“Are you there?”
I swallow, but it feels like dry wood scraping my throat rather than saliva. “I’m here.” I manage, raking my hands through my greasy hair. I need to shower. Ten minutes ago I was about to start getting ready for my semi-formal. Now, the thought of that seems so trivial.
“Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Kya,” I squeak her name, trying to reason. “You can’t ask me for that kind of money. This isn’t my fault and you know it. Hayden is the reason you lost that stash, not me. I had nothing to do with it.”
“According to him, you did have something to do with it.”
I groan, realizing that in a way, I did.
“Listen, yeah, I fucked up and let him talk me into going up with him a few times but I swear I didn’t know it was yours.
I didn’t know anything. I don’t even know why I did it at all!
” I scream. I’m panicking, I can’t help it.
“I told him to go fuck himself, Kya. I’m done with him and with that shit.
You know me. You know this has never been my thing. ”
She sighs, and I can picture her pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration like she does when she’s watching competition.
“I love you, Ashlei. You’re the best girl on our team right now – better than me, even.
I’m not too proud to admit that. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but now it’s my ass on the line.
You need to get me that money. I’m sorry. ”
“I don’t have it, Kya!”
“Well, you’ve got rich ass parents and a sorority full of daddy’s girls. I’m sure you can figure it out. I have to go.”
“But what if I can’t figure it out?”
The silence between us steals the breath from my chest as I wait for her to answer.
“You don’t want the answer to that, Ashlei.”
“Kya, wait. Seriously. We have to talk about this.”
The line goes dead and I curse, throwing my cell across the yard.
Tears sting the back of my eyes but I fight against them.
In a way, I feel more numb than anything – like I’m living in a dream or someone else’s life.
This is me, Ashlei Daniels. I don’t do drugs.
I definitely don’t do stolen drugs. I don’t owe money to a drug dealer who owes her distributer. This isn’t my life. It can’t be.
“Gah,” I hear a soft voice exclaim behind me. Bo plops down on the bench swing beside me and tucks her legs up, hugging them with her arms. “It’s so cold!”
It’s the first cold front of the season, if you can even call winter in Florida an actual season, and even with the sun still high in the sky it’s just barely over fifty degrees. I was a little chilly when I answered the phone and stepped outside, but now my skin feels boiling hot.
I try to smile at Bo, but fail miserably and end up choking on a sob I should have seen coming. Bo’s face immediately drops along with her legs and she quickly wraps me in a hug, her long dark hair falling all around me. “Oh my God, Lei. What happened?”
For a moment all I can do is cry, but I don’t really even shed a tear. I’m sobbing, my face is twisted in pain, but no wetness pools in my eyes. I think I’m still in denial.
“I’m in trouble, Bo.” I sniffle, pulling back from her grasp to align my eyes with hers. “Please, don’t tell anyone. Not a soul. Not Jess, not anyone.”
Bo shakes her head feverishly, her dark eyes wide. “I won’t, I promise. What’s going on?”
I chew my cheek, debating if I should even tell Bo. Up until now, these two sectors of my life have been kept completely separate. There’s Palm South sorority girl Ashlei and there’s pole dancing vixen Ashlei. Those two don’t belong in the same world. They don’t mix. They damn sure don’t match.
“What would you say if I told you there’s something about me that no one knows, not even my family?”
Bo smirks. “Honestly? I think we all know there’s something you keep from us. It’s just that no one pushes you on it.”
I swallow. Am I really that obvious? I always felt like I did a decent job covering my tracks. “Okay, well, what if I told you that something that I’ve been hiding got me mixed up in something I always swore I would never do and now it’s blown up in my face?”
“Lei,” Bo stops me, reaching out to grab both of my hands in hers.
Her long fingers are delicate, her hands soft and small, but she grips onto me firmly like she’ll never let go.
“Stop skirting around the issue and just tell me what happened. I’m not going to judge you.
I love you.” Her eyes grow wide at that and she quickly follows it with, “You’re my sister. ”
“Okay,” I say, expelling a long breath and letting my eyes fall to where our fingers are interlaced.
