Jess
The best part about fall in South Florida is that while the rest of the country is already getting snow and temperatures well under fifty degrees, Florida is cooling down just enough to land us in that perfect beach weather zone.
Almost every day is sunny, hovering between seventy-five and eight-five, with a cool breeze coming in off the coast.
I smile and soak it all in as the girls and I work on our tan in the back yard of the sorority house.
We’ve all been so busy with classes and work and relationship shit that it’s the first time the five of us have really been able to spend quality time together, and while the weather might be cooling down a smidge, it’s apparent to me that the drama in our lives never will.
This crew couldn’t escape trouble even if we tried.
So far, Cassie has filled us in on her and Adam’s fight regarding Grayson, and to be fair, we’ve all told her that while we understood that she wanted to be friends with Grayson, we understood why Adam flew off the handle.
Was he a little overdramatic? Maybe. But when I think back on how I reacted to Jarrett spending time with his female co-workers, I can’t blame him.
Hell, Jarrett didn’t even fuck those girls, and I was jealous and pissed off. I can’t imagine how I would have reacted if I knew they had a past.
Still, Cassie is adamant that she’s had to cut friends out of her life before and it’s nearly killed her. She almost cried when she told us she couldn’t do it again.
And I also understood that.
So, while we tried to help her through that whole ordeal, we also caught up with Ashlei and the weird intern drama going on at Okay, Cool and — though she’s been mostly coy about it — Erin briefly told us about a new “friend” she’s made at group therapy.
I have a feeling that friend is going to come with some benefits.
But we can all tell Erin’s not ready to talk about it, because she brushes off the topic as soon as it’s brought up and shifts the attention to Skyler.
“When do you see Kip next?” Erin asks, reaching for the sunscreen to reapply on her face.
Erin has always been the one to take the best care of her skin — not just in the sun, but with her entire regimen that she’s had since she was eighteen.
If I had to make a bet on which one of us would age the most gracefully, all my money would be on her.
“I’m flying in to see him for Thanksgiving, actually,” Skyler says on a longing sigh, fanning herself with her magazine. “And honestly, I’m a little nervous.”
“Why?” Cassie asks.
Skyler shrugs. “It’s hard to explain. I miss him so much, but I haven’t seen him since he started school out there. I don’t know… I guess I’m just worried that maybe I won’t fit into this new part of his life.”
Ashlei scoffs. “Are you kidding? I bet he can’t wait for you to be there so he can show you around and show you off to all his film buddies.”
“And I’m sure he can’t wait to bang your brains out,” I chime in. Then, I snap my fingers, leaning up in my chair so I can see her better. “Oh! Maybe you could make a movie of your own.”
I waggle my brows, and Skyler rips out a page of her magazine, balls it up, and pegs me in the forehead with it. “Perv.”
I stick my tongue out before reaching for my tumbler, which I told our sorority house mom had iced coffee in it but is actually filled with vodka and tonic and a splash of lime juice. “You love me.”
“We all bear that curse,” Erin agrees, and I reach over to smack her ass where she’s tanning it to the tune of giggles.
“Speaking of the spell you’ve put on us,” Cassie says. “Looks like Kade has fallen under the same one, huh?”
I try to bite back a smile, but fail miserably, and then I blush and I want to punch myself in the face.
“He’s definitely hooked,” I say, shaking off the butterflies in my stomach.
“And are you?” Skyler asks.
I sigh, flopping back in my chair dramatically.
“God, I don’t even know anymore.” I shake my head, trying to find the right words.
“He annoys the absolute fuck out of me. But… he also fascinates me, too. And God, the sex…” I pull down my sunglasses so the girls can see how serious I am. “The sex is out of this world.”
“Better than with Jarrett?” Ashlei asks, and I know she means it as nothing more than a simple comparison, but my heart pounds once, twice, three times hard in my chest.
I swallow. “It was different with Jarrett.”
“Different good or different bad?” Skyler asks.
“Just… different. We weren’t just fucking. We had a relationship.”
“Is that what you want with Kade?” Erin asks.
And the question hits me like a semi-truck.
I freeze, shock still, holding my drink in my hand with the sun warming my skin.
