Jess
“You okay, Lei?” I ask at our last KKB Chapter of the year — of our lives.
Ashlei sniffs, dabbing at the corner of her eyes so she doesn’t mess up her makeup. “I’m trying to be.”
“Is this about giving up your exec position and getting ready to graduate, or about Brandon?”
She visibly shrinks in size, as if just his name took the breath out of her lungs. And when she peeks a glance at me, it’s the most pitiful I’ve ever seen. “Both,” she whispers.
I squeeze her knee. “Hey, you two are going to work it out. Alright? Trust me.”
She nods, but I know from our conversations over the past couple of weeks that she doesn’t believe me. Brandon hasn’t talked to her since the night she came clean about the intern. He’s even been avoiding her at the office in her last two weeks there. And as of this weekend, she’s a free woman.
Free from work.
Free from school.
Free from a relationship.
And though that could be seen as a fresh, new, and exciting step in life, I know right now all she can feel is heartbroken for everything she’s losing.
Honestly, I can’t blame her — especially when Kade and I are getting serious, and Erin is dating Gavin. I’ve been in that position before, when you try everything you can not to look around at everyone else’s happiness and compare your lack thereof.
All I can do now is be there for her, and I nudge her to remind her of that just as Erin invites Skyler and the other presidential candidates back into the room.
We all sit and clap, Cassie yelling out You got this, Big! from her seat across the aisle. I give a hoot of approval, along with half the chapter, because we all know before Erin even announces it who will be the next Kappa Kappa Beta president.
It couldn’t be anyone but Skyler Thorne.
It’s not even because Erin is president now, and her big was before her, and her grand big before that, etc.
, etc. It’s because no one cares about our sisters and this sorority more than Skyler does.
No one else drops whatever they have going on in an instant to be there for their friends the way she does.
And no one else could fill Erin’s shoes — and maybe even do the job better.
“I’ve already given my sappy thank you speech,” Erin says when the room has quieted, and I don’t miss her tearing up just like Lei.
“But I just have to say one more time that I am truly honored for the privilege you all bestowed upon me this time last year. I hope I made you proud, and I want you to know that I will never forget you — any of you — or this amazing sorority.”
I start my favorite Kappa Kappa Beta chant, and sisters slowly chime in, until the whole room is full of laughter and yelling and crying and far too much emotion for me, personally, but damn it if I don’t love it all the same.
Even I, Jess Vonnegut, am not immune to the sads that come with graduating college and leaving this part of my life behind.
“Okay okay, enough about me,” Erin says, facing Skyler and the two other sisters who were brave enough to run against her for president.
“This decision was incredibly tough for all of us.
We had to ask ourselves who would be our best leader, who would fight for us, and most of all — who would represent everything we stand for?
“I have nothing but absolute faith that the person who you all chose to place your faith in will far exceed your expectations. This young woman is exciting, fresh, full of ideas and even more — spunk. She’s everyone’s best friend, confidant, and mentor.
She’s been through a lot in life, more than most of us will ever face, and she isn’t afraid to own every part of her life that’s made her who she is. ”
Erin smiles, and I nearly combust trying to hold in the cheer I know is coming.
“I am proud to announce that the new president of Kappa Kappa Beta is… should I let someone else say it?”
Erin pauses, and I huff, rolling my eyes.
But before I can spout off a smart-ass remark, the back doors open, and all my sisters start cheering.
I frown at first, standing and cheering along with them as the brothers of Alpha Sigma pour into the room.
Half of them are wearing acoustic guitars around their chests, and when Kade slides by the front row and steals a kiss from me, I laugh and bat him away, still confused.
Until I see a familiar face that I haven’t seen since last semester.
Well, I’ll be damned.
Kip Jackson struts in like he owns the place, and I only look at him for a split second before I find Skyler, who covers her mouth with both hands and tears up immediately. The damn sight of it gets me choked up and Lei pokes my ribs, making fun of me as I swat her away like I did Kade.
Damn emotions.
Kip takes Skyler’s hand in his, kissing it before thrusting it up into the air. “Ladies of Kappa Kappa Beta, your new president!”
We all clap and cheer and lose our shit, and then the brothers all start swaying — some of them playing guitar, some of them singing the lyrics to “My Girl.” Before long, all my sisters join in, too, and when the song finishes, Kip calls our attention back to him long enough to present Skyler with the Alpha Sigma letters on a delicate gold chain.
A lavalier.
“Skyler Thorne, you mean everything to me. You are my world. When we met earlier this year, we were both playing a game that neither of us was prepared to lose. Tricks were played, hearts were broken, but in the end — we somehow made it out alive. Together. I promised to never gamble with your heart again, and this is me showing that promise to the world. Please, make me the happiest man in the world, Ella Mae. Wear my lavalier?”
God, it’s just too fucking sweet!
I’m so annoyed that I’m all teary-eyed and gooey as the room cheers again and Kip puts the necklace around Skyler’s neck. Kade’s eyes find mine, and he winks, giving me a shit-eating grin that tells me he sees just how emotional I am over the whole night.
Damn it all.
“Alright, bitches!” I yell, standing up before I can cry. “Let’s go party! Everyone to Ralph’s!”
Ashlei laughs as the rest of the sorority cheers in agreement, and then Kade sneaks up behind me, squeezing my hips.
I turn, and as much as the old Jess would have thumped him on the nose or shoved him away, it’s the last thing I want to do.
Instead, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him for everyone to see, both loving and hating the butterflies in my chest.
This kid was just supposed to be a distraction, a free ride, a little fun in my last semester.
And then the asshole went and stole my heart.
“Someone is all in their feels tonight,” he says, kissing my neck.
“Shut up.”
“It’s okay to be mushy sometimes, Jess. No one will judge you for having a pulse and emotions.”
“I am judging me,” I argue.
Kade chuckles, threading his hand through mine. “Come on, let’s go get you drunk. That’ll take your mind off your feels. Plus,” he adds, sucking my earlobe between his teeth. “Then, I can take advantage of you.”
“Finally on date 3,” I muse.
“Finally.”
“We could just skip Ralph’s altogether.”
“But it was your idea. You just told everyone to go there.”
I huff dramatically. “Fine. But you’re driving.”
That earns me a kiss on the cheek, and I lean into Kade, wrapping my arm through his as we make our way to the back of the house and out to the parking lot before making our way down Greek Row to the Alpha Sig house.
“So, classes are over, graduation in just a few days… how are you feeling?”
I sigh. “Weird.”
“Going to miss all this?”
“Of course. But, as much as I’m sad, I’m excited, too. I’ll have a big girl job soon, and my own apartment, and who knows what else. College has been amazing, but… I’m ready for what’s next.”
“And what about me?”
I tap his nose. “What about you?”
“You going to miss me, too?”
All the joking is gone, and I see the vulnerability in Kade’s eyes like I’ve never seen it before. I pull him to a stop on the sidewalk, frowning. “I don’t have to miss you. I’ll still be local. I thought… I mean, I thought we’d stay together.”
He lets out a long breath. “You did?”
“Of course, I did, you dummy.” I shove him playfully. “What, you think I’d spend all that time and effort morphing you into my perfect little sex god just to let some other girl reap the benefits? No way.”
“Hey, I was a sex god before you got to me. You just made me better.”
“Mm-hmm, whatever you say.” I lean up on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his lips. “But seriously, I want to do this. I want to keep dating and see where this goes… that is, if you want to. I mean, you’re a junior, you still have some time here, and I don’t want to hold you back from enjoying it.”
“You don’t hold me back from anything,” he says quickly, sincerely. “You make it better.”
“That was borderline cheesy.”
“You love my cheese.”
I roll my eyes, but don’t deny that he’s right, and after another hot, longing kiss that has me wishing we were already done partying for the night and back in his bed, we continue our walk down Greek Row.
“I just have to run inside and grab my keys. Meet you at the car?” he says when we get to the A Sig house.
I nod, pulling out my phone to text the girls. My feet carry me on autopilot to Kade’s parking spot, and it’s not until I’m a few feet away from it that I look up.
When I do, I drop my phone.
I can’t bend to retrieve it when the glass shatters on the ground. I can’t even grasp that it fell at all. I can’t do anything but stand there as if my feet are cemented to the parking lot, staring, unblinking, unbelieving at the sight in front of me.
My heart races in my ears, pulsing in my throat, consuming me with its erratic, suffocating rhythm. It’s all I can focus on, and it’s the only thing keeping me upright and alive, because every other organ slowly gives out.
“Jarrett?”
His name is a gasp of a whisper on my lips, and I blink over and over, trying to unsee him, to clear the vision of him leaned up against Kade’s car. It must be a mirage. It must be a hallucination.
Jarrett’s eyes are hard on me, brown and endless as ever, his smooth head and sprawling tattoos covering every inch of his arms a sight for sore eyes.
I still don’t believe he’s real, even when he pushes off the car and tucks his hands into his pockets, crossing the small space between us and stopping with just a foot left to go.
His eyes search mine, and my stomach bottoms out.
He bites his lip, and my heart squeezes to a stop before kicking back to life painfully in my chest.
He lets out a breath that reaches my lips, and I inhale it shakily, swallowing it down, my entire body shaking with the familiar scent of it.
Kade’s hand on my hip jolts me back to life, and I jump at the contact, breathing heavy and nearly fainting. The only thing that stops me from going down is Kade’s arms around me, and he frowns, looking back and forth between me and Jarrett while I try not to pass out again.
“Are you okay?” he asks me, and I think I nod. I think I grip onto his arms to hold myself upright. I think I keep breathing.
What happens next, I only wish I could convince myself wasn’t real.
Because Kade looks at Jarrett, and Jarrett appraises Kade, and then he says the last thing I ever could have expected.
“Hello, brother.”
After that, everything goes dark.