“I’m just going to say this all really quickly and I’m not going to stop to look at you because if I do, I’ll cry or scream or break down or something.
” I pause, waiting, and Bo just gives me a gentle squeeze.
So I take one last breath and then put all my shit on the table.
“I started doing pole dance fitness over the summer and I’m really good at it and I’ve been sneaking off to practice and we won first in almost every category at a competition last month and now we’re in the semi-finals in January and everything seems fine, right?
Except that after I won I let this guy, Hayden, who I’m kind of sleeping with but not anymore talk me into doing cocaine which he does all the time and I swore I would never do but I did and I liked it and then I did it two more times with him but he pushed me out of a moving car because he was high and all of our friends thought it was hilarious because they were high, too, so I’m done with all of them but now Kya is saying that cocaine was actually her stash that she was supposed to be selling and Hayden stole it and now she owes her supplier money and I have to pay for half of the missing stash even though I only did it three times and I’m freaking out because I don’t have that kind of money and I hate Hayden for making me do this but it’s my own damn fault and fuck!
” I can’t say anything else after that last part, because in reality I know it is my fault that I’m in this situation.
I screwed myself. I gave into peer pressure like a fucking thirteen-year-old.
I wait for Bo to gasp or pull back or shake her head, especially after I just expelled all that shit in one long exhausted breath.
I wait for any kind of reaction. After a moment, she only squeezes my hands tighter and ducks her head a little low, urging me to look at her.
When I do lift my eyes to hers, all I see is compassion and understanding.
“How much do you owe her?”
“A lot.” I sigh. “Ten-thousand, to be exact.”
Bo whistles under her breath. “I’m assuming parents are out of the question?
” I nod. She pulls her hands from mine and runs them through her hair, thinking.
“Well, I have to say I was not expecting to hear any of that from you.” I cross my arms over my chest defensively, wishing I could crawl into a hole.
“But you know what? You’ll figure this out.
We can do a fundraiser or sell some of your designer clothes and bags.
You probably have ten grand in shoes alone. ”
I chuckle at that. “That’s pretty accurate, I think.”
“See!” Bo smiles, placing her hand gently on my knee.
I shiver, but something tells me it’s not from the cool breeze.
“I know it feels like a lot right now, and to be honest – it is. It’s not something you can ignore or take lightly.
But at the same time, there’s nothing you can do about it right at this moment.
You’ll need some time to get your thoughts figured out and your plan together. ”
“I just don’t even know where to start.”
“Start by going to formal with me,” she whispers.
She gazes up at me through her dark lashes and blushes slightly.
My stomach knots instantly. “I’m going stag and I know you are, too, so let’s just go together.
Take the night off and don’t think about all this shit.
What’s this Kya girl going to do anyway? ”
“She told me I didn’t want the answer to that question.”
Bo scoffs. “I’m sure she’s just trying to save her own ass, Lei.
” Another cool gust of wind brushes both of our hair back and off our shoulders and Bo curses.
“Damn, it’s getting colder.” Her soft dark eyes find mine and she rubs her arms through her long sleeve shirt.
“Come inside with me. Let’s put on pretty dresses and dance the night away.
Then tomorrow, I’ll help you figure out where to start. Sound like a plan?”
Just a few minutes ago, it felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. How did Bo make something that felt so heavy suddenly feel like nothing at all?
“I don’t know how much fun I’ll be,” I admit, but I stand nonetheless.
Bo smiles mischievously. “Just break out your stripper moves. I bet that’ll get the party started.” She smacks my ass playfully and skips inside while my mouth hangs open. Quickly, I retrieve my phone from where it landed in the yard and trot off after her.
The last thing I want to do is get dressed up and pretend like I’m not in deep shit, but the way Bo was looking at me has my curiosity running wild. I could dwell on my misfortune or I could dive deeper into what unsaid words lay behind her soft chocolate irises.
Yeah.
Option two sounds a lot more fun.