“Jess?” Erin asks.
But I can’t respond. I’m too busy turning her question over and over in my head, like the winning numbers of the lottery just waiting to be plucked out.
Holy fucking shit.
Do I want a relationship with Kade?
I mean, obviously, I want more — that much was established when I dragged his ass into the tent during the Halloween party and told him I wanted to be his and for him to be mine.
But, at the time, I’d been so focused on the fact that I didn’t want him with any other girl, that I hadn’t paused to ask myself what exactly I wanted from him — other than to fuck me exclusively.
And now that I’d asked myself the question, my reaction told me all I needed to know.
Skyler snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to J-Love.”
I groan, sinking back in my chair and abandoning my drink on the table so I can scrub my hands over my face. “Oh, God.”
“What?” Cassie asks, worried.
I sigh. “I do.”
The girls fall silent, exchanging glances.
“I do want a relationship.”
At that, Ashlei laughs, reaching over to squeeze my forearm. “You say that like you just realized you’re an alcoholic or something. Wanting a relationship isn’t bad, babe.”
My next swallow is impossible, like I’ve just eaten forty-five saltines without a glass of water to help out. “It is when I’m pretty fucking certain that is not what he wants,” I argue. Then, I lock eyes with her. “And that the last time I was in a relationship, I had my heart shattered.”
Again, the girls exchange glances, and then Skyler gets up from her chair and sits down at the foot of mine, leaning in to look me in the eyes. “Hey, love is fucking scary, okay? I think if anyone gets that, it’s this group of girls.”
Everyone nods, and my chest tightens with discomfort. I want to crawl inside a hole and hide forever.
“What if you just asked him?” Skyler suggests.
“Ask him what?”
“Ask him on a date,” she says with a shrug. “Or, better yet, tell him you’re going on a date. See what he says.”
My instant reaction is to shake my head and scream out absolutely not, but her words slide over me like silk, and I lean into them, wrapping them around myself like a blanket.
Could it be that simple?
Could I just tell Kade what I want, and him reciprocate it?
Everything in my body screams a resounding hell no, but already, I’m up out of my chair, throwing on my cover up and sliding into my sandals.
“Where are you going?” Erin asks.
“To the Alpha Sigma house.”
“To…?”
I look at all of them. “To tell that motherfucker that he’s taking me on a date.”
That earns me a burst of laughter, and they each smack my ass and holler out encouragements as I dash out of the backyard and down Greek Row.
I burst into the A Sig house just like I did that first time I came to tease Kade, only this time, the house is mostly empty — likely due to it being such a beautiful day outside. I head straight back to Kade’s room, but find it empty, and I frown, hanging my hands on my hips.
Where are you? I text him.
The house. What’s up?
Where at in the house?
Outside playing beer pong with the guys.
I weave my way through the house and outside, and there are at least a dozen brothers in their swim trunks, jamming to country music and playing beer pong and having an arm-wrestling competition at a nearby table.
At the sight of me, all the commotion stops.
Kade’s right in the middle of a game, and before he can shoot the ping pong ball across the table and into his opponent’s cup, I slide in front of him, taking it from his hand.
“What the—”
“I want more.”
Kade’s smile slips off his face at my words, and he shoves his sunglasses up onto the top of his head, cocking a brow at me. “Um… hi?”
“Hi,” I say. “I want more.”
“More what?”
“More than mind-blowing, toe-curling, name-screaming sex.”
That earns a few whistles and atta boys from his brothers, and I flick them all off before crossing my arms over my chest and focusing back on Kade. The noise around us picks up again, as if everyone has gone back to their business while Kade smirks down at me.
“Okay, then,” he says, leaning a hip against the table. “What do you want?”
“I want to go on a date.”
Kade’s eyes trail over me, locking on my cleavage still visible even in my cover up. When his eyes find mine again, his grin widens. “Friday?”
I clear my throat, aiming for nonchalance. “Fine.”
With my mission accomplished, I turn, tossing the ping pong ball across the table. It bounces once and sinks into the right back cup, and the boys roar in approval.
I wink at Kade, who’s laughing his ass off, and then I waltz my ass right on out of there with a victory smile on my